Humor

Castlevania: Symphony of the Night gave me a boner

Alright, not really, but after playing through the game again I did realize how much semi-nudity is in the game so let’s just go with that.

Diplocephalus

Castlevania - Symphony of the Night - Diplocephalus
She believes in protection and by protection I mean Holy Water.

I believe this creature was created after someone went on a blind OKCupid date and was fooled by a MySpace angle. This creature is easy to beat and has an attractive upper body and a horrible monster for a lower body. When you hit her and kill her, she turns and moons you and you realize baby’s got back.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6fkbD1pl0cY[/youtube]

Venus Weed

Castlevania - Symphony of the Night - Venus Weed
She is wondering why everyone is staring.

My vagina is a flower, an eccentric tulip, the center acute and deep, the scent delicate, the petals gentle but sturdy.

Ya, now you know where they got that from. This is how Poison Ivy sleeps, in the nude and apparently, this creature drinks human blood so it must be someone’s wife. Am I right folks?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DVB1VsfKimk[/youtube]

Salome

Castlevania - Symphony of the Night - Salome
She does not sweep with that broom

All your goth and bewitched fantasies all rolled into one. This young female witch turns into a cat when you weaken it and you know I love pussy…cats.

Hunting Girl

Castlevania - Symphony of the Night - Hunting Girl
Look at that pose, yeah, she wants it.

This is for the voyeur in all of us. This is for the guys who use to try and watched porn on a scrambled cable feed. Sure, you can’t really see what Hunting Girl looks like, but she looks like she has a hot frame and those poses she does when you hit her…uh… I just realized this sounds like something that can end me up in prison.

Castlevania Symphony of the Night is one of those games you will play over and over forever and the more you play the more weird things you will take notice of. So did I miss any strangely hot monsters from the game, besides succubus that is which is a given.

 

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J.A. Laraque

J.A. Laraque is a freelance writer and novelist. His passion for writing mixed with a comedic style and intelligent commentary has brought him success in his various endeavors. Whatever the subject, J.A. has an opinion on it and will present it in writing with an insight and flair that is both refreshing and informative.

One thought on “Castlevania: Symphony of the Night gave me a boner

  • How could you leave out the Salem Witch?

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