Tales from E3 and CES
This was one of our funniest podcasts from back in the day. We at Obsolete Gamer were privileged to be
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Humor
Anyone that has played games long enough has a funny story and experience. Here we talk about all the aspects of gaming that makes you laugh out loud.
Megarace 2 Cut Scene Videos (Lance Boyle is a God!)
These cut scenes consisted of Lance Boyle, the game’s host, and always his lovely assistant which either is a different clone every time or Lance is enough of a dick that he never remembers her name or calls her a random woman’s name just to troll her. If you’ve never seen it before press play and prepare to have your mind blown. Here are all the Megarace 2 cut scene videos!
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Sex and Video Game Ads
When it came to classic game ads you have to remember most of the time these were being sold to store owners who drank that cheap beer and watched those same commercials so the same marketing campaign applied. That and males dominated gaming back then so a sexy girl on a magazine flyer just worked on the most basic level. However, some of these just look crazy now, or maybe not and you are printing these out and heading off to the bathroom.
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Sex Sells Video Games
The infamous Everquest ad with the two models received a lot a backlash whereas twenty years prior it would have been accepted as the norm.You can’t blame marketers for placing pretty women next to products they want men to buy, that has been working for a long time just look at any car show or trade show for that matter. So it is no surprise that early video game ads pretty much were the exact same thing.
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Things to do with an NES cartridge
Need a place to hold all those NES ROMS well look no further than this cool completely functioning external disc drive. Using the Gold Zelda cart is a bonus for the bling factor. By the way, did you know the gold Zelda cart was considered common and the grey cart was considered rare?
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The NES bandwagon
When the NES really hit its stride everyone wanted a game on it or an accessory for it. It was like creating a commercial that could be played 24 hours a day directly to a kid’s brain. Seriously, as much as I was into NES and their games I did not know about half of the companies that rushed out a game just so they could say they have a title on the NES and that goes for accessories as well. Here is a small list of games and accessories that jumped in when they probably should have stayed out.
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Video Game Character Dating Profiles: Joy
The first things people usually notice about me: My lack of shame. The others told me my entrance was too slutty, but they are just jealous bitches. My name is Joy not Sister Mary Kate and with a body crafted by Ukrainian gymnast it would be a crime not to show it off.
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The Gamers Guide to Sex
Surprise sex can be fun when it is wanted and legal. However, with the gamer it can go 50/50. Here are a few examples. You are playing a console game and your girlfriend is frisky and begins pushing your buttons. It is a simple matter to pause the game and have a little non-digital fun. On the flip side, you are in the middle of your StarCraft 2 tournament match and your boyfriend is poking at your boobs. This is a bad time and will most likely get you yelled at and a faction loss, which might result in no sex even once she is done with her game.
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The Bain of stickers on Consoles
Today you can find some cool skins for consoles that make them look badass. That is not what my console looked like. At the time, I was also big into baseball cards and some of them came with stickers. I thought it would be cool to put them on the system. For about one day, I thought it was cool and then quickly regretted it. You would think getting stickers out would be easy, but it wasn’t. I ended up with a much worst system than in the first picture and I did not know any of the tricks to clean it up.
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Five Don’ts of gaming
You are not going for a Twin Galaxies record so when you decide to have a retro game night with your friends do not show how you can beat Super Mario Bros 3 with one life because it will just piss us off and make us retaliate on you. On the other hand, if you want to school your friends in a game of Temco Bowl go right ahead.
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Don’t Copy That Floppy!
Remember the days of the Bard’s Tale 3 copy protection wheel and having to go into manuals to enter a word to prevent copying? Well I do! And now so will you with this horrible PSA from back in the day.
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Games & Candy 2: Digital Deliciousness
So in the first edition of Games and Candy we talked about the different kinds of sweets you could munch on while playing your favorite games. This time we take a look at candy within games. Now we know games are marketed to kids and teens, but everyone can love video games just as everyone can love candy. Just like food, candy has a deep root within games sometimes as the main focus of and sometimes just tossed in there because they can.
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Classic Videogame Politicians
Mike ran on a platform of cleaning up the streets of Metro City and he meant to do it in the blood of his enemies. I guess when you can body slam all your opponents into the concrete and kick an arrow shooting wheelchair bound man out of a high rise you are bound to win the popular vote. Jesse Ventura said Mike was his “Regan” and followed in his footsteps. Currently there has been some scandal as Mike has been seen hiking the appellation trail and caught at other fighting tournaments instead of governing. Mike tried to appease his constituents by giving them the WWE channel for free, but in the end he had to quit after only two years as governor due to “distractions.”
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The New Characters of UMvC3. Wait, Phoenix Wright?
When at first EventHubs only posted the next 4 heroes or villains, a leak was released of the next 8. It was then an official article was written and posted not long after. The characters include Strider who was also in MvC2, and many other completely new characters to the Marvel vs. Capcom series like Virgil from Devil May Cry 3 and…Nemesis? With Nemesis included there are now 4 characters of the Resident Evil series included in the game.
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I’m Becoming A Korean (Gamer)
On a serious note, much during my internet down time I got to read the Master of Orion 2 manual A LOT and it made me really sad that they no longer make 200 page user manuals like that that were actually worth reading and it also made me really sad that Microprose (probably my favorite game company) has been dead for a long time. They sure don’t make them like that anymore! Klackons FTW!
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Castlevania: Symphony of the Night gave me a boner
I believe this creature was created after someone went on a blind OKCupid date and was fooled by a MySpace angle. This creature is easy to beat and has an attractive upper body and a horrible monster for a lower body. When you hit her and kill her, she turns and moons you and you realize baby’s got back.
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Horrible Video Game Names
This Dreamcast game is actually pretty fun to play and let’s just be truthful, there are some geeks out there who would have no problem getting down with a robot. Just listen to how the guy says the name of the game and the name of chapter 1 is called, It’s not fair.
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