True Stories from the Files of Support Chat: War of the Battletoad
The following is a real transcript from a chat. The names and specific company information were changed to protect..well myself.
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Game Reviews
All our gaming categories under one banner.
Car Surfing Fail
Do you remember car surfing, maybe it is still done I don’t know, but it was a craze a few years back. Car surfing is where you climb out and on top of your car or truck while it is in motion. Car surfing is very stupid and it can be dangerous as shown in these videos.
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The Stereotypes Song
What do you get when you mix in political corrects, stereotypes, Japanese tentacle porn and sheep humping with a beat, you get a pretty awesome video from vocalist Ray Johnson and his band, Your Favorite Martian.
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Super Mario World
The game that came out with the SNES release was really something out of this world. If Super Mario Bros 3 took the NES to the next level, Super Mario World gave the SNES a good start. This game is huge and I mean the name says it for itself, “world” is actually an entire world in the Mario universe. Lets move forward to the gameplay. The game is your typical Mario game but there is so much more going on including new power ups. Of course, you have your mushroom and fire flower but this time around you can also get a feather that’ll help you fly something like the leaf power in Mario 3.
Read MoreDC Nation: Cartoon Network
DC Nation: A multi-platform, branded block of original programming and exclusive content based on the DC Comics library of legendary character properties, DC Nation is developed in partnership with Cartoon Network, Warner Bros. and DC Entertainment. The all-new venture will harness the publishing, theatrical and television assets together for one powerful on-air block on Cartoon Network with exclusive online content.
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Captain America: The First Avenger Trailer
Everyone has been waiting to see how this movie would look and considering the original Captain America movie there are many skeptics. Well, the wait is over as The First Avenger trailer is here and in HD.
Read MoreRPG Sex
Despite this, RPG sex is definitely lacking. The real problem seems to be a distinct lack of sex rules, that would seamlessly integrate the whole carnal experience into the game world. Rules that would intrigue the average Game or Dungeon Master. Rules covering such topics as Inter-Species Fertility, The Wild Thing or Sexual Psionic Powers. Rules that would be free.
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Cobra Triangle
Graphically, Cobra Triangle is fairly average in my view. Granted, I have little to compare it to from personal experience but things look pretty basic here. Backgrounds are largely featureless and pretty repetitive, although both they and the water do change colour every few missions (the ice level looks nice). The sprites are pretty nicely drawn, though a bit small, and their animation is somewhat lacking. They all look similar from what I’ve seen too,
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All Star Superman
I liked the fact that we got to see heroes that most cartoon watchers would not have seen in Samson and Atlas 2, but even that “love triangle” between them seemed forced and too fast. The worst offense of rushing a story came when the Kryptoians showed up. One moment they are remaking Metropolis and backhanding Superman and the next, they are dying and had to be sent to the Phantom Zone. I just believe if given more time a really good story could have been told about those two.
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Die Antwoord: Enter The Ninja
We had a lot of people asking for Enter the Ninja, Die Antwoord’s most famous song so here it is.
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Apprentice Deluxe
Do you know what the difference between a “review” and a “critique” is? No? Yes? Good for you. You can skip the rest of this paragraph. If your answer was no though, all I can do is provide you with my (very personal and quite copyrighted) view: A review is a critique from a consumer’s point of view. It is there to tell you if something is worth the money it will cost you. A critique on the contrary, judges something on its own and usually on its artistic merits alone, without taking price into consideration. On the other hand, computer games tend to be reviewed, as is customary and as they are considered inferior to -say- movies or apparently novels. So what shall I do with ‘Apprentice deluxe’? It is a PC game (an adventure to be more precise) and it is freeware. Should I review it? Critique(sp.) it? Take it out for a beer? What?
Read More15 Foods I don’t eat and why
Another thing women love that I don’t get. Like green peppers, the taste and SMELL of vinegar neutralizes whatever the fuck you put it on. We used vinegar to color our eggs back in the days of yore and strife. Especially blasphemous is balsamic vinegar, which you can smell from a mile away. I don’t give rimjobs to skunks, so I’m not consuming balsamic vinegar. I do not take vinegar pills. Do they even exist? Don’t answer, I don’t care.
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Talisman Returns
“Talisman is a cult fantasy board game for 2 – 6 people. Players control a myriad of characters from a heroic warrior to a powerful sorcerer. In this perilous adventure, play centres around the journey of these gallant heroes to find and claim the Crown of Command, a magical artifact with the power to destroy all rivals and make the bearer the true ruler of the kingdom.”
Read MorePicture Proof: The Difference Between Men and Women
This picture is titled, Life Explained from Cliff Pickover and pretty much nails the difference between men and women. If there was anything I would change is add a button to the men side because women are always pushing our buttons, am I right folks?
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Puttanopoly
An Italian adaptation of Monopoly, that does to board games, exactly what Pimp: The Backhanding (by none other than the prestigious White Wolf of Vampire fame) did to card games. Unfortunately, it’s only in Italian. Still, the idea is internationally understood. Be a hooker, avoid evil pimps, get to the rich customers, avoid Jack-the-Ripper wannabes and cops and (that’s the Monopoly bit) protect and expand your turf.
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Robin Hood
To be honest, this isn’t the film I was expecting it to be when I first sat down in the theatre. As far as I’m aware, there are two versions of the Robin Hood legend doing the rounds. One has him as an aristrocrat turning to crime after losing his wealth. The other has him as a commoner taking up the fight to help those around him. This film goes the way of the latter, making him a lowly archer in the Plantagenet army before becoming embroiled in matters beyond his control, resulting in unintended outlaw status.
Read MoreBubble Bobble
One of this game’s many memorable points is that it jointly holds the record with its own sequel as one of the most fruit laden game ever (this is a good thing)! Items are spilled on a platform somewhere in the level every time an enemy is vanquished and other items appear seemingly out of nowhere now and then. There is an enormous amount of them to be found, some of which are very useful, particularly the umbrella which skips several levels, and there are power-ups and various kinds of screen-clearing smart bombs too.
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