True Stories from the Files of Support Chat: War of the Battletoad

The following is a real transcript from a chat. The names and specific company information were changed to protect..well myself.

[00:00:00] Hi, my name is Agent 101.. How may I help you?
[00:00:11] Agent 101.: Hello Customer 101
[00:00:15] Customer 101: Hey
[00:00:27] Customer 101: I need a good computer
[00:00:28] Customer 101: cheap
[00:00:31] Customer 101: though
[00:00:39] Customer 101: but can play my favorite games
[00:00:53] Agent 101.: You looking for a desktop or a notebook?
[00:01:00] Customer 101: notebook
[00:01:21] Agent 101.: What budget are you leaning towards?
[00:01:32] Customer 101: 800-1000
[00:01:35] Customer 101: the won’t let us play “violent” games like counterstrike and halo at school anymore
[00:01:38] Customer 101: so i need a good computer
[00:02:13] Agent 101.: Ok here is one that might more (Attaches link)
[00:03:23] Customer 101: now i dont make that much money, my stupid wife spends it on crack and gambles on games of battletoad
[00:03:53] Agent 101.: Oh
[00:03:58] Customer 101: i need a durable one so that when the battletoads attack i can defend ourselves it get crazy around here
[00:04:10] Customer 101: but will i be able to play games like diable 2
[00:04:48] Customer 101: i just want to beat that game, last laptop i broke because diablo raped my ass and i just got so angry i threw it at the wall
[00:04:55] Customer 101: broke into lil pieces
[00:05:19] Customer 101: i dont want to spend 1000 bucks on a laptop that will break inone lifeless throw
[00:05:22] Customer 101: ya know
[00:06:02] Agent 101.: Oh
[00:06:08] Customer 101: oh indeed
[00:06:22] Customer 101: i need your advice
[00:06:23] Customer 101: please
[00:06:33] Customer 101: i cant keep waiting our money on laptops
[00:07:16] Customer 101: somthing that can withstand the strength of a battletoad
[00:07:22] Customer 101: from the mighty planet of ragnarok
[00:07:52] Customer 101: once they called me gay and ran off
[00:07:56] Customer 101: really hurt my feelings
[00:08:24] Agent 101.: I recommend this computer
[00:08:25] Agent 101.: attaches link
[00:08:55] Customer 101: looks pretty bad ass
[00:09:22] Agent 101.: It’s a fantastic system
[00:09:26] Customer 101: now
[00:09:30] Customer 101: they are immune to the color blue
[00:09:35] Customer 101: what can you do about that
[00:09:46] Customer 101: they are attracted to the color
[00:09:48] Customer 101: ya know
[00:10:20] Customer 101: once i mated with a female and produced an animal
[00:10:31] Agent 101.: In accordance with Internet Privacy and Harassment Act, I am to inform you that you’re IP, location and ISP are being monitored and logged. This chat is recorded and forwarded to your ISP’s anti-spam department. You will be receiving a notice from your ISP concerning your connection to this chat room detailing the contents of this chat.
[00:10:46] Customer 101: ohhhy maa gaddddd
[00:10:53] Customer 101: WHAT HAVE THEY DONe
[00:10:56] Customer 101: BARRREL ROLL
[00:11:04] Customer 101: TEHY ERE COMMINGIN FOR US AS
[00:11:08] Customer 101: RAGGGNARNRORKK
[00:11:19] Customer 101: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU]\
[00:11:23] Customer 101: disconnected
[00:11:27] Agent 101.: disconnected

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