Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Smash-Up

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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Smash-Up

TMNT Smash Up is everything that’s wrong with fighting games in the modern era. It lacks any sense of cohesiveness, more content with slapping characters on-screen to flail around without a sense of pacing or flow.

Trying to discuss motion controls in a fighting game is pointless. They simply shouldn’t exist. That said, even with the classic controller Smash Up is awful. Jumping is floaty, creating a disconnect between the player and the character. The lack of d-pad controls are unforgivable, making the already loose movement nearly impossible in terms of preciseness.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Smash-Up - Nintendo Wii

That creates an additional issue when attempting to complete the mini-games, forced on the player whether or not they simply want to continue in the arcade mode… twice. Asking for any accuracy in a game with so little is absurd, yet that’s what Smash Up’s mini excursions are designed around.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Smash-Up - Nintendo Wii

An atrocious tutorial is a simple video, not one tailored to your chosen control scheme. The mechanics, such as ninja powers, are never explained. It creates a learning curve that forces the player out before they can be drawn in, something that makes a supposedly accessible melee brawler out of the reach of many.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Smash-Up - Nintendo Wii

Mirage artists craft cinematics tailored to mimic the art style of the original comics, but also clashed with the in-game visuals capitalizing on the recent animated cartoon film. The comic drawings also appear rushed, with oddly proportioned characters and limited detail.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Smash-Up - Nintendo Wii

If Turtles fans will gain anything, it is a set of voice actors who instantaneously create familiarity with the Turtles. They fit, even if the rest of the game does not. Smash Up doesn’t even seem to be a case of rushed development. There is not a game here that could have become anything besides a sloppy melee fighter. The end results are nothing short of disappointment.

New Super Mario Bros. Wii

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New Super Mario Bros. Wii

 The original New Super Mario Bros. on DS was a good platformer and a great revival of the classic 2D games. Though it was too easy, a little bland, and there was a lot they could have improved upon. I was surprised to see the first sequel appear on Wii instead of the DS (or the eventual 3DS), but I thought it would be about the same quality as the first. I was thankfully wrong about that.
New Super Mario Bros. Wii - Gameplay screenshot -
Don’t get me wrong, I did like the first game but I loved New Super Bros. Wii. It had such a variety of levels, proved to be a challenge in the later levels (though not terribly difficult), and had levels almost as fun as Super Mario Bros. 3 or Super Mario World. I have yet to play either the 3DS or WiiU sequel, but I will.

WarioWare Smooth Moves

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WarioWare Smooth Moves

Good evening, Seamus the Leprechaun here, guest blogger on the Decrepit Gamer, comin atcha from the bowels of Southern Ireland, where the weather is freezing my goolies off.

Well the old fella has let me loose on a review, so in a effort to give new life to the standard yawn inducing reviews we’ll take a little rumage at what ye the players have had to say about the bloody game.
WarioWare Smooth Moves

Well as if there was any doubt, scoring 83% from the readers reviews on Metacritic.com
the games the cat’s pyjamas.

Readers Reviews Summary:
Terribly stupid and shallow gameplay mechanism. At least Wii Sports was free and had bowling but Warioware is just DISGUSTING! Score 1/10
I find no enjoyment whatsoever in this. It’s painful to look at. How can I enjoy a game, regardless of the controls if I can’t stand the graphics? Score 0/10As you can see theres always some eejit willing to make a …(censored -elderly) of themselves in public.

WarioWare Smooth Moves

Gaf Comments: So I took me a trip over to the Wario thread on GAF forums, where spOrsk said
“the game seems over, way before it should be……..it just seems the game is missing the ambition of games like RT and Twisted.” Which frightened the crap out of a number of members till the following emergedPeru..This game is magical. It’s fantastic. It’s the best wario ware game by far
Memles… I think it’s a whole lot of fun, contains some moments of brilliant game design, but there just isn’t enough here.
Alternative Ulster…Wow, this game is beyond amazing.
wasting….Its awesome, finally a reason to turn my wii on again
2D mention…I’m quite impressed
Phife Dawg…I’m having a great time with this. Beating the high scores is fun and multiplayer is a blast.

Warioware_Smooth_Moves

So dere you have it… straight from the horses mouth, not those namby pamby professional reviewers who wouldn’t know a good game if it bit em in the ar…..(censored–elderly).

Right thats me done!. . . . . Oh yeah!!!

. . . . .theres a neat (I suppose) option over on the Nintendo site providing exclusive content. But to access it you’ll have to stick your pin in….. (elderly—-you actually have to enter a pin number contained in the special software insert included with the game)

Super Smash Bros. Brawl

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Super Smash Bros. Brawl

Super Smash Bros. Melee is one of my favorite games of all time, and when the sequel Brawl came out on the Wii I was more than excited. It had been a good number of years since Melee and there was plenty of new features and characters. Including the first non-Nintendo ones being Metal Gear Solid’s Snake and Sega’s Sonic.

Super Smash Bros. Brawl - Nintendo Wii

The game was generally the same as Melee with the layout and moves. They did recreate the adventure mode with a story and impressive cut-scenes. Though I did miss the Adventure Mode of Melee, as I thought it was overall more fun.

Super Smash Bros. Brawl - Nintendo Wii

Besides the online matches barely working, and tweaks in the game physics (though only super-fans will be able to tell the difference), I was overall satisfied with Brawl. I did miss that Roy and Mewtwo were no longer around either, but even though I had less fun than I did with Melee it was still one of my favorite Wii games.

Super Mario Galaxy

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Reviewers did have some minor complaints with “the spring suit”, a power-up which at times proves difficult to control and the occasional niggle with the auto-camera. ~The Elderly Gamer

Super Mario Galaxy

We’re going back, back in time, back to November 12th 2007 and the release of
the game that saw the Nintendo hero take the ultimate step … out into space.
Now available for your Wii at a bargain bin near you.

super-mario-galaxy-wii
The game follows
the protagonist, Mario, on a quest to rescue Princess Peach from the principal
baddy “Bowser”. Levels are galaxies filled with minor planets and worlds, while
gameplay is updated with gravity effects and power-ups. The game also features a
co-operative two-player option called “Co-Star Mode”.
super-mario-galaxy-wii
The 9th best
selling Wii game to date, with 8.84 million copies sold as of May 2010.  At the
time the game was hailed by several gaming websites as one of the best video
games of all time even managing to pick up it’s very own BAFTA.
super-mario-galaxy-wii
The
game’s soundtrack won numerous critic awards, which belies the story behind
the composition of the astonishing 81 tracks featured on the Platinum Edition
CD.
super-mario-galaxy-wii
Reviewers did have some minor complaints with “the spring suit”, a
power-up which at times proves difficult to control and the occasional niggle
with the auto-camera.
super-mario-galaxy-wii
A sequel Super Mario Galaxy 2 was released on May
23, 2010, many reviewers claiming that it is even better than its
predecessor.

The game Scored a staggering  97% averaged from 73 critic scores on
Metacritic.com.

super-mario-galaxy

Quotes of the Review
bunch

“It will frequently hug your inner child,
evoke tears of joy and tug at the heart.”
NTSC-uk

an astoundingly brilliant
game. It’s filled with wild new ideas (that work), is huge, looks brilliant and
should be taught at game design courses.” Gnomes Lair

Reviews Summary:

It is as if the boundaries of the genre have become
transparent, allowing a unique light to shine
forth.
A bravura piece of design that pulls off stunts no
one else has even thought of.
May feel a little too easy
for most gamers
Nintendo can still make something old feel
new again
Generates a consistent level of excitement that
few games can replicate.
Gameplay, visuals, sound,
presentation and overall value and fun are off the
charts
Not as technologically pioneering as its
grandfather
Level for level, more fun to play than “Mario
64.”
The only word to describe fighting Bowser with an
orchestral score in the background is “badass.”
After 25
years he’s still fat, still round, and still bouncing on the ground. And still
the greatest.

No More Heroes

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The game features a free roaming world with Travis moving around on foot or on his trusty scooter, the “Schpeltiger”. Originally planned as an ultraviolent title to rival Manhunt 2, the copious amounts of blood were later replaced with black pixels and coins spurting from fallen enemies, resulting in final ratings of Pegi 16+ and ESRB M. ~The Elderly Gamer

No More Heroes

Off to the bargain bins again and this time out we’re looking for a Wii original “No More Heroes” which first hit the shelves way back in January 2008. It’s popularity spawned a sequel in 2010, No More Heroes 2: Desperate Struggle and a port  to the Xbox 360 and Ps3 titled “No More Heroes’ Paradise”.
Designed by none other than Suda51 aka Goichi Suda, you play as Travis Touchdown, a card carrying otaku, who lives in the fictional town of Santa Destroy, California. After an unexpected turn of events, and the purchase of a light saber on ebay, you find yourself on the bottom rung of an Assassins’ organization. You must  prove yourself worthy and defeat 10 other bloodthirsty killers, all with deep stories of their own, to make your way to the top of the assassin’s league.

no-more-heroes-nintendo-wii

The game features a free roaming world with Travis moving around on foot or on his trusty scooter, the “Schpeltiger”. Originally planned as an ultraviolent title to rival Manhunt 2, the copious amounts of blood were later replaced with black pixels and coins spurting from fallen enemies, resulting in final ratings of Pegi 16+ and ESRB M.
no-more-heroes-nintendo-wii
The reviews at the time were resoundingly positive, withMetacrtic awarding it a score of  83% from 64 critc reviews.

Quote of the Bunch:
“SUDA-51 has delivered a game that can match its absurd premise with equally stimulating gameplay, making for one of the most unique and satisfying action games in recent memory”
Gamespot.
no-more-heroes-nintendo-wii
Reviews Summary
A true joy of creation that is too rarely seen in gaming.
The overall weird factor of the game are the main reason to check it out
F…ing awesome.
Some mystic element about it that makes it worth playing.
Top-tier mature gaming and pitch-perfect swordplay.
A funky, fun third-person hack and slash marred by some boring open world side-missions.
A unique title with some genius moments.
Open world sections do more harm than good
A love letter to videogames that never grows old, tired, or dull
There are few games as good as this on any platform.

The only surving…
Official Game site (Japanese)

Alien Crush Returns

Alien Crush Returns

It’s scary to think that it’s now 23 years since Naxat dreamed up the genesis of the Crush series. There have since been several sequels, both official and otherwise, the last of which was the little-known Jaki Crush, itself now almost 20 years old, but that was it. Until now! Yes, in a move of special magnificence, Tamsoft have resurrected this great series and what better way of doing so than to remake the original? Alien Crush Returns is more of a sequel than a remake really though and they’ve even managed to tack on a backstory this time!

Alien Crush Returns

Apparently “an elite squad of space marines sets off to investigate an alien spaceship trapped in Jupiter’s gravity” or some such nonsense. Sound familiar? How they’ve managed to facilitate a pinball game with that story I don’t know, but the game includes a story mode, arcade mode, ranking mode and versus mode (1-4 player), and as well as multiple tables, including bonus tables as always, and lots of other sweet features like multi ball, reverse ball, etc.

Alien Crush Returns

The biggest change between this game and the original is of course the graphics which are lovely and suitably grotesque, including pulsating sacs, toothy mouths, slimy tubes, scuttling insects, and all manner of horrifying beasts. There’s even huge bosses this time too! There are initially three tables to play in arcade mode (although more can be downloaded) and the ball pings around them at quite a speed, probably the fastest of any Crush game so far, and as usual they are packed with secrets and bonuses galore.

Alien Crush Returns

I haven’t yet spent any time playing this game as I don’t own a Wii but the prospect of playing it sure makes buying one a tempting prospect, and the possibility of a Devil’s Crush Returns in the future is even more exciting! So, Alien Crush has indeed returned but is it better than the original? Well, that remains to be seen, but I can’t wait to find out!

RKS Score: 4/5

Weird Games: Super Pii Pii Brothers

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When I pitched this series I had this game in mind. I thought the spanking game was weird, but this one takes the cake. Seriously, this was the kind of game that if it was released anytime near April you would think it was an April Fool’s joke, but no, it is a real game for a real (kind of) gaming system.

Super Pii Pii brothers was a $35 import for the Nintendo Wii (fitting name) and the gameplay was simple. Your mission was to put on a harness and “strap” the Wii remote to your crotch area and then pee into and onto a series of places and animals. I mean just look at the picture, if you saw your girlfriend walk in wearing that would you run or be happy? (Seriously, I’m asking here.)

super_piipii_brothers-main

In the game you start off with a series of toilets and as they open you need to aim yourself and tilt up to pee into the toilet. Also, you seem to have some serious bladder problems because the stream of pee is endless. So the key is to get most of the pee in the toilet and as little as possible on the floor. (This sounds like a game at any bar in America.)

Now when the toilets open sometimes a stray cat or other toilet critter may pop up and you actually get bonus points for peeing on them. (P.I.T.A. be damned). The game is said to have over 100 different bathrooms from all around the world. Check out what the Japanese had in mind for the main reason for playing this game from the translation on the box.

super_piipii_brothers-control

“Super Pii Pii Brothers promotes good bathroom skills and allows women to experience for the first time the pleasure of urinating while standing.”

So I guess this game is just for women who want to strap on a… you know what, let’s just end the article here on a high note.

Check out the game on Think Geek.

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Ok, ok, the game isn’t real, but hey it still counts as a weird game.

Sweety Puzzle

Sweety Puzzle - Gameplay Screenshot
Non-gamers are Nintendo’s Wii little target, non-gamers were the people the PlayStation turned to gamers all those years ago and non-gamers are the market casual games are aiming for. But what are casual games (ask the masses in their booming and state-shattering voices)? Well, according to Wikipedia they are “a category of electronic or computer games targeted at the mass audience, which are peculiar for their simple rules, engaging game design, require no time commitment or special skills from an end user as well as comparatively low production and distribution costs from producer“.

 

Sweety Puzzle - Gameplay Screenshot

A wise and brief description, that so just happens to perfectly fit the subject of this quite modest review: Sweety Puzzle. A quirky, simple and extremely addictive indy-game that comes from Thailand. Yes, Thailand-Asia. A beautiful country you really should be visiting. But, as usual, I digress. Ahhh, yes, Sweety Puzzle. Haven’t played a game like this for years: elegant, fun, retro looking and with fine music playing in the background.

Sweety Puzzle - Gameplay Screenshot

The game feels like the mutant offspring of Go, Tetris and Columns. You place colored candies on a pink grid, rotate them, and apparently try to make them go pop! before you run out of time or space. It is actually one of those things that are better experienced, not described. So, just visit Sweety Puzzle’s homepage for a hefty demo; then come back here. I have not finished yet.

 

Sweety Puzzle has an excellent learning curve and a few very tiny glitches, mostly centered around its not-so-well Thai to English translation. It costs less than 7$ or 6 euros. Ok. Now, I’ve finished.

That’s an (eight) out of (ten).

For a downloadable or Java demo (or a purchase) of Sweety Puzzle click here. For an Independent Gaming Sweety Puzzle review, here.