Humor

Classic Videogame Politicians

Are you bad enough to have a burger with Reagan after you save his life? ~J.A. Laraque

Classic Videogame Politicians

Mass_Endorsement

So we are in a presidential race season, this means you will be hearing about who you should vote for and why and most likely it will make television watching a pain. Seeing all these people looking to becoming your representative’s made me think about some politicians from classic video games. Maybe you would vote for one of these guys or gals if you could.

Princess “Peach” Toadstool

Princess Peach

While Princess Peach is the princess of the Mushroom Kingdom she really does not do much as far as us gamers can see. It seems as if she is more like the head of a board of directors and the real power comes from her mushroom retainers that are always with her. Perhaps it is a good thing since she is always being kidnapped. By the way, she is estimated to be worth over 1 billion dollars. Perhaps that’s the true reasons she was always being kidnapped. She is the one present.

Master-D: Bionic Commando

Master-D

I don’t think there are many people who would vote for Master-D since he really seems like a copy of Hitler, but you never know, with the right platform he could be a third party candidate or spoiler.  In the original version of the game Nazi imagery and references were everywhere, but were removed by the ever censoring hand of Nintendo. Master-D is currently working on having his civil war era flag restored and we hear he has 70% of the vote in Mississippi.

Mayor Mike Haggar: Final Fight

mike_haggar

Mike ran on a platform of cleaning up the streets of Metro City and he meant to do it in the blood of his enemies. I guess when you can body slam all your opponents into the concrete and kick an arrow shooting wheelchair bound man out of a high rise you are bound to win the popular vote. Jesse Ventura said Mike was his “Regan” and followed in his footsteps. Currently there has been some scandal as Mike has been seen hiking the appellation trail and caught at other fighting tournaments instead of governing. Mike tried to appease his constituents by giving them the WWE channel for free, but in the end he had to quit after only two years as governor due to “distractions.”

President Reagan: Bad Dudes

Ronald Reagan Bad Dudes

Are you bad enough to have a burger with Reagan after you save his life? I really think this was an inside joke because his name is Ronald and you know, burgers, get it? Either way like Reagan’s trickle down economics being offered a grilled meat sandwich after fighting an army of bad guys to save him leaves you with not much of worth. Did you know the bad guys offered 10 million for the Bad Dudes to walk away? If only there was a working time machine.

So who would you vote for, who could lead us to the promise land?

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J.A. Laraque

J.A. Laraque is a freelance writer and novelist. His passion for writing mixed with a comedic style and intelligent commentary has brought him success in his various endeavors. Whatever the subject, J.A. has an opinion on it and will present it in writing with an insight and flair that is both refreshing and informative.

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