The Top Cartoons From The 1990s

This list includes every cartoon I thought was great or totally amazing that started airing or were super popular in the 1990s. Let”s go over all of them in alphabetical order!

Aeon FluxAeon Flux

This was a really weird science fiction cartoon that was showed on MTV”s Liquid Television in the early 1990s. The show was about Aeon Flux, a female secret agent that was mixed up in a lot of conspiracies, a war with a neighboring country, assassinations, betrayal, cloning, and a bunch of other crazy plots. The entire cartoon was a complete mind fuck.

The feeling this show gave me was similar to the feeling I get from the Paranoia RPG and Brazil. Pretty much, it”s a totally fucked up distopian future where you are either a drone or you are involved in sinister greater forces that control and rule everything and keep everyone oppressed. Life is cheap and everybody is replaceable.

The way this cartoon was drawn and the bizarre style of it reminded me a lot of the comics that would come out in Heavy Metal magazine. A lot like the style of those weird french graphic novels from the 80s and 90s.

There aren”t a lot of episodes of this show. I remember renting the whole show on VHS back when those existed, so you have an idea how short it is.

There was a live action movie that was a remake of the show. It was okay. Most people either liked it or flat out hated it.


This was Steven Spielberg”s next cartoon character after having made the hugely successful Tiny Toon Adventures. The show was like watching a cartoon version of The Marx Brothers. The entire cartoon was about two brothers and a sister going around trolling everybody they met. The show also introduced Pinky And The Brain, a cartoon that was about an idiot mouse that is always trying to help a super genius mouse “try to take over the world!” The Brain sounded a lot like Orson Welles. Pink And The Brain were probably my favorite characters from the show.

The main storyline for this insane show was that Yakko, Wakko, and Dot were 1930s cartoons characters that got trapped in the water tower of the Warner Bros Studios and were finally released to mess with the world in the 1990s. There were other sketches with other characters such as The Goodfeathers. The Goodfeathers were a parody of the gangsters from the movie Goodfellas except that they were a bunch of pigeons. They were great, even impersonating Joe Pesci”s characters that usually go ape shit over everything. There was also Slappy Squirrel which was a bitter old cartoon character that would put people in their place while trying to teach those values to her nephew Skippy Squirrel.

Batman BeyondBatman Beyond

Think Batman meets cyberpunk Shadowrun and this is pretty much what the show is. It”s set in the future. Bruce Wayne is old, has heart conditions, and is slowly dying. Everybody that Bruce Wayne worked with either hates him or is dead. What ends up happening is that Bruce Wayne can no longer be Batman. For a while he”s already used a power armor kind of Batsuit but even that doesn”t prevent him from having heart attacks while fighting crime. So… some kid that has a situation like Bruce gets picked up to be the next Batman.

The show is almost not even a kids show as people (rarely) die in this show but at least there is death. If you are a fan of the other Batman cartoons then you need to follow the chain of history by watching this show. The sad part is that this show got cancelled, probably because of the violence and dark tones, but if you really want to see how all of Batman ends, I urge you to watch Justice League”s “Epilogue” episode. That ends all of Batman, forever. It is simply the best thing ever written for Batman.

Anyways, back to Batman Beyond… The Joker is dead and so are many of the old villains since it”s the year 2039. Instead of having The Joker, you have The Joker street gang and other characters based on themes from the past as well as some of them returning. The new villains are insanely more powerful than classic Batman villains, some of them being to the scale of power that it would take Superman or the Justice League to bring them down.

There are movies of the show, and they are all worth watching.

Since youtube restricts it, I can”t embed the intro, so here”s the link to it instead (open in a new tab).

Batman The Animated SeriesBatman: The Animated Series

This is a cartoon that was so good that I would stop doing anything to watch. This set the bar for me for what everything comic book related should be for the rest of time. Batman The Animated Series is so damn good that it makes everything else Batman look like shit, and I am including the Tim Burton and Chris Nolan movies. Now, yeah, that might be going a little bit too far but for a cartoon this is simply ART. The music along with the drawings along with the voice acting and writing makes for a perfect cartoon. This IS the Dark Knight. The writing is so good that I often remember quotes from the show. “How much is a good night”s rest? Now there”s a riddle for you…” and many more.

This cartoon is what and are based on.

This cartoon is so good that each episode has its own unique soundtrack written for it. The level of writing are just as good as the original Twilight Zone series. You MUST watch it.

Again, youtube doesn”t allow embedding so just open in a new tab, the HD 1080p version of the Batman Intro.

Darkwing DuckDarkwing Duck

Darkwing Duck was a spinoff from DuckTales and it was sort of like a comical parody of superheroes, especially Batman. This takes place in the DuckTales universe, even having Launchpad MacQuack as his sidekick, the really bad pilot from DuckTales that always crashes everything that he pilots. Just think of it like a light hearted Batman except that his parents didn”t get murdered and that he has to take care of a bratty daughter Gosalyn Mallard. I remember any time that there would be action he would always say his catchphrase: “Let”s get dangerous!”

This cartoon was really popular in the early to mid 90s especially when DuckTales was still around.

Dilbert TV SeriesDilbert

This was an amazing comedy show based on the incredible make-fun-of-working comic strip Dilbert. The show was as funny as the strip but I could tell it was probably doomed from the start since it would show on UPN. Like it was totally marketed incorrectly, on the wrong network for this show. It would probably done really well on Fox or Cartoon Network or on Adult Swim but then again this was the 1990s, not 5-10 years later. Still, they should have at least gone with Fox, although Fox kills most of all of its good shows (like Family Guy and Futurama).

If you don”t know what Dilbert is, it”s about showing how crappy it is to work in a corporate cubicle farm culture. The boss is a moron/asshole, everybody does anything they can in order to do the least amount of work and get paid the least. You know, just like in real life?

If you like the strip, just watch the show to see the cartoon version. You can see all the episodes of Dilbert on youtube via Crackle. Here is the link to the first episode.

Eek The CatEek The Cat

Eek The Cat was the perfect cartoon created by Savage Steve Holland which was intended for kids with ADD and to make fun of pop culture. The whole show was about Eek the Cat which was the nicest cat ever and he would always get hurt for trying to do the right thing. Pretty much every episode was about that. There was this dog, Sharky the Sharkdog which was always trying to bite Eek at every opportunity. “It never hurts to help” was what Eek would always say and then the worst things would happen to him, always physically. He had this horribly fat cat girlfriend called Annabelle that was morbidly obese and disgusting. Despite that he always loved her.

To me this show was infinitely superior to shows that came afterwards like Spongebob Squarepants.

Exo SquadExoSquad

This is the pinnacle of 90s cartoons as far as rare cartoons go. I would say only Batman was as good as this cartoon. This is the ultimate space opera cartoon. It shows real war with people dying, the “good guys” not always winning, racism, terrorism, megalomania, etc. It was hard to watch this cartoon because they would always air it randomly, sometimes skipping episodes. I had the same problem with Babylon 5 because my parents never had cable so I would have to guess what I had missed.

The show is the ultimate parable made on World War 2. A lot of people die and you see things like crimes against humanity and cruelty. Shocking for a publicly aired cartooon.

Anyways, this show is probably one of my highest recommended shows in GENERAL to watch of all time. I like it enough that I run the main facebook fan page for it. Fortunately for us, although the show is dead, we can see the entire show for free here at hulu.

Start watching it and don”t stop until you saw it all. Only season 1 is available on DVD because Universal doesn”t care much for this show. 🙁

Family GuyFamily Guy

This show started off in the late 90s and it”s still on the air after having been cancelled many times. Personally I think the first seasons of the show were much funnier than the current seasons, since they seem to keep changing writers all the time and lately they”ve been relying too much on recycling internet jokes. Even the writers of the show make fun of how much the show has become like their spinoff show American Dad and there was even The Cleveland Show which was just SHIT.

Anyways, everybody knows what Family Guy is. It”s as famous as The Simpsons and Futurama. If you don”t know what Family Guy is, it”s nice to finally have met a time traveler or I”m glad that you”re awake from your coma.


Here is a show that was created by Matt Groening, the creator of The Simpsons, that was superior (for geeks) to The Simpsons. The show is a LOT like Red Dwarf but even crazier because you can pretty much draw everything but Red Dwarf was limited by its budget. This show too had problems with it getting cancelled but it”s coming back again.

There are various movies of Futurama and they”re all worth watching.

The show is about this loser that gets frozen in cryogenic containment and he wakes up in the year 3000. The show is insanity having characters like the Santa Claus robot that kills everybody that”s been naughty and that means everybody. The aliens in the show are disgusting often eating garbage or they”re deadly or they”re just weird. Anyways, the loser Fry goes to work for an interstellar shipping company that”s run by an incompetent (not evil) genius Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth.

The show belongs in the comedy science fiction category alongside Red Dwarf. I highly recommend it.

King of the Hill
Men in Black: The Series
Mighty Max
Muppet Babies
Roughnecks: Starship Troopers Chronicles
Sabrina the Animated Series
South Park
Superman: The Animated Series
The Maxx
The Simpsons
The Tick
Tiny Toon Adventures

The Lobo ParaMilitary Christmas Special

The Lobo ParaMilitary Christmas Special

This is a pretty cool fan made film featuring DC Comic’s the main man, Lobo. Lobo is hired by the Easter Bunny to kill Santa Claus.


Blade vs Twilight

Twilight Blade

I can”t stand Twilight, but this video is pretty cool, pitting Blade versus those com est un guide francais entierement dedie au monde des sites de casino en ligne en ligne. sparkle vampires.

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Long live Blade! Fuck Twilight! Even Uwe Boll”s Bloodrayne is a million times better!

Top Five Star Trek Ships

Star Trek Ships

Spaceships are pretty sweet. I want one. Not just some little shuttle craft or cargo ship though – I want one of those ones that looks like a racing car version of spaceship with big guns on it. There have have been some great examples of mean-looking ships, as well as crap or even funny-looking ones in the many sci-fi shows over the years. Star Trek is without question NOT the sci-fi show with the best looking ships, but it is a fantastic show (or ‘franchise’ of shows) that at least has spaceships. There have been lots that were seen in odd episodes here and there and never seen again, but of the major players in the Star Trek universe, here are what I think are the best:

5 – Borg Cube
Borg Cube - Star Trek Ship

Yes, it’s looks pretty unremarkable in itself, but not many ships instantly strike fear into the heart like a Borg Cube! And when you’ve see one in battle, seen how huge and powerful it is, how it rips apart vessels left, right, and centre, you can’t help but be in awe of it. Until Species 8472 came along and effortlessly destroyed 15 of them, of course!


4 – Jem’Hadar Battleship
Jem Hadar Battleship - Star Trek Ship
The weird-looking junkies might be slaves but they’ve sure got some decent kit to play around with. This huge capital ship can easily slice a path through a Federation fleet without even breaking a sweat! Plus, it looks exactly like a big, scary, evil alien ship should – angry, imposing, powerful, and… cool!



3 – Klingon Bird of Prey
Bird Of Prey - Star Trek Ship
Yes it’s small, but it sure packs a mean punch. They rarely attack alone, and a fleet of them are like a swarm of locusts, nibbling away until the target is neutralised, and on many occasions in the past these targets have been some our very own Federation vessels! They look cool, have cloaking devices, and can even land on… umm… stuff. I would be happy to own one of these babies!



2 – Romulan Warbird
Romulan Warbird - Star Trek Ship
There have been a few different ones of these but the one that made its mark on me is this one, first appearing in Next Generation. It’s probably not the most efficient design, what with all the space in the middle wasted, but you don’t often see one of them in trouble in a battle! Its designers clearly wanted to stay with the Roman Empire theme and it works – when one of them decloaks, you know you’re in for an interesting time!



1 – USS Defiant
USS Defiant - Star Trek Ship
Well, they sure took their sweet time but finally the Federation creates a ship that doesn’t suck ass! I know their main interest is exploration and the wussies don’t want to upset anyone by daring to build something powerful, but would it really hurt to build a few actual warships? All those cumbersome, stupid-looking ships with saucers and sticky-outy warp nacelles… Let’s face it, they couldn’t fight their way out of a junk yard. The Defiant, however, is another story. It’s small, maneuverable, and so powerful it had to have its ‘structural integrity field’ modified just so it didn’t tear itself apart! It’s armed with normal phasers and photon torpedoes, but also has fancy new pulse phasers, quantum torpedoes and special armour, and is even equipped with a cloaking device! It was a long time coming, but finally the Federation has a ship that looks cool and can kick ass!


Fake Shadowrun TV Intro


Too bad this is fake because Shadowrun needs to make a comeback rather than die like it”s doing. Yeah, Microsoft killed it with it”s shitty XBox 360 game and FASA is long gone but a lot of people still play it, especially in Germany.

Some awesome fan of the RPG made this great intro to what would be an ideal Shadowrun television show:

The intro looks perfect and uses clips from Gamer, Judge Dredd, Johnny Mnemonic, Legend of the Fist, Natural City, Total Recall, Hackers, The Sixth Day, Strange Days, The Source Code, Free Jack, Babylon A.D, Tokyo Gore Police, Priest, Terminator Salvation, Sleep Dealer, Black Heaven, Predators, Star Trek the Undiscovered Country, Space Truckers, Hellboy, Repo Men, One Point 0 – Paranoia 1.0- Virus 1.0, Blade Runner, Caver”s Gate. The music they used was Animus Vox by The Glitch Mob.

Other than them making it, what more could you ask for? They”re actually making a Shadowrun MMO and we”ll post whatever we can when we find out more on our gaming website


Knights of Badassdom Trailer

These days we see LARPing, Ren Fairs, and cosplay getting more popular as well as showns like Game of Thrones, Spartacus, and Community. Imagine mixing all that and you’d get something like this movie, Knights of Badassdom. Check out the trailer here:

I already want to see this since it has the brilliant Peter Dinklage which I already saw as a great actor before he took over Game of Thrones.

All the guy geeks seem funny and all the girls look hot, especially the succubus they summon. I’ll watch this for sure. It has that Evil Dead kind of feel to it.

Knights of Badassdom

Top Five Clouds

Anyone who’s lazy and spends a lot of time daydreaming like me will surely love clouds. It truly is one of life’s simplest pleasures laying on some grass on a nice day, maybe with some nice relaxing music playing quietly, gazing up the various different arrangements of clouds. It’s also interesting that merely looking at them can not only tell you what the weather is like, but can also warn you of impending weather too! To that end, here is my Top Five:
5 – Noctilucent
These are the highest of all clouds and are almost beyond the extent of the atmosphere altogether! They can only be seen in high northern and southern latitudes, and even then only for a short time after the sun has disappeared below the horizon. They weren’t even discovered that long ago and there is still little known about them. Plus, they look nice 🙂
5 - Noctilucent
4 – Cirrostratus
Cirrostratus are also very high clouds which are so thin they often more resemble more of a haze than clouds in the usual sense. They are composed of ice crystals which sometimes form halos by refracting sunlight and can signal an impending rain or snow storm
4 - Cirrostratus
3 – Altocumulus
One type of Altocumulus, the Lenticular cloud, can take many unusual shapes, and have often been mistaken for flying saucers. In their more common form they can look pretty funny when seen covering the sky, for they are very small but usually in large groups resembling a flock of sheep! They also often signal the arrival of a thunderstorm.
3 - Altocumulus
2 – Cirrus
These are very high, wispy-looking clouds which are composed of ice particles. Looking out the window and seeing them generally means it’s a nice day (although not necessarily hot!). They can also cause ‘Sun Dogs’, which is a weird-looking atmospheric phenomenon not unlike the halos caused by Cirrostratus clouds, only these occur much closer to the horizon when the sun is setting or rising and cause bright spots or halos around it
2 - Cirrus
1 – Cumulonimbus
The biggest clouds you’ve ever seen are probably Cumulonimbus cloud decks, they are absolutely immense! At the largest they can span the entire height of the clouded atmosphere and they’re responsible for near enough all major weather, be that torrential rains, severe winds, thunderstorms, lightning, hail, and can even turn into supercells. Also, they look like an Independence Day ship will appear from them. Eeek!
1 - Cumulonimbus

HBO’s Real-Life Superheroes Documentary

HBO's Real-Life SUPERHEROES Documentary

If you haven’t had the chance you need to check out HBO’s latest documentary on real-life superheroes. Currently there are over 300 registered masked superheroes patrolling the streets in the United States and HBO interviewed and went on patrol with a number of them in their documentary series that aired yesterday.

Here is a trailer.

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Top Five Moons

Astonomy is another of my many hobbies, it’s something I find confusing (not having a degree in astrophysics and all) but fascinating nonetheless. So, following on from the recently-touched-upon-theme, I thought I’d try another nonsensical, but hopefully informative Top Five! Hardly what any of you come here for, I know, but I hope some of you might find something of interest here. Let me know if you like it and maybe I’ll occasionally do a few more posts like this… 🙂

5 – Luna

I guess I should include this one purely as it’s our own barren, insignificant little rock. It’s the second brightest object in our sky (and can help when walking through dark, spooky places at night) despite actually being very dark, and in a curious quirk of fate it always has the same side facing us, but aside from a few little tit-bits it’s pretty unremarkable. But hey, without it we would have a very different planet and no eclipses!
4 – Miranda
4 - Miranda
This small satellite of Uranus is very interesting from a geological point of view. It was apparently once a Luna-like moon before a smaller, but still not insignificantly-sized object like a moon or asteroid smashed into it, with the resulting colossal explosion shattering the entire moon into pieces before eventually, over many thousands of years, it gradually coalesced into the scarred, patchwork-like moon we know today. All over it are strange geological features that seem out of place and other parts seem to be at right angles to each other. Hope that doesn’t happen again closer to us!
3 – Europa
3 - Europa
One of the large Galilean satellites of Jupiter, Europa is most notable at this stage for what it may be home to. That is… life! Smooth and practically devoid of craters, a thin oxygen atmosphere clings to a surface which is almost entirely covered by ice, riddled with cracks, streaks, and ice-like patterns. It is widely believed, however, that under this layer of ice lies an ocean of warm liquid water which may contain primitive life forms! Let’s hope an impending mission to it reveals some startling truths!

2 – Titan

2 - Titan
The largest of Saturn’s moons and second largest moon in the whole solar system, Titan is unique for being the only natural satellite in the solar system with its own thick atmosphere. So thick in fact, that any details regarding its surface were a mystery until the Cassini-Huygens mission reached it in 2004. What it found was the only large, stable bodies of surface liquid know outside of Earth, in this case consisting of hydrocarbons. Here, it is theorised, life-forms could exist. Titan also has seasons and Earth-like weather including wind and rain, resulting in surface features such as dunes, rivers, lakes, etc. For these and other reasons, Titan is considered the most Earth-like body in the solar system. Plus, if it was visible, imagine the sight Saturn would make in its night sky…

1 – Io

1 - Io
Another of Jupiter’s Galilean moons, Io is closer to Jupiter than Europa and this added proximity has had a dramatic effect on its surface conditions – it’s covered in hundreds of constantly errupting volcanoes! Friction caused by being pulled between Jupiter and the other Galilean moons, coupled with Jupiter’s immense gravity constantly squeezing it, causes intense internal heating and the resultant volcanoes, some of which eject plumes of sulphur hundreds of miles high. This poor old moon is the most geologically active body in the solar system and is effectively being resurfaced every few years!

Top 5 Moments in Austin Powers

Spoof movies… you either love them or hate them. Well, except me – I love some and hate others! Being subjected to travesties like the Scary Movie series, Date/Epic/Disaster etc Movie, even the recent Vampires Suck, is a trauma that’s hard to recover from, and one that continually threatens to destroy my love of the movie-making business altogether. Even accidentally viewing part of a trailer for one of them can be a horrifying experience, but when they’re done right, by genuinely talented people, they can be movies of comedic genius, and the movie world is filled with potential candidates.

James Bond films are generally fantastic entertainment, but they are also one of the candidates mentioned that are particularly ripe for spoofing, especially the earlier films. To be honest I’m surprised it took so long, but the combined talents of Mike Myers and Jay Roach did eventually bring us the highly amusing shagathon featured here, which not only represents the birth of the (soon to be ‘rebooted’) series, but which also remains the best film in the series. Well, in my opinion, anyway! As with the film featured in my first Top Five Movie Moments, choosing the five best moments from this film was tough, particularly as many of the gags are visual, but here are my choices:

Spoiler Alert: the Top Five Movie Moments featured here obviously assume that you’ve seen the film in question or don’t mind knowing about its most prominent moments so don’t come whining to me if they ruin a film that you haven’t seen yet!

5… “We’ll Hold The World Ransom For…”

Austin Powers - Movie Screenshot

Recently thawed from cryogenic freeze, Dr. Evil wastes no time in ridding himself of surplus henchmen, including the indestructible Mustafa (Will Ferrell). After job number one is out of the way, job number two: hold the world hostage…
Dr. Evil: “Gentlemen, I have a plan. It’s called blackmail. The Royal Family of Britain are the wealthiest landowners in the world. Either the Royal Family pays us an exorbitant amount of money, or we make it seen that Prince Charles has had an affair outside of marriage and therefore would have to divorce!” (much maniacal laughing ensues)
Number Two: “Prince Charles did have an affair. He admitted it, and they are now divorced.”
Dr. Evil: “Right, people you have to tell me these things, okay? I’ve been frozen for thirty years, okay? Throw me a frickin’ bone here! I’m the boss! Need the info.”
Dr. Evil: “Okay no problem. Here’s my second plan. Back in the 60’s, I had a weather changing machine that was, in essence, a sophisticated heat beam which we called a “laser.” Using these “lasers,” we punch a hole in the protective layer around the Earth, which we scientists call the “Ozone Layer.” Slowly but surely, ultraviolet rays would pour in, increasing the risk of skin cancer. That is unless the world pays us a hefty ransom.” (more maniacal laughing)
Number Two: (pause) “That also already has happened.”
Dr. Evil: “Shit. Oh hell, let’s just do what we always do. Hijack some nuclear weapons and hold the world hostage. Yeah? Good! Gentlemen, it has come to my attention that a breakaway Russian Republic called Kreplachistan will be transferring a nuclear warhead to the United Nations in a few days. Here’s the plan. We get the warhead and we hold the world ransom for… ONE MILLION DOLLARS!”
Number Two: “Don’t you think we should ask for *more* than a million dollars? A million dollars isn’t exactly a lot of money these days. Virtucon alone makes over 9 billion dollars a year!”
Dr. Evil: “Really? That’s a lot of money.”
Dr. Evil: “Okay then, we hold the world ransom for… One… Hundred… BILLION DOLLARS!”
(much more maniacal laughing)


4… “Not a time to lose one’s head”

Austin Powers - Movie Screenshot

After being captured by Dr. Evil, Austin and Vanessa are sent off to be killed by some ‘ill-tempered, mutated, sea bass’. It’s not long, however, before they manage to overpower the henchman sent to oversea their excution, and accidentally get him decapitated. Austin’s reaction?
Austin: “Not the time to lose one’s head.”
Vanessa: “No.”
Austin: “That’s not the way to get ahead in life.”
Vanessa: “No.”
Austin: “It’s a shame he wasn’t more headstrong.”
Vanessa: “Hmm.”
Austin: “He’ll never be the head of a major corporation.”
Vanessa: “Okay, that’ll do.”
Austin: “Okay.”


3… Three-Point Turn?

Austin Powers - Movie Screenshot

After infiltrating Dr. Evil’s super underground lair posing as tourists, it’s not long before Austin and Vanessa leave the tour and start snooping around. They soon comandeer a electric baggage cart thing and drive down a long tunnel before parting ways. Eager to return the way he came, Austin tries to perform a three-point turn with the cart only to find it’s almost exactly the same width as the tunnel, meaning it might be a bit more than a three-point turn! Yes, it’s a visual gag which doesn’t really work with words and a still image, but it’s so funny (in my opinion, at least) I had to include it!


2… “That’s Not Mine!”

Austin Powers - Movie Screenshot

After being unfrozen from cryogenic freeze to stop the newly re-emerged Dr. Evil’s plans for world domination, Austin is debriefed before having his personal effects returned, accompanied by new sidekick Vanessa…
Clerk: “Personal effects, Danger Powers”
Austin: “Actually my name’s Austin Powers”
Clerk: “It says here, name: Danger Power”
Austin: “No, no, no, no, no” (looks at Vanessa) “Danger’s my middle name.”
Clerk: “Okay, Austin Danger Powers… one blue crushed velvet suit…”
Austin: “Hey, all right”
Clerk: “One frilly lace cravat…”
Austin: “There it is”
Clerk: “One silver medallion with ‘male’ symbol…”
(Austin looks at Vanessa seductively)
Clerk: “One pair of Italian boots”
Austin: “Buon giorno boys”
Clerk: “One vinyl record album: Burt Bacharach Plays His Hits”
Austin: “Hey Burt!”
Clerk: “One Swedish-made penis enlarger pump”
Austin: (to Vanessa) “That’s not mine!”
Clerk: “One credit card receipt for Swedish-made penis enlarger… signed by Austin Powers”
Austin: “I’m telling ya baby, that’s not mine!”
Clerk: “One warranty card for Swedish-made penis enlarger pump… filled out by Austin Powers.”
Austin: “I don’t even know what this is! This sort of thing ain’t my bag, baby”
Clerk: “One book, “Swedish-made Penis Enlargers And Me: This Sort of Thing Is My Bag Baby”, by Austin Powers.”
Austin: “Ah…”

1… The Opening

Austin Powers - Movie Screenshot

Some films have mysterious openings with a hint of intrigue to hook you into watching more. Others, like Austin Powers, let you know immediately what sort of film you’re in store for, and then some! The ludicrously over-the-top song and dance number portraying Austin as the grooviest swinger the world has ever seen is just right in its attempts to let you see just who he is and how others react to him. Filmed in American streets that the film makers have purposely made a half-arsed effort to look English (by adding a couple of London buses, red phone boxes, and of course, a typical English bobby), this fantastic sequence is arguably the best moment of the film! The sequels maybe tried a bit too hard to best it, so this remains the best in my view…

The Commonplace Book Project

Lovecraft-Shadow OverInnsmouth

H.P. Lovecraft with all his unspeakable horrors, indescribable oddities and non-euclidean angles never really helped any visual artists, uhh, visualize his stories and -apparently- that”s one of the reasons many -mostly Cthulhu– HPL inspired games failed to capture that distinctly Lovecraftian atmosphere and/or cosmic horror. The fact, mind you, that most of his protagonist were on the asthmatic academic side of humanity didn”t help with the necessary video game action bit either.

Interactive fiction (text-adventures) and HPL”s kind of horror, on the other hand, seem like a match made in a particularly tentacled heaven. Don”t believe me? Why, better try the excellent freeware and see what I mean. Good writing, vaguely described ominous things and interactivity, without the distraction of anavoidably underwhelming visuals, make for quite an experience. And atmospheric horror too of course. Problem is such games are rather rare and The Lurking Horror is almost ancient history.

Enter the Illuminated Lantern, interactive fiction publishers extraordinaire, creators of the award winning and driving force behind the Commonplace Book Project. The purpose of said project is both simple and frankly quite noble: create interactive adventures based on the unfinished story ideas that H.P. Lovecraft collected in his “Commonplace Book”. The first seven games (including Dead Cities, Ecdysis, The Cellar and the Handyman Wanted point-and-clicker) have already been made available and are ready to provide you with hours of relatively disturbing entertainment. For free. Hip, hip…

Oh, and Windows users will probably have to download the excellent and very freeware Gargoyle interactive fiction player. Possibly even have a look at a beginner”s guide to interactive fiction.

Adrian Smith’s Art

Adrian Smith‘s art needs no introduction, it only asks for bandwidth. Thus, this being a post on Adrian Smith’s art, it’s picture heavy, but words light. In case you’d like to find out more on Mr. Smith, you’d better visit his official website. Or flick through a certain Games Workshop book.

Now, look at the pretty pictures…


Warhammer artwork:

Adrian Smith Artwork

Adrian Smith Artwork
Warhammer 40,000:

Adrian Smith ArtworkAdrian Smith Artwork

Black Library artwork:
Adrian Smith Artwork


Inquisitor artwork:
Adrian Smith ArtworkAdrian Smith Artwork


Sabertooth Games artwork:
Adrian Smith Artwork


Chronopia Artwork:

Adrian Smith ArtworkAdrian Smith Artwork

Top Five Movie Moments: Part 1

#1 – Goodfellas

Hello and welcome to another new Red Parsley feature! I love retro videogames but they aren’t the only thing I love. In fact, I’ve probably spent more of my time watching films that I have playing games! So, rather than do an in-depth review of some older films that are already well known, I thought I’d instead present what are to me their greatest moments, whether it’s a brilliant moment of acting, a jaw-dropping special effects sequence, some pant-wettingly funny dialogue, or anything else. I hope you like it! 🙂

My good friend, Luke, and I greatly enjoy gangster/mob type films. There are several directors who excel in the area, but one of the contenders for best must surely be Martin Scorsese’s adaption of Nicholas Pileggi’s novel. This amazing movie is surely a contender for greatest ever gangster film and is chock full of brilliantly memorable moments, so picking just five is a tall order, but here are my choices:

Spoiler Alert: the Top Five Movie Moments featured here obviously assume that you’ve seen the film in question or don’t mind knowing about its most prominent moments so don’t come whining to me if they ruin a film that you haven’t seen yet!

5… “You broke your cherry!”


After Henry gets pinched for selling ‘jacked cigarettes, it’s not facing his parents that scares him – it’s facing Paulie and the rest of his crew. Presuming they’ll all be mad with him for getting caught, their actual reaction brings home to him just how different life in his new family is, and he likes it!
Jimmy: “Here’s your graduation present” (slips some money in Henry’s pocket)
Henry: “What for? I got pinched”
Jimmy: “Everybody gets pinched, but you did it right. You told them nothing and they got nothing”
Henry: “I thought you’d be mad”
Jimmy: “Mad? I’m not mad with you, I’m proud of you. You took your first pinch like a man and you learnt two greatest things in your life. Look at me, never rat on your friends and always keep your mouth shut”
(walks through the doors to find Paulie and the rest of the crew gathered)
Paulie: “Ohhh, you broke your cherry!”
(much hugging and merriment ensues)
4… “Freeze!”


After a busy day running errands all around the city and growing increasingly paranoid about the helicopter that’s been ‘following’ him, Henry’s nearing the point where he can finally relax and enjoy his long-awaited dinner with his family. Before he can do that though, he has one last trip to make. Getting in his car, he starts to pull out of his driveway before he notices some sort of commotion. Then, a gun is thrust towards his head…
Cop: “Freeze!”
Henry’s Voiceover: “For a second I thought I was dead. But, when I heard all the noise, I knew they were cops. Only cops talk that way. If they’d been wiseguys, I wouldn’t have heard a thing. I would’ve been dead”
And then as abruptly as that, the ride is over. The life Henry loves has come to an end, and he has a very difficult decision to make: life in jail, or break the biggest rule his way of life has – talk…


3… “As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a gangster”



Henry’s been enjoying his new job at the cabstand so much he’s started skipping school. His crew have to deal with the mailman to stop any more letters from the truant officer reaching his home, but he’s not been asked to do anything of note. He’s mostly been running small errands, parking cars and suchlike. Then, he’s asked to help Tuddy get rid of some competition. He’s asked to do something important for his new friends, and he doesn’t hesitate…
Henry’s Voiceover: “People looked at me differently, they knew I was with somebody. I didn’t have to wait in line at the bakery on Sunday mornings anymore for fresh bread. The owner knew who I was with and he would come around the counter no matter how many people were waiting, I was taken care of first. Our neighbours didn’t park in our driveway anymore even though we didn’t have a car. At 13, I was making more money than most of the grown-ups in the neighbourhood. I mean, I had more money than I could spend. I had it all. One day some of the kids from the neighbourhood carried my mother’s groceries all the way home. You know why? It was outta respect.”

2… The opening

The Opening

Goodfellas was pretty much the first gangster film I’d seen so I didn’t really know what to expect. I was pretty young (and probably too young to be watching the 18-rated film!), so to see an opening as explosive as this one was genuinely shocking and really set the mood for what was to follow.
(Henry, Jimmy, and Tommy are driving along a quiet country road at night. Some bumping noises can be heard)


Henry: “What the fuck is that? Jimmy, did I hit something?”
Tommy: “What is that? Did we get a flat?”
Henry: “Wha… No…”
Tommy: “What the fuck? You better pull over and see”
(They move around toward the rear of the car. The noises are coming from the trunk. Tommy draws a large knife. They cautiously approach and open it. The sight that greets us is a bloody, beaten body, trying to move)
Billy: (struggling to talk) “No, no, no Tommy, no…”
Tommy: “He’s still alive, fucking piece of shit…”
Tommy: (begins plunging his knife into Billy)”DIE, DIE, DIE…”
(Jimmy fires four shots into the trunk from his pistol…)
1… “Funny How?”

Funny How

Henry: “You’re a pistol, you’re really funny. You’re really funny.”
Tommy: “What do you mean I’m funny?”
Henry: “It’s funny, you know. It’s a good story, it’s funny, you’re a funny guy.” (laughs)
Tommy: “What do you mean, you mean the way I talk? What?”
Henry: “It’s just, you know. You’re just funny, it’s… funny, the way you tell the story and everything.”
Tommy: (it becomes quiet) “Funny how? What’s funny about it?”
Anthony: “Tommy no, You got it all wrong.”
Tommy: “Oh, oh, Anthony. He’s a big boy, he knows what he said. What did ya say? Funny how?”
Henry: “Jus…”
Tommy: “What?”
Henry: “Just… ya know… you’re funny.”
Tommy: “You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it’s me, I’m a little fucked up maybe, but I’m funny how, I mean funny like I’m a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I’m here to fuckin’ amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?”
Henry: “Just… you know, how you tell the story, what?”
Tommy: “No, no, I don’t know, you said it. How do I know? You said I’m funny. How the fuck am I funny, what the fuck is so funny about me? Tell me, tell me what’s funny!”
Henry: (long pause) “Get the fuck out of here, Tommy!”
Tommy: (everyone laughs) “Ya motherfucker! I almost had him, I almost had him. Ya stuttering prick ya. Frankie, was he shaking? I wonder about you sometimes, Henry. You may fold under questioning.”
It’s a testament to Joe Pesci’s acting skills that he not only ‘had’ Henry, but also ‘had’ all of us watching too! How he can go from group clown one moment to genuinely chilling gets me every time I watch it!

So, that’s my Top Five! Like I said, it was very hard to pick just five great moments from this consistently brilliant film. There are so many more… The posties head getting shoved in the oven, Henry pistol-whipping ‘the guy across the street’, the amazing tracking shot through the restaurant kitchen, Tommy’s getting made ceremony, Jimmy’s clean up job at the end of the film, and so many more, even Jimmy Two Times (“I’m gonna go get the papers get the papers”)…
So I hope you liked the first of my Top Five Movie Moments. Let me know what you think. Would you like to see more or are you happy deciding what parts of films you like yourself? Maybe I could even take requests! Thanks for reading! 🙂

Wikileaks Stories: Interactive Fiction

knight orc
I am fully aware of the fact that you, yes, you oh treacherous reader, believe that I have forgotten all about that, excellent if I may so myself, Wikileaks Stories project. Well, I haven”t. I”ve been working on that text adventure (interactive fiction) game pretty much non-stop, though not necessarily as intensively I should have. The main problem has so far been that I”m neither an experienced designer of digital ludic pleasures, nor a particularly competent programmer. The relative lack of time is thus only a minor drawback.
Thing is, I may have more or less gotten to understand how Inform 7 works and have even managed to build some rudimentary example games, but I have so far miserably failed to come up with a basic design for the adventure. Actually, I”ve come up with four of the things, each one fixing on the previous ones problems and radically changing the game”s structure. Apparently making a playable story about a real event isn”t the easiest thing, though I do believe I”ve found a way to subtly integrate the necessary plot bits, while making for a hopefully enjoyable adventure. Provided things work out fine, this still unnamed project should be ready within a month or too. Expect further updates here.
On the wider Wikileaks Stories front, things are going rather well. Molleindustria has already released the pretty excellent Leaky World, Jonas KyratzesYou Shall Know the Truth is almost ready and quite a few still-unannounced contributions are steadily progressing. Oh, and being totally unrealistic, I think I”ll have a second, rather more humorous and already -roughly- designed, Wikileaks Story ready within the year too.
Frankly, reader, you should give us a hand too. Spread the word or, better yet, try coming up with something yourself. There really is no rush. Wikileaks keeps fighting for democracy, while revealing new and important stories that have to be made widely known. To help you out and further motivate you, we have already compiled lists of both and Wikileaks resources.

Toy Train Tycoon


Here I am letting you know all about the progress of the model/electric train diorama, that will hopefully sometime evolve into the official coffee table of the non-virtual, strictly analog and rather comfy version of Inverted Paradox. Well, progress has been made. The wooden basis of the thing has already arrived, the table’s frame has been designed and ordered, a ton of miscellaneous stuff has been bought, ideas have been discussed and -finally- its actual construction has began. Things initially looked like this:

Toy Train Tycoon 1

Slightly chaotic, but -trust me- it could have been worse. Anyway, after deciding that using all those train pieces would simply be over the top, the very WIP diorama has been arranged into what can only be described as a first draft:

Toy Train Tycoon 2

And here’s a zoomed in look at the station. Nice, innit? Watch this space for further developments. They wont be shocking or anything, but I sincerely do hope they’ll be quite interesting for you game-loving people.

Toy Train Tycoon 3


Eriq Chang Art

Eriq Chang - Kings Quest 3 Art
Stunningly beautiful pictures, aren”t they? Well, better thank Eriq Chang for being brilliantly creative in all sorts of ways and -of course- for being generous enough to let us glimpse both his studio and the creative process taking place there. And in case you hadn”t noticed, you are indeed looking at art and the game”s official poster. To actually grab said poster better have a look .
Eriq Chang - Kings Quest 3 ArtEriq Chang - Kings Quest 3 ArtEriq Chang - Kings Quest 3 Art

The History of the Swastika

swastika meanings

There are few symbols in history that bring out as much emotion as the swastika. Forever tied to one of the darkest times in human history the swastika for many stands as a symbol of hate. However, this symbol’s past goes back farther than the Nazi party it has more recently been attached to; since 10,000 BC, the swastika has been used in Hindu, Buddhist, Native American, ancient Iranian, Greek, Chinese, Japanese, and countless other cultures and religions throughout recorded history. In part two of the three-part series on the history of symbols we explore the origins and uses of the swastika throughout the world.

A Forgotten Meaning

Even after sixty-two years since the end of World War II the swastika is seen as a symbol of hate and racism. From the young to the old this symbol has been defined and will most likely remain defined in this manner for a long time to come. The word swastika is derived from the Sanskrit svastika meaning any lucky or auspicious object.  Composed of su- meaning “good or well” and asti, a verbal abstract to the root such as “to be” the suffix –ka intensifies the verbal meaning of beneficial which can be translated to “that which is associated with well-being” what one would consider a lucky charm.

swastika meanings

Origins of Light

Long before times of modern history, the swastika has been and still is a part of many religions and cultures throughout the world. In Hinduism the two symbols that create the swastika represent the forms of the creator god Brahma. It is considered extremely holy and auspicious by all Hindus and can be found in many places and items associated with Hindu culture including clothing, buildings and letterheads.

In Buddhism the symbol has been used in art and scripture since the 5th century BC. Known in Japanese as a manji, it represents Dharma, universal harmony and the balance of opposites.  Jainism considers the swastika one of the twenty-four auspicious marks and the emblem of the seventh arhat of the present age. It is a symbol of the seventh Jina (Saint) and all Jain temples and holy books must contain the swastika and ceremonies typically begin and end with creating a swastika mark several times with rice around the altar.

The symbol is also used by many other religions throughout the world, in some cases the symbol has been replaced or abandoned altogether. Many religions that are no longer practiced used the swastika as a symbol of balance or harmony and believed it brought good luck. Still today the symbol remains part of many religions despite the more mainstream views of its meaning.

swastika meanings

Redefined in Darkness

As a symbol of Nazism the swastika or hooked cross was used on the Nazi Party’s flags, badges and armbands from as far back as 1920.  Combined with the colors found on the flag of the old German Empire, Hitler believed the swastika represented the mission of the struggle for the victory of the Aryan man. The use of the swastika was associated by Nazi theorists with their conjecture of Aryan cultural descent of the German people.

The Nazis claimed that the early Aryans of India were the prototypical invaders. Following the Nordicist versions of Aryan invasion theory it was widely believed that the Indian caste system which believed in the ranking of members in a society by occupational status and degree of purity or pollution as determined by their birth, they believed was the basis concept for racial purity and cause to avoid racial mixing.

With the Nazis belief in racial superiority and their anti-Semitic views the use of the swastika became a symbol of the goal to create a world where their view of a master race would be dominant.  Because of its use during world war two and being associated with the holocaust, the swastika is prohibited from being show in Germany considered illegal and punishable except for scholarly reasons.

swastika meanings

Adaption’s and Influences

While banned in Germany except for education purposes the swastika or images of the like are still used today in various forms of media influenced by the events surrounded the symbols use by the Nazi Party during World War II. One such adaptation of the symbol can be found during the 1983 mini-series V. The story surrounded an alien race disguised as humans who planned to steal all of earth’s water and harvest human beings as food. The red and black uniforms and the swastika-like emblem was a Nazi allegory.

The symbol has also been used in animation in its traditional and redesigned shapes usually as a mark of shame or servitude or as a seal locking away a good or evil presence within a human being. Most of the western uses of the swastika are to reinforce its redefinition as a symbol of hate. Beyond that there are many hate groups active today who use the symbol in the Nazi interpretation of racial supremacy.

swastika meanings

A Global Symbol

Darkness or light, oppression or well-being, saints or sinners the swastika is a symbol known throughout the world in many different ways. Revered in many cultures by millions, despised by millions in others, it is one of the most widely know symbols on earth. Another symbol shares a sometimes reverse reception in the modern world. While it is wildly accepted that most in the western world look upon the swastika in a negative light, the cross is looked upon mostly in the positive.  This however can also be debated with some segments of the global population.

The Flaming C Returns

The Flaming C.

Conan created an awesome superhero based on himself called, The Flaming C. It is made by Warner Brothers Animation Studios, the same people who made the Batman Animated Series, Batman Beyond, Justice League, and Young Justice.

Top Five Ugliest Cars

Tata Nano

Tata Nano
Created by Indian company, Tata, the Nano is currently the cheapest car in the world to buy brand new. As you might imagine, it’s specs reflect that, with a 624cc engine which generates a mere 35bhp, and it only has the absolute minimum of interior features. The boot doesn’t even open – it has to be accessed from inside the car! All this is understandable for its price though, but did they really have to make it look so hideous?
Fiat Multipla
Fiat Multipla
Good old Fiat. They’re never ones to make conventional-looking vehicles, are they? I guess they’re relying on the old “Oh, it’s Italian, it must be artistic!” cliche. Well sorry Fiat, but this offering is a monstrosity! What’s with the bit under the windscreen? Granted, the second-generation model looks a lot nicer and does away with this weird bit but still! This version regularly appears on ‘ugly car’ polls and with good reason – the Multipla is a MultiFAIL!

Ford Ka

Ford Ka
I was a bit surprised when I first saw this stupid thing from Ford. Their cars are usually decent enough, if unspectacular, but this pretentiously-named ‘Ka’ (definitely NOT pronounced the same as ‘Car’ by me) looks like a wedge of cheese balanced on marbles! The ‘Sport’ Ka and ‘Street’ Ka (both all of 93bhp) look even more annoying. Like the Fiat, however, the new version of the Ka is a vast improvement.
Citroen 2CV
Citroen 2CV
This post-WW2 designed car was a monument to minimalism, and very typically French. It’s practicality is to be begrudgingly respected but as a modern car it’s just ridiculous! The headlights stick out on little stalks, the roof is a bit of cloth that you can push back, the wheels are about 2 inches wide, the windows don’t open but instead fold in half… It’s just such a horrible little car. It was orginially designed as an “umbrella on wheels” to take French farmers to market and back. You know what? They should’ve kept it to themselves!


Smart car
Well, after many, many years as my most hated car, if the Citroen 2CV was ever to be toppled from its lofty perch, it would take something very special. So step forward… Mercedes? How can the designers of some of the automobile world’s finest vehicles be responsible for this… I can’t even find the words to describe it! This… affront to all that exists! But yes, sadly it’s true. Mercedes, in collaboration with Swatch (they of weird wristwatches) unveiled this in 1998 and the world has been a worse place since. If aliens made first contact with Humans, out of all the things in the world, out of all the things we’ve been responsible for, this pathetic thing is what I’d be most embarrassed by. Plus, if you crash in one at speed, you’re screwed!


Top 5 Planets

Its atmosphere has constant lightning and is so dense the first few Venera probes sent by the Russians were crushed before reaching the ground, and the ones that managed to land unscathed only lasted an hour or so before melting, there is sulphuric acid rain, the entire surface of the planet features evidence of volcanic activity, and the entire planet leaves a tail behind it in space, much like a comet, due to the Sun’s solar wind! Oh, and it looks like a really bright star from here…
Because it has rings, of course! Oh, and it’s got such a low density it would float in water (if there was a bowl big enough)…


One reason could be Olympus Mons, a volcano three times higher than Mount Everest, and over 500 km wide at its base. Another could be Valles Marineris (see picture), an immense canyon 4000 km long (compared with the Grand Canyon on Earth at 446 km). But let’s face it – the main reason is because it has Martians!
The largest and most diverse of the terrestrial planets, and home to many natural wonders of amazing beauty, and many species of plant and animal life. Unfortunately the dominant species is an ignorant, self-destructive, and irresponsible one which is slowly destroying the aforementioned natural beauty in the name of comfort and convenience. Would be in the number one spot were it not for them…


What else? The gargantuan Jupiter is two and a half times as massive as all the other planets in the Solar System combined, has such immense gravity that it ‘squeezes’ its nearest large moon, Io, causing constant volcanic eruptions (and also stopped the asteroids inside its orbit from coelescing into a fifth terrestrial planet), has such an enormous magnetic field that, if visible from Earth, would make it appear as large as the Sun, despite being over five times further away, has a moon bigger than some planets (coughMercurycough), has its own (though lesser known) ring system, and of course… The Great Red Spot! A hurricane-like storm three times bigger than Earth that has already lasted for hundreds of years! Yeah!

My Top 5 Candy Bars

Candy Bar wallpaper
After a brief hiatus, I have recently regained my enthusiasm for eating lush chocolate bars and have been eating far too many lately. To that end, however, here is my top five:

5: Caramac

Caramac - Candy Bar
A long, thin, caramal flavoured bar, this isn’t strictly speaking a chocolate bar, but retains its status thus on account of its size, shape, and the fact that it’s sold alongside all the more traditional bars. Caramacs have become increasingly rare, at least near me, and those that have been found appear to lost the bargain price tag they once held. Nonetheless, they remain a delightfully sweet snack. I wish they’d bring back the yellow foil wrapper though…


Wispa - Candy Bar
Once one of the most popular chocolate bars around, the Wispa seemed to mysteriously vanish from our shelves sometime in the 90’s. So steathily done, was it, that I can’t even remember when. Appearing around the same time, Cadbury’s Dairy Milk Bubbly, in essence the same thing, just wasn’t the same, and such has been the clamour for the return of the Wispa (an internet campaign, amongst other things), it was formally reintroduced in 2007. And all rejoiced.

3: Chocolate Cream

Chocolate Cream - Candy Bar
One of the oldest chocolate bars still available, Fry’s Chocolate Creams are available in three flavours – plain, peppermint, and orange. None of them has ever been common, and that remains the case today. The plain version (pictured) is the most common, but any opportunity to pick up an orange or peppermint flavoured chocolate cream should be seized immediately too. All are made with dark chocolate around a fondant centre, and there apparently used to be other flavours such as pineapple and strawberry. I want to try them. 🙁

2: Topic

Topic - Candy Bar
Proclaimed in a series of adverts to “have a hazlenut in every bite”, the Topic’s sold these days must surely adhere to this slogan, for over the years, I swear Topic’s have been getting smaller and smaller (except in price, of course). Now barely three RKS-size bites in size, they remain ultra-lush, but their profile has fallen far since the days of national TV adverts and I fear they will disappear altogether in the not-too-distant future, so eat them while you can!

1: Starbar

Starbar - Candy Bar
And the winner, for a long time my favourite, the mighty Star Bar! One of the few chocolate bars to have a cult following (complete with dedicated fan website!), this caramel, crisped-rice, and peanut-filled beauty is fairly pricey for its size, but is worth every penny.


Chokito - Candy Bar

Plus, an honourable mention goes to this tasty little snack I discovered on my first trip to Brazil. The Chokito is a crispy rice and caramel fudge flavoured bar availble in both milk and white chocolate varieties. My subsequent trips to Brazil have involved a great deal of Chokito consumption…


5 Harem Animes You Might Enjoy


Release Date: 2007
Episodes: 23
Sequel: Clannad After Story


Demon King Daimao
Release Date: 2010
Episodes: 12
Sequel: N/A


Nyan Koi!
Release Date: 2009
Episodes: 12
Sequel: N/A


Release Date: 2008
Episodes: 12
Sequel: Sekirei ~Pure Engagement~
Release Date: 2005
Episodes: 24
Sequel: Shuffle! Memories