comedy

Brought to you by: I

You might be too young to know this and it saddens me that I know this so well but back in the day before many television shows they would tell you who their sponsor was. The show would tell you; “This show is brought to you by…” and following that would be some images of some product or company and their tag line. Well, Obscure Internet is bringing that back internet style with a new series of screen captures that are just a bit off, enjoy. [...]

J.A. Cares: The Banned Bachelor

Unemployment is just too much fun which is why there hasn’t been a new post since like forever. However, as the e-mail inbox continues to stack up (all spam) it’s time to get back to work. Since we are in wedding season I decided to try and help (ridicule) someone who is having a problem with a bachelor partyMen have lost the middle ground. We seem to have two levels now, complete pussy and raging abusive asshat. There has to be a middle ground where we make our opinions clear and stand up for what we want. You must search for your balls and even if you find them in her heart shaped box you can still reattach them. If you don’t do this now you will end up hating yourself and her in the end. On the flipside, don’t be a hypocrite. If she wants to go to Chippendales or whatever then you can’t turn all emo on her. Communication is key, you can do it now or when your divorce lawyers meet, the choice is yours. [...]

J.A. Cares: Whats the Matter with Kids

People are calling her Dora the Whorer now because they believe giving her a sexier look and moving to the big city with a monkey is… well, maybe they are onto something. I wonder what she will be exploring in the city. Perhaps she can help lost hookers and Boots can become a pimp? I have to wonder what Swiper will be swiping now, purses, cars, virginities. [...]

J.A. Cares: Suing McDonalds

My advice to you is, find a local television station and get them to put your story on the air. Next you send a lawyer over to McDonalds and get them to pay you a few million dollars even though this is completely your fault. They paid the coffee spilling lady so they will pay you. Next, dump your wife claiming she cheated on you with one of the people who saw her picture. Finally, cash the check and open your own porn site where you paid sexy women to take bad camera phone pictures and upload them. You can claim they are stolen and rake in the cash because at heart most of us are perverted bastards. [...]