The Top Cartoons From The 1990s

This list includes every cartoon I thought was great or totally amazing that started airing or were super popular in the 1990s. Let”s go over all of them in alphabetical order!

Aeon FluxAeon Flux

This was a really weird science fiction cartoon that was showed on MTV”s Liquid Television in the early 1990s. The show was about Aeon Flux, a female secret agent that was mixed up in a lot of conspiracies, a war with a neighboring country, assassinations, betrayal, cloning, and a bunch of other crazy plots. The entire cartoon was a complete mind fuck.

The feeling this show gave me was similar to the feeling I get from the Paranoia RPG and Brazil. Pretty much, it”s a totally fucked up distopian future where you are either a drone or you are involved in sinister greater forces that control and rule everything and keep everyone oppressed. Life is cheap and everybody is replaceable.

The way this cartoon was drawn and the bizarre style of it reminded me a lot of the comics that would come out in Heavy Metal magazine. A lot like the style of those weird french graphic novels from the 80s and 90s.

There aren”t a lot of episodes of this show. I remember renting the whole show on VHS back when those existed, so you have an idea how short it is.

There was a live action movie that was a remake of the show. It was okay. Most people either liked it or flat out hated it.


This was Steven Spielberg”s next cartoon character after having made the hugely successful Tiny Toon Adventures. The show was like watching a cartoon version of The Marx Brothers. The entire cartoon was about two brothers and a sister going around trolling everybody they met. The show also introduced Pinky And The Brain, a cartoon that was about an idiot mouse that is always trying to help a super genius mouse “try to take over the world!” The Brain sounded a lot like Orson Welles. Pink And The Brain were probably my favorite characters from the show.

The main storyline for this insane show was that Yakko, Wakko, and Dot were 1930s cartoons characters that got trapped in the water tower of the Warner Bros Studios and were finally released to mess with the world in the 1990s. There were other sketches with other characters such as The Goodfeathers. The Goodfeathers were a parody of the gangsters from the movie Goodfellas except that they were a bunch of pigeons. They were great, even impersonating Joe Pesci”s characters that usually go ape shit over everything. There was also Slappy Squirrel which was a bitter old cartoon character that would put people in their place while trying to teach those values to her nephew Skippy Squirrel.

Batman BeyondBatman Beyond

Think Batman meets cyberpunk Shadowrun and this is pretty much what the show is. It”s set in the future. Bruce Wayne is old, has heart conditions, and is slowly dying. Everybody that Bruce Wayne worked with either hates him or is dead. What ends up happening is that Bruce Wayne can no longer be Batman. For a while he”s already used a power armor kind of Batsuit but even that doesn”t prevent him from having heart attacks while fighting crime. So… some kid that has a situation like Bruce gets picked up to be the next Batman.

The show is almost not even a kids show as people (rarely) die in this show but at least there is death. If you are a fan of the other Batman cartoons then you need to follow the chain of history by watching this show. The sad part is that this show got cancelled, probably because of the violence and dark tones, but if you really want to see how all of Batman ends, I urge you to watch Justice League”s “Epilogue” episode. That ends all of Batman, forever. It is simply the best thing ever written for Batman.

Anyways, back to Batman Beyond… The Joker is dead and so are many of the old villains since it”s the year 2039. Instead of having The Joker, you have The Joker street gang and other characters based on themes from the past as well as some of them returning. The new villains are insanely more powerful than classic Batman villains, some of them being to the scale of power that it would take Superman or the Justice League to bring them down.

There are movies of the show, and they are all worth watching.

Since youtube restricts it, I can”t embed the intro, so here”s the link to it instead (open in a new tab).

Batman The Animated SeriesBatman: The Animated Series

This is a cartoon that was so good that I would stop doing anything to watch. This set the bar for me for what everything comic book related should be for the rest of time. Batman The Animated Series is so damn good that it makes everything else Batman look like shit, and I am including the Tim Burton and Chris Nolan movies. Now, yeah, that might be going a little bit too far but for a cartoon this is simply ART. The music along with the drawings along with the voice acting and writing makes for a perfect cartoon. This IS the Dark Knight. The writing is so good that I often remember quotes from the show. “How much is a good night”s rest? Now there”s a riddle for you…” and many more.

This cartoon is what and are based on.

This cartoon is so good that each episode has its own unique soundtrack written for it. The level of writing are just as good as the original Twilight Zone series. You MUST watch it.

Again, youtube doesn”t allow embedding so just open in a new tab, the HD 1080p version of the Batman Intro.

Darkwing DuckDarkwing Duck

Darkwing Duck was a spinoff from DuckTales and it was sort of like a comical parody of superheroes, especially Batman. This takes place in the DuckTales universe, even having Launchpad MacQuack as his sidekick, the really bad pilot from DuckTales that always crashes everything that he pilots. Just think of it like a light hearted Batman except that his parents didn”t get murdered and that he has to take care of a bratty daughter Gosalyn Mallard. I remember any time that there would be action he would always say his catchphrase: “Let”s get dangerous!”

This cartoon was really popular in the early to mid 90s especially when DuckTales was still around.

Dilbert TV SeriesDilbert

This was an amazing comedy show based on the incredible make-fun-of-working comic strip Dilbert. The show was as funny as the strip but I could tell it was probably doomed from the start since it would show on UPN. Like it was totally marketed incorrectly, on the wrong network for this show. It would probably done really well on Fox or Cartoon Network or on Adult Swim but then again this was the 1990s, not 5-10 years later. Still, they should have at least gone with Fox, although Fox kills most of all of its good shows (like Family Guy and Futurama).

If you don”t know what Dilbert is, it”s about showing how crappy it is to work in a corporate cubicle farm culture. The boss is a moron/asshole, everybody does anything they can in order to do the least amount of work and get paid the least. You know, just like in real life?

If you like the strip, just watch the show to see the cartoon version. You can see all the episodes of Dilbert on youtube via Crackle. Here is the link to the first episode.

Eek The CatEek The Cat

Eek The Cat was the perfect cartoon created by Savage Steve Holland which was intended for kids with ADD and to make fun of pop culture. The whole show was about Eek the Cat which was the nicest cat ever and he would always get hurt for trying to do the right thing. Pretty much every episode was about that. There was this dog, Sharky the Sharkdog which was always trying to bite Eek at every opportunity. “It never hurts to help” was what Eek would always say and then the worst things would happen to him, always physically. He had this horribly fat cat girlfriend called Annabelle that was morbidly obese and disgusting. Despite that he always loved her.

To me this show was infinitely superior to shows that came afterwards like Spongebob Squarepants.

Exo SquadExoSquad

This is the pinnacle of 90s cartoons as far as rare cartoons go. I would say only Batman was as good as this cartoon. This is the ultimate space opera cartoon. It shows real war with people dying, the “good guys” not always winning, racism, terrorism, megalomania, etc. It was hard to watch this cartoon because they would always air it randomly, sometimes skipping episodes. I had the same problem with Babylon 5 because my parents never had cable so I would have to guess what I had missed.

The show is the ultimate parable made on World War 2. A lot of people die and you see things like crimes against humanity and cruelty. Shocking for a publicly aired cartooon.

Anyways, this show is probably one of my highest recommended shows in GENERAL to watch of all time. I like it enough that I run the main facebook fan page for it. Fortunately for us, although the show is dead, we can see the entire show for free here at hulu.

Start watching it and don”t stop until you saw it all. Only season 1 is available on DVD because Universal doesn”t care much for this show. 🙁

Family GuyFamily Guy

This show started off in the late 90s and it”s still on the air after having been cancelled many times. Personally I think the first seasons of the show were much funnier than the current seasons, since they seem to keep changing writers all the time and lately they”ve been relying too much on recycling internet jokes. Even the writers of the show make fun of how much the show has become like their spinoff show American Dad and there was even The Cleveland Show which was just SHIT.

Anyways, everybody knows what Family Guy is. It”s as famous as The Simpsons and Futurama. If you don”t know what Family Guy is, it”s nice to finally have met a time traveler or I”m glad that you”re awake from your coma.


Here is a show that was created by Matt Groening, the creator of The Simpsons, that was superior (for geeks) to The Simpsons. The show is a LOT like Red Dwarf but even crazier because you can pretty much draw everything but Red Dwarf was limited by its budget. This show too had problems with it getting cancelled but it”s coming back again.

There are various movies of Futurama and they”re all worth watching.

The show is about this loser that gets frozen in cryogenic containment and he wakes up in the year 3000. The show is insanity having characters like the Santa Claus robot that kills everybody that”s been naughty and that means everybody. The aliens in the show are disgusting often eating garbage or they”re deadly or they”re just weird. Anyways, the loser Fry goes to work for an interstellar shipping company that”s run by an incompetent (not evil) genius Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth.

The show belongs in the comedy science fiction category alongside Red Dwarf. I highly recommend it.

King of the Hill
Men in Black: The Series
Mighty Max
Muppet Babies
Roughnecks: Starship Troopers Chronicles
Sabrina the Animated Series
South Park
Superman: The Animated Series
The Maxx
The Simpsons
The Tick
Tiny Toon Adventures


Jaws - NES - Gameplay Screenshot


Jaws: The Revenge was the third movie of the Jaws franchise, seeking to once again capitalize on the monster (no pun intended) success of the original, record-breaking film. The video game that was released for the Nintendo Entertainment System was arguably better than the big-screen version.


The game follows a character that is seeking the kill the giant Jaws shark.



Although the looks of the title were somewhat pixelated and crude, in certain instances (such as the jellyfish bonus levels, etc.) you can tell this is done intentionally to create a comical, cartoonish effect. In a way, this is a brilliant, albeit weird idea: Create a dichotomy between friendly, cartoony under-the-sea creatures against the dark, sharp, jagged features of the Jaws bosses.


Excellent song tracks here, with atmospheric synths featuring the ever-familiar suspense-building theme of the series. Even the between-levels music is upbeat and catchy. The overworld view, when the boat is directed, drones on repetitively until it becomes aggravating. However, this may have been intentional, simulating the long days at sea.



Usually, movie-themed video games are developed too quickly, as they seek to capitalized on a film’s popularity as rapidly as possible. While this may have been the case with Jaws, it does not show; the game is actually decent on its own merits, with some interesting themes. For example, there are a few modes of play: The overworld view, where the boat seeks upgrades while trying to avoid Jaws; the diving scenes, where the diver attacks creatures while collecting items; and bonus scenes, where bombing jellyfish (yes, bombing jellyfish) earns extra points toward upgrades; and a special section, whenever Jaws’ energy is depleted in the diving scenes. There is even a “hidden” mini-sub upgrade for the diver, making him faster and providing more firepower.

Ultimately, this is a fun, quirky, rewarding movie game, worth a respectable three-point-two-five stars out of five.

Eric Bailey is a retro gamer on a crazy quest to write a quality review for every single American-released NES video game over at

Torchwood: Escape To LA

Torchwood - Escape to LA

We open with Esther going to the boarded up home of her sister, Sarah who has become paranoid over the events of Miracle Day. Sarah has locked herself in not even allowing her two children to go outside. Esther begs Sarah to let her see the children, but Sarah refuses. As Esther leaves, she reluctantly calls child protective services on her sister. Just as Esther pulls away a man who works for the mysterious triangle group calls in that he will track her back to Torchwood.

More news is given on the aftermath of Miracle Day as we learn the pharmaceutical companies are making record profits. At the same time, we see more fallout as a man talks about being laid off after having a heart attack.

Team Torchwood arrives in Venice Beach and setups shop in a small apartment as they plan their assault on the Phicorp Los Angeles headquarters.  Rex contacts Dr. Vera asking about medication during a tour she is on inside a once abandoned hospital. A new plan has been struck to send the ICU and critical care patients to that location from all the other hospitals around the area.

Back at the apartment, Gwen contacts her husband to check in on her child and father. The man who tracked Esther takes pictures from a distance. The team discusses Oswald Danes. Jack believes he is an important player and should be tracked while Jily was just in the right place at the right time.

Torchwood - Escape to LA

Danes finds himself being upstaged by small town mayor and Tea Party member, Ellis Hartley Monroe. Ellis started a campaign called “Dead is Dead” the idea is the dead should be treated as such and segregated from everyone else. This played into last week’s episode that showed some peoples fear and hatred of those who should have died. Jily lets Oswald know some of his appearances have been cancelled and Danes will have to do something to get his mojo back.

After Esther asks Rex if he has family in LA and him denying it, he goes to the run down home of his father who has a large supply of Phicorp medications in his bathroom. Rex and his father have an estranged relationship most noted when Rex tells his father that he was injured and shows his wound to which his father says that he has been dying for 15 years and Rex never cared. In the end, Rex leaves having taken some pills from his father.

Team Torchwood finalizes their plan to replace a server within Phicorp that has information they need and the group obtains the means to get past security.

Meanwhile the once abandoned hospital is now overflowing with unwanted patients. Dr. Vera is overwhelmed trying to gain control and take care of everyone. Outside Ellis talks to the media, telling them the hospital is a good place for the people and that they are away from everyone else. Oswald arrives and goes into the hospital giving a speech to the patients saying he is just like them appealing to their feeling of abandonment and that he will fight for them and their rights. The press eats this up much to Jily’s delight. When Ellis returns to her limo, she is drugged and we see it is the triangle group who is behind it.

Torchwood - Escape to LA

Later that night the man who was tracking Team Torchwood tracks down and kills the man who has access to Phicorp’s servers allowing him to follow the group inside. Gwen and Jack make their way to the server room, but as they finish and Jack leaves, the man knocks Gwen unconscious. Jack, makes his way back to her, but is caught off guard and captured. Rex scolds Esther for allowing this to happen and makes his way to them. The man wants to know what made Jack immortal and now mortal, but Jack does not know. Gwen tries to find out whom the man is working for and just as it seems as if he is going to tell, Rex arrives and shoots him several times including once in the throat.

Ellis awakens in a junkyard to a voice coming from the dashboard of the car. The triangle group tells her that her message interferes with their plans and that the families will eliminate anyone who poses a threat to them, Ellis and the car are then crushed by a trash compactor.

Back at the apartment, Esther apologizes for the mistake. Rex tells her it is her final warning. The data from the servers show that Phicorp has been buying up property to create “Overflow Camps” where unwanted patients from around the world would be sent. When Gwen contacts her husband she finds out her father was just sent to one of those camps.

Torchwood - Escape to LA

Again, a very solid episode locking in that Phicorp knew about Miracle Day and most likely is behind it. I wonder if Esther making so many mistakes or her sister being sent to a mental hospital and the kids to foster care will be meaningful to the story or just a reason to feel sorry for her. With Danes, I am still not sold on how important he is even through people follow his word. I hope he becomes more than just a spokesperson for Phicorp because I would like to see Jily have a real purpose than just PR. I like the theme of people being afraid of those who were to die and I feel the overflow camps must have an important purpose, but I guess we will have to just wait to find out.

I’m The Guy Who Reported You

No longer will we have to deal with the immature audience of today’s internet that shout “Fag!”, “Bitch why did you take my quest item?”, and “Suck my dick, you fat loser!”.~Umar Khan

I’m The Guy Who Reported You

Let me step out of the shadows and into the light so you can see clearly. Got a good look? Great! It took a lot on my part to build the confidence and reassurance that what I’m doing is right. I’m glad this day has finally come, though. What day might that be? The day where I reveal to you, nay, all of you that I am the orchestrator of your bans, warnings, and name changes! That’s true! It is I! The great Umar Khan! I am the bastard who spends most of his day opening customer support tickets to report you for saying dicks, asshole, and cunt whistle.


But, Umar! Why?! Why would you do this? Have you no soul? No life?!

Correct on all accounts, reader! Correct on all accounts. In respect to your question I shall answer your whiny plea for the justification of my actions. Give me a moment to fill my wine glass with milk and lean back in my $35 ergonomic chair from Office Depot as I prepare to blow your mind.

I am doing it for you! Yes, you! All of this! All of it! For you! I am on a quest to weed out the unworthy of the online gaming landscape to make it a proper land for those who know how to follow rules and have the fortitude to fully understand and read the EULA that they agree to as they play their games. No longer will we have to deal with the immature audience of today’s internet that shout “Fag!”, “Bitch why did you take my quest item?”, and “Suck my dick, you fat loser!”. The EULA states that this kind of language is against its rules. Why you dare play with fire, I will never understand. The time has come though to turn the flame you rage against into a blistering inferno of bannings and suspensions! I am the harbinger of the soon to come MMO Utopia. For this who fight against my crusade, I am the vanguard of your destruction.

You can just turn on the profanity filter if it butt hurts you so much. lol!

I could or you could just not scoff at the agreement you accepted! Does my butt hurt when you refer to someone as a genital? Not at all. My butt doesn’t even get itchy! No, reader. Your words do not faze me. I learned a long time ago that words are simply glue and I… I am rubber! Your proclamations of rape, pussy, and motherfucker bounce from me and they stick to you. They will take root into your body and you will suffer the consequences they create! I will purge this foul mouthed community from my online gaming utopia and create an environment where a profanity filter is nonexistent. At last, the internet will have some class.

They don’t ban people for that! LOL The GM will just tell you to stfu! lolololol

That is so ridiculous. Since the beginning of the EULA’s existence, people have been banned for breaking the agreement that they willingly accepted in order to kill the giants rats of our yesteryears. Have you taken the time to read the EULA? They can ban you for this swashbuckling speech! If you haven’t heard of someone being banned or warned for this breach, you are blind, ignorant, and/or a liar.

What’s wrong, reader? Your face is red with what seems to be anger and chilled with the sweat of fright! You look like an animal backed into a corner; like an Obi-Wan who doesn’t want to believe Anakin would plunge the Jedi into darkness.

You’re a mad man! A mad man, I say! You can’t do this!

Oh, I can and I will! My rampage will not end with those who simply spew middle school vulgarity. I will prosecute the racists, xenophobic, farmers, exploiters, and scammers! When I’m through with this online world, parents won’t have to worry about their children getting on the computer. Unlike the world we currently live in, the internet will be a safe haven. Thanks to me. The MMO Jesus. That’s what they’ll call me.

We don’t want this utopia! This is a sick world you want for us! You can’t censor us, man!

Truly? Censorship? How am I censoring you? You can still voice your distaste for someone’s actions. You can still boast with a less vulgar choice of words. What censorship? I am instilling class and courtesy in your lives! Instead of voicing the hate I am looking to subdue, you should embrace my cause and open your customer service tickets and begin reporting those who would taint our internet games! The battle will be long and difficult, that is true. However, there will come a time where we can finally play our games and not have to spend our time weeding out the vile filth that plagues our communities. Look past our differences. Look past yourselves. Reader, you know what I say is true and the only one holding all this back is… well you.

Everquest goes Free-To-Play

After 13 years and tons of expansions the game known as Evercrack goes free-to-play.

everquest logo

Hello everyone – I hope you all are doing well early on in the New Year! With an exciting Veil of Alaris expansion just released in November, we’re thrilled to announce the next big adventure for EverQuest®. After listening to your feedback and suggestions over the past few years, I’m happy to announce that in early March 2012, EverQuest will be going free-to-play.

We’re excited to be expanding the EverQuest experience by making the game more accessible to every type of player so that you can choose to play the game in a way that suits you best. Anyone who wishes to start, return or continue to play one of the “Best Games of All-Time” can simply download and play EverQuest on their terms – think of it as Free to Play, Your Way. Recurring subscriptions, non-recurring subscriptions, Silver or Free memberships, item unlockers, and more. The game will now be setup to be flexible so that *you* can decide how much to pay, based on how much fun you’re having.

EverQuest players are some of the most loyal, long-standing players of any MMO in existence. With the gaming landscape changing every day, we want to ensure we continue to evolve the game to keep players engaged and bring in even more new players to further expand the community. With no up-front costs or required membership, we might see a new player or two along the way, and more people is always a good thing!

Once we go free-to-play, here are some of the upcoming features and events you can expect:

  • On Friday, March 16th, EverQuest becomes a teenager: 13 years old!!! We will be having some extra added events in the game starting that week leading up to that Friday and we’re introducing some new items within POK to let you know what’s in store.
  • With the free-to-play launch, a renovated website will be unveiled and after that, we will bring you upgraded EQPlayers pages.
  • We have improved the functionality of our Map system! Some improvements include being able to view appropriate level content for your character on the map, allowing you to find zone lines much easier; and also showing you your wisps on the map to help navigate to where you want to go!

Also at the free-to-play launch, all players will receive a Welcome Pack containing items to add to your gameplay experience. You’ll be able to summon a unique Mercenary to fight by your side and we’re including some Bayle Marks to help pay for the services of your newly summoned Mercenary. A couple of Experience Potions are also included to help you increase your experience gained while adventuring. For all the collectors that like to show off all the great wares to your friends, we’re giving you an item to display in your home and add to your collection. And finally, you’ll be able to customize the appearance of one of your weapons with a Weapon Ornamentation – also included in the Welcome Pack. So be sure to check the claim window for your free gifts.

We, the EverQuest dev team, are very excited about this new flexible system. Free-To-Play is the best fit for EverQuest and we are looking forward to supporting the game and our dedicated fans for years to come. This is a great year for everyone associated with EverQuest and SOE. We think you’ll be pleasantly surprised at what’s coming in 2012.

One last note, we will be doing a Community Webcast on Thursday February 2, 2012 covering all of the exciting free-to-play details. Please be sure to send in any questions you might have via the Facebook page or Twitter so we can respond with answers during the Webcast.

See you in game very soon!

Thom Terrazas
EverQuest Producer
AKA “Phathom”

For more information on the transition to free-to-play please visit the FAQ and free-to-play matrix.

So does anyone see themselves logging in to play?

Everything you ever wanted to know about Pac-Man, but were afraid to ask

The Pac-Man Dossier

Everything you ever wanted to know about Pac-Man, but were afraid to ask

The original Pac-Man arcade game might be pushing 32 years of age, but the name still has interest with video game fans of all generations.  Pac-champ David Race once again made international headlines when RecordSetter announced he’d set another new speed record while the recent online World’s Biggest Pac-Man game estimates more than 40 man-hours have been played on their website in the past year.

Casual players and observers who think there isn’t much to Pac-Man strategy and gameplay might be surprised by a visit to the Pac-Man Dossier website.  This labor of love by dot gobbling fan Jamey Pittman goes deep into the Pac-Man program, explaining not only strategies but how the game thinks and reacts to the player’s every move.

“As a kid, my grandparents would often take me to a local shopping mall that had a Gold Rush arcade,” Pittman recalled. “This is where I encountered my first Pac-Man machine in 1980 or 1981. Up to that point, I had dropped most of my quarters into space-themed, ‘shoot ’em up’ titles like Space Invaders and Asteroids, but that all changed once I saw Pac-Man.  Everything about it seemed so new and different compared to what I was used to: the cabinet, the colorful characters, the sounds, everything.”

Decades later, Pittman once again returned to the deep blue maze.


“The game studio I was a software developer for went under in 2008, and I suddenly found myself with a lot of time on my hands,” he said. “I started playing a lot of Pac-Man using the MAME emulator and realized that, as much as I enjoy playing Pac-Man, it would be even more fun to reverse engineer the game and finally learn how the ghosts work ‘under the hood’, so to speak. So I set out to fill in the many gaps in the internet’s collective knowledge base on the inner workings of Pac-Man. The goal was to conclusively prove how every part of the game functioned, especially everything related to ghost behavior, and put everything I learned into one reference document to share with interested parties.”

With input from several Pac-Man champs and classic arcade reverse-engineering guru Don Hodges, Pittman completed the Dossier after two months of work.  With explanations on every aspect of Pac-Man from how the monsters react to player movements to why and how the player can sometimes pass through an enemy without losing a life, Pittman notes a few programming bugs in particular that caught his eye.

“I think one of the more interesting tidbits was how the chase mode logic for Pinky and Inky works slightly differently when Pac-Man is facing upward,” he said. “After noticing this subtle discrepancy in Pinky’s targeting algorithm, Don and I did some additional code analysis and concluded the game developers screwed up by leaving an overflow bug in the code used for calculating tile offsets relative to Pac-Man’s current position. Another interesting bug I uncovered is how to trap three of the ghosts inside their home during the first two levels of play. That one took some time to figure out as the code governing when and how ghosts leave their home is fairly convoluted.”

Since launching, the Pac-Man Dossier has received hits from over 300,000 unique visitors and was even used as a learning tool when Google developed their popular Pac-Man 30th Anniversary Doodle in 2010.  If time allows, Pittman says he may do similar site for another arcade classic.

“I could easily do an sister site on Ms. Pac-Man as it’s based on the original Pac-Man code,” he said.  “Both I and Don have already spent a lot of time looking over that game’s disassembled code.  But in terms of choosing a completely different title, I think I would most enjoy tearing Centipede completely apart. Defenderor Joust would be fun projects as well.”

The Pac-Man Dossier can be visited by clicking here.

Patrick Scott Patterson has been a gamer since 1981, acting as a writer, technician and world record holder on several game titles. He has appeared numerous times in the yearly editions of Guinness World Records: Gamer’s Edition. In addition to writing here, Patterson has also written for Yahoo!, Twin Galaxies, VGEVO and Gameroom Magazine, and is always looking for unique and positive news to report from the video gaming world.

High School of the Dead



So, I was recommended this anime from a friend of mine and so far I have gotten to the 8th episode of the series. High school of the Dead is the story of a group of Japanese high school girls, two guys and the school nurse as they try to survive a zombie apocalypse.

I was recommended this anime for one reason originally, the T and A. If you watch the uncensored version you will pretty much everything a anime fanboi would want to see from huge animated breasts to pretty much all the female characters playing with each other in a shower scene, oh ya there are zombies too.

The story starts out fast like many zombie movies with the outbreak starting with someone being killed on the school grounds, but the male lead character soon finds out that it was no random murder and the dead are not staying dead. It was not to long until the entire school was in a panic and overrun with zombies.


It took some time for the full cast to meet up as they were in different parts of the school, but once they did their overall goal was to get to safety and find out what was really going on. Now there is a story within all the zombie beat downs and boob and panty shots. Like many zombie movies the story is about how different people deal with the crisis they found themselves in. You can expect the military to be dicks and the cops being useless and people taking advantage to be the assholes they really are.

Honestly, besides the T and A which is nice, I am enjoying their take on a zombie outbreak and even the male characters are cool and interesting especially the chubby nerd turned gun freak. You can find the original Japanese version subtitled or the English dub version as well, but make sure you get the uncensored one, you will thank me later.

[youtube width=”600″ height=”480″][/youtube]

MMO Rewrite

In the end we must support what we thing is salvageable not what is perfect out the gate, because nothing is. Big MMO’s are like network television, they release a good show but their expectations are so high they cancel it if it does not live up to their unattainable unrealistic goals. We need a cable TV solution where a show can grow and become a hit with true fans who appreciate it. ~J.A. Laraque

MMO Rewrite

I think it might be time to rethink the MMO model. Just as many people get older and make adjustments to their lifestyle the same has to be done with MMO’s and it’s not just graphics or even just game mechanics. The change has to come based on how the community has grown and changed and adjusted to these types of games.

mmo boxes

Let’s look at Everquest, a game many people look back on with rose colored glasses. Most people never did more than a few quests in vanilla EQ. You would run out and start killing rats, bats and beetles, but because it was new and different it was fun, and many accepted it for what it was.

People claimed there was a better community in the past and it was true because it was so hard to level and groups meant everything so you were forced to play nice where today you can dump and find groups so fast many will not tolerate even one death much less wipe after wipe like was the norm in Everquest.


People look at Star Wars the Old Republic and complain because you can solo to 50 and the companion system makes the game more like a single player game. However, even in early World of Warcraft most people could solo to 50 and sure there were zones that needed a group, but it was not a requirement and a good number of people were denied groups for level 45-50 zones due to their class or other factors.

Turning back to Everquest, people forget that grouping was more about locking down a spawn than the fact that you really loved to group. In Lower Guk your group would camp one room and if it had a drop like the Flowing Black Sash there would be a rotation. You would be in the same group for hours because if you left good luck getting back in.

Everquest 2

So where did the change start? First, it began when people realized some classes could kite in EQ like Druids or Wizard. In games like City of Heroes, we saw people really begin to only group to finish their mission and then they would quit. When World of Warcraft went from 40-man to 25-man raids and the birth of the clicks occurred grouping took another hit because people were forced to do pugs and then the idea of pubs became so repugnant that if anything went wrong people would leave in a second.

In Everquest 2’s early days, groups would share Exp debt when someone died, so if you made a mistake the whole group might disband. All this, along with the increasing drama on message board forums, and more and more people joining the world of MMO has led to its decay.

City of Heroes

Originally a “server first” meant something, but soon it became a job with people working in teams to reach max level first. The idea of eating through content was considered a virtue as everyone wanted to be first and honestly, many learned back in the days of EQ that it was the first guilds to encounter new content that were the ones to find bugs and exploits and reap gains from them before they were removed, fixed or nerfed.

Then the great expansion came and MMO’s started popping up overnight and just like 3D movies we realized many should not have been made. We were already paying $15 for one MMO, who in their right mind would pay two or three of them. Free to play was enviable, but it also had flaws due to things like having the richest person gain an advantage or companies charging for the smallest things just to nickel and dime you to death.

Players saw games close for the first time and companies abandon their player base by offering little or no new content or support. The insert game here killer became a running joke and it was expected that any game to come out was doomed to fail because either it was not enough like game X or too much like it.

World of Warcraft

Finally, we all got older. The teenager is now in college, the young man now has a wife and kids and the basement dweller has a full time job. Want to know another effect of having a casual friendly game, when they are done with it they are less likely to move on to another and more likely to just stop gaming altogether.

There has been a lot of heat on Star Wars and they deserve a lot of it, but we as gamers need to realize that MMO’s need a rewrite. There will never be an Everquest or Dark Age of Camelot or World of Warcraft experience again. Even those who were the ten-year-old gamers will not experience games the way we did because the times are different and because of this MMO’s need to adjust just as our expectations of them should.

My prediction, games will get smaller not larger. Remember the, it’s time to slay the dragon commercial for EQ? Sure, it was made fun of, but there was something important there. It was about 5 or 6 friends coming together in a game. I believe that is our future. The large raids and guilds of 200 plus members are over. MMO’s will become games where you can solo and then call a few friends to do larger content.


Also, MMO’s have to drop the monthly fee. Remember EQ 2 and their 5-dollar content updates? It was a complete joke at the time, but I see that as the future. No monthly fee, weekly bug fixes, maintenance and patches, but every few months you buy a chapter consisting of new quests and zones for a small fee with one big paid expansion per year.

This allows gamers to switch between MMO’s , but still provides enough revenue to keep games going. If companies keep looking to have 20 million subscribers, they will continue to fall short. We have all grown and changed and its time MMO’s followed suit.

In the end we must support what we thing is salvageable not what is perfect out the gate, because nothing is. Big MMO’s are like network television, they release a good show but their expectations are so high they cancel it if it does not live up to their unattainable unrealistic goals. We need a cable TV solution where a show can grow and become a hit with true fans who appreciate it.

Otherwise, we will just jump from bandwagon to bandwagon waiting for the would-be giant to tumble and laugh as it falls right on top of us.

How Video Games Changed My Life

It went on from there and about a week later he recognized me as a Final Fantasy IV Rosa cosplayer at a convention just a few months before, when I had no idea he even existed. Needless to say since then our relationship only grew.~Lady Death

How Video Games Changed My Life

To contribute to the theme of life changing events with video gaming being the catalyst, I have a story of my own out of so many I had to choose from. Seeing as we are running this idea through until Valentine’s Day, I decided to write on how I met my boyfriend.

FFIV Cosplay
With my friends at Yasumicon ’08

We met in a math class roughly three years ago during college. He was playing Castlevania: Tales of Ecclesia on the DS during quite a few of the classes. We still argue to this day whether it was a good idea or not to have the lead character a woman during an entire game of the series. In any case, I was interested but didn’t say anything, and eventually we spoke. Naturally, games like Guilty Gear and Dance Dance Revolution were brought up as common interests before anything else.

Guilty Gear is a fighting game series still played by its loyal fans that have stuck it through until its apparent end. One of the most important things in any fighting game is the character you play as or “main”. When I and my boyfriend used to play, he professionally, he “mained” May and I, Ky Kiske

It went on from there and about a week later he recognized me as a Final Fantasy IV Rosa cosplayer at a convention just a few months before, when I had no idea he even existed. Needless to say since then our relationship only grew.

I am a fatalist, and I believe Fate has an interesting way of communicating. We have been together almost three years and our relationship is still going strong. Video gaming is beyond an interest. It’s a lifestyle and we couldn’t be happier living it together.

I love him so much. He’s the May to my Ky…Wait, what?

Notes: We’re both sad about the whole “Guilty Gear being dumped for a more user friendly game” thing. Definitely.

Kyle Kulyk: Itzy Interactive

Itzy Interactive-logo

Name: Kyle Kulyk

Company: Itzy Interactive

Title: Co-Founder/Lead Developer


Favorite Classic Game: Raid on Bungeling Bay

Quote on why it is your favorite: I just found out recently that this was Will Wright’s first game. I loved this game as a kid. It was one of the first games I played where your play area wasn’t confined to the immediate screen, and things happened off screen! Wait too long and fortifications were being built that would hamper your efforts. In the middle of a mission – too bad! Your carrier is under attack. It seems like nothing now, but at the time this was pretty revolutionary to me.


Video Games and Life

I found diversity and acceptance in the gamers I met. We might call each other names and make politically incorrect jokes, but when I needed help they were there.  My gamer friends led me to my jobs, which turned, into my career which lead to my writing and this website and the same happens every day.~J.A. Laraque

Video Games and Life

While not talked about as much now as in years past the idea that gamers or video games leads to antisocial behavior needs to be reexamined. While it may look like someone is alone playing in the room or office the way we communicate has changed and just because you might not see someone face to face does not mean there is no connect.


As for me personally, I not only met most of my friends from games, but also launched my career. Coming from Chicago to Miami I left all my friends behind, many from childhood. I was already way past the high school years so going down to the local mall to find friends was not an option.

Now to be fair I did not know gaming would lead me to meet friends online and then in person, but today that is a very common story. Just as internet dating was (and sometimes still is) looked upon as weird so was making real friends online, but that has changed. Sure, we can look at Facebook friends and laugh knowing that out of those 3000 you might have met 50, but even if you meet one or two they could change your life.

I found diversity and acceptance in the gamers I met. We might call each other names and make politically incorrect jokes, but when I needed help they were there.  My gamer friends led me to my jobs, which turned, into my career which lead to my writing and this website and the same happens every day.

Interaction is important. I had to make the choice not to be scared and meet these gamers. Now, depending on factors like age and location, you take precautions, but it is about making a connecting, even if it is in a virtual world the bonds are just as real.

For some, that voice over Ventrilo is the only way they can reach people, some might have a disability or for economic reasons and region cannot meet people like them. I have found this among older people who feel ashamed for liking video games at their age. Yet another way of thinking we need to change.

Even during the worst days of Everquest when we would play for hours upon end we would still call each other and meet up for dinner and talk gaming. Just like sports or gossip it captured our attention and entertained us and that is all that we cared about.

Just like any other friend, some were better in game than real life. There were friends that quit playing games and stopped hanging out, but the same happens outside of gaming. However, many remained friends for years and still are to this day.

The great thing about gaming and life is it continues and you know if you are still into games 30 years from now you will find others who share your love and are willing to talk about it. Maybe the next time you want to pull someone away from a game find out more about it first. Many parents ended up strengthening their bonds with their kids over World of Warcraft. Some people meet their future wives or husbands.

I may not be as hardcore as 10 years ago, but gaming is in my blood and I doubt that will ever change. I enjoy my job and my hobbies because it revolves around it. So be it retro or new, pc or console or even mobile the next game may bring you closer to that best friend or perhaps even more.

What Madeline Did In 2011

What Madeline Did In 2011

This cool girl Madeline made this video showing just one second of every single day for the year 2011.

2011 from hey_rabbit on Vimeo.

Observations based on the video:
-She’s cute.
-She likes going to live shows.
-She lives in Los Angeles.
-She seems to have fun friends.
-She plays the original arcade game for Star Wars.
-She likes True Grit, the 2010 version.
-She has cats.
-She reads poetry.
-She cooks.
-She codes! (holy crap!!! – She’s a KEEPER!)
-She plays the guitar.
-She watches random stuff on the internet.
-She liked Thor (excellent) and saw the 2D version.
-She works doing a kid’s show.
-She reads graphic novels.
-She draws art on the computer (an Apple).
-She goes rollerskating.
-She might be a vegan.
-She likes to sing in the car.
-She also creates art, not on the computer as well.
-She travels a lot.
-She watches X-Files.
-She draws comics!
-She watches Harry Potter movies.
-She knits.
-She parties.
-She likes doing activities outdoors.
-She watched Contagion in the movies.
-She keeps a physical journal.
-She seems to like nature.
-She enjoys photography.
-She watched the movie The Graduate.
-She likes Deadliest Catch.
-She likes Doctor Who.
-She watched King Kong, the 2005 version.
-She is interested in Coast To Coast.
-She is an artist.
-She likes Upright Citizens Brigade.
-She likes The Hobbit.
-She likes children.

Conclusion: This girl is awesome!

Blade Runner mode off.

Okay, so yeah you’re either used to be posting a bunch of braindead shit or stuff that will make the Baby Jesus cry but I do look at happy stuff too, so there!

And yeah, I do realize that list makes me sound like a stalker. 😮

Justice League Task Force

Justice League Task Force - Sega Genesis - Gameplay Screenshot

Let me start off by saying I’m not a huge fan of fighting games, in particular the 1 vs 1 games like Tekken or Mortal Kombat. I get bored with them easily, and all I seem to do is “button-mash” and hope for the best. Having said that, I wanted to try JLTF, because as a huge DC guy, I wanted to play around with the heavy hitters that I’ve known all my life. Thought that may pull me into it, instead of fighting with “fat guy who open-hand slaps me”, “dude with chain that strangles me”, or “hot chick who flips around but boobs never fall out”. Plus, this is supposed to have a storyline with Darkseid, so how bad could it be?

Justice League Task Force - Sega Genesis - Gameplay Screenshot
The game doesn’t start well. I choose Superman, of course, because he’s the baddest and I want to mow through people. The first thing I notice is Blizzard/Acclaim didn’t have the plums to tell DC that they weren’t going to model Supes after Jurgens’ mullet-Supey, so I’d have to look at that the rest of the way. Just sad really.

Justice League Task Force - Sega Genesis - Gameplay Screenshot
The storyline has Darkseid attacking a military base?!?! Big Blue is going to contact a JLAer to tell them about it. Suddenly, Green Arrow attacks me!!? WTF? I’m forced to fight him, which should lasts .0002 seconds, but somehow he’s fighting off cold breath, heat vision, and punches….that’s realistic. After “battle”, I decided to talk to Aquaman to see what’s up, AND THAT DUDE ATTACKS ME!!! Where are the villains?!

Justice League Task Force - Sega Genesis - Gameplay Screenshot
This keeps going on until Superman figures out that the real heroes must be kidnapped and he’s fighting robots. Holy crap. Once Batman, Flash, and Wonder Woman “robots” are torn apart, Darkseid decides to throw CHEETAH at me!…………yes, Cheetah is the chick that wears a cat costume. Worst. Villain. Plan. Ever.

Justice League Task Force - Sega Genesis - Gameplay Screenshot
For whatever reason, I was forced to “fight” her, when all I really wanted to do was let her break a nail on my Kryptonian abs and make her go poop in her cat box. Despero is next, which is nice, because he’s a tough dude, and…well…HE’S A BAD GUY!! Darkseid is still not ready to face me yet, as he throws a Superman robot at me, I guess trying to confuse me. He forgot that as a boy in Smallville, I used to make these robots so Lana Lang wouldn’t think Clark/Supes were the same person. Should have done your homework, son. After the recycling was taken out, Darkseid decides to come after me himself. Getting hit with those Omega Beams, I thought,”Boy, he always talked a lot of smack about these, but they’re not really doing that much damage? Kind of a wimp.”

After it’s all done, my hero-buddies show up and we scold Darkseid about doing property damage on Earth…seriously.

Now do you see why I don’t like these games. It’s just ridiculous that all these costumes are on the same power level, and the winner is the person who presses buttons the quickest….unless it’s Superman Vs Muhammad Ali…..that shit was real!

Old Game Reviewer reviews classic and retro games, you can check out more of his great work on his blog here – Old Game reviewer.

Fight Night: Battle of the Toxic Booty Injections

Corey Eubank

We all love a good talk show fight no matter what language it is in. This video shows an attack from the Spanish talk show Cristina, which is known for some good scraps. The show was about a fake doctor who was injecting her patients in the butt with cement, mineral oil and flat-tire sealant (that last one is just too much, lol). Apparently, because the doctor has a big ol bubble butt herself her patients thought she was legit.

Check out the story on The Huffington Post.

How Gaming Changed This Girl’s Life

It’s funny how, in the beginning, he thought it was cool dating a girl who liked gaming. He now cautions guys against dating gamer girls! He was just mad that I took over his Playstation for about a whole solid month. Yeah, I know it shouldn’t have been that long, but I’m one of those “gotta get everything” kinda gamers.~Jessi Roman

How Gaming Changed This Girl’s Life

Single moments in history are what make up our lives.  Some moments pass by unnoticed, seemingly meaningless, lost in a neurological card catalog, while others are etched into our memories, never to be forgotten.


What was it about that day in 2nd grade (no, I’m not going to tell you what year it was!) that stood out in my memory? Santa Claus came to our class. We went up and down the rows, each naming one thing we wanted for Christmas. I was the only one that did not ask for a Nintendo! I asked for a drum set, and I got it… never did become much of a musician. At any rate, this was not the catalyst that began my transformation from the geeky kid that every one made fun of into… well, the geeky gamer girl that everyone made fun of. (Thank God for the sudden acclamation of geek culture!) No, it was not this single moment, framed in time, that changed my life, but for some reason it stuck.

I didn’t get a NES of my very own until several years later. That’s not to say that I didn’t spend hours upon hours of my formative years playing Super Mario Bros. with the boy across the street. But no, I wasn’t a “gamer” back then. I mean, I definitely remember that feeling I got the first time I found out that my Princess was in another castle… -_- and I remember how I swelled with pride when I finally beat 8-4 and found her! I mean, I have some seriously precious gaming memories that even go as far back as Sierra’s “Space Quest: The Sarien Encounter”.


There was a life-changing gaming experience for me, though. It wasn’t until after I graduated high school. I started dating this guy who had a Playstation. He changed my life forever. Not only did I end up marrying the guy, but he introduced me to Chrono Cross – most epic RPG ever! I had never played a serious RPG before… I mean, does Zelda count? No, I didn’t think so. So being all girly and stuff, I got really sucked in by the art, and the plethora of characters you could pick up. Matter of fact, to this day, a key element in how I rate an RPG is the number of playable characters.

Let’s face it, people, there’s no greater game to have launched me into the world of serious hard-core gaming. I worked a split shift at the JCC, so I had a block of four hours free time in the middle of the day. He gave me the key to his house (and unknowingly, the key to his heart <3… yeah, I’m a sap), and I’d spend those four hours immersed in the tropical archipelago, El Nido.

Chrono Cross

It’s funny how, in the beginning, he thought it was cool dating a girl who liked gaming. He now cautions guys against dating gamer girls! He was just mad that I took over his Playstation for about a whole solid month. Yeah, I know it shouldn’t have been that long, but I’m one of those “gotta get everything” kinda gamers… so I went for every character… played out every possible subplot… even used the strategy guide to make sure I didn’t miss anything. And boy did I get everything! It changed my life. Really. I wonder if I had not spent those hours upon hours hanging out at his house, playing Chrono Cross… I wonder if I still would have won his heart? I’m not going to go so far as to say that gaming got me married… but maybe it did. Maybe it changed my life more than I’ll ever know.

It’s been over ten years now, and we’re still married… and still gaming! I may have gotten better at sharing, and co-op games are more fun now! But to this day, nothing has ever come close to the grand epicness that is Chrono Cross. No other game has made such an impact on my life. Even as I write this now, I’m listening to the OST, and realizing how important it is that I go back for a re-play.

Did a game ever change your life? If so, how? What game was it?

Jessi Roman is a geek, gamer, mom, proudly raising the next generation of nerds! You can read her blog here.

Zork: Grand Inquisitor

Zork - Grand Inquisitor - PC - Gameplay Screenshot

In 1996, Activision released Zork: Nemesis, a visually-stunning game, but with an overtly dark theme and a serious – even intense – game atmosphere, very unlike any other game in the Zork series.  (So dark, in fact, that the Infocom label was not included on the box!)  Nemesis was a great game, but something had to be done to bring back the humor and irreverence of all things Zork.  And so, a year later, in 1997, Activision released a new game in the Zork / Enchanter series, set 580 years before Return to Zork, and with an eye to bringing the series back to its roots – Zork: Grand Inquisitor.

Zork - Grand Inquisitor - PC - Gameplay Screenshot

The story behind Zork: Grand Inquisitor was fairly basic: magic has been banned by the merciless Inquisition, and the Dungeon Master has been trapped within a trusty adventurer’s lantern.  The player is called upon by the Dungeon Master – “I shall call you ageless, faceless, gender-neutral, culturally ambiguous, adventurer person. AFGNCAAP for short. ” – to restore the magic outlawed by the Inquisition in Quendor.  To do so, AFGNCAAP must locate the lost Zorkian magical treasures of the Coconut of Quendor, the Skull of Yoruk, and one of the Cubes of Foundation, with which a torrent of magic will be released, defeating the plans of the Grand Inquisitor and his minions.  Sounds easy, right?

Zork - Grand Inquisitor - PC - Gameplay Screenshot

The technology used by Zork: Grand Inquisitor was a modified version of the Z-Vision game engine first used in Zork: Nemesis.  A full lateral sweep of 360 degrees was available to the player, but not any vertical movement (with a couple of exceptions based on unique scenes at GUE Tech and at the Flathead Mesa).  Human characters were portrayed by actors in full motion video, while non-human characters, such as Marvin the Goatfish, were clay models which were then digitized and animated.  Zork: Grand Inquisitor used lighting effects to draw the eye of the player to explorable areas, permitting the player to spend more time engrossed in puzzle-solving rather than the standard mouse click-fest and hunt-and-click routines of many adventure games.

Zork - Grand Inquisitor - PC - Gameplay Screenshot

The voice acting was superb, with Hollywood-class talent giving life to the various characters, which included Michael McKean (as the lantern-trapped Dungeon Master, Dalboz of Gurth) and David L. Lander (whom many will recall played Squiggy inLaverne & Shirley, as the font of ridiculous proclamations, the Voice of the Inquisition).  Some of the actors involved who had both visual and audio parts included Dirk Benedict as Antharia Jack, Rip Taylor as Chief Undersecretary Wartle, and Erick Avari, as Mir Yannick, the pompous, over-his-head but desperately attempting to fake it, Grand Inquisitor.  The effect was to improve the gameplay, especially during cutscenes, which can be excruciating when players are forced to watch the programmer’s second cousin who once acted in a school play gamely work their way through a script. *shudder*

Zork - Grand Inquisitor - PC - Gameplay Screenshot

Zork: Grand Inquisitor received good reviews (PC Gamer Magazine gave it an Editor’s Choice award and scored it at 88% in its May, 1988 issue, while GameSpot scored it as a 8.0 “Great”).  The biggest fault that reviewers agreed upon was that it seemed too short, and a longer visit in this archetypical gamer universe was wished for.  Now that’s a complaint any developer would like to hear!  It was released for both Windowsand Macintosh platforms, and played the same on either one.  Also, a DVD version was released in 1998, which also included the full version of Zork: Nemesis as an added bonus.


Never forget who is the boss of you. ME!  I am the boss of you!“  Combining the visual appeal of Zork: Nemesis with the humor of the original series, Zork: Grand Inquisitor was a laudable addition to the Zork milieu, and certainly a worthy entry into this Game of the Week series.  Bluntly put, this game is well-worth a playthrough, especially if you are a fan of the Zork series!

Magisterrex has been gaming since the days of Pong and still owns a working Atari 2600. He tends to ramble on about retro games, whether they be board games, video games or PC games.  If you’re into classic old school gaming check out his blog here

Sound Blaster Recon3D Fatal1ty Professional Review


For many, building a gaming system is all about the processor and video card. People will take the time to research everything about the processor speed or video ram, but when it comes to the sound card that duty is given to the motherboard. In the 90’s almost every gaming rig had a sound blaster inside, but today, far too many leave it up to the mainboard and far too many are missing out.

Now, let us be fair, onboard sound can be pretty good. I personally have used on-board sound and I thought it was just fine. The trick is you do not know what you are missing until you try it out and see the difference. It is like going from 720p to 1080p you will notice the difference especially in games with 3D sound effects or where having true surround sound is important.

First, we start with the Sound Core3D. This is a quad-core audio processor that allows all the technologies running within the card to function at peak performance. Sometimes you might see within games that you can crank up the sound quality, but it might lower performance, not with this card.

Sound Blaster Recon3D Fatal1ty Professional - Box

Next, we have the THX TruStudio Pro, which is all about realism. When you are playing a game like Battlefield 3 or World of Tanks, you want the sound of the bullets and explosions to sound real. It is all about immersion and that is what 3D surround sound does, it makes you feel as if you are right there just as much as high resolution graphics does.

Crystal voice is all about audio communications, which is so important in today’s games. Ever listen to horrible sounds via Ventrilo, Team Speak or Mumble? It is not always a bad microphone or that the person never uses push to talk. Many of the times, it is just a bad audio card or setup and crystal voice fixes that allowing you to adjust your settings within the control panel so you come through clear without the need to yell.

Staying in the world of voice the beam-forming microphone I found is great for voice communications. We talked about push to talk, but sometimes in some versus games you might need to be able to constantly talk and what is great about this microphone is it creates an acoustic zone suppressing noise outside that zone. What does this mean? It means when talking your speaker noise is less likely to be heard allowing you to speak freely without others hearing your background noise. I tested this in games like BF3, Star Wars the Old Republic and League of Legends and it works like a charm.


If you have been reading our previous hardware reviews you know I am rocking the Diablo III headset and it works perfectly with the Recon 3D. This card has a dedicated headphone amp that provides the power needed for high quality headphones, which is important since many gamers are spending the big bucks and high-end headsets and the last thing you want is an underpowered device running them.

Finally, we have the Dolby Digital Live encoding which allows you to connect your system to a home theater system using a single cable. I personally have not tried this function yet, but for those of you with a home system this could be the perfect piece to finish your setup particularly if you watch television and movies or listen to music within your office.

Setting it up was a snap. The back of the card has color-coded connections with clear markings of what goes where. I have a 5.1 speaker system with a center speaker and sub and was able to connect my speakers within moments. Just remember that if you have existing onboard audio you will want to disable it because Windows will use it by default and you might end up wondering why you do not hear anything.

Sound Blaster Recon3D Fatal1ty Professional - Control Panel

The microphone while small has a very long cable which is good for people like myself with a large desk and I noticed while configuring the mic that I do not have to speak loudly or lean into the mic which is great.

Once the software was installed, I opened up the control panel and viewed the various options for configuration. For the novice, don’t sweat it. There are a lot of settings you can change, but right out the box you will notice the difference in quality without changing anything.

Sound Blaster Recon3D Fatal1ty Professional - Control Panel

For the most part I only played around with the equalizer because I wanted to create different profiles for games, movies and music and anyone who has ever used Winamp EQ or another audio program will see how to adjust the highs, mids and lows.

The speaker/headphones setup is also nice because it allows you to adjust for the difference between the two devices. A lot of times you will want to boost the forward speakers or lower the bass with headphones and all this can be done on the fly.

Sound Blaster Recon3D Fatal1ty Professional - Control Panel

Under the Crystal Voice, settings you can boost your mic output or adjust the noise reduction making sure you sound perfect within games or just normal voice chat.

Overall, the Recon 3D Fatal1ty changed my view on sound. I can hear people sneaking up on me in first person shooters and immerse myself in the battle music of SWTOR. For those of you who take your gaming seriously a top-notch sound card is a must because it does give an advantage just as much as a better monitor or video card does.

Sound Blaster Recon3D Fatal1ty Professional - Control Panel

Besides that, being able to enjoy movies and music with high-definition sound truly makes your computer the main entertainment center, so if you spend a lot time with your PC then you want a great audio experience and the Sound Blaster Recon3D Fatal1ty Professional sound card delivers just that.

Kimbo Slice & Consumer Cellular?


It appears this is an old commercial, but I just saw this. I am curious, is this what Kimbo Slice is doing now? Just look at the commercial, see that guy dancing in the background? At first I thought it was some homeless guy following him around and then I notice he is holding a sign for the company? Is there some kind of subliminal messaging going on here, like if you don’t get this phone Kimbo will crush your face?


Mr. McCann must be part of the 1% the way he is totally ignoring the giant guy following him. Kimbo does have a good grove going on.  Honestly, I am so sad Kimbo did not follow him all the way home that would have been awesome, then it could turn into an ADT commercial.

A look back at the Coleco Mini-Arcades

Coleco Mini-Arcades - Frogger

Long before the Nintendo 3DS and Sony PSVita were even thought possible and even before Nintendo made theGameBoy a household name a company named Coleco echoed through the ears of video gamers who wanted to take gaming everywhere they wanted to go.

Coleco Mini-Arcades - Donkey Kong

The early 80’s video game boom saw gaming literally appear everywhere.  Arcade games appeared in every type of public business you could think of while consoles that hooked up to home television sets brought blocky gaming experiences home.

Coleco Mini-Arcades - Galaxian

Capitalizing on this trend combined with the popularity of handheld electronic games such as Mattel’s Football, Coleco began licensing and producing small “tabletop” video games based on some of the most popular games of the day.

Coleco Mini-Arcades - Zaxxon

Despite Atari holding the licenses for home console versions of Pac-Man and Galaxian, Coleco was able to get the rights to produce the Mini-Arcade versions, both of which became top sellers.  A literal parade of hits followed with the addition of FroggerDonkey Kong and Ms. Pac-Man.  A version of Nintendo’s Game and Watch Donkey Kong Junior and a version of Zaxxon rounded out the Coleco line before the mid-80’s industry crash.

Coleco Mini-Arcades - Pac-Man

Rather than make traditional handheld games the Coleco Mini-Arcade games attempted to duplicate the look of the arcade hits right down to the cabinet artwork.  A series of commercials featuring a character named “Mr. Arcade” shrinking full size arcade games down into the Mini-Arcade games drove the point home.  The result was a fun arcade feel that didn’t exist in any home console versions of arcade hits at the time.

Coleco Mini-Arcades - Donkey Kong Jr

The Coleco games are popular collector’s items today.  Some of the later releases saw smaller production numbers and even the more popular releases are difficult to find in good condition after being played to death in their heyday.


Take a look at the slideshow and video to the left to see more about the Coleco Mini-Arcades as either a trip down memory lane or, for younger gamers, a good gaming history lesson.

Patrick Scott Patterson has been a gamer since 1981, acting as a writer, technician and world record holder on several game titles. He has appeared numerous times in the yearly editions of Guinness World Records: Gamer’s Edition. In addition to writing here, Patterson has also written for Yahoo!, Twin Galaxies, VGEVO and Gameroom Magazine, and is always looking for unique and positive news to report from the video gaming world.


Akkanvader - Taito - 1985 - Space Invader Clone

Akkanvader is a Space Invaders clone made by Taito and released in 1995. It is kind of the Japanese lollypop version of the game being all colorful, cute and all, but it is also fun. So you can select from a wide range of characters and each has a different style and ship that you used in the game. However, it doesn’t matter story wise which you select as they all act the same way.

You have five main worlds as well as sub-stages, all very animated with tons of colors of the enemies and the background. A result of this is the game becomes more difficult because you end up having trouble figuring what’s going on.

The game starts out retro style with little colors and looks a lot like the original invaders, but from there more color comes into play and soon you are fighting all types of strange characters never seen in the original game.

Now some other changes with this game is the ability to charge your laser king of like you would in R-type or Megaman. This really is only useful for bosses which is something else that Akkanvader brings to the table.


Expect to see all kinds of weird enemies and even weirder boss as seen in our screenshot gallery below. I guess this is just to make sure you remember it’s a Japanese game.

The Road Review

The Road - Movie

The Road (2009)
Director: John Hillcoat  Starring: Viggo Mortensen, Kodi Smit-McPhee, Robert Duvall, Charlize Theron, Guy Pearce, Michael K. Williams
Certificate: 15  Running Time: 107 Minutes

Tagline: “In a moment the world changed forever”

Let’s face it – as a race, we Humans are pretty stupid. For all our marvelous inventions and innovations, we still have all the violent and aggressive instincts inherited from our less-evolved relatives down through the ages and it’s only a matter of time before we end up destroying ourselves. A good few film-makers have had this notion before and the results have been mixed – for every Terminator or Mad Max there’s been a Steel Dawn or The Postman, but this latest effort comes from a very highly-regarded source. Adapted from Cormac McCarthy’s Pulitzer-prize winning novel of the same name, The Road is another post-apocalyptic drama, but rather than featuring wars or heroic deeds, this film is simply about a man and a boy and their struggle to stay alive.

The Road - Movie

Indeed, the cause of the devastation is never explained although it certainly doesn’t take us long to see what sort of state the world is now in. Some sort of natural disaster is a possible cause but it’s more likely the world’s idiotic leaders engaged in some sort of thermo-nuclear exchange, for the world inhabited by the unnamed Man (Mortensen) and Boy (Smit-McPhee) is a bleak, desolate, and grey one, largely without any hint of redemption. We see glimpses of Man’s past life via flashbacks, both shortly before and shortly after the ‘event’ which wiped out much of the life and all of the civilization on the planet, but a vast majority of the film follows Man’s efforts to lead his son down the road of the title to presumed safety at the coast.

The Road - Movie

Despite being devoid of animal or useful plant life for the most part, however, the world isn’t completely deserted. During their travels, in between foraging in deserted buildings for food or anything useful, they do occasionally encounter other people. Some are in a similar situation to them but others have more sinister intentions, including, of course, armed gangs looking to take food, possessions, even people by force. Being forced to live almost every moment in, at best cautious fear and at worst terror and despair, is something that’s hard to even imagine, but seeing the world through the eyes of Man and Boy, you can understand why his wife gave in a long time ago, and that’s testament to the amazing job by the filmmakers. There are plenty of cameos to be found here (an almost unrecognizable Robert Duvall is particularly good) but understandably dominating the screen time are the characters of Man and Boy, so they needed to be portrayed by top actors.

The Road - Movie

As most of us will know already, Viggo Mortensen is a consistently fantastic actor, and one who takes his roles very seriously, so it’s no surprise to find here that he is thoroughly convincing as Man who, while resourceful and intelligent, also struggles desperately to raise his son in completely unthinkable circumstances. Young Kodi Smit-McPhee, too, exudes both innocence and naivety as vulnerable Boy, but also seems wise beyond his years at times as well. This isn’t a film for the ‘graphics tarts’ – near enough the entire film is shot in gloomy shades of grey and brown, but the way the bleak landscape has been captured does a superb job of conveying the desperate plight faced by the protagonists. Buildings crumble, trees gradually topple, as the world gives up trying to support us and fades into nothing. The film does paint a terrifyingly convincing picture of what life really could be like in such circumstances. It’s hardly a feel-good film and it’s not too re-watchable either, but it’s so well made, and acted and packed with emotion, you’ll be hooked while it lasts.

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RKS Score: 8/10

Star Trek Makes Me Brain Dead



Who knew that remixing the 300 meme with The Wrath of Khan would work so well together?


This is as braindead as braindead gets.

Time for some NSFW Star Trek fun!

The girls are some seriously hot Trekkies!

Who ever knew they were so horny on the USS Enterprise?!

Star Trek Khan!

Marriage: An editorial


Much has been talked about over the last few weeks regarding what is being called, “political adultery”. There are many people out there who have taken this opportunity to talk about the changes in society toward marriage itself. For a long time, people have believed that marriage is becoming less and less important. They say that as the next generation reaches the age of marriage they think less of the commitment and meaning behind it.

I am only thirty-three and not married. I do not profess to be an expert on anything regarding marriage. What I can tell you, first of all, it is not completely accurate to look back at marriages from say the fifties and compare it to today.

Far too often we look back on our history with rose colored glasses. People seem to forget that just because there were laws put in place to give people rights that did not mean that in the home that was what transpired.

Even as women gained more rights in the eyes of the law, in the eyes of their husbands, friends and peers, the change was extremely slow. The idea of an unwed woman over thirty was still unbelievable to many. If a woman was also a mother they were often shunned and ridiculed. Something was wrong with you if you did not at least have a husband and this forced many into relationships that today would never have been.

Once married, there was little women could do. While there were many pioneers and women who were able to accomplish great things, there were also many whose only purpose was to serve the man and take care of the children.

There was little outlet for women to explore education or professional pursuits. An argument could be made that the opportunity was there, but it is one thing to have it available and an entirely another to be able to reach it.

With little to no support by family, friends and their own husbands, many women were forced to just accept their role and deal with such issues as adultery and abuse. Even those who lived lives without such worries were never encouraged or received support to achieve much outside of the home.

To ask for a divorce was unheard of. Many women had no place to go, no outlet. Other women and even family members would encourage wives in horrible marriages to stick with it out of nothing more than how people would perceive them.

A man could walk away from his wife and family with little to no repercussion from his peers, but this was not true for women. Often no matter the reason, the burden was placed upon the wives to do whatever it took to keep the marriage together.

With little chance to make a living and barely any support outside the home, women had no alternative but to remain behind and fight the good fight. I cannot say what the divorce rate would be back then if women had the same opportunities as today, but I think it would be much different than it was.

Today, women have much more chances to make it on their own be it single, married or divorced, but we are not yet out of our embedded mindsets that I believe have lead to marriages that should have never been and divorces that were inedible.

We are still bombarded with the idea that one should be married before age forty. It is understandable that if you wish to have children then being married and actively trying to conceive before age forty makes sense.

However, this can also pressure many into a marriage they are not yet ready for. I have heard many people plan their lives with marriage being on the list of things to do before age thirty. There is nothing wrong with goals, but I believe many, when they near age thirty, feel they must rush things which again can lead to a mistake.

There are women who do not wish to conceive any children, but feel that as they get older they will not find someone they would want to spend their lives with. Often women and men for that matter, feel that dating in their mid and late thirties will only bring in people with baggage, issues and kids from previous relationships.

This has caused many people to look for their marriage partners while in college. They feel it is the best place to find someone the most compatible. I personally know quite a number of people in happy marriages where they found their soul mate in college. The key is communication.

Communication amongst your significant other is paramount, but it is also important with those around you, especially your family. Another cause of what I call, premature marriages, are demanding parents. Due to their beliefs and history they want to see their sons and daughters married and with kids before they are too old or pass on.

In many cases there is nothing wrong with feeling this way and they only have the best interest of their children in mind. However, there are cases were overbearing parents pressure their children into marriages they were not ready for.

I will skip the part of arranged marriages and religion playing a part and return to communication. I have noticed that once someone is married they are much less likely to tell their spouse they have fallen out of love.

Now this happens in all relationships, but it seems that once married the idea of telling someone you vowed to spend the rest of your life with that you no longer love them and want out is much too hard to do.

In the public spotlight this can be even more difficult. As I said before, being looked down upon by your family, friends and peers can cause people to stay in a marriage they would have normally left. It is not honorable to remain in a marriage only to cheat and lie and hide things from your spouse. Even when children are involved, in the end you will end up causing more harm if you remain in a loveless marriage only to dishonor the mother or father of the children.

We as a people have become much more able to walk away from so much more. We can cut ties on many things if it is not working out. When it comes to marriage, many of us cannot cut those ties and instead remain until it causes more pain and suffering than being honest and upfront.

Till death do you part should be reinterpreted to mean until the death of your love for one another. It’s not easy to accept or even think about. Perhaps people believe you have to fight to keep a marriage together. I can understand this to a point, but when you are about to commit an act that dishonors your vows anyway it would be better to sit down with your spouse and talk it out. If in the end the best course is to walk away then so be it.

Many can come to the brink and pull themselves back to live happily ever after. I would hope most could achieve this, but just like standing before a battle you rather not wage, it is better sometimes to just walk away. I believe you can keep the sanctity of marriage by parting on the best terms possible. Sometimes you cannot win them all, but at least you can leave with your honor and the respect of the one you once loved.

Classic Gaming Ads: Head to Head


Acclaim Wireless Controller Ad

Anyone who played games in the late 80’s and throughout the nineties ran across thousands of ads. If you subscribed to any magazines like Nintendo Power or Gamepro you should be familiar with many of these. We bring you an assortment of video game ads from yesteryear from your enjoyment.

Famicomfreak is a classic gaming writer and collector you can view his main blog here – Retro Gaming Life


Grayson Poster

This is another awesome fan trailer. The story behind this trailer is that Batman was killed and Dick Grayson begins retraining to avenge the death of Batman.


One: The Making of a Novel

One - The Novel - J.A. Laraque


There are a ton of stories sitting in people’s heads or on their desks and computers that will never see the light of day. When I was a kid, I spent a lot of time making up stories for my toys long before I put my hands on a video game controller.

When I was in school, I did some early writing, but then dropped off of it and really did not think about it again until I was in my late teens. In between delivery runs, I wrote a novel about the afterlife, which I hope everyone will get to read next year. To think now that I wrote a novel by hand amazes me, even more because I stopped writing again around age 20 and did not write again until age 30.

A good friend of mine had me pick a book to read from her collection and I picked What Dreams May Come. I had already watched the movie and wanted to read the book. I really enjoyed it and read it cover to cover within a few days, something I never did before. I wanted to resurrect that old book about the afterlife and so I began the writing process.

Before I knew it, I had written that novel and a second that was much more action oriented, but also based on the afterlife. Again, I hope to have those out in the future, but during this time, I began thinking about my life and the changes I had undergone.

Even though it had been more than a few years, my mother death was still in my mind more often than I thought it would be. I was lucky because I had many friends who were there to help me even though I felt I could do it all alone. I began to realize that since then I had withdrawn more. Sure, I hung with friends, but I valued being alone and kept thinking it was the best. I even began to think being alone was a virtue and it made me better, stronger. I believed I could adapt to anything life threw my way.

Strangely enough at the same time I turned to humor to make me feel better and had been a longtime member of the comedy site Something Awful. Since I was writing, I hung out in the creative message boards and one day I saw a post asking what would you do if you woke up one morning and everyone disappeared.

What captured my attention was not so much the premise, but that many people replied that they would not be that affected. Some people talked about how it would be fun or that they are alone all the time anyway so they would adapt. It made me think about my own feelings and I realized that most of these people don’t get what being truly alone is.

Later I talked with my sister about the question and told her I wanted to write a story about it. She loved the idea being a horror and Stephen King fan. I told my sister I didn’t want to write your standard last man on earth story and that it had to be about the character not so much the environment. I decided to take a part of my feelings and pull and stretch at it until Timothy was created.

Timothy is a 20-year-old man who believes he is dealing with the death of his father, who just a year prior was killed by a drunk driver. He believes it is his mother Martha and sister Ashley who are putting their own issues onto him. Timothy is smart, perhaps too smart for his own good and having to deal with his family and his girlfriend Christine, believes he just might be better off alone.

The next morning Timothy awakens to a world of one. Now Timothy not only has to find out how everyone disappeared, but why he is suddenly plagued by visions of his recent past. What keeps going through his head is something his sister told him the night before.

When you’re all alone and the only voice you can hear is your own, you find out the truth about yourself.

I wanted this story to be a mystery as well as a tale about how we view our life and how we deal with it. My hope was to put a new spin on these types of stories and when it was done, all I wanted was for people to see it.

The problem is you can never get a story 100% right. You can read it a million times, edit it, have friends and people you do not know read it. However, each time you come back and look at it you will feel something isn’t right. Also, you know there are people who want nothing more than to rain on your parade and no matter how many times you say it does not matter, you do care what people think of your work.

Getting something published is like becoming a movie star. You can be a great actor or not, you can be lucky or you are not. What I mean is there will always be great, new stories out there people will never see for many reasons be it that you are not well known, you don’t know people who can help you, you don’t have money or all of the above.

This is not to say I think my story is great or even new because I frankly do not know. The point is, many people will become discouraged by publishing houses that rather push out books from reality stars than spend the time on an up and coming writer.

What did I do, I stepped away and worked on my other novels. I was scared. Scared to fail, scared it wasn’t good enough, scared to succeed. However, I kept writing and I thought that was good enough. As time went on I came back to the story and polished it over and over, but I was never trained in writing and even with friends who read it for me and helped me edit it, I felt there must be a mistake I missed, a typo, a comma missing, something.

Finally, a good friend told me to just do it. Forget the rewrites and get it out there. Sounds simple and in the end it was. Places like Amazon and Google and even ITunes makes it simple to self-publish. The hardest part is letting go and putting it out there.

There was more editing that I did to try to catch what I could and I formatted it to look good on phones or Kindles or what have you. In the end, I had to let it go and admit I could not do any more. In my heart, I know the story is good, in my mind I assume it is not perfect, but it does not matter because it is out there.

This is the part where I say give me book a look, but honestly not so much because I think it is a great story, even though it is. This is for anyone and everyone who wants to write. I want them to see that a guy who misspells a lot, messes up with grammar and fears criticism can put something out there. I hope if nothing else it makes you say “If he can do it so can I.” I want to see more people self-publish and get their stories out because we know most movies and television have exhausted their supply of decent stories, we need new blood.

No matter what happens I will continue writing. Even writing for these websites and as part of my day job, I get a little bit better. If you need the key to this here it is, keep writing and don’t let your work sit forever. We are all waiting for you.

My book One can be found in the Amazon Kindle bookstore.


Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back

Star Wars - The Empire Strikes Back - NES - Gameplay Screenshot

Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back

In 1992, a follow-up to the original Star Wars NES video game was released, this time based on the next film in the series, The Empire Strikes Back. This entry in the Wars-related video gaming canon was notable for retaining some of the elements of its predecessor while departing in some significant ways as well.


Much like the first 8-bit Star Wars game on the Nintendo Entertainment System, Empire Strikes Back primarily follows the protagonist Luke Skywalker in his efforts against the evil Empire, while featuring some play appearances from other characters from the films as well

Star Wars - The Empire Strikes Back - NES - Gameplay Screenshot

This time, rather than starting in the sandy deserts of Tatooine, Luke begins in the icy expanses of the planet Hoth. Skywalker even begins riding a tauntaun, a kangaroo-like creature, just as in the movie, that you can choose to jettison at any point or continue as far as you wish with it beneath you. Play control remains similar to the first game, with the A button jumping, the B button firing, and Force Powers becoming eventually available via a selection menu screen brought up by pressing Start. One key addition in the controls is the capacity of the blaster weaponry to fire in any of the eight basic directional pad directions (the four cardinals plus diagonals), which although adds an intriguing element of firepower, also seems to give the game designers reason to include crazy-difficult enemies that ebb and dive in chaotic patterns and perhaps take too many shots to kill.

While navigating vast levels, enjoying the occasional cutscene and almost-cutscene, switching vehicles from beasts of burden to outright spaceships, engaging in precision jumping, and pressing the fire button as rapidly as possible, the player is working toward the ultimate goal of confronting Darth Vader in an epic lightsaber duel. In order to get there, crazy-awesome instincts, reaction time, intuition, and other gameplay gifts will be necessary, as this game offers a few less continues than the original and seems markedly more difficult.


Star Wars - The Empire Strikes Back - NES - Gameplay Screenshot

The visuals of this game are of high quality, showcasing the true capabilities of the 8-bit NES home console as it neared the end of its supported run before being eclipsed by the 16-bit Super Nintendo Entertainment System (SNES). As such, the animations are smooth, the enemies are daunting, and there are some noteworthy on-screen appearances that feature head shots of the major players in the Wars mythos. Within the first minute of playing, the player will encounter messages from Han Solo and Obi-Wan Kenobi. As the lasers fly and the space-oriented battles emerge into view, this video game makes it clear that it is aiming for a cinematic experience.


The music, though recognizable in portions, is hit-or-miss. The original score for the Star Wars films, including that for Empire Strikes Back, is among the best in cinema history, yet the digital translation here is thin. Had one not had any attachment to Star Wars, it would take a rather skilled ear to recognize anything special in the digitized tones. The sound effects, too, are a tad generic and overpowering each other at points, with one key exception: This game does feature some nice voice effects, impressive in their historic context of early video game lore.



This was the second and final Star Wars game released on the NES, and for some reason, it feels like it takes a step backward. Maybe it is the slightly more linear gameplay, the seemingly increased challenge, or an intangible “feel” that separates it from the original, but this game is not as fun as the previous. As a two-dimensional platformer, it is decent at best, and eclipsed by many earlier titles from other developers. Some of the portions of the gameplay that are not taking place in a side-scrolling environment are nice, but do not detract from the title’s primary fault: Its immense difficulty. The characters die very easily, there are even more “cheap shots” than the previous Star Wars game, and some inexplicable quirks are in place. For example, in the Hoth ice cave, the wampa monsters (in the film, the wampa is a bigger-than-man, hulking, roaring, imposing Yeti-like animal) are smaller than Luke yet nonetheless pose a significant threat as they nimbly hop over to maul and claw at him. Taking down an AT-AT may be a great experience, but the film-turned-game nabs just two stars out of five.

Eric Bailey is a retro gamer on a crazy quest to write a quality review for every single American-released NES video game over at

The Lobo ParaMilitary Christmas Special

The Lobo ParaMilitary Christmas Special

This is a pretty cool fan made film featuring DC Comic’s the main man, Lobo. Lobo is hired by the Easter Bunny to kill Santa Claus.


The Interview: Johnathan Wendel: Fatal1ty

Johnathan Wendel -Fatal1ty

I’m sure everyone who has played an FPS, RTS or even PVP game in a MMO sees themselves as a pro gamer. Johnathan Wendel, better known as Fatal1ty, is not only a true professional gamer, but also a business man and philanthropist. Last year you saw his gamer profile and Obsolete Gamer had a chance to ask him some questions.

Tell us about your early days of gaming. What was your first video game experience?

First video game experience was playing games like Microsoft Flight Simulator on PC and some Ikari Warriors on the Nintendo.  I did mess around with Atari, but I never owned one.  Mostly played it when I went to friends’ houses, etc.

At what point did you realize you had the talent and want to become a professional gamer?

I guess when I was 18. One of my good friends, Eric Paik, who was a pro gamer and traveled a lot, told me I was very talented and should definitely go to a tournament.  You will win money for sure!  So I saved up about $500 and went off to Dallas, TX and won a qualifier and took 3rd at my very first pro tournament winning $4,550.

Johnathan Wendel -Fatal1ty

So your first professional match was playing Quake 3, what was it like your first time playing competitively? 

Exhilarating!  I was amp’ed every second and wanted to play to my full potential.  It was a do or die experience for my gaming career as I was putting all my money on the line.

Tell us about how you train and prepare for tournaments?

Play about 8 hours a day in the virtual world working on my movement, timing, strategies, fighting skills and hearing the sounds of the game.  I want to be so knowledgeable about the game that if I hear a pin drop or an item picked up from anywhere on the map, I know exactly where my opponent is at all times and where he could be in the next 5 seconds.  Predicting your opponent’s moves is very important.

Personally, what differences do you notice between playing in a tournament solo versus with your team?

I’ve done both extremely heavily but I feel, in a solo environment, you can only blame yourself if you lose.  When you win, you know you won and when you lose, you know you lost.  I enjoy it the best, when the game is in my hands to win or lose.

Johnathan Wendel -Fatal1ty - Motherboard

Tell us about a day in the life when you were actively entering tournaments?

My routine was to play 4 hours, go run 2-3 miles, have lunch, play another 2 hours, relax and play another 2 hours before 4 AM so I could wake up and repeat it the next day.

Many people still don’t understand professional gamers, are there any myths or stereotypes you would want to address?

Most professional gamers are actually in shape and have a pretty good social life in their virtual and real life.  We mostly come from some other competitive sports that we played forever as kids and we’re able to use our skills of hand eye coordination and out thinking our opponents just like we do in our traditional sports.

Which game did you like competing in the most?

PainkilleR was a great game to play because we had a full season where we traveled for almost 18 months, continuously playing all over the world and winning loads of money.  It was also the biggest payday of my career in competitive gaming, taking home $150,000 for the World Tour Finals in NYC.

Johnathan Wendel -Fatal1ty

Do you still have people trying to challenge you to this day?

Yes, I actually go on tour promoting my products to distributors and buyers in different regions of the world, and I do exhibition/show matches for the crowd/press at these events.

What made you want to start Fatal1ty Inc?

I wanted to create a brand that a gamer who lived in the battlefield understood what competitive gamers wanted and needed in order to experience their game at the highest level.  When people shop at the store or online, I want them to know that when they buy a Fatal1ty product, they’re buying a Gaming product.

Thanks for the interview and game on,

-Johnathan ‘Fatal1ty’ Wendel

Blade vs Twilight

Twilight Blade

I can”t stand Twilight, but this video is pretty cool, pitting Blade versus those com est un guide francais entierement dedie au monde des sites de casino en ligne en ligne. sparkle vampires.

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Long live Blade! Fuck Twilight! Even Uwe Boll”s Bloodrayne is a million times better!

Angry Birds

Angry Birds - Mobile Games - Gameplay Screenshot

Angry Birds (2010)
By: Rovio  Genre: Puzzle  Players: 1  Difficulty: Medium
Featured Version: Android  First Day Score: 108,400 (single stage best)
Also Available For: PC (forthcoming), iPhone/iPod, Symbian

You know, the progress of mobile communication technology really has been remarkable. After many years of refusal to conform, I finally had to yield and buy my first mobile phone, and even to this day I’m only on my third phone. I had no intention of ever using any of them to play videogames and, were it not for a quirk of fate, I’d still be using my second phone and continuing to not play games on it! Through much of this time, however, I had been watching, with a certain degree of envy, admittedly, the evolution of the iPhone as a legitimate gaming platform, yet no single game tempted me enough to take the plunge. Until this one.

Angry Birds - Mobile Games - Gameplay Screenshot

Actually that’s not true. I still don’t own an iPhone, despite trying to get one almost purely to play this. I knew from the first moment I saw a shot of this that I wanted to play it, so I found it frustrating that I was apparently unable to. Then, with the aforementioned quirk of fate, my phone was broken. Since it was too old to be fixed or replaced, I was instead given a state-of-the-art (for about five minutes) Android phone for which I found out Angry Birds was due for release. Hooray! Even better, when I was finally able to download it, it was free! This in itself made me very happy, but after all this waiting, was the game actually any good, or had I built it up so much for myself that I was in for a disappointment?
Like most puzzle games, the concept behind Angry Birds is a simple one which doesn’t really need a detailed backstory. Suffice to say, some evil (and for some reason, green) pigs have stolen the eggs belonging to a group of birds. This has understandably made the birds angry who have decided to channel their anger into a direct assault on the pigs who have barricaded themselves in and around various strongholds. It is then your job to launch the birds at the pigs using a large slingshot with the eventual aim of defeating them and reclaiming the treasured eggs. This is achieved either by direct contact, or by causing nearby structures to collapse onto them. Those pesky pigs have built some elaborate defenses though, so it won’t be easy!

Angry Birds - Mobile Games - Gameplay Screenshot
According to the walkthough on the Rovio website, the game consists of five ‘themes’ each comprising of twenty-one levels, but there have been other sets of levels made available to download so the exact number is hard to say, but it’s a lot! Each one features a pig, or pigs, on the right of the level and your slingshot and quota of birds on the left, and there’s usually various obstacles between the two. The structures the pigs are usually protected by are made of glass, wood, or stone, each of which is obviously progressively harder to break through, and are more often than not made of strategic combinations of several materials. To break down/through these structures you have six different types of bird at your disposal.

Angry Birds - Mobile Games - Gameplay Screenshot
The first bird you’ll use is the red one which is a tough sonuvvabitch but doesn’t really do much beyond collide with whatever you fire it at. Next up is the smaller blue bird which will split into three separate birds in mid-air when you touch the screen. After this helpful fellow you’ll encounter the yellow, and possibly angriest of all the birds. A tap of the screen while he’s in flight will see him increase in speed and plummet kamikaze-style in a straight line, causing greater damage. Next is the heavy black bird who self-destructs in a powerful explosion after he makes contact with any structure. Soon after him you’ll meet the white bird who, with a tap of the screen, will drop an egg bomb. Last but not least is the green bird who can reverse his course in mid-air. Each level gives you a pre-set quota of these birds that you can use to defeat all the pigs on that level, and careful planning is needed to make best use of their abilities.

Angry Birds - Mobile Games - Gameplay Screenshot

The pigs have a few tricks up their sleeves too though. The smaller ones barely need a touch to be defeated, but the larger ones are tougher, some of whom are equipped with helmets and armour! Some are so tough you’ll need help to best them. There are often strategically positioned rocks or other objects, for example, which, with a well-placed bird strike, can fall and cause an extensive chain-reaction of destruction. Some levels even have carefully placed boxes of TNT which can be ignited with the strike of either a bird or object of any other kind. The pigs don’t seem to care though, and sit there looking at you, blinking, sometimes grunting, and laughing when your attempts to reach them fail! Completed levels will give you a Star Rating out of three depending on your points, which can be earned for destruction of structures as well as a 10,000 point bonus for any unused birds.

Angry Birds - Mobile Games - Gameplay Screenshot
The first thing I noticed about Angry Birds is how slickly presented everything is. You can breeze through all the menu screens and suchlike in a flash, which might not sound like much but it really is a breath of fresh air, with many games these days, mobile or otherwise, having clumsy interfaces and long loading times. Here, if you fluff up a level, two touches of the screen and a similar number of seconds later and you’ll have restarted it! The visual style used here appeals to me a great deal too. Whilst obviously far from the pinnacle of modern technology, it suits the game perfectly and is very easy on the eye. There’s even some amusing cut-scenes! Whilst there’s no in-game music, the sound is also of a decent quality, with many amusing sound effects befitting the style of the game, and several catchy tunes and ditties on the various screens between levels. All the flashy front-ends in the world can’t disguise a sucky game, but luckily Angry Birds is anything but that.

Angry Birds - Mobile Games - Gameplay Screenshot
The best games on a platform as limited as a mobile phone are ones creatively programmed to make the best use of its unique features, and it’s here that Angry Birds excels. The game was created originally for the iPhone but, since Android devices use near-enough identical technology, it works just as well here. The touch-screen controls are simple and precise and I don’t think it’s possible for the game to work any better. The physics are spot-on too, with partial destruction of some structures leaving the remains teetering and swaying, sometimes taking thirty seconds or more to finally collapse. This is one of those games that you can play for five minutes but often end up playing for hours on end, constantly adjusting your birds trajectory until you get exactly the shot (and ensuing destruction) you want! Even if you manage to finish all the levels on offer, there’s still the challenge of achieving a three star rating for each of them. Angry Birds is such a simple concept but it’s supremely playable and unbelievably addictive. I guess I’m a bit of a sucker for these silly games – I was exactly the same with LocoRoco for the PSP – but everyone should at least give this one a try. Android owners don’t even need to pay for the privilege. Ready. Aim. Fire!

Angry Birds - Mobile Games - Gameplay Screenshot -

RKS Score: 9/10


Retro King Simon is a 36 year old guy from England, and likes lots of stuff, including retro videogames, movies, and anime. You can check out his blog here – Red Parsley.

Where did Piss Poor come from?

Poverty in Victorian BritainWhere did Piss Poor come from?

They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot & then once a day it was taken and sold to the tannery… if you had to do this to survive you were “Piss Poor”

But worse than that were the really poor folk who couldn’t even afford to buy a pot……they “didn’t have a pot to piss in” & were the lowest of the low.

The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn’t just how you like it, think about how things used to be. Here are some interesting facts about the 1500s:

Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and they still smelled pretty good by June.. However, since they were starting to smell… Brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting Married.

Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it.. Hence the saying, “Don’t throw the baby out with the Bath water!”

Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof… Hence the saying “It’s raining cats and dogs.”

There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That’s how canopy beds came into existence.

The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying, “Dirt poor.” The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened the door, it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entrance-way. Hence: a thresh hold.

In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire.. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while. Hence the rhyme: Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old. Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show
off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could, “bring home the bacon.” They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and “chew the fat”.

Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.

Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the upper crust.

Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a wake.

England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive… So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the
coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the graveyard shift.) to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be saved by the bell or was considered a dead ringer.

Aggressors of Dark Kombat

Aggressors of Dark Kombat

Aggressors of Dark Kombat

Today’s gameplay footage comes from the SNK fighter, Aggressors of Dark Kombat. Apparently the English title is meant to parody Mortal Kombat which is weird since it is nothing like the game. The game was released in 1994 and is a pretty standard SNK fighter except for the fact that you could walk into the background. Also, you could use weapons and only use two buttons to fight.

Another change in this game is the health bar which reminds me of the health bar for bosses in Final Fight where it turns from Green to Yellow and then Red before you get knocked out. To this end there is only one round so if you lose it that’s game.


Personally I took note of two characters; one is Kisarah Westfield which is an English tomboy school girl who has a crush on Joe Kusanagi and Bobby Nelson, an African-American kid that uses his basketball to fight. These games were truly the U.N. of its time.

Choplifter HD


I’m always mixed when it comes to retro remakes, especially if it was a game I really used to enjoy.

Choplifter was one of those games I never thought caught on like it should.  While it had a popular run on the old Apple II computers, I really got into the 1985 version from Sega and it’s counterpart on the fledgling Sega Master System.  Sadly, these versions never really came during a time or place that allowed a large audience to see them, forever making a solid game a bit of a footnote to the 8-bit gaming era.

Choplifter HD was released Tuesday for around $15 on the XBox 360, PlayStation Network and PC.  While a big fan of the original, I’m mixed on this modern-day remake.


The Good

We’ll start here.  The good part of Choplifter HD is that they didn’t try to re-invent the wheel.  After a few silly tutorial sessions the game really does feel like Choplifter should feel like in your hands, and the basic point of the game should come naturally to anyone who knows the deal here.

There is a good mix of different choppers and a great amount of detail within each level.  There seems to be one hell of a war going on here and you are flying through the thick of it while on your missions to rescue hostages and airlift folks to safety.  The chopper pilots are a little chatty with decent humor.


The Bad

The controls leave a little to be desired.  I really didn’t expect to have to use every button on my controller for a Chopliftergame and as a fan of the orginals my hands simply did not adjust to the extra steps to turn directions and fly around quickly.

You can’t lay down a steady barrage of fire, either, something else I loved to do in the 1985 arcade version.  Your machine guns overheats and leaves you without any offensive weapon if you try.  While I understand this is realistic, I didn’t grab this game for realism.  I would have preferred a fast-paced shoot-em-up weapon like on the Choplifter helicopter from my youth.


The Ugly

The hostages and enemy soldiers are simply too small.  I understand the word “HD” is in the title but this shouldn’t mean I need a 60″ plasma to see the people.  I squished way too many of the people I’m supposed to be rescuing simply because I couldn’t see them on a fairly large HD set.


The Bottom Line

Choplifter HD feels enough like the original to give old school fans a thrill but still tries to add too many new bells and whistles to a concept that really doesn’t need them.  I would have preferred more of an old-school side-scrolling shooter without so many objectives and controls like the one that used to suck the quarters out of my pocket at the skating rink in the late 1980s.

A fun game that is a casual play at best and should maybe be priced slightly lower.  As much as the name Choplifter still makes my ears perk up, I simply can’t see myself spending near as much time on this as I would have liked.

Patrick Scott Patterson has been a gamer since 1981, acting as a writer, technician and world record holder on several game titles. He has appeared numerous times in the yearly editions of Guinness World Records: Gamer’s Edition. In addition to writing here, Patterson has also written for Yahoo!, Twin Galaxies, VGEVO and Gameroom Magazine, and is always looking for unique and positive news to report from the video gaming world.

Top Five Star Trek Ships

Star Trek Ships

Spaceships are pretty sweet. I want one. Not just some little shuttle craft or cargo ship though – I want one of those ones that looks like a racing car version of spaceship with big guns on it. There have have been some great examples of mean-looking ships, as well as crap or even funny-looking ones in the many sci-fi shows over the years. Star Trek is without question NOT the sci-fi show with the best looking ships, but it is a fantastic show (or ‘franchise’ of shows) that at least has spaceships. There have been lots that were seen in odd episodes here and there and never seen again, but of the major players in the Star Trek universe, here are what I think are the best:

5 – Borg Cube
Borg Cube - Star Trek Ship

Yes, it’s looks pretty unremarkable in itself, but not many ships instantly strike fear into the heart like a Borg Cube! And when you’ve see one in battle, seen how huge and powerful it is, how it rips apart vessels left, right, and centre, you can’t help but be in awe of it. Until Species 8472 came along and effortlessly destroyed 15 of them, of course!


4 – Jem’Hadar Battleship
Jem Hadar Battleship - Star Trek Ship
The weird-looking junkies might be slaves but they’ve sure got some decent kit to play around with. This huge capital ship can easily slice a path through a Federation fleet without even breaking a sweat! Plus, it looks exactly like a big, scary, evil alien ship should – angry, imposing, powerful, and… cool!



3 – Klingon Bird of Prey
Bird Of Prey - Star Trek Ship
Yes it’s small, but it sure packs a mean punch. They rarely attack alone, and a fleet of them are like a swarm of locusts, nibbling away until the target is neutralised, and on many occasions in the past these targets have been some our very own Federation vessels! They look cool, have cloaking devices, and can even land on… umm… stuff. I would be happy to own one of these babies!



2 – Romulan Warbird
Romulan Warbird - Star Trek Ship
There have been a few different ones of these but the one that made its mark on me is this one, first appearing in Next Generation. It’s probably not the most efficient design, what with all the space in the middle wasted, but you don’t often see one of them in trouble in a battle! Its designers clearly wanted to stay with the Roman Empire theme and it works – when one of them decloaks, you know you’re in for an interesting time!



1 – USS Defiant
USS Defiant - Star Trek Ship
Well, they sure took their sweet time but finally the Federation creates a ship that doesn’t suck ass! I know their main interest is exploration and the wussies don’t want to upset anyone by daring to build something powerful, but would it really hurt to build a few actual warships? All those cumbersome, stupid-looking ships with saucers and sticky-outy warp nacelles… Let’s face it, they couldn’t fight their way out of a junk yard. The Defiant, however, is another story. It’s small, maneuverable, and so powerful it had to have its ‘structural integrity field’ modified just so it didn’t tear itself apart! It’s armed with normal phasers and photon torpedoes, but also has fancy new pulse phasers, quantum torpedoes and special armour, and is even equipped with a cloaking device! It was a long time coming, but finally the Federation has a ship that looks cool and can kick ass!


Cosplay: Old Rub-Public

Oh the puns keep flying! So the staff is still taken over by Old Republic and with the announcement of more content it seems little work will get done. The good news is the cosplay department works all night long! This time we bring you Cosplay from the Star Wars universe and not just a bunch of Princess Leias either.



Hitler Doesn’t Like Google+ Search Integration

google plus integration hitler meme

Google is now modifying your search results based on what you and your friends do on Google+. Pretty much this will no longer give you search results based on what’s relevant but more based on whoever spams links on Google+ the most. Hopefully this will just be limited to your friends and not super spammers that hammer Google+ and other social networking and social bookmarking websites all day long. Not only that but it seems that Twitter and Facebook links will be omitted. They are calling all this Google Search Plus Your World.

In its war against Facebook, Google might ruin more of its image by being less of an impartial search engine. Well it’s already not impartial because if you dump a lot of money on adwords your sponsored links can get you top spots on page 1 but that’s just business.

Now that we got the serious part out of the way, let’s see what Hitler has to say about this.

If Hitler and his advisors are right, then Google will start filtering its search even more and that might make people stop using it more.

Here’s a transcript from this hilarious video:

Advisor: “Yesterday Google rolled out a deep integration of Google+ into its search results”
Advisor: “Now when you search, you get results from your Google+ network blended into organic results”
Advisor: “It has royally pissed off Danny Sullivan…”
Advisor: “…and MG Siegler went batshit on his Tumblr”
Hitler: “He’s just trolling for page views…”
Hitler: “He and Arrington are starting a new TechCrunch”
Advisor: “Mein Fuhrer…”
Advisor: “Twitter…”
Advisor: “…Twitter and Facebook are not included in the results”
Advisor: “Now when you search ‘Britney Spears’ you don’t get her Facebook Page”
Hitler: “If you haven’t done a Hangout with Scoble, Vic Gundotra or Ashton Kutcher…”
Hitler: “…leave the room”
Hitler: “What the fuck is ‘Search Plus Your World’?!”
Hitler: “Who came up with that ridiculous name?!”
Hitler: “I bet it was Sergey!”
Hitler: “What the fuck does that guy do that Google anyhow?”
Hitler: “Play Angry Fucking Birds all day?”
Hitler: “I bet I could kick his ass in Cut The Rope!”
Hitler: “Angry Birds is so played out.”
Hitler: “If I see one more kid with one of those god damned Angry Birds hats…”
Hitler: “…I’ll pop a cap in his pig-bombing ass!”
Advisor: “MG Siegler says Search Plus is AntiTrust+”
Hitler: “What do you expect from a monopoly? They are trying to screw Twitter…”
Advisor: “Google said Twitter walked away…”
Hitler: “Did you really think Larry Page was going to let Twitter and Facebook shit all over his front yard?”
Hitler: “Fuck the full Firehose”
Hitler: “Larry knows that Google+ was too late to the social network game”
Hitler: “Sure they let you share animated gifs but how many times did I need to see that fucking squid?”
Hitler: “Now they’re just forcing Google+ down our throats”
Hitler: “Every time I search for something, now I’m going to get some Tom Anderson philosophical bullshit”
Hitler: “Why did he become interesting only after Myspace choked?”
Hitler: “I’ve posted photos of my favorite sunsets on Google+, cat pictures, Hitler videos…”
Hitler: “…and nothing ever happens”
Hitler: “My fucking Klout score is down again today”
Hitler: “I thought if I got in early on Google+ I could kick social media ass”
Hitler: “Now with Search Plus Your World…”
Hitler: “…Google+ is going to be overrun with spammers trying to be your friend so they can rank for STD clinic searches”
Hitler: “Now I’m going to have to get rid of all those Circles I spent so much time building up…”
Hitler: “…just so they don’t pollute my SERPs with useless social crap”
Hitler: “Of course this just points out how monopolistic Facebook is before the IPO…”
Hitler: “Mark Zuckerberg is probably smothering someone with his hoodie right now”
Girl: “Helga, that picture of you from that frat party is on your Timeline”
Hitler: “Matt Cutts is probably saying it’s good for users”
Hitler: “All of the social media douches are probably saying this is going to kill SEO”
Hitler: “It’s definitely going to change the way I share stuff in public”
Hitler: “I just want my old search results back…”
Hitler: “When I search for Katy Perry…”
Hitler: “…I expect to get her Facebook Page and latest Tweets…”
Hitler: “…not her empty Google+ page”
Hitler: “I knew she and Russell Brand wouldn’t last.”

Fake Shadowrun TV Intro


Too bad this is fake because Shadowrun needs to make a comeback rather than die like it”s doing. Yeah, Microsoft killed it with it”s shitty XBox 360 game and FASA is long gone but a lot of people still play it, especially in Germany.

Some awesome fan of the RPG made this great intro to what would be an ideal Shadowrun television show:

The intro looks perfect and uses clips from Gamer, Judge Dredd, Johnny Mnemonic, Legend of the Fist, Natural City, Total Recall, Hackers, The Sixth Day, Strange Days, The Source Code, Free Jack, Babylon A.D, Tokyo Gore Police, Priest, Terminator Salvation, Sleep Dealer, Black Heaven, Predators, Star Trek the Undiscovered Country, Space Truckers, Hellboy, Repo Men, One Point 0 – Paranoia 1.0- Virus 1.0, Blade Runner, Caver”s Gate. The music they used was Animus Vox by The Glitch Mob.

Other than them making it, what more could you ask for? They”re actually making a Shadowrun MMO and we”ll post whatever we can when we find out more on our gaming website


How To Deal With Your Girlfriend Breaking Up With You

Eternal Sunshine Jim Carrey crying
Sorrow of betrayal and lost love

How To Deal With Your Girlfriend Breaking Up With You by Honorabili

Lately the worst break up I”ve ever had happened to me. I”ve never felt so hurt or alone in my life. I”m still dealing with it and there are ways to survive this. Hopefully, you never have to go through this, but if you”re reading this, chances are that you are. I really hope you weren”t.

I watch a lot of movies and there”s three specific movies that will help you get through this. It might hurt to watch them but it”s like having an operation to get rid of a tumor. You should watch these movies in this specific order. Spoilers ahead, so maybe read the title, go watch it then read the rest of the article. If you don”t care, read on anyways.

The first movie you need to watch is Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. The film is about a guy who finds out that his ex-girlfriend paid a company to have him erased from his mind. Once he finds this out he in turn gets the procedure done to him. Fate would have it that they meet again at the beginning/end of the film, when the truth gets uncovered. This movie is useful in our situation because it might help you remember how bad it got and how good things used to be. This will be a make or break movie, which will help you decide whether she is worth or not trying to get back. The solution (dilemma) proposed in this film is that if you are meant to be together, you will be. Should you want to still stay away, read on…

The second movie you must watch is 500 Days of Summer. The movie is about a guy who falls in love for what he thought was his perfect girl and the movie shows you how she (and he as well) end up destroying his life. We see real misery as a shell of a man is left. The movie is brilliantly done and jumps around the different days in the entire scheme of the relationship. The solution proposed by this movie is for you to find somebody else.

The last movie you need to watch is Forgetting Sarah Marshall. This film is about a guy that”s a music writer that was in a relationship with a hot actress and she breaks up with him after cheating on him. He goes on a vacation to Hawaii, where she is vacationing as well, and the whole movie is about him suffering while trying to get over her and finding a better girl that is more compatible with him and appreciates him. Even though it”s not as good a film as the others go, as far as movie making, it probably offers you with the best solution. Sure, it happens magically from the plot because it”s a movie but so long as you are not too negative you may find that you”re a lot better than your ex makes you out to be or feel.

Apart from watching those movies, you will probably spend a lot of time losing sleep, wanting to drink, wanting to do anything else but think but you can”t stop it. You might even not want to eat and would do what some consider fasting. A lot of stuff you like, whether playing video games or driving or whatever will not interest you. This is a dark lonely place but you still have yourself, your best friend. None of your friends will probably understand exactly what it is that you”re going through. They didn”t live through every single memory you have of her so any advice they provide should be taken with caution as it might be based on false information. Only you really know what happened…

So, what have I been doing? Well the first thing I started to do again is a lot of exercise. See, it helps and hurts but mainly it helps. I go walking and running a lot, alone. This is bad in the sense that I spend a lot of time thinking about what just happened but it”s good in the sense that I”m getting fit again and after a lot of hard exercise, every morning I keep waking up feeling better and better. Do it for yourself. It will go a long way to for your body chemistry to make you feel better in the process of finding a new girlfriend. Hell, even if you want to get back with your old one, she might see you as a new man and might take you back. I”m not saying it”s the right thing to do, but just something that might help you out.

Listen to a lot of music and rest. I guess love failing feels a lot like Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Make sure you are well rested every day, even if it”s really hard to sleep. Stay productive, but I”m not saying run away from your problems. Go back and do everything that you put aside because of the relationship. You need help now, and it”s no time to sit by and just be totally miserable. Do it for yourself. Girls love a man who makes his own destiny.

Do things that show you that you can still feel good about your life.

I hope I helped you. If you have any questions, leave me a comment or email me at

500 Days of Summer

500 Days of Summer poster

(500) Days of Summer (2009)
Director: Marc Webb Starring: Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Zooey Deschanel, Geoffrey Arend, Matthew Gray Gubler, Chloe Moretz

Certificate: 12 Running Time: 91 Minutes

Tagline: “Boy Meets Girl. Boy Falls In Love. Girl Doesn’t”

I’m sure we’ve all been in the uneviable situation that faces Tom (Gordon-Levitt – 10 Things I Hate About You) in this unconventional rom-com from Marc Webb – that being, his unrequited love for new work colleague, Summer (Deschanel – Yes Man, Failure To Launch). He is attracted to her immediately upon meeting her, a new employee at the greeting card company at which he has an unfullfilling job, but thinks her out of his league. That is until a chance encounter in the office elevator which reveals they have the same taste in music (in this case, The Smiths). And so begins their relationship, building slowly from friendship. But will she ultimately feel the same way as Tom?

500 Days of Summer screenshot 1

The story is told over the titular 500 days, which indicates the period of time since Tom met Summer. They are not followed in any order and the films flits backwards and forwards between them showing at the one end, the good times as the new couple enjoy drunken karaoke sessions, a magical Ikea adventure, and long blissful conversations about nothing in particular, and at the other end, Tom’s broken heart and moping around after their breakup.

The problem is, Tom is one of those people who believes there is one true love out there for him, a soulmate. Summer doesn’t. Tom has spent his life patiently waiting for this one person he believes he will spend the rest of his life with. Summer casually goes from one day to the next without worrying too much about anything. Granted, it doesn’t sound like the ideal recipe for a relationship, but upon meeting Summer, Tom believes he’s met ‘The One’. Knowing the relationship doesn’t last from early on in the film’s run time doesn’t harm the enjoyment of the proceedings too much as the two main characters are appealing, and besides, the film starts off on ‘Day 488’, which still leaves 12 days for them to possibly reconcile!

500 Days of Summer screenshot 2

Despite their diametrically opposing philosophies on love, both characters are very likeable. They each know how the other feels from the start, and neither makes any promises to each other. Helping to endear us to these characters are fine perfomances from the two leads. Joseph Gordon-Levitt will really have you rooting for Tom, and Zooey Deschanel, having recently progressed to leading roles, is making a career out of her, presumably natural, kooky deadpan demeanour, and her Summer, whilst not the quirkiest character she’s played so far, is intriguing and has seldom been lovelier. They have able support too, with McKenzie and Paul as Tom’s two best friends and, Rachel, his wise-beyond-her-years kid sister.

Overall, this is a really entertaining film with decent, if unspectacular, perfomances and likeable characters, which are equally important in my opinion. It has a slightly unsatisfactory ending, but it doesn’t gloss over the imperfections of the protaganists and seems to flourish in the details that many other rom-coms skip over in favour of more grandiose set-pieces (although there is a fantastic song and dance sequence here). Also important, in my opinion, is the soundtrack, which, I’m pleased to say, is top-notch here. Featuring both songs by the likes of The Smiths (naturally), Feist, and Regina Spektor, as well as a decent score, it sets the mood well, although the film does occasionally also use an out-of-place voiceover which pops up now and then just as you’ve forgotten that it exists. This is the first feature from Marc Webb, formally a music promo director, and it bodes well for upcoming projects from him.

RKS Score: 8/10

Definition: Wigger


I think it should be pretty simple, when you say you talk white the term “talk white” 99% of the time means proper English and when you say someone is acting black 99% of the time they mean it in a negative way. Just because black people use and accept this doesn’t make it ok. I personally know many black people who have a defeatist attitude and for the most part look down on themselves.

I am black and I can speak as well as anyone else, people would say I talk white and when I asked them what that meant they said it meant speaking proper or good English then I asked them what does talking black mean and they got quiet.

People especially now a days like to pretend that anything PC is bad because PC has been over done, people also like to pretend that words shouldn’t mean anything but they do and just because a black guy may say I don’t mind being called the “N” word that doesn’t make it right.

You ask people what it means to act ghetto most will say acting black when you ask them what does it mean to act black they don’t want to answer. What this means is they know they are making derogatory comments about blacks, but if they never use the word black or African American then they can pretend they are not saying something negative.

I am also shocked that people are so surprised over the why some black people call each other the “N” word; it is not that hard to figure out. You ever see someone get extremely pissed if you make a joke about someone’s mother while others will fire off mother jokes like it doesn’t matter?

The same thing applies to the “N” word, it’s wrong to use no matter how you try to spin it but some just have more respect for themselves than others and some understand the origins of the word and how it really can affect people and they will not use it even in jest. Either way you would never use a mother joke on a stranger would you? Maybe you can get away with saying a mother joke to a friend but try it on a stranger and you will most likely end up in a fight.

We can all sit here and pretend that caring about words and labels are silly because only our actions matter but we all know we don’t live in that world yet. It does matter, when you have the word wigger openly used you are one letter away from saying the “N” word and no spin can change that fact. If you really believe that black people are the “N” word then go ahead and call a white person who “act’s black” a wigger. You may not agree but if you are ever in doubt use the mathematic formula.

If wigger = white person acting black then w = white and igger = acting black, since we all know igger is The “N” word then the “N” word = acting black so black = the “N” word. So every time you say wigger you are saying all blacks are the “N” word it’s plain and simple.

I can see that by reading what I wrote it may seam like I think everyone is racist but that is far from the case. My main point is that people should care about their words and really understand them before saying them.

This goes for all races, as I said I grew up with Blacks, whites and Hispanic people and have seen what it is like on those three sides and there is racism on all three of those sides. But I to do not like to fire off calling people racist because just like calling people Hitler its over used and often people don’t really understand what they are saying.

Labels and stereotypes go hand in hand it’s true when I hung with my black friends most of the time we played basketball and football but it wasn’t only blacks around, also each group had their own slang.

Even in Spanish there are different dialects and often a Cuban person will think a Mexican person’s Spanish is slang and theirs is correct and a person from Puerto Rico will think a Cuban’s way of speaking Spanish is slang.

The thing is there is a culture and a way of doing things that makes black people unique like all other races the problem is that some people take the wrong aspects and associate them saying it is black culture.

Speaking broken English is not black culture, neither is selling drugs, joining gangs and miss-treating women, every race/culture has done this, hip hop and its lifestyle is not the same as black culture just as surfing and skateboarding is not white culture.

People will watch a rap video and since most rap is performed by blacks they believe that rap is black culture but they are wrong, being “hip hop” is not being black, black people can choose to act “hip hop” but they are not born that way.

This is where the problem with labels come in, you see someone living in a project and they get on T.V. and they say they love it, and that they sell drugs and drive in pimped out cars and pimp hoes and they say that’s living ghetto.

So that impression is made since the man who said all this is black that acting ghetto is acting like the man you saw saying all that. From there it grows until acting ghetto is acting black. That’s where the problem comes in.

So later you see someone driving down the street in a pimped out car and you say “Man that is ghetto” and you think you said nothing wrong but you know that people equate ghetto with black so you just said something negative towards all blacks not just the person in the car.

The same with the word wigger, you see someone rapping and dressing in the “hip hop” style and you say he is a wigger. You think you really didn’t say anything bad, you may even think you are defending “hip hop” saying that white people shouldn’t be able to be “hip hop” but that is incorrect.

“Hip hop” is not only for black people it is for everyone, I listen to rock music and video game music and have even dressed the part, but when I went to a disturbed concert no one had a label for a black person who like to dress and listen to rock music. Perhaps they might have called me alternative but that would be the most they would say.

I know that was long winded but I am trying to make it clear that its not a matter of you are a racist if you say these words but understand what those words and labels really mean and know what you are truly saying when you speak those words and ask yourself are you really saying something positive or negative.