It’s your Email

Welcome to the first edition of “It’s your email”, which despite the title has nothing to do with Chris Evans or Reef. It is in fact your opportunity to comment and quiz the ObscureInternet staff on whatever you want.

Smart Arse
Having a GCSE in maths, I know that equation can also be expressed as 2(RBQ)=BA. Therefore, while undergoing a series of difficult written tests for a job interview yesterday, I simply read the questions twice, and left the exam room a good hour before my still-writing rivals, chuckling smugly as I did so. I’d like to thank you for your assistance in getting me this job, which I feel must surely now be mine.

Ed- Thanks, for, that.

Smart Arse 2
To tap “the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog” in Morse requires 104 strokes, but only 85 (including spaces) in text. Now where did I leave my anorak…

Ed- In the corspe of you dead mother/lover?

C-Word
My 18-month old baby has started to say the c-word to passers-by. What can I do?
-Denzil Granger

Ed- If you mean “Can’t” then say: “Oh yes you can!” Hopefully you will then spend a happy five minutes in a pantomime “can-can’t can-can’t” argument. If you mean “Cunt” write this child off and give it up for adopition.

It’s me, baby pigeon
And where do baby pigeons come from? I’ve only ever seen them in the movie Big Foot and the Hendersons.
-John Airey

Ed- The pigeons we are accustomed to seeing ARE baby pigeons. Fully grown pigeons are ferocious beasts with a wingspan of 30m and a body the size of a family car. Interestingly, it is these adult pigeons that seem so good at remaining hidden from view.

Original Mockney
Dick Van Dyke’s accent in Mary Poppins: iconic as DVD’s performance undoubtedly is, I don’t think he’s being accorded his proper historical significance here. Dick is nothing less than the Father of the Modern Mockney. Without him, there would simply be no Jamie Oliver etc.

Ed- Good point, terribly made.

If you any comments or questions, please send them to Itsyouremail@Obscureinternet.com

-Glen

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J.A. Laraque

J.A. Laraque is a freelance writer and novelist. His passion for writing mixed with a comedic style and intelligent commentary has brought him success in his various endeavors. Whatever the subject, J.A. has an opinion on it and will present it in writing with an insight and flair that is both refreshing and informative.