EQ2 Has The Worst Players On Erf!

Everquest 2, you know I love you girl, but these fools that be playin’ you… damn girl. You are littered with them! Horrible, atrocious, vomit inducing players run amok on the fair lands of Norrath like ticks sucking on, well, their own suck!

Oh boy, here we go! Another biased opinion about a game and the one isolated event that brands an entire community. Go back to WoW, fag! Lolololololol

Shut up, baby doll. Daddy’s talking.

I have played many, many MMORPGs. The kind of person who would rather play solo than mingle with the masses is not how one would describe this guy right here, the Great Umar Khan. Nope. I like to get involved with the community. I like to remember names, experiences, and how well I match with certain people in a team based environment. 1999, fellas! No yearlong breaks from the genre. I’ve slutted my way into many a community with my impeccable social and gaming skills.

You come off as an asshole!

Bollocks, I say!

Back on topic, of all the games I’ve played, loved, and also “hit it and quit it”; Everquest 2 has some of the worst players in any MMORPG. Despite my feelings for EQ2, her only flaw in my eyes are the ones who entertain themselves on a daily basis with her company.

Warcraft has the worst players, you homo!

Quiet, you anti-Semite!

That doesn’t even-

Someone mentioned my name!

I’m not saying that all players in EQ2 are bad. Every game has bad players but EQ2’s players are in a league of their own. Bertoxxulous really outdid himself with his latest plague of stupid and unskillfulness that has infected the playerbase.


As a troubadour, should I be out DPSing the wizards? If your answer is a yes with a hint of implied inquiry in the tone then you should understand the absurd level of shock I had leveling my flamboyant bard on the Permafrost server. More often than none was I the top DPS of the group or only outdone by a Shadow Knight tank. Very few came close to my numbers unless I was in the rare group where someone wasn’t busy watching their kids.

House wives, why are they even allowed to be playing EQ2? Shouldn’t they be busy playing Sims and Farmville? They have no place in trying to understand parses and pie charts from ACT. They can barely grasp how a Chocolate Cow in Farmville produces Chocolate Milk. Here’s a hint. IT’S A FUCKING CHOCOLATE COW!

The skillfulness to push buttons in a certain order isn’t even as mind blowing as the level of stupidity that sums up the vastly growing amount of total shit tanks in the level 70 range. How stupid can they be? One occasion I remember better than the others would be of the tank I kept asking to repair. We were at The Estate of Unrest and this gallivanting Berserker of worldly renown (/sarcasm off) had destroyed armor. I don’t know if its because he tried to tank while using a 2handed weapon despite our pleads for mercy or his claims that he could tank Bugaboo notwithstanding numerous attempts ending with the monstrous haunt face planting our tank into an early grave but this underdeveloped Neanderthal stood out like a golden ring at the bottom of a clear riverbed. We were all in the voice chat channel and finally his slack jawed Midwest accent began to wear thin on my patience. Stupidity spewed forth from his mouth like shit from my asshole after eating at Chipotle. How he managed to even understand how to set up his headset astounds me to this day.

“Hey dude, your armor is broken. Go repair. We’ll wait for you.”


“Multiple pieces are 0%. You can’t tank like that especially when you’re using a two-hander.”


“Because your durability has gone down the drain. Just go repair. I’ll go with you. I can teleport us back.”

“WAH can’t I tank with a Two-Hander if my armor is broken? I don’t get WAH!”

“Are you fucking with me right now?”

I’m cutting the reiterated blabbering short but to sum it up, I eventually convinced him to go repair after 5-6 minutes.

God, this editorial is getting long and I hope you’re still with me because there is more!

The community in EQ2 believes it to be okay for people to go AFK during a dungeon crawl. I can’t even count with the fingers on my hands and toes on my feet how many times we had an AFK leecher in our group. If it’s a guy, there might be someone bringing up the occasional “lol is this guy coming back?” But Lord forbid if it’s a fucking woman, though! She will AFK the entire session or return right before the boss. She’ll join the fucking group and then say “Hey guys, I’m cooking dinner at the same time. Give me a second.” That second turns to minutes, minutes into hours, hours into days, and days into eons! An exaggeration? Perhaps! But a bitch shouldn’t join a fucking group if she has something else to do! “Oh hey guys! What are we doing? Crushbone? Okay I’ll be the healer. By the way, I gotta drive to the corner market for a second! Don’t kick me :)”

Fuck! There are just so many other instances where this category of shit has happened to me in only EQ2 but I don’t think I can get into all of them with my trademark long winded bantering! Fuck it all to hell!

I know I could easily deny myself of these experiences if I only made my own group and wrote off some of these people with my own iron fist ruling. Trust me, I have! I don’t take shit when I’m group leader. I don’t like having my time wasted while someone is eating shit in real life. This is my break before real life kicks in and you’re ruining those precious few hours I have. There are just sometimes where it’s easier to join an already forming group than taking the reins into your own hands.

Some of you may not agree. You might feel that my little experiences are biased and that I must hate women, that I’m a fat virgin. Maybe you’re right. Maybe you’re wrong. And maybe, just maybe, you’re a cum dumpster too! If that’s the case, EQ2 is the game for you.

Obscure News: Horse Herpes

Horse Herpes

From our Obscure News desk, we find this story of a Horse herpes outbreak that forced rodeo queen to ride stick ponies instead of their real ones.


Got a weird, funny or obscure news story or video? Send it to us and we will credit you for the find.


Torchwood: Miracle Day Trailer II

Torchwood mircale day

Here is a new and longer trailer for Torchwood: Miracle Day.

[youtube width=”600″ height=”480″]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uVktcOQD1zA[/youtube]

About Torchwood: Miracle Day
Torchwood begins with a day when nobody dies. All across the world, nobody dies. And then the next day, and the next, and the next, people keep aging, they get hurt and sick, but they never die. The result: a population boom, overnight. With all the extra people, resources are finite. It’s said that in four month’s time, the human race will cease to be viable. But this can’t be a natural event – someone’s got to be behind it. It’s a race against time as C.I.A. agent Rex Matheson investigates a global conspiracy. The answers lie within an old, secret British institute. As Rex keeps asking “What is Torchwood?,” he’s drawn into a world of adventure, and a threat to change what it means to be human, forever.

The Sentey Arvina GS-6400B

Sentey Arvina GS-6400 1

The Sentey Arvina GS-6400B

There has always been a debate over building versus buying a gaming computer and even those who have decided to build have a hard time agreeing on the right parts. I found myself wanting to put together a new gaming computer, but like most of us am on a budget and wanted to find parts that were good, but not wallet busting.

I decided to start with a case and in my search made the decision to blog about my progress as I slowly built my gaming system. I wanted to start with a case and after seeing an article on the Arvina GS-6400 in Maximum PC, I decided to give them a call to check it out for myself.

I was delighted to find someone from what I call “The class of Alienware”. Fabian Santiesteban, VP of Sales and Marketing for the U.S. and Canada for Sentey he was  also a Vice President and General Manager of Alienware computers for over 12 years before taking his talents to Velocity Micro and finally to Sentey. I knew with his experience he could help me with the information I was seeking. I decided to go beyond a review of the Arvina GS-6400 and ask about Sentey as a company itself and Fabian was more than happy to answer my questions.


Obsolete Gamer: Where does the name Sentey come from?

Fabian: The name originated in Argentina. It is just a creative concept without any specific association or relation.

Obsolete Gamer: How did Sentey begin?

Fabian: Sentey began ten years ago. The Company has been active in the US market for two years.

Obsolete Gamer: Why did you want to make the move into the American market?

Fabian: As we were successful in South America, Sentey wanted to bring that same spark to the United States. We knew this would be a challenge, but with a history of success in Argentina, Brazil and Peru, we felt we could bring this same spark to the North American market. So far, the results of this endeavor have been outstanding

Obsolete Gamer: Can you tell us about the importance of having the right case?

Fabian: Sentey’s unique style is geared for the demands of the serious gamer, but at the same time our products make an elegant center of attention at any lan party or family’s entertainment center. Sentey cases have a ton of space, it has lots of expansion and tons of modding potential. Roominess is important to keep hot components running cool. Our cases are designed to operate noiselessly and effectively move a lot of air. Sentey is quality built to last.

Obsolete Gamer: What products specifically would you want gamers to know about?

Fabian: Sentey aims at establishing a new level of quality and performance by paying attention to the users’ needs. Our case designs serve their purpose in a smart, precise and reliable manner. Our power supply units meet the highest demands in terms of performance and quality. Sentey sells great gaming cases and power supply units at an affordable price.

Obsolete Gamer: Where can we find your products?

Fabian: Sentey products can be found via distribution channels as well as retailers such as Newegg, Micro Center, Ma Labs, Xoxide and others.

Obsolete Gamer: Where can we see Senty products, do you plan to be at more conventions?

Fabian: In 2011, Sentey representatives will be attending Pax West with various partners showcasing our products.

Obsolete Gamer: Can you tell us about what is coming up next for Sentey, a scoop perhaps?

Fabian: Currently, Sentey is focused on cases and power supply units. Before the end of the year Sentey will be marketing branded ATI cards. This product will be sold on-line via etailors as well as retail. There are no specifics on models yet, but there will be something for everyone. We are always looking ways to expand our product line and there are more surprises lined up for next year.

[youtube width=”600″ height=”480″]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JMuaGehdiKI[/youtube]

The Review

So I had my information on Sentey as a company, now I wanted to test out their gaming case for myself. The first thing I took notice of was the price, at $99 it was a great price for my budget, but I wanted to make sure that the price point did not leave me with a lesser product.

I have been building PC’s since 1997 and seeing the Arvina made me think of the days of larger stronger cases before small form factors came along. The case type is called “high tower” the name fits because the case it tall, but not that wide. At dimensions, 21.65 (L) x 8.43 (W) x 20.47 (H), you will have more than enough room inside to build almost any type of system with enough room for proper airflow and cooling options.

The steel chassis is extremely solid as are the side panels, which have 1mm of steel. The plastic outer panels are glossy giving it a sleek shinny look. However, fingerprints can show up especially in a well-lit room, so perhaps before displaying your rig to your friends you might want to give it a quick wipe down. The case itself weighs about 28 pounds so keep this in mind when you starting adding all your components.

The Seney Arvina GS-6400

As stated, the inside has a lot of room even with its five 5.25 Drive bays and five 3.5 Drive Bays which are removable. The Arvina has seven expansion slots with plenty of room for dual video cards, 4 USB 2.0 ports, Audio and Microphone ports and an E-Sata port.  In addition, the Arvina as a built in card reader that reads, CF/MD, XD, SD/MMC, TF y MS/M2. The only con here is no USB 3.0 ports, but for the price point, it is still a great deal.

As for cooling, the Arvina comes with, two 80m LED fans for side cooling, one 140mm LED fan for front cooling, one 120mm LED fan for rear cooling and two 120mm LED fans for side cooling for a total of six fans, and the fans and the LED’s can be controlled using buttons on the top front panel of the case. The GS-6400 also supports water-cooling for those who want even more cooling options.

I like a clean looking case inside and outside and the hidden cable design of the Arvina impressed me. The cables are routed beneath the motherboard out of the way of other components. The hard drive trays are easily removable and while the plastic feel a little less sturdy than other designs, I have not found it to be an issue. The outside features a mesh front panel with anti-dust protection and panels that open each individual external bay so everything remains covered.

Overall, the Arvina GS-6400 case is strong and looks great especially when the lights shine through the case and at a price of around $100 it a great case for building a budget friendly gaming system. As for Sentey as a company with the power supplies and cooling options they offer this new kid on the U.S. block may turn out to be a great destination for the gaming PC system builder. I look forward to testing out their power supplies as well as their newly announced branded video cards.

Check out the Flickr photo stream for the Arvina GS-6400 here.

For more information on Sentey check out their website here.

You can view the Arvina GS-6400 on Newegg here.


The Tourist

The Tourist - movie screenshot

The Tourist (2010)
Director: Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck  Starring: Angelina Jolie, Johnny Depp, Paul Bettany, Timothy Dalton, Steven Berkoff, Rufus Sewell

Certificate: 12A  Running Time: 102 Minutes

Tagline: “It all started when he met a woman.”

Angelina Jolie is hot. There, I said it. You probably weren’t aware of that until I just mentioned it but it’s actually true. You’re lucky I was considerate enough to enlighten you too as it’s this hotness which seemingly forms the basis for The Tourist, which, incidentally, is also a remake of French film, Anthony Zimmer. And therein we already have a problem. To say Hollywood has a patchy history as far as remaking films is concerned would be putting it mildly, but French films seem to suffer this fate even more than most (witness the horror of the ‘Taxi’ remake for proof of this). Combine this with the alarming amount of flip-flopping around the goodness-knows how many directors and stars did, joining the project then leaving soon afterwards, and it sounds like The Tourist was a disaster waiting to happen. With the likes of Jolie and Depp attached now though, it can’t be that bad surely?

The Tourist - movie screenshot

As you might expect, given its origins, there’s certainly an intriguing premise here. Apparently a master criminal, Alexander Pierce, is on the run after having stolen $2 billion from a British gangster. Scotland Yard is eager to catch him as they want a sizable chunk of his swag as tax and have charged Inspector John Acheson (Bettany) with catching him. In his crosshairs at the start of the film is Pierce’s (ex?) girlfriend, Elise (Jolie). Hoping that he eventually makes contact with her, they watch her like a hawk as she goes about her daily routine in Paris, and it seems they’ve got their break when she receives a letter, apparently from him.

The Tourist - movie screenshot

Knowing that the police suspect he has altered his appearance, he asks her to take a particular train to Venice and “find someone my height and build and make them believe it’s me”. As you may have guessed, Elise’s subsequent stroll through the train culminates in her attaching herself to Frank Tupelo (Depp), an American travelling alone after the breakup of his marriage who, we must assume, looks rather like Pierce. He is instantly drawn to Elise (as is every other male in the entire universe if this film is to be believed!) which immediately brings him to Acheson’s attention, not to mention that of Reginald Shaw (Berkoff), the gangster searching for his missing loot along with his various henchmen!

The Tourist - movie screenshot

Whether it’s a good film or not, there’s one thing about The Tourist that’s impossible to deny – it sure looks nice! Jolie and Depp are hardly the most horrifying actors to look at under normal circumstances but here they’re decked out in some very classy attire for the most part, especially Jolie. Pretty much every scene takes place in some gorgeous location or highly ornate set too, from Paris and Venice themselves (the latter of which looks particularly stunning) to swanky hotel suites and restaurants, a posh ball (the dance kind, not the spherical kind). Hell, even the Scotland Yard offices feature a nice fusion of elegant, antique furniture and high-tech computers and devices!

The Tourist - movie screenshot

Unfortunately, however, the aesthetic splendour of The Tourist is pretty much the extent of its creative endeavours. It’s basically a pretty chase movie, but since the chasees spend much of their screentime together, they really need to have good chemistry and regrettably they do not. Jolie (complete with passable English accent) is a picture of refinement throughout but that’s about all she does, while Depp, occasionally bordering on Captain Jack tomfoolery, is initially convincing as the out-of-his-depth tourist of the film’s name, but seems to grow accustomed to his predicament a little too easily. Everyone else is just along for the ride really, with the possible exception of Shaw. While maybe a bit stereotyped, he does also have a genuinely menacing air about him. Maybe the problem with the The Tourist is simply that it looks so nice, the rest of it couldn’t hope to keep up. Actually that’s a bit harsh, but it could’ve been so much better, and I didn’t like the ending at all. Watch it to give your eyes a treat, but don’t go in expecting an intelligently-crafted thriller. They seem to have left that in France.

[youtube width=”600″ height=”480″]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XtbLezJtMg[/youtube]

RKS Score: 6/10


Shinobi - Sega Master System

Shinobi (1987)
By: Sega Genre: Shooting Players: 1 Difficulty: Medium
Featured Version: Sega Master System First Day Score: 331,150
Also Available For: Arcade, Nintendo NES, PC Engine, Amiga, Atari ST, Commodore 64, Amstrad CPC, ZX Spectrum
Download For: Wii Virtual Console, Xbox 360 Live Arcade

The original version of Shinobi was a fantastic game for its day and proved to be extremely popular, but for many years the only version of it I knew was this version that Sega treated all of its loyal Master System customers to. It’s one of the few conversions handled by Sega themselves and happily it’s a splendid version of the arcade great, arguably the best, but it’s not identical. The game’s story is still the same, which involves the children of the Oboro clan (or of various world leaders, according to the Western versions, as I recall) being kidnapped, but unlike the arcade version where rescuing the children was mandatory, here you don’t actually have to rescue them. You can though, if you want, and it’s a very good idea to do so anyway, for each one bestows upon courageous Joe a reward of special magnificence!

Shinobi - Sega Master System

The biggest and most immediately obvious difference between this and the arcade version (as far as gameplay is concerned) is the existence of a life-meter. Poor Joe would keel over after a single hit in the harder, money-grabbing arcade version, but here you afford to be a little more reckless! This does make the game easier as you might expect, but don’t expect it to suddenly be a walkover because it’s not! This is still a pretty tough game and one that I never managed to complete in all my years of trying (although I could get to the final boss without too much trouble, after all the practise I had!). The actual stages themselves, though, are faithfully recreated and contain the same enemies and obstacles as their parent, and playing through them is pretty much unchanged.

Shinobi - Sega Master System

As previously mentioned, the poor, traumatised children being held hostage in positions of questionable strategic significance are apparently each in possession of a special reward that Joe will receive upon rescuing them. Unlike the arcade version in which Joe starts with shurikens before he obtains a gun, here the transition takes longer. His normal shurikens are first upgraded to a rapid-fire variety before being replaced by fast-firing knives, then small, bouncing bombs, before he finally receives the powerful gun, with each upgrade being provided by a child. There is also one each stage which will allow entry to the between-stage bonus round seen in the arcade version. Successful completion of this then rewards Joe with ninja magic, and if you manage to take out a blue ninja during this round, you’ll get two magics instead of one!

Shinobi - Sega Master System

Others child power-ups include one which extends his life-gauge and another which refills it to maximum. Each stage features a power-up child, and one to bestow each of the other rewards mentioned. Any remaining children on a stage will award Joe with bonus points. Anyway, enough talk about children, that’s pretty much the only differences between the two versions other than the aesthetic. The humble MS does a decent job of replicating the graphics of the arcade version though. The sprites are understandably a bit smaller and suffer from some trademark MS flicker when a few are on the screen at once, but apart from that they’re a good match, and the backgrounds and bosses are all instantly recognisable too. The music is also reasonably accurate, although there are fewer tunes here, with the game instead repeating the same tune for most stages, but it’s a good one and is more prominent than the somewhat inconspicuous music of the arcade game. Sound effects are also superb here and very distinctive.

Shinobi - Sega Master System

As most of you already know, Shinobi is overall a fantastic game. It was perfectly suited to the era in which it was made, but of a high enough quality to remain just as enjoyable more than 20 years later. Most conversions of it were at least pretty decent – even the Speccy gave it a good go – but the best conversion is usually acknowledged to be the PC Engine version which, with the exception of the missing bonus stage, is close to arcade perfect. It has, however, always been this mighty fine Master System version that I’ve had the most affection for. It has good, colourful graphics, catchy music, and challenging and additive gameplay which it’s hard to fault. Impartial I may not be, but anyone can see that this is about as good as Shinobi could be on the MS, and that’s very good!


RKS Score: 9/10

The Obsolete Gamer Show: You’re full of Sh*t

full of shit

This week we continued our attack on SOE and the community letter sent out by Lorin Jameson which led to the topic of how game companies and the people that work for them often bullshit us. We also talked about the decision to removed blood and the original fatalities from Mortal Kombat for the SNES. Overall, we spent the time calling people out and had a great time at it.

The Obsolete Gamer Show: You’re full of Sh*t

Or have a listen on our official OGS page and let us know what you think.

Or download our podcast from Itunes

Banned Commercials: Bud Light Lime – In the Can

Bud Light Lime in The Can Banned Commercial

It is sad we can have reality shows that drain the brain and soul, but a commercial that uses humor and innuendo in this manner gets their commercial banned. Sure, it is a cheeky video, but it is funny and works for the audience it is targeting.



Fan made Bleach Opening


One of the many things anime makers are good at is putting together intro videos. They add their own animation and blend it with music that gets you into the show you are about to watch. There are some great fan made intros out there as well and here is one of them.

[youtube width=”600″ height=”480″]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3hTpnI6k9I[/youtube]


Anti-Classic: Charlie’s Angels

Anti Classic Charlie's Angels gameplay screenshot 1

We have all played bad games, but there are some out there that deserve to be erased from the earth and sadly, most of them are based on movie franchises. Charlie’s Angels ranks as one of the wost movie games in history for a number of reasons as so has been deemed an Anti-Classic.

Charlie’s Angels was released for the GameCube and PlayStation 2 in 2003 by Ubisoft and no DRM was necessary because no one would want to play this game less steal it. It was based on the Charlie’s Angels movie, but really, it was more based on the women and not so much the story of the movie.

The style of the game was third-person and was a beat em up game where you controlled the three Angels are they went on various missions. The game starts off on a beach with the Angels in swimsuits. I assume this was done for the Beach Volleyball effect to get you to continue playing, but as soon as you starting fighting groups of enemies with bad animations, limited fighting moves and unfinished graphics even unlockables featuring images and video from the Full Throttle movie could not win gamers back.

Anti Classic Charlie's Angels gameplay screenshot 2

So if you take a look at the video which was done pretty well IMHO you can see right away that they hoped showing bikini clad women would make you want to play. Next, you see the running animation that just looked horrible. Seriously, the run like they are skipping off to see the wizard then we get to see the horrible fighting animation and lack of fighting moves. Perhaps you could enjoy the noises as each woman is hit, but better yet check out the jumping animation that looks like a ballerina on crack.

When you fight mobs of enemies, there is an invisible wall so you cannot advance and further. Now while the not being able to move on until you finish off the bad guys is nothing new, in 2003 game technology it was poorly executed. Now in later levels you had the ability to switch between the Angels so one could access something to allow the other to continue, but you could not switch between characters during fights.

Watch the video and be happy you did not buy this game or embarrassed that you did. Pretty much everyone in the gaming industry voted Charlie’s Angels as horrible and Obsolete Gamer considers it an Anti-Classic.


The Magnum man

Magnum man 2
I doubt they approve of use in this manner

So the story is the guy in this video does a trick where he puts a condom over his head, but it does look as if he did not plan for it to be on that long. Honestly, it’s hard to tell, some people were starting wonder if he was in trouble which others laughed and said to leave him be.


Could you imagine having on your tombstone, died with condom over head?


The Alienware M11x r2 Review

Alienware M11x r2

Let me start by saying this review is more for the casual gamer meaning it will not be filled with charts and graphs and a ton of numbers that most would not understand. There are a ton of super technical reviews on the Alienware M11x r2 that provide every benchmark number and rating score you will ever need, this, is for the rest of us.

Why purchase a gaming laptop?

For the causal gamer one might wonder why you need a gaming laptop. My answer would be that you don’t, but the great thing about gaming laptops is they have the power for everything else you would need to do so why not have the ability to play games as well?

Far too often, we as computer shoppers select a low cost laptop to save money knowing we want one that we will not have to replace within a year and one we secretly wish we could play games on. Perhaps paying $1500 plus for a gaming laptop would not be for us, but at $1000 you are not too far away from laptops you find even on sites like Tech Bargains.

If you know you like to game and especially if you like MMO’s then having the ability to pull out a gaming laptop and play those games anywhere is well worth the price.

Alienware M11x r2


Most reviews do not start with the price, but this is not like most reviews. The M11x can be purchased starting at $1000 on the Alienware website. At the price you can get more than enough to run most of the games a causal gamer would playing including FPS, RTS and MMO games.

The Outside

Do looks matter? Sure, they do just ask Apple, the Alienware M11x does look sleek, like a stealth bomber. The all black styling of the laptop goes well with almost any décor and let’s face it, it looks good either at home or out in public. I have had a number of people comment on the system specifically the neon-like light coming from all over it.

Speaking of lighting there are several zones of the computer that light up from the keyboard to the grills on the front and the little Alienware heads. The great this is using a program built in called Alienware FX, you can change all the colors to what suits you and you can even mix and match them for a funky clown look if you wish.

Outside Details

Let us go into some specifics about the outside. First off, the laptop weights about 4.4 pounds and while that may seem heavy to some in the day of the iPad it is still pretty light. There are three USB 2.0 ports, to connect things like mice, a HDMI and Display Port to connect a monitor, FireWire and a headphone jack for audio privacy. There is also a place for a special Kensington lock, which you buy separately so you can lock your laptop to a desk or somewhere else it cannot be stolen from.

Alienware M11x r2

The Inside

As said, there can be debates on which processor works best with this program or that game, but for the purpose of this review we will keep it simple. For the$1000 version of the M11x you get the Intel Core i5 1.4GHz processor. From what I have found using it, it does the job for the games I play and the programs I use, but I will go into that shortly.

Next you have the memory which at that price you receive 4GB’s. If you really get into gaming big time and you want the newest game on the highest setting then people will tell you to go with an 8GB or higher system. I personally do not have that on my desktop and do fine and with 4GB you have more than enough RAM for most any task you will be doing gaming or otherwise.

As for hard drive space, that decision is made based on how much you store and install. At the $1000 price, you get 320GB’s, which is a lot of space. Considering you have a desktop at home, you most likely do not need all this space.  Even if you do not and the laptop is your sole computer, unless you install every game and have a music and video collection out of this world then you should be fine. However, Alienware offers more hard drive options that offer more space.

Video is of course very important not only because of games, but everything visual on your system. Here it can get tricky because there are desktops and even some laptops that offer dual video cards in SLI and all kinds of options. The video card on the $1000 system is the NVIDIA GeForce GT 540M and I have found it works great for the games I play and for watching video in high def.

The rest

There are other things of note that come with the M11x like its wireless network card, which is necessary for gaming on the go. The system also has a standard network port to plug it in at home, the office, and school or where have you. The operating system is Windows 7 home premium 64-bit, which I have used on my desktop for quite some time. I personally think this is the third best O/S behind Win 95 SE and Win XP, so you should not have any trouble here.

Alienware M11x r2


This is what matters, but it is also, where it depends on what you do. First off, let us talk battery life, with the 8-cell battery under normal usage I have found you get a little over 5 hours of battery life, but if you are playing games, it will be less than that.

As for gaming itself, I tried the Alienware M11x in the game World of Warcraft in its native resolution of 1366×768 and was able to run the game with full graphical features with no issues even in heavy populated zones. Perhaps the key is the smaller screen, which is 11.6 inches, which can seem small when you have a user interface with a ton of icons, but I found I was able to get used to it.

In a game like Everquest 2 that uses more CPU power, I also received good frame rates even in open zones. Now I was not able to max everything out in EQ2 specially the shadows, but I was able to crank up the texture models and general graphics to make the game look great and playable even in a raid.

Other games I have played include Fallout 3, which ran fine, a number of Steam games and emulators since I am a classic gamer. I also played StarCraft 2, which ran fine. I also run various programs like Ventrilo for communication and Digsby, which is an all in one instant messaging client. I also run Firefox with four or more windows open at the same time to check websites and information, all while playing a game usually in windowed mode.

As for sound, it sounds much better than your normal laptop, but we have to be honest that even though it has internal Hi-Def 5.1 audio it does not match what you get out of a good pair of PC speakers. What I found that worked for me was the volume does get high which was an issue on other laptops. Music and games as well as movies will sound good coming out of the M11x and even in a loud room, the speakers are loud enough so you can hear it from the highs to the lows, bass and treble.

The keyboard feels good and types well even when you are slamming the keys crying for a heal. I never liked the touchpad, but this one is built well and does not easily activate when the heel of my hand brushes against it, still, I perfect a USB or wireless mouse.

As for warranty, you receive a 1-year plan, which provides hardware support, and of course phone tech support. I cannot say much here because I have not had a need to use it yet.


I personally like this system, I am sure there are things that could be better, but for most of us this system will perfectly fit your need for work, school and gaming. The laptop itself feels sturdy and well build and the cool look is a nice touch, but most important is the price and how it performance and it does both well.

I you have questions on the m11x r2 from Alienware leave a comment and I will answer them.


The PFI Tripe Awards: The Johnny Depp Shame Award

This award is brought to you by Pepsi, The choice for a new generation.

Johnny Depp Shame Award

Ladies and gentlemen, tonight we recover and chillout from the glory of the last award. The award presented tonight is simple, and to the point, unlike the recipients of said awards. Johnny Depp, one of the greatest actors of our era. PFI Best Actor 2003 winner for his portrayal of Captain Jack Sparrow in Pirates of the Carribean: The Curse of the Black Pearl.

Edward Scissorhands. Ed Wood. Sleepy Hollow. Nick of Time. The list goes on and on of great Johnny Depp movies. But, loyal viewers, the buck stops here. Johnny Depp has starred in two movies so ATROCIOUS, they ALMOST TAKE AWAY from all the great shit he’s done. Tonight’s award was delayed a couple of weeks in order to find a proper host. We needed a host to make sense of these senseless movies, so we searched far and wide, till we hit Westchester, NY. The PFI was so enthralled by what this man had to say about these terrible movies, we decided to have him present this award, as well as destroy the movies with me. I present to you….

Don Vito

Don Vito: Thank you Paul. I’m shuggapresenting tonight the awards for Johnny Depp’s crappy movies. Idahowhathewas thinking after reading dees scripts. This first award is a LACK of script.

Paul: Thank you Don Vito. After reading these awards, please realize that there is more dialogue in these awards, than in the entire script of The Astronaut’s Wife. And no, this is NOT a good thing. I can tolerate movies with little dialogue. If anyone has seen Quest for Fire, a great movie with not a single word spoken, you’d understand. Quest for Fire worked because what was on screen was captivating and kept us watching. In The Astronaut’s Wife, the set design is just as boring as the minimalist script. Pastels, draperies, about 50fthjntjnmjnrs234521412410 shots of a lamp, etc. Johnny Depp plays an astronaut who comes back from space and impregnates his wife with two alien twins. THERE, THAT’s WHAT THE MOVIE’S ABOUT.

The simplicity of that sentence was the result of 2 hours of boredom and wrist slashing agony. Does that plot sound ridiculous? It’s even worse seeing it play on screen for a mind numbing 2 hours. There’s not really much else to say about The Astronaut’s Wife, as there’s not much said IN THE ASTRONAUT’S WIFE. I wish MST3K was still around. They’d have an absolute field day with this piece of crap. Don Vito what did you think??

Don Vito: I didn’t understand a thing, that movie was written by vulcan idiots, plot all discombobulated. Idahowhat it’s about gahber dumb movie wasting my time…Here’s another movie by vulcan idiots….

Paul: Thanks Don Vito. Roman Polanski, director of The Ninth Gate, was extradited from this country back in the 1970’s on the charge of rape. Had that incident never occured, he would’ve been charged with raping the wallet of moviegoers everywhere with the Ninth Gate, and of course, extradited. The Ninth gate is a massive assault on all that is senseful and purposeful. Never before has a movie tried to be so opaque, vague, dark, mysterious, and made all those elements unintentionally funny. 20 minutes into the movie Fernando and I were already destroying it. In fact I’d like to have a Ninth Gate viewing, invite a bunch of people and watch us rip it to shreds. It’s that easy. One shot in particular was extra shitty. Johnny Depp is on the phone, he looks behind him, there’s some dog staring at him. Depp looks back again, and the dog is gone. ::CLUBS SEAL:: THE DISAPPEARING ACT HAS BEEN DONE TIME AND TIME AGAIN, ENOUGH PLEASE. Sadly, the movie did not disappear. Johnny Depp is trying to find a book that opens the gates of hell. He looks everywhere for it, running into Skeletor and the Super Mario Brothers on his quest.

Ok, Frank Langella, and two guys who look like the Mario Brothers. But even THAT would’ve entertained more than this movie. Then he meets quite possibly the most ridiculous female lead since Kate Beckinsale in Pearl Harbor. Some mysterious rhetorical woman who knows about the occult. Nothing she says makes any sense, maybe she also wrote this movie. Notably, there’s a scene where she’s driving somewhere, the way she is driving mimics a old jewish lady with blue hair driving on Collins Avenue on a saturday morning, she’s squinting and everything. She does this for no apparent reason. I so wish I could find a screencap of her face when she’s driving, that’d guarantee everyone reading this to pee in their pants.

There is one good scene in this movie, Skeletor walks in a room of cultists and starts screaming out “MUMBO JUMBO, MUMBO JUMBO!!!” Fernando and I were ecstatic as this was the FIRST THING THAT MADE SENSE IN THE MOVIE. THE MOVIE KNEW IT WAS MUMBO JUMBO!!!! Depp and the Occult woman inexplicably have sex in the last scene of the movie, and the gates of hell open. Depp takes the book and walks into hell, I think. I certainly hope the screenplay for the Ninth Gate was what he was carrying in there. And I hope it doesn’t come out either. This movie was so terrible that we didn’t shut up about it for weeks after we saw it. We’d walk around Braddock screaming out “MUMBO JUMBO, MUMBO JUMBO!!” in honor of the tripe. Don Vito what did you think about The Ninth Gate?

Don Vito: It’s BULLSHIT I didn’t like it.

Paul: Couldn’t have put it better myself Don. Stay tuned next week as we present the ROMANTIC RITALIN award. Good night!!!

Green Lantern Emerald Knights Trailer

Green Lantern Emerald Knights Trailer

Coming June 7th there will be a new animate DVD for all us DC fans to collect. Green Lantern Emerald Knights combines a number of Green Lantern stories from the comic books; in fact it was pretty well summed up by a commenter on the YouTube page:

This will weave 6 stories of the Green Lantern Corps’ mythology around preparations for an attack by an ancient enemy told by Hal Jordan as he mentors a new recruit named Arisia 0:32 before the occasion of helping Hal, Sinestro, & The Corps save the universe from the destructive forces of Krona. Hal tells tales of Avra(the 1st GL of the Green Lantern Corps) & several of Hal’s comrades- including Abin Sur 1:23, Kilowog 0:33, Laira 0:55 & Mogo(A Green living, sentient planet GL) 1:21

[youtube width=”600″ height=”480″]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BgLbBf02Nxg[/youtube]

Final Fantasy IV: The After Years

Final Fantasy IV The After Years - Video Game Screenshot
This time around we have a Wiiware title released in 2009. I know this is a retro gaming related post and it does hold true as the game plays like an oldie. Final Fantasy IV: The After Years takes you back to a world of great adventure! If you are a Final Fantasy veteran(Like me) You are going to enjoy this one as it’ll take you to events years later after the original Final Fantasy IV story ended. Wouldn’t you enjoy such a great blast from the past? I know I did!

Final Fantasy IV The After Years - Video Game Screenshot


The game starts you off in a quest to become a knight. You play as Ceodore, son of Cecil who is accompanied by Biggs and Wedge to help you on your quest. As usual you should know that when characters are named Biggs and Wedge, they usually hit the bucket real quickly(Final Fantasy 7 and Final Fantasy VI did this). The game plays like its 1991 counterpart and delivers remixed music from the same with great success. It’s such a blast from the past listening to the battle music of Final Fantasy IV once more. The world of Final Fantasy IV hasn’t change much and there will be more than one familiar face I’m sure you’ll recognize with ease. Remember, it has been years after so some of these characters are either older or just grown up.

Final Fantasy IV The After Years - Video Game Screenshot

Moving on, the battle system delivers the same Final Fantasy IV experience although there may be times that battles just keep coming up over and over without letting you explore more than two steps. It’s bearable though mainly because fighting is so much fun. The game does have a very unbalanced gold to experience ratio as once you move further in the game, you will get over 3k of experience while only gain around 500 gold. It’s not surprising though as the original was somewhat like this. It’s helpful in the end as leveling up is quite easy. I was able to level up over fifteen times in less than an hour!

Final Fantasy IV The After Years - Video Game Screenshot
The game will have a very interesting story that mainly involves Cecil and this mysterious girl who is after the crystals. Kain also makes a big entrance and is part of the main story. I wish I could tell you much more but I wouldn’t want to spoil everything, it’s just a great ordeal! You will for sure venture into similar territory and might get confused for a second thinking you are playing Final Fantasy IV once more but you are not! This is The After Years after all meaning it’s not a new world but an older one.

I do suggest this game for hardcore Final Fantasy veterans and retro RPG fanatics. I don’t think it’s for everyone as it contains a lot of old school gameplay that might scare some gamers off(Not me!). The game does deliver a fascinating experience and has many extras with it as well. Sadly, that’s the bad part of it as you’ll need to spend 800 wii points (8 dollars) For the first part of the main story and another 800 wii points (8 dollars) For the second part of it. Then you have all the side stories from all the characters of the original which will cost you 300 wii points (3 dollars) Each! And there are around five or six of them which means you’ll be spending a vast amount of money for it. But there is light at the end of the tunnel as there is going to be a release of all of this for the good old PSP with the Ultimate Final Fantasy IV Collection.

Motivational Monday: It’s in the Game


This week we turn to motivational posters from the video game community. Enjoy!

Adrian Smith’s Art

Adrian Smith‘s art needs no introduction, it only asks for bandwidth. Thus, this being a post on Adrian Smith’s art, it’s picture heavy, but words light. In case you’d like to find out more on Mr. Smith, you’d better visit his official website. Or flick through a certain Games Workshop book.

Now, look at the pretty pictures…


Warhammer artwork:

Adrian Smith Artwork

Adrian Smith Artwork
Warhammer 40,000:

Adrian Smith ArtworkAdrian Smith Artwork

Black Library artwork:
Adrian Smith Artwork


Inquisitor artwork:
Adrian Smith ArtworkAdrian Smith Artwork


Sabertooth Games artwork:
Adrian Smith Artwork


Chronopia Artwork:

Adrian Smith ArtworkAdrian Smith Artwork

The TI 99/4A

Ti 99 4A - Long Version
TI 99/4A, usually referred to (well by us gnomes at least) simply as the Texas Instruments, was the first computer I ever touched and the only computer of mine I just can’t remember where to find. Damn! This Space Invaders cartridge was so utterly amazing, and so unbelievably better than its Atari 2600 version, I’d just love to play it again… Show it to them silly Atari loving kiddies. Take it out for a beer even. Ah, the days, the days…
spacebandits - TI994a game


Nostalgia aside though, the TI 99/4A was also a rather impressive machine for its time. It was 16-bit, could output 256-colour graphics, had an almost proper keyboard, could use Atari’s digital and quite lovely one-button joysticks, could load programmes via tape or cartridge, was immensely expandable and had loads of RAM (that was 16Kb actually). As for the games, well, a visit to the TI-99/4A videogames house should convince you. For the rest, watch this commercial (and please avoid the dreaded Bill Cosby one):


Interested for more? Great, here are some sites you might just enjoy:

Lorin Jameson: The World’s Worst Bullshitter

In this world there are a special group of individuals who are hired to spit bullshit into the faces of others. These people are normally hired into public relations or in some dire situations they even ascend to an executive ranking. This is the case for Lorin Jameson, the executive producer of DCUO.

What has this personality done to earn the honor of the “World’s Worst Bullshitter”? If you’ve read the recent newsletters that have been put out for DCUO, you’d wholeheartedly understand. Oh don’t worry, I won’t leave you in the dark. Here’s the Producer’s Letter for May 16th.

As RadarX previously announced, we will soon introduce new technology into DC Universe Online which will allow us to combine our current servers into huge MegaServers. I wanted to answer some of the questions that have popped up on the forums and Facebook to better explain what these MegaServers will mean to the game.

Why are you creating MegaServers?

We have a very large and active population in DCUO. As players achieve higher levels, a lot more of the game involves participating in Raids, Arenas, Duos, Alerts, and other queued instances. After examining how the queues were working in detail, we saw our players were spending far too much time waiting and not enough time playing. This just would not do. We wanted an approach that would not only help players waiting for queued content, but ensured that no matter when you play, there are a maximum number of people in the cities as well. MegaServers offers a way to have an incredible experience no matter what your play habits are.

I am on a PvP server. Will I still be with other PvP players when I get to a MegaServer?

Yes! MegaServers use “phasing” technology, meaning there is more than one version, or phase, of Metropolis and Gotham on the server. Players who selected PvP servers when they created their characters will always be in a PvP phase of the shared world with other PvP players. The same goes for PvE players; They will always be placed in PvE phases. However, since the queues will be shared, PvE and PvP players will be able to group up for Alerts, Raids, Duos, etc. greatly increasing the pool of available players for matchmaking. It is a very cool system that really maximizes the people online, and nearby, for you to play with.

Will I still be able to play with my friends?

Yes! We have algorithms that will attempt to place you in the same phase as your friends and League members. Even if you you end up in a different phase, you can almost always phase to your friends. Using the UI, or a command like /phase SooperBFF you will be relocated to SooperBFF’s phase in the same location that you phased from. There will be some limitations on when you can phase based on whether you are in combat, in an Alert or Duo, etc. but I think you will find it is easy to get together with the folks you want to play with.

MegaServers? Why that name?

It just felt big. Putting hundreds of thousands of folks on the same server felt Mega! We considered ‘UberServers’ and ‘MonsterServers’ as well.

We will be rolling out more information in the days ahead. Have a great time playing DCUO!

Lorin ‘DeadMeat’ Jameson

Executive Producer

DC Universe Online

If you read through the whole newsletter, you’re probably disgusted. I’m sure, though, there is a select group of readers who can’t help but breathe from their mouths and not understand why I feel an ulcer building up after reading this letter. Let me break it down for you as easily as I can.

Lorin Jameson thinks you’re an ignoramus, a dimwit, and a nincompoop.

Harsh words, I know, but I didn’t say it. Lorin said it all with this smoothie of diarrhea he calls a Producer’s Letter.

I know it’s a company’s job to always think positively and on the bright side. No doom and gloom here! Always a happy go lucky, we’re still striving kind of attitude. That’s commendable but when you lie to cover up the shortcomings of your product that’s just disgusting when contradictions come into play.

DCUO has a very large and active population? Don’t fucking lie. Everyone I know that is still playing says it’s a ghost town and I was stilling playing two months after release and things were already getting dramatically scarce. If you don’t want people to think you’re a fucking liar, don’t even mention the population! No one asked how big the population was! How can there be a very active and large population when Lorin later states people are spending too much time waiting and not enough time playing? It contradicts itself!

That horrible method of delivering his bullshit isn’t even the worst part. It’s how he brands these consolidated servers as MegaServers. Every MMORPG in the history of MMORPGs that has had a dwindling population have consolidated their dying servers by merging them together. Everything Lorin Jameson said after “very large and active population” opposes that very statement.

Another small peeve I had was when he answered the question as to whether people will be able to play with their friends still. He answers with “algorithms”. That’s fucking swell, Lorin. They don’t give a fuck about your “phasing” technology and algorithms. You’re throwing around terms like they’re fascinating and new; as if gamers have no fucking idea what you’re talking about. Just say “Yeah you’ll be able to play with your friends! We have it set up so everything works just as it should!” Don’t act like you’re the first MMO to merge servers and you’re light years ahead of the rest of the world with your fucking algorithms.

Oh, wait I’m not done with this fucking letter. At the fucking end he then responds to the question pondering why they chose to name it MegaServers. He mentions how it felt Mega putting hundreds of thousands of folks on the same server. The only Mega thing I can think of when I read his description for MegaServers were Mega pellets of brown hail pelting me to death from the bullshit storm he is spewing all over the place.

Sony has had some really shitty people speak for them but Lorin Jameson just takes the fucking cake. Go eat a dick, Lorin Jameson.

Oh by the way, what happened to those monthly content updates and that Green Lantern content? Not making it in time for the movie? That just shows how incompetent SOE is to gain back some subscribers following this summer’s super hero movie craze.

The Online Gaming Show List

devil inside

Watching videos online has always (well, relatively speaking) been a pleasant and deeply unproductive way to spend ones time, but, let’s face it, not all of them are worthy of our delicate attention and keen eyesight, whereas only a few of them come with the consistency of a show, that will guarantee regular breaks from work. This, dear friends and comrades, is why I can’t help but suggest you follow, watch and enjoy these, uhm, following gaming shows. They are the ones I’m currently into, and the ones that will make sure you a) appreciate gaming a bit more, b) smile a bit, c) work less, d) play more.

Matt Chat

When a smart, passionate and academically trained in the ways of gaming person approaches gaming history, this is what you get. An excellent retro-focused show showcasing classic games and interviewing legendary game creators.

Zero Punctuation

Our dear Yahtzee remains brilliant and hilarious as ever. You know him and you know what his deranged ZP reviews are all about. Still thought I’d remind you.

Spoony Experiment

The fact that bad movies and games deserve to be ridiculed (and, as a consequence, remembered) has apparently urged Spoony to, well, ridicule them, while also coming up with videos of a most varied nature. The humour is tops.

Adventure Game Reviews

Not a regular channel of video goodness, but the episodes and features that are there are some of the best the web has ever spawned. Provided you are into adventures and oldish PC games, that is.

DOS Nostalgia

Another top quality MS-DOS, retro gaming video thingy, with great presentation, attention to detail, a taste for quirky game selections and pretty self explanatory title. Also, very entertaining.


Another pretty popular choice, as Bytejackeris the best known indie game show around; and it’s been around for more than 100 episodes, which frankly is impressive. Sports some truly odd and generally funny sketches too.Classic Game Room


Classic show, new format. Covers both retro and new games and is professionally produced. Uhm, watch it!

Tales of a Driver: The Complex from Hell

Pizza Hut - Funny Now Hiring Signs

Delivery driving in Chicago was great so when I first came to Miami I took a job working for this company called hungry bear that sold pizza and wings. The hourly pay wasn’t so bad but I swear it was almost impossible to get people to tip and on top of that they had this apartment complex on their route which was just awful.

The first time I delivered there a naked man answered the door and proceeded to pay me with wet dollar bills. He told me he washed his wallet by mistake but the money was still good, I guess he was washing all his clothes as well. The second time I went there this lady tried to pay me in pennies and the bill was nine fifty.

Yet another time an older lady accused me of eating some of her pepperoni slices, she claimed last time she ordered a large pepperoni it had 18 pieces of pepperoni and this time it had 16 so I must have ate the two on the way there.

This complex also had a ton of unsupervised kids running around twice I came out to find the magnetic sign for my store stolen from my car, however they never broke into or damaged my car. I’ve had people offer to buy slices off of me; someone even wanted to purchase the little bag that keeps the pizzas warm.

One afternoon I delivered a pizza to an apartment there and the next door neighbor tried to out bid him for the pizza. Later I found out the two hate each other and the neighbor just wanted to make the other one re-order. That place had fights, sex and drugs and it smelled in the hallways.

My final time there was late night about 10:50pm; it was an order for two large pizzas with the works. I get to the apartment and ring the door and about 90 second’s later a baby opens the door. This kid must not have been over 4 if that much. I just looked at the kid and he looks at me.

“Hi” I said “I’m the pizza man, is your mom or dad home?” The kid then hands me the cash, exact change. The kid still didn’t speak and I didn’t know what to do because this kid couldn’t hold these pizzas. Then I hear a voice in the back. “Bring dem pizzas here boy!” The kid stretched out his hands to take the pizzas, so I gave them to him.

I was right the pizzas were too heavy and he toppled over. “Don’t you mess my pizza boy! Hurry” the momma called from the back. The kid then got up and dragged the pizzas to what I guess was the bedroom then came back and closed the door.

After that I was done with Hungry Bear that placed just sucked to hard. However I still wasn’t done delivering just yet.


Cosplay: Poison

Here is some information on the motivational poster I created from the wiki page for Poison of Final Fight:

Poison’s first appearance in Final Fight featured her and a palette swap character named Roxy as recurring minor enemies for the player to fight. Named after the band by an unnamed female employee at Capcom,she was designed by Akira Yasuda to contrast against the bigger characters in the game and move about randomly.According to the book All About Capcom Head to Head Fighting Games, the characters were originally planned to be female, but were changed to male transvestites (or more specifically “newhalfs“)due to the suggestion that “hitting women was considered rude” in America and the concern that feminist groups would sue.

I have three questions regarding this:

1 – Is hitting females not rude outside America?

2- Is hitting male transvestites not rude?

3- Do male transvestites not sue?

Alight, on with the Cosplay.



The Obsolete Gamer Show: Your MMO Blueprint Sucks

Atari and Cryptic Logo

This week Ignacio and I asked for some topic recommendations via our Facebook fan page. We began the show talking about Ignacio’s continuing addiction to League of Legends and then moved into the  topic of Atari dumping Cryptic like a ugly prom date. In addition, we covered some of the ongoing Sony troubles after being hacked and the future of MMO’s and the fact that the days if pumping out tons of MMO’s to make millions looks to be over.

The Obsolete Gamer Show: Your MMO Blueprint Sucks

Or have a listen on our official OGS page and let us know what you think.

Or download our podcast from Itunes

Mutant Chronicles Monopoly

mutant chronicles

Quite straightforward this one, I believe. Save the picture (taken from this excellent site), print it, spend a few hours preparing thematically appropriate game-cards, use your Warzone minis, 2d6 and enjoy a game of Mutant Chronicles Monopoly.

The Shadow


The Shadow

Fans of the Sega Genesis beat-em up game, Streets of Rage almost got a similar style fighting game for the Super Nintendo. Developed by Ocean Software, the game was set to be released alongside the film of the same name.

The Shadow - Super Nintendo - Gameplay Screenshot

What we know is the game had at least eight levels where you would control The Shadow as he took down mobs of enemies Double Dragon style. As seen in the screenshot, The Shadow had two bars, one that showed his life and the other that showed what would be consider a “power bar.” The second bar showed the power The Shadow had to preform special movies like invisibility, gun abilities, speed boost and a special shield that would knock out anyone who came in contact with it.

As for stages The Shadow was to battle is why through, Times Square, the Empire State Building, an Amusement Park, a Museum, The War Department, Chinatown and finally Hotel Monolith for the big showdown. In addition to side-scrolling fighting stages, The Shadow video game also contained a driving stage where you battled Mongoles on bikes.

It is not clear exactly why the game was not made. Perhaps The Shadow was cancelled because the movie only made 30 million dollars and cost 40 to make. We do know the game was set to be released in fall of 1994. For those of you who would like to try the game you can find The Shadow as a ROM for many SNES emulators.


Fail: Jalous

Fail Pictures

Thursday is fail.

The Sum Of All Fears

The Sum Of All Fears - Movie Screenshot

The Sum Of All Fears (2002)
Director: Phil Alden Robinson  Starring: Ben Affleck, Morgan Freeman, James Cromwell, Liev Schreiber, Bruce McGill, Phillip Baker Hall, John Beasley, Ciaran Hinds, Alan Bates, Bridget Moynahan

Certificate: 12  Running Time: 124 Minutes

Tagline: “27,000 Nuclear Weapons. One Is Missing.”

Terrorism thrillers have certainly been around for a long time now, since the debut of a certain James Bond at least, but a majority of them have always seemed to adhere to the same sort of template. This one is a bit different. It was adapted from the Tom Clancey novel of the same name and is part of the convoluted ‘Jack Ryan’ series that has a rather confusing timeline anyway, nevermind when you take the films into consideration, each of which has changed various details. We’ll just concentrate on the films for now though which began with first The Hunt For Red October (with Alec Baldin as Ryan), then Patriot Games and Clear and Present Danger (both of which starred Harrison Ford in the main role). For this film the part was handed to Affleck and, unlike the novel, is set early in his CIA career when he was a mere analyst.

The Sum Of All Fears - Movie Screenshot

The film opens with a scene depicting an Israeli jet fighter being prepped for takeoff which, we’re told via some accompanying text, was sent up with a nuclear bomb towards the end of the 1973 Yom Kippur War with a view to using it against the invading Egyptian and Syrian forces in the event their own ground forces were overrun. Before this did or didn’t happen, however, the jet was shot down over the Syrian desert. Fast forward to the present day (2002) and the bomb has been discovered buried deep beneath the desert sand by local villagers who unwittingly sell it to an arms dealer for scrap, who in turn sells it to disaffected Austrian neo-Fascist, Dressler (Bates). Meanwhile, in the US, President Fowler (Cromwell), CIA Director Bill Cabot (Freeman), and some of their advisers are conducting ‘war games’ exercises to simulate a nuclear attack against the US.
The Sum Of All Fears - Movie Screenshot

Soon after this, the Russian President suddenly dies and is replaced by the younger and relatively unknown President Nemerov (Hinds). Unknown, that is, to everyone except Ryan who has studied him for years, even predicting him to be the next President. Ryan soon finds himself being invited to top-level meetings and even being sent to Russia to meet Nemerov whilst on a routine nuclear arms inspection. Soon after they arrive back home, Cabot sends operative, John Clark (Schreiber), to Russia to track down a trio of missing nuclear scientists – the exact three that would be needed to reactivate an old, recently acquired bomb, for example. Meanwhile, Russia launches a massive chemical weapons attack on Chechnya, apparently ordered by Nemerov, but Ryan doesn’t believe he’s responsible. Dressler then launches his own attacks against the US and tricks them into believing the Russians are responsible. Thanks to events in Chechnya they believe it, and events threaten to spiral out of control as the two countries head towards all-out nuclear war.

The Sum Of All Fears - Movie Screenshot

Tom Clancy commands a large and loyal fanbase and his books, as well as the films based on them, are always heavily scrutinised. This film proved more controversial than usual. Not only were many details changed from the book but the choice of Ben Affleck to play Jack Ryan caused considerable rancour among many. I’m no Clancy fanboy though, and neither do I have a problem with Affleck, so I’d like to think I can be impartial. Whilst he’s unlikely to be nominated for any awards here, he does a perfectly passable job if you ask me, enjoying romantic evenings with his new girlfriend, Cathy (Moynahan), and engaging in casual banter with his colleagues before he’s swiftly elevated to the upper echelons of the CIA and suddenly he’s far more nervous and having to take things a lot more seriously.

The Sum Of All Fears - Movie Screenshot

He doesn’t even have a huge amount of screentime either, none of the characters hog the limelight really. Morgan Freeman barely breaks a sweat as calm and confident CIA Director, William Cabot, but he remains as watchable as he always is. In fact, everyone in the film does a decent, if unspectacular job with their roles. I enjoyed Liev Schreiber’s limited screen time as John Clark in particular, but the thing that makes the film for me is the superb, tense atmosphere it builds throughout. A particularly chilling moment occurs when the President is regaling guests at the Whitehouse Correspondence Dinner and all of a sudden everyone’s pagers and mobile phones start beeping. First one, then two… before long dozens. At that moment you just know something big has gone down!

The Sum Of All Fears - Movie Screenshot

That’s indicative of many tense moments in the film too. It evokes memories of the fear and paranoia surrounding the Cold War period, and even the Cuban Missile Crisis as well with the actual ‘bad guys’, the neo-Fascists (who were changed from the Middle Eastern terrorists of the book), not even spending much time in front of the camera themselves – they’re just around long enough to stitch up Russia and provoke the US really. The Sum Of All Fears has certainly got its critics to say the least, especially Clancey fans (and indeed Clancy himself!) but as far as I’m concerned it’s a film with a lot more balls than most of its type and is a well-paced, atmospheric (and rewatchable) thriller that should entertain everyone else immensely.

RKS Score: 9/10

F-Zero X

F-Zero X - Nintendo 64 Gameplay Screenshot

F-Zero X (1998)
By: Nintendo EAD Genre: Racing Players: 1-4 Difficulty: Medium
Featured Version: Nintendo 64
Also Available For: Nothing
Download For: Wii Virtual Console

Despite being a highly accomplished racing game, the original F-Zero was perhaps most highly regarded for its admittedly impressive technical prowess. When news of a full sequel (F-Zero 2 was more like a ‘data-disk’) on Nintendo’s brand spanking new 64-bit powerhouse emerged, mouths began to salivate at the prospect of what wonders might befall gamers. However, when it finally arrived it wasn’t as instantly mind-blowing as many gamers were expecting. After the bar-raising the original did, a similar advancement was expected here, but the graphical detail was actually notably inferior to most of the other N64 games that had been doing the rounds, nevermind markedly better. This was apparently done on purpose by Nintendo so they could achieve a constant silky-smooth frame-rate of sixty frames per second. Their decision wasn’t met with much enthusiasm at first though. Was it worth the risk?

F-Zero X - Nintendo 64 Gameplay Screenshot

Questionable graphical detail notwithstanding, if there’s one thing that F-Zero X is, it’s bigger. Bigger and better than F-Zero in pretty much every area. The objective remains the same – to win races – but the courses over which this is done really are something else. One of the few criticisms levelled at the SNES game was that the courses were all completely flat. That situation has been rectified here and then some – I’m pretty sure there’s not a single flat course to be found in F-Zero X! They are all suspended high above the surface of their respective planets and their features range from gently twisting roads with slopes and the usual chicanes and hairpins to full-on roller coaster-style courses full of downhill plummets, uphill climbs, huge banked corners, corkscrews, massive ramps, loops, tunnels and everything inbetween!

F-Zero X - Nintendo 64 Gameplay Screenshot

The single player game modes available here include Grand Prix, Practise, Time Trial, and Death Race, and a majority of your time will most likely be spent on the first of these (in single-player, at least). Grand Prix’s are contested by thirty racers, each with their own distinctive ‘machine’, over one of the leagues. There are initially three available – the Jack, Queen, and King Cups, with each of them consisting of six courses. Points are awarded after each race based on your finishing position, from first down to thirteenth, and successfully winning the three initial leagues will open another one, the Joker Cup, which has six more courses. There is also a fifth and final league – The X Cup – but unlocking this takes a bit more work. It’s worth it though as it’s a test for even the most talented of racers as its courses are randomly generated each time you race so there’s no opportunity to learn them first!

F-Zero X - Nintendo 64 Gameplay Screenshot

The Practise and Time Trial modes are self-explanatory, although it’s worth mentioning that the latter lets you race against staff ghosts. This way you can see if you’re better at any given course than the people who actually designed it (and I’m sure a few obsessed individuals have devoted a lot of time to this pursuit)! The Death Race takes place on a basic course and sees the aggression level of each of the thirty racers cranked up a notch! Using your machine’s meagre attack moves (it can charge to the left, right, or perform a spin), the object is to take out as many opponents as you can while they all try to do the same to you (and each other). Another criticism the original game received was its lack of a multi-player mode. This is another area in which F-Zero X bests its forebear thanks to its fantastic Vs Battle mode where between two and four racers can compete at once.

F-Zero X - Nintendo 64 Gameplay Screenshot

One of the first things you’ll notice about F-Zero X is that it’s fast. Very fast. The Dash Plates make a welcome return here, as does the Super-Jet (or ‘Boost Power’ as it’s now called) and, unlike F-Zero where you only got one boost per lap, you can now use them as often as you want after you’ve completed your first lap. Each time you use it drains your machine’s energy though, so keep a plentiful supply of this by visiting the pit areas regularly. It seems that the various pilots have modified their machines since the last game too. They are faster anyway but you also now have the option of changing your engine settings by altering its top speed / acceleration ratio too. This combined with frequent use of the Dash Plates and your Boost Power, especially in conjunction with one another, can see your speed reach quite staggering levels, even hitting four figures on occasion (my current speed record is 1,527kph!).

F-Zero X - Nintendo 64 Gameplay Screenshot

There’s quite a lot to F-Zero X for an arcade-style racer but it would all be for nothing if the widely-criticised graphics kept gamers away. Personally though, I can’t see what all fuss is about! I asked earlier if Nintendo’s decision to sacrifice graphical detail for increased smoothness and speed was worth the risk. Well, in my opinion it was an excellent decision. The backgrounds may well be somewhat sparse but they are colourful and varied but that’s not hugely relevant anyway – the on-track action is so eye-meltingly fast, you’ll barely even get a chance to look at the backgrounds unless you come off the track and plunge into them! That said, it is impressive to see the horizon rolling around as the track meaders all over the place, or to be staring straight at the ground as you plummet down a collossal ramp (see the Fire Field screenshot!).

F-Zero X - Nintendo 64 Gameplay Screenshot

In addition to being really fast, each race is chock-full of action. The N64 throws the thirty racers, each in their own distinctive machines, constantly jostling for position, around the courses with apparent ease. A mere six of them are available to use at the start of the game (including those from the first game) but winning the various leagues gradually unlocks the remainder, each of which has differing grip, boost power, and body strength. They all look really nice too (plus you can change their colours!) and you can quickly build up genuine rivalries with many of their pilots, some of whom are more agressive than others. The game has a fantastic atmosphere which is helped considerably by the awesome rock soundtrack, featuring wailing guitars and thundering drums, and the courses that share names (but little else) with those in the SNES game are also graced with superb remixes (yes, including Big Blue!). It’s those courses though, that keep you coming back to the game.

F-Zero X - Nintendo 64 Gameplay Screenshot

Any game featuring jet-powered hovercars racing over tracks in mid-air is likely to feature lavishly-designed courses, and the opportunity here enabled the designers to really go to town! To this day, F-Zero X still features the best-designed courses I’ve ever raced on. Each of them is distinctive and memorable, and they really are thrilling to race on, something helped by the extremely precise controls afforded by the N64’s splendid analogue controller. Everything is so smooth and zooming along, weaving in and out of the other racers with pixel-perfect accuracy is exciting and great fun. There are also four difficultly level and, thanks to the X Cup, you’ll never run out of new courses to race on! The game builds up a fantastic sense of competition too, but there’s not really any one thing that makes this such a great game – it’s just a perfect blend of everything. Still probably the greatest racing game I’ve ever played.


RKS Score: 10/10

The Matrix: Kaydara

Kayadara film

Here is a pretty cool fan made trailer for a Matrix movie called Kaydara. While some of the language is in French, there are subtitles and overall it is pretty good looking. You can check out more details on their websites, www.kaydarafilm.com.

[youtube width=”600″ height=”480″]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dp703OdL_UA[/youtube]


Adya & Geisha – Cherubinos Aria


Take a dash of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart and add beats, pieces, outrageously kitsch outfits, super strange video effects and whole load of “WTF Internet” and you got Adya & online casinos Geisha”s Cherubinos Aria.

Hailing from Belgium. Artists Adya & Geisha (Adriaan Van Landschoot & Elle Yana) perform “Cherubino”s Aria – Non So Piu Cosa Son Cosa Faccio” from “Le Nozze di Figaro” (The Marriage of Figaro) by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.


The Lord of the Rings Online Shadows of Angmar

Lord of the Rings Online - Gameplay Screenshot

The Lord of the Rings Online Shadows of Angmar

The Lord of the Rings spawned everything from RPGs, to Orcs, Hobbits, Ents, enchanted rings, magical swords, names like Narsil, Iluvatar or Nalroth, Elven and Dwarven stereotypes -you name it- thus effectively shaping the whole fantasy genre us gamers, film-goers and readers have come to love and cherish (in a very cuddly, very manly way). The Lord of the Rings, you see, is the original, the archetype, the book that bloody sold more than 100.000.000 copies, and now, after an even broader popularization through Peter Jackson’s okayish movies, it’s gone all MMO, or to be more specific all MMORPG.
Lord of the Rings Online - Gameplay Screenshot


The Lord of the Rings Online: Shadows of Angmar (hence LotRO), for obviously this is said MMORPG’s full title, is the first fantasy game of its kind that just cannot be characterized as generic. Why? Carefully reread the paragraph above and you’ll see why. Also, it’s quite simply the best online RPG I’ve ever played and the first one I truly enjoyed for more than a week, let alone the first game I feel like paying a monthly fee for. Oh, and so you know, even though I’m not one of those lost fanatics speaking Quenya and dressing up in fancy elven suits, I’m quite enamored with the Professor’s works. To be honest, and to make a another pretty obvious point, I’ll let you in on a sad little secret. This game made me start reading the original trilogy all over again. Yes, for the fourth time wasting time in my life, but thankfully in a brilliant edition I had the foresight of buying myself quite a few years ago.

Lord of the Rings Online - Gameplay Screenshot

Anyway, I digress. The truly important thing in LotRO and its major triumph is that it could have gone so terribly wrong in so many ways and it just didn’t. It’s extremely faithful to the original work, uninfluenced by the sacrilegious film-plot, filled with details that will delight every aspiring Arda lore master, avoids most well-documented MMO pitfalls known to man, features an almost intuitive interface -say- a WoW player will immediately understand, has no bugs or lag to speak of, great music and some absolutely brilliant graphics. Let me say that again: absolutely brilliant graphics. Totally above anything seen in any MMORPG, filled with beautiful day-night transitions, excellent fantasy architecture, high-res textures and little touches like falling leaves or random flocks of flying birds. What’s more, a mid-range PC with a half-decent graphics card and 1 Giga of memory should be more than enough.

Lord of the Rings Online - Gameplay Screenshot

Consequently, exploring the vast richness of Middle Earth (the parts currently available, at least), which, let’s face it, remains light years ahead of any generic fantasy setting the competition has to offer, both in terms of depth and literary quality, is first of all a visual joy. Over a hundred screenshots taken by me while gaming with my main characters (a 15th level hobbit guardian and a 13th level Elf lore-master) are a testament to LotRO’s beauty. The damned thing made me feel like a tourist. Probably would make for a great Middle Earth geography learning tool too, even though the world isn’t 100% accurate, as it’s been obviously and frankly wisely altered for gameplay needs. A 20 day walk from Hobbiton to Bree would have been admittedly boring. Then again, actually visiting Bree and having a beer in the Prancing Pony is quite a Tolkien fanatic’s wet-dream come true.

Lord of the Rings Online - Gameplay Screenshot

Besides exploring and being all LotR happy, of course, there’s the game itself to have fun with, which -while definitely not perfect- comes quite close to being the pinnacle of contemporary MMOs. Players get to choose between the four good races (Humans, Hobbits, Elfs, Dwarfs), a variety of classes from burglars, guardians (tanks), hunters and minstrels to champions and lore-masters, even though thankfully no wizard class has been made available -Gandalf was quite a rarity you see, a roleplaying or normal server and set off for virtual glory in typical MMORPG fashion. Everything you’d expect is there: quests, raids, crafting possibilities, huge vistas filled with critters for the grinders, levels to be reached and gold to be treasured or even sold for real money.

Lord of the Rings Online - Gameplay Screenshot

The meat of the game are the quests, be they epic -thus advancing the main storyline, instanced, local, crafting or plain silly, like running drunk around the taverns of western Middle Earth. Despite quite a few quirkier -timed, even- quests such as running a postman’s errands or avoiding certain characters have been included, it’s the quality of the standard fetch and kill quests that manage to raise the level of the playing experience. Every one of them, and there are hundreds, is brilliantly written and quite verbose convincingly conveying the world’s history and offering glimpses at the actual Lord of the Rings events. LotRO feels like playing through an unfolding story. You’ll get to unearth seemingly unimportant conspiracies in the Shire, visit farmer Maggot, uncover a fake Black Rider, barely avoid a proper one, help two Elven brothers see each others point, raid a spider infested mine, try to bring peace between dwarfs and elves, hear a rumour or two about Sharkey and team up with the Rangers of the North to defeat them pesky goblins. All, in glorious prose and in full accordance with the overall works of Tolkien.

Lord of the Rings Online - Gameplay Screenshot

Yet, the game still remains a pretty standard MMO in the World of Warcraft gameplay mould. The major, definitely not groundbreaking, innovations LotRO introduces are the Deeds-Titles system, the Fellowship mechanic, a unique way to PvP and the ability each player has been granted to play some proper music in-game and smoke pipeweed. Now, to elaborate a bit:

  • Deeds and their accompanying titles (mind you, not all titles are deeds related; some can also be proof of heritage like Nalroth of Rivendell or Adelecar of the Fallohides) such as Wolf-tamer, Webslasher or Protector of the Shire are gained by killing loads of some particular beastie, fully exploring certain areas of the game world (e.g. discovering every titular farm of the Shire) or overusing an ability, and provide a variety of bonuses and interesting character customization options that have nothing to do with your level or class.


  • Fellowships, on the other hand, are something more anti-social gamers won’t be particularly interested in. They are the groups characters organize in, in order to pull through a more difficult quest, and do grant quite a few bonuses like the pretty excellent Fellowship maneuvers; special attacks only available to groups.


  • Instead of proper PvP, a decision Tolkien surely wouldn’t have been overjoyed with, you get the nice option of Monster Play in the rather barren Ettenmoors. Reach level ten, find a fell scrying pool (personally used a lovely one over at Thorin’s Gate) and you’ll get the chance to play as a level 50 orc/warg/spider (more baddies to be added soon) against high level players in a dynamic PvP campaign. It’s the freeps versus the creeps.

Truth is, I could go on and ramble about a thousand other little things, you know, if only to come up with the mother of all blog-based reviews, and I wouldn’t have even managed to scratch the surface of what a magnificent beast LotRO is. Things like the recent Solstice Festival, the raising difficulty of quest as one progresses eastward, destiny points, the amazingly detailed beginner’s quests (instanced) & areas, the sheer number of available emotes, the immensely helpful community are all there for you to discover, but -as expected- not all is perfect. LotRO is still very young by MMORPG terms. Monsters have serious clipping issues, the combat is not very tactical and, despite a huge gaming world, not all of Middle Earth is yet available. Oh, and it’s as expensive as WoW; definitely much better though. Still, an absolute must-try.

[youtube width=”600″ height=”480″]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JztbiHaaMUY[/youtube]

That’s a (nine) out of (ten).

Public Marriage Proposals gone wrong: Mascot Cheer-up

Guy gets turned down proposing at Basketball Game

Everyone has seen the public marriage proposals at sporting events, well what would happen if someone said no?


What’s funny about this video is first, you hear the announcer say, “I wish someone would say no to these.” and then when she turns him down the announcer is like, “I was just kidding, you know that right?”

What’s sad is the girl was put on the spot and most likely never knew it was coming. Sure, it is heartbreaking for the guy, but if you are not 100% sure she will say yes, why take the chance. They booed the poor girl so badly, but the mascot was there to cheer the guy up.

Check out McGrady, he is like, “Damn that was cold.”


Donkey Kong Country

Donkey Kong Country - SNES Box
There is a lot to say about this title. Not only did it gave me orgasms back in 1994, but it changed the way I looked at monkeys. According to this game, monkeys kick ass! They sure did when they released this masterpiece called Donkey Kong Country for the SNES. With the enhanced chip it came with the graphics got a big boost to the 32bit level. If you have played the game you will probably wet your pants as you see how beautiful it looks. Then again, with consoles nowadays there is no comparison but back then it was the game to play. If you haven’t played this game then stop reading this and go play it so that you can at least get a feel for it.

Donkey Kong Country Gameplay Screenshot
The game is quite simple. Games don’t need to be complicated to be good you know. There have been games that are just way too complicated which in the end, bores us to death. This is your typical platformer game where you jump, throw, and even hit the floor in order to destroy your enemies. In this game, you play as the almighty Donkey Kong and his sidekick Diddy Kong. Now, I’m not sure what their relation is but it feels that Donkey Kong is taking part of a big brother program and therefore is stuck with the Diddy. Either way, the work as a great time and it shows as from experience, these two work the best from the other two duos in later games.

Donkey Kong Country Gameplay Screenshot
Your main goal in the game is to recover your stolen bananas and you better do it quickly because bananas tend to rot if you don’t eat them in the coming days which makes me wonder why would he go after bananas that might be rotten by the time he gets to them. Poor Donkey Kong, he is sure in a very tight situation. Nevertheless, you go around the “country” and defeat each boss to recover your bananas. How dare they steal your food for the hibernation period!

Donkey Kong Country Gameplay Screenshot

The levels are very well done and takes advantage of your monkey’s abilities. There are secrets around every corner which should keep you busy especially if you want to discover them all. Now that will give you something to do for the whole summer. You also won’t have trouble listening to the game as the music is beautiful and very nature-like.

Be sure to practice your monkeys a lot because you’ll be going through some tougher levels later in the game. The game becomes moderately harder but not hard enough for you to say fuck this! I’m out!

Motivational Monday: Ninja Convention

Motivational Posters

Monday’s suck, perhaps this will make it a bit better.

Shows you will not see this fall



This list contains shows that will not be renewed or green lit for next season. I kept this list related to “geek” type shows like sci-fi comic book related, ect.

No Ordinary Family – ABC

The show about a family that gained super powers started off strong, but began to lose viewers and was preempted too many times. Also, the ending storyline with the family to be asked to work for the government just seemed like it was going in the wrong direction. Sadly, I liked the show and felt they kept the powers and stories in good line, until the end. Yet another Superhero show bites the dust.


We knew this was coming. The first episode started off well, but even that had many fans of the original series saying it was not good enough. When the show took a long break, we all said it was very unlikely it would return. When the show came back not enough people watched, but somehow the show was green lit for season two. Season two was better, but the rumors were the show was on the outs and with the ending killing off so many people we all pretty much knew that was it. It has to make you wonder if a movie would have been the better choice and/or if sci-fi is just better on cable than networks.

Wonder Woman – NBC

You can read the full article here. In a nutshell, the costume angered some and the visuals disappointed others and in the end the test screening did not score well enough to take a chance. Many believed David E Kelley was not right for the show and that Wonder Woman should be a movie that is true to the character not a hash of a bunch of storylines from old comic book tv shows.

The Cape – NBC

Sorry guys you will need to wait for Summer Glau to show up in another show that hopefully won’t end up cancelled like Terminator did. NBC has given the axe to the framed cop turned costume vigilante show, but they will be releasing the complete series DVD on July 5th if that makes anyone feel better.

Thank God for the Internet

There are quite a few shows that are being picked up or will become freshmen shows, but for us geeks that list is small. You have, Grimm, which is a police drama set in a world where fairy tales exist and you have, Fallen Skies, a sci-fi survival show about fighting back after a devastating alien invasion. Thank God for Netflix and Hulu.


Dark Age Of Camelot: The Second Coming

Hell yeah, I choose this deceptive title to make you think we had sort of insider information to a sequel for Mythic’s MMORPG Dark Age of Camelot. You must be pretty upset with me for that and disappointed in the world knowing that a second chance at an upgraded DAOC isn’t coming any time soon. Grim days I tell you, reader.

Hopefully you haven’t left yet so I can tell you about what I really wanted your attention for. Yes, it does involve Dark Age of Camelot.

We’re listening, you fat piece of shit.

Thank you for staying tuned. How long has it been since you’ve enjoyed the glory of RvR? No, I don’t mean the abortion of RvR that was present in Mythic’s failed Warhammer Online game. I mean real RvR. The kind where three realms go head to head on a battlefield, sieging keeps, slaying epic beasts, forming alliances, and claiming the rights to the world’s most powerful relics.

I know your mind is fluttering with thoughts of a time long ago where PvP in an MMO was actually interesting and purposeful to your entire faction. What would you do if you had a chance to revisit the past? Would you take the reins of life and steer them into the right direction?

Yeah, Umar. Cool story, bro. We can always resub to DAOC and its dwindling population, new rule sets, or play on classic servers for a nominal monthly fee.

Yes, that’s true. You could do that or…

You could play the sonuvabitch for free on the Uthgard Free Shard server. Yes, I said free. It is a DAOC emulated server with all the classic rule sets and additional content added from the staff.

The population is healthy and the community is active. All the instructions to download the game and get it working takes no longer than 5-10mins once the game has been installed. Enjoy your crusade as a proud member of Albion, mystify the world with your fairy magics in Hibernia, or bathe in the blood of the mighty as a Midgardian. That’s it. I have nothing else to say. Go play, haters.

Did Smallville’s series finale deliver?


In my opinion Smallville’s series finale did not deliver. Don’t get me wrong, I am not going to go off on a tangent about how I wasted years of my life watching the program (however, there were those Lana episodes). Like the series finale of Lost, I felt it did not deliver, but overall I still liked watching the show.

What was wrong in my opinion, well first off the wedding story was just flat. We first were led to believe a wedding was going to be part of the final episodes then Clark calls it off, then he reconsiders, then she calls it off then reconsiders and then they decide to go ahead with it only to have it interrupted and then postponed seven years and we still see no wedding in the end.

Forget cannon for a moment, that just was a waste to me. We have seen the on again, off again wedding story way to many times just as we have seen the wedding interrupted by a bad guy to many times to count. I just got the feeling that, like the Lost finale, they were killing time.

Second, we were once again treaded to possession of human’s stead of seeing a real villain. Yes, I understand on a television budget they would have a hard time making Darkseid look good, but to have him take over Lionel’s body was just bad. I could understand maybe if it was just a season finale, but the series finale, no, unacceptable. I almost rather have my Doomsday fight back than what we saw.

Speaking of which, another fight in Clarks barn and the way he was able to beat Lionel-seid was to fly into him? I just don’t understand why you can’t tailor the fights better to the budget, we have seen good T.V. fights before, but even his flying attack did not look good. Hell, the fight between Clark and Dark Oliver was better.

Yet another travesty was Green Arrow one-shotting all of Darkseid’s lieutenants. I understand Green Arrow is a badass and that he had the special arrows, but my God, you could not have cut out some of the Lois and Clark banter to give us a bit more of Green Arrow versus the terrible three?

Then we have Lex, again we suffer from the mind wipe problem that has plagued Smallville for quite some time. I knew they would have to find a way to make Lex forget everything, but the mind wiping gel smear job could have been done better. In fact even the Lex, Clark meet in the castle could have gone better and that was most likely the best part of the episode, well, besides Mercy kicking ass and killing alter-Lionel.

Last but not least was the reveal. I just felt as if everyone on the show was so exacted that they were playing the Superman theme that they forgot to actually make the visuals good. We see more of the suit with Clark’s father is holding it then when Superman is wearing it. We could have done without all the super close up headshots of Clark and see some of the suit without it being panned out and blurry. Then the big “treat” to the fans is Clark running on the roof of the Daily Planet and ripping his shirt open to see the “S” shield, no, not good enough.

If I had to rate the show I would give it a D+ and that is only because Lex was back and Mercy kicked ass, but besides that I am afraid Smallville will soon be forgotten. Overall, the series was decent and if people learn from their mistakes they can build on it for a future superhero show or pass on them all like Wonder Woman.


Guile Theme goes with Everything

Guile Theme goes with Everything

The title says it all, these are a series of videos where the audio and music was replaced with the theme of Guile from Street Fighter 2. Personally the KFC one is the best.






Lion King


Heavy Unit

Heavy Unit - PC Gameplay Screenshot 1

Heavy Unit (1990)
By: Kaneko / Taito Genre: Shooting Players: 1 Difficulty: Hard
Featured Version: NEC PC Engine / TurboGrafx-16 First Day Score: 6,900
Also Available For: Arcade, MegaDrive

If you were asked to think of a Taito shmup, there’s a good bet you’d immediately think of a Darius title. This is largely understandable due to the number of games in that series if nothing else, particularly on the PC Engine which was groaning under the weight of shmups of varying quality, but they did make a few other games of that type too. Among them is Heavy Unit, which is again a horizontal scroller converted from their arcade original. The story is pretty similar to that of the Darius games in that one of Mankind’s planets has come under attack and needs defending. In this case it’s our first artificial star and planet, Le Tau, which a race of genetically modified alien monsters has designs on! Naturally, it falls to you to vanquish this evil (and scary-sounding) foe by making use of the ‘Heavy Unit’, a heavily-armed transforming spaceship/mecha.

Heavy Unit - PC Gameplay Screenshot 1

The planet in question is apparently a rather diverse one, for the six stages that make up the game are all pretty distinctive, although that could be because the aliens have already had their way with it! Featuring a forest, gelatinous pink alien slimy stuff, and big metallic bases amongst its diverse locales makes it fairly easy on the eyes, but it’s definitely not easy on anything else – Heavy Unit is one of those ‘suicide missions’ which actually is! Each stage is filled with a wide variety of alien scum of many shapes and sizes. The small ones generally attack en masse and move quickly, and they don’t just go down after a single shot either! The larger ones are obviously less agile but make up for it with their firepower. Each stage also predictably ends with a large boss too, and some of these are pretty strange, including a dinosaur skeleton!

Heavy Unit - PC Gameplay Screenshot

Much like the recently-reviewed TransBot for the Master System, this game features a ship that can transform into a flying robot-type thing, and much like TransBot it’s a gimmick that really doesn’t serve any useful purpose. Here, that ability is one of a very small number of power-ups, and is basically a different weapon. Your ‘Heavy Unit’ ship looks fairly unspectacular and in fact is, in pretty much every way. Its default weapon is a puny pea-shooter and, unfortunately, power-ups with which to upgrade it are not frequent. When the ‘P’ icons do arrive though, they increase the power and range of its cannon and also provide weak missiles that fire above and below the ship. In order for your ship to undergo its aforementioned transformation, you need to look for a ‘T’ icon, which are even rarer. Collecting this will cause it to change into a flying robot, or mecha, which has a more powerful main gun, and homing missiles, and collecting it again will cause your craft to revert to its previous form.

Heavy Unit - PC Gameplay Screenshot

Remaining power-ups include the ‘B’ icon for a shield which protects you for a few hits, ‘S’ icons for much needed speed- ups, and ‘E’ icons for extra lives. All but the latter of these are found by shooting a certain type of enemy, but the extra lives are a little harder to find. There is one per stage (as far as I can tell) and each is hidden, usually in part of the scenery. They can be found by shooting at its location but you have to find out where that it first! That’s actually quite telling about this game’s biggest fault – take one of my favourite horizontal scrollers, Thunder Force 3 for example… When I play it from beginning to end without losing a life, by the final boss I have 23 lives. When doing the same with Heavy Unit for this review, I had 3. That gives you an idea of the relative abundance of extra lives to be found, and it’s indicative of the game’s insane difficulty level generally.

Heavy Unit - PC Gameplay Screenshot

Heavy Unit is a strange game. There’s nothing particularly remarkable about it but it’s not a bad game – what there is of it looks and sounds decent enough – it’s just so stupidly hard! Most games ease you in with the first few screens featuring small, relatively harmless enemies that you can pick off with a single shot. Here, the first enemy is a fast skeletal snake-type thing, and it will probably kill you repeatedly. You’ll probably soon decide that avoiding it is a better idea – it is killable but it’ll be a while before you actually manage it! After this there is another, then two more at once, all of which whoosh onto the screen at high speed, and all of which take multiple hits to destroy. After that you’ll reach the point from which the first screenshot is taken, above. This features three rapid-fire, directional cannons (each of which takes a real pummelling to disable), then, after navigating around a large moving piece of scenery you’re faced with three large, metallic snakes. Getting past this point will take multiple restarts, even for a fairly proficient shmup gamer, and it’s only the first three screens or so of the game! Utter insanity.

Heavy Unit - PC Gameplay Screenshot

Unsurprisingly, what with the somewhat harsh difficulty here, Taito didn’t have to make the stages very long. They do look fairly nice for the most part, and some parts of them are more than a screen high, but they scroll very slowly, and each would be over in minutes if it wasn’t for the inevitable restarts. Some parts of the later stages have moving obstacles, parts of the scenery, and barriers to further hamper your progress, but they needn’t have bothered as only a very small percentage of gamers will ever reach them. I played this game via emulation for this review. If I hadn’t, I’m confident I wouldn’t have even finished the first stage. It took me a good couple of hours to reach the final stage, and that was with saving and reloading my game about a hundred times! If Heavy Unit had a more forgiving difficulty curve, it would still be merely an average shmup, but as things stand there really is little to recommend. To make things worse, the collision detection is also pretty ropey here. Even the pause button didn’t seem to work at some points, usually the most critical of course! The PC Engine is positively swamped with shooting games. They’re not all great of course, but I haven’t yet played any less deserving of anyone’s time than this one. Unless you’re an insanely gifted gamer (or perhaps just insane), steer clear of this.


RKS Score: 3/10

Dead Rising: How to murder 60k Zombies

Dead Rising Zombies

Aeropause produced this most impressive of Dead Rising video walkthroughs, designed to teach aspiring undead slaughterers, how to swiftly rid their game worlds of enough zombies to earn them the prestigious Zombie Genocide Achievement. Go on. Watch the video. Gooood… Now, try it out yourself. You’ll make old mother happy again….