Alex Gaudino: Feat. Shena: Watch Out

Alex Gaudino Feat Shena Watch Out

This is a dance video by Alex Gaudino featuring Shena, the music video shows two men playing soccer and we all get to enjoy the lovely ladies on the screen.

[youtube width=”600″ height=”480″]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bgmAt3-ipM4[/youtube]

Alex Gaudino Feat Shena Watch Out Lyrics

expectations and possibilities
don’t need no crystalball across the probability
i plan to take you home, do what you do to me
come be my roller-coaster got you where we supposed to be

watch out
i’m digging
why don’t give it a try
deep down
can you feel it
you know i’ve been right
better hold tight
we gone turn it round
and around
and around
and around
and around

expectations of what you giving me
you’ve got me head to toe, your wet arm hold your arm on me
why don’t you satisfy my curiosity,
come be my romeo, you’ve got me where i wanna be yea

watch out
i’m digging
why don’t give it a try
deep down
can you feel it
you know i’ve been right
better hold tight
we gone turn it round
and around
and around
and around
and around

 

Zoolander

Zoolander - Movie Screenshot

Zoolander (2001)
Director: Ben Stiller Starring: Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Christine Taylor, Will Ferrell, Milla Jovovich, Jerry Stiller, Jon Voight

Certificate: 12 Running Time: 85 Minutes

Tagline: “3% Body Fat. 1% Brain Activity”

They say you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, but does that apply to movies too? I’m not sure it should as one look at the cover and tagline of this one should tell you all you need to know! Set in the glamorous / preposterous (delete as appropriate) world of the fashion industry where top designers who rely on cheap child labour in Malaysia are panicked by the Prime Minister of that country declaring that he intends to outlaw such practices. The industry bigwigs then order top designer, Mugatu (Ferrell), to find a male model stupid enough to be brainwashed into assassinating the Prime Minister before he can make his decree. Enter world famous veteran male supermodel, Derek Zoolander (Stiller), who is struggling to deal with brash upstart, Hansel (Wilson), stealing his limelight. But is anyone really that stupid?

Zoolander - Movie Screenshot

Yep, it’s a ridiculous concept, based on a pretty ridiculous character introduced by Stiller at the 1996 VH1 Fashion Awards, but I’m sure it’s not intended to be anything else. Taking the not-exactly-groundbreaking revelation that models are as dumb as a bag of hammers and stretching it to breaking point, Stiller, who also directs, has a ball as “really really ridiculously good looking” moron, Derek. Much of the cast is made up of his family and friends with fellow ‘Frat Pack’ alumni Owen Wilson as rival model, Hansel, Vince Vaughn as his estranged, mute brother, and Will Ferrell on top form as fashion mogul, Mugatu. Joining them is his real-life wife, Christine Taylor, as snooping reporter, Matilda, and his father, Jerry Stiller, as his manager, Maury. Only Jovovich as Mugatu’s henchman (or henchwoman), Katinka, will be unfamiliar to Stiller fans.

Zoolander - Movie Screenshot

This isn’t the kind of film that calls for particularly amazing acting on the part of most of them though, the comedic burden is placed squarely on the shoulders of the three leads, a requirement each is well-versed in exceeding. The premise of Stiller and Wilson as top models is funny enough to begin with, but everything is so over-the- top and exagerated, whether it’s Derek’s retirement from modelling and subsequent attempt at coal-mining to his friends petrol fight (I guarantee you won’t be able to listen to Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go without thinking of this film again!), not to mention near enough every scene featuring Mugatu! There are also cameos aplenty including David Bowie, Natalie Portman, Billy Zane, Lenny Kravitz, and a variety of fashion-world regulars.

Zoolander - Movie Screenshot

Zoolander didn’t do well at the box office but like so many other films, it found its feet on home release and finally got the plaudits it deserves, and to such as extent that there’s now apparently a sequel planned! You won’t find an intelligent, inter-weaving plot here, nor multi-million dollar special effects, but if you have any interest in absurd spoofs, this is one for you. Let’s face it, the fashion world is as ripe for spoofing as anything could be, and Stiller lets rip with aplomb, even finding time to riff on Godfather Part 2 and 2001 of all films! In fact, pretty much every scene has a gag of some sort and there’s a good hit-rate here. The soundtrack is good too, with some well-placed music complementing the insanity well. Stupid, ridiculous, absurd, and crazy? Yes! But it’s also really really ridiculously funny!

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aWpcfA8vY-c

RKS Score: 8/10

Sensible Soccer: 2006

Sensible Soccer 2006
At last, a chance to toss those silly looking joypads aside and grab what real men were always supposed to grab. Joysticks! Yes, joysticks, even better digital joysticks, for this is a review of Sensible Soccer‘s latest spawn, and Sensible Soccer was meant to be played only in the traditional way. The joystick way. Oh, in case you didn’t know, it also happened to be the best footie ever, on any platform and of every possible universe. Of course not everybody believed this. The unenlightened ones grumbled about the lack of impressive eye-candy, the incompetent ones about the lightning fast gameplay speed, the stuck-in-the-past ones about Sensi not being Kick Off 3 and the really hopeless ones about the lack of realism.
Well, my friends, if you want realism, go out, play football and feel the pain. If, on the other hand, you want the best feel of the beautiful game, the perfect footbaling pace, the anti-goalie aftertouch, and all this without risking a heart attack, then play Sensible Soccer, preferably on the Amiga and if possible with a digital joystick.

What do you mean you don’t have an Amiga? Who says that’s ancient history? Just kill the FIFA fanboy in you, gag your inner PES groupie, and stay with me, as I tell you an almost perfect fairy tale, lovingly named Sensible Soccer 2006, The Rebirth of a Legend, dealing with the second attempt to bring Sensible Soccer in the 3d era and the first one that actually manages it. A story of great successes and minor failures, a story of football wet dreams and ball porn. A story about the best, but unfortunately not without its flaws, contemporary footie on the PC. A story about a game that doesn’t cost a fortune. This is the story of

Sensible Soccer 2006.

Actually, it’s no story. It’s a review. Sorry about that.
Sensible Soccer 2006

Sensi 2006 is played in the traditional 16bit bird’s eye view, just like its revered daddy, only slightly zoomed in, a bit angled and with a quite more dynamic camera. In case you were wondering, that’s totally unlike the FIFA/PES viewpoints and definitely a good thing, as the player can see a much greater part of the field, thus having a chance to get imaginative with his passing, pull through smart long balls, deep crosses, or even score a 40 metre goal. All this was admittedly already there in the original Sensi. What the 2006 version added to the experience are some very stylish 3d cell shaded graphics and excellent replays, a greater variety of stadiums, weather conditions and outfits and quite a few new game mechanic changes.
Every player now has a certain amount of stamina, that has to last him for the whole match. Then -and that’s quite an important bit- 2 more buttons have been added to Sensi‘s original one-button gameplay, the first being for short passes and the second for sprinting. Finally, the (much improved) keeper can instantly be controlled with the press of a button. Oh, and there is a small arrow showing the direction the ball will follow if kicked. Aftertouch has by large remained the same (just flick the joystick right after the ball leaves the player’s foot to the desirable direction), as has the two players mode. Make that the glorious two players mode, that shames the multiplayer capabilities of any MMORPG or FPS. Well, at least in the fun-factor it does…

Sensible Soccer 2006

Unfortunately, though, Sensible Soccer 2006 isn’t perfect. It doesn’t even give you the chance to lead the Dead Rockstars team to victory. There are also slight problems, a mediocre tactics screen, un-funny spin-off names for real players (there’s an editor though), and at times a lack of polish. Nothing that couldn’t get fixed with a patch mind you, but irritating nonetheless. The controls are at (rare) times unexpectedly unresponsive, some offsides spotted by the ref just don’t exist, and graphic glitches haven’t been 100% avoided. Add to this that the original Sensible Soccer was apparently much faster. And better (at least on the Amiga).

Still though. An amazingly fun football game. Codemasters just did it!

That’s an (eight and a half) out of (ten).

The Obsolete Gamer Show: Back to Business

classic_video_games

This week we had our flame-war starting writer, Umar back in the studio and the talk focused on most of the staff playing League of Legends. We also talk about failing or failed MMO’s and pricing of games and MMO and the differences between a rabid gamer and a rabid sports fan. All in all a good show, let you know what you think.

The Obsolete Gamer Show: Back to Business

Or have a listen on our official OGS page and let us know what you think.

Or download our podcast from Itunes

 

Red Fang: Prehistoric Dog

Red Fang

Here is a pretty awesome music video from the group, Red Fang. This song is titled Prehistoric Dog and the video features some funny scenes involving the band a group of LARP’ers.

[youtube width=”600″ height=”480″]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fuRKRFjm-HA[/youtube]

You can check out their website here.

 

Prehistoric Dog Lyrics

Dogs that howl from outer space
Come to Earth to lay to waste
With fang and claw to shred your face
They will erase the human race
Time to kiss your ass goodbye
Prehistoric dogs of war
Pack of wolves is at your door
Their will to kill will fill the pits of hell
Blood is spilled and none too soon
Looking down from cratered moon
They see us flee we need to break the spell
Dogs that howl from outer space
Come to Earth to lay to waste
With fang and claw to shred your face
They will erase the human race
Time to kiss your ass goodbye
Our lives are long
But our flesh is gone
It may be wrong
God bless godlessness
We’re walking tall
If we walk at all
We’re living like a
Prehistoric dog

 

 

Star Fox

Star Fox- SNES Box
A game that left me wanting for more was the first ever Star Fox. Using the Super FX chip, the SNES took their graphics to a whole new level. It was something that we never imagined could be done but the true capabilities of the SNES left all of us in an awe. The game is quite simple. You fly around in your spaceship and complete missions. You have the ability to choose your path which can go from easy to hard. It’s up to you to pick which path you want to go through to challenge your skills. Of course, I suggest you go through the easy path first and then the hard path because it’ll make things a lot easier and a better gameplay experience.

Star Fox - Gameplay Screenshot

 

The game’s graphics were amazing for the time and got everyone out of their seat which really means a lot. We were just getting into the 3D era so anything three-dimensional would give us orgasms in a sec. It was that good! The music is also very impressive as it gives you that feel that you are in the game itself. You will have a lot of challenges and interesting characters to keep you playing the game.

Make sure you and your comrades work as a team. This means you have to help them out whenever they ask you, don’t be a douche. If there is someone behind attacking your comrade then be sure to save his ass! To conclude, the game is a thrill to play and very satisfying until the end. There is so much to love about this game and so little to hate. Be sure to check out the practice mode if you are new to the whole Star Fox saga.

Sunshine Cleaning

Sunshine Cleaning (2008)
Director: Floria Sigismondi Starring: Amy Adams, Emily Blunt, Alan Arkin, Jason Spevack, Steve Zahn, Mary Lynn Rajskub, Clifton Collins Jr

Certificate: 15 Running Time: 91 Minutes

Tagline: “Life’s a messy business”

Sunshine Cleaning

There are a few films that, rather than ease you in with a plot-teasing hook, instead go for the explosive opening to drive home a point. This is one of those films. The point it demonstrates? That death can be messy! The film opens with a normal, middle-aged, respectable-looking white guy who, after spraying breath freshener in his mouth, calmly walks into a gun shop of the type that are so prevalent in the US, asks to see a specific type of shotgun, and proceeds to spray the contents of one of its shells into his mouth as well. The resulting mess, we learn with the help of police detective, Mac (Zahn), is hard and time-consuming to clean up. Enter sisters, Rose (Adams) and the younger Norah (Blunt). The former is a single-mother and part-time cleaner who life hasn’t really worked out for, and the latter is a lazy waster who hasn’t really tried to work out life.


Sunshine Cleaning

Having just been fired from her latest dead-end job, Norah is reduced to babysitting for her sister while she sneaks off for some rumpy pumpy with Mac, her high-school sweetheart who ended up marrying someone else. It’s here during some post-coital natter that Mac casually mentions to Rose that there’s a lot of money to be made cleaning up crime scenes. Almost immediately she lines up her first job and arrives, sister in tow, ill-equipped and completely unprepared. Rose soon starts to realise this and, with the help of one-armed supplies wholesaler, Winston (Collins Jr), begins to actually learn the trade. Norah, meanwhile, is busy meddling in the lives of the recently deceased, particularly the daughter of their first ‘job’, Lynn (Rajskub). All the while, their wacky father, Joe (Arkin) is busy looking for the next get-rich-quick scheme while babysitting Rose’s son, Oscar (Spevack).

Sunshine Cleaning

It’s certainly an original premise! I’m personally a big fan of this kind of US indie. You know, the kind that’s hard to categorise. The kind that, if you explained it to the average person, they’d think it sounds weird, boring, or both! One of the things I like about films like this is the kind of actors they often attract, and Sunshine Cleaning is another – it has a fantastic cast including rising stars, Adams and Blunt, both of whom I’ve liked since I saw them in Junebug and My Summer of Love respectively. They both give great performances here as they try to get their lives back on track, with Blunt in particular, who now appears to be challenging Zooey Deschanel for resident indie ‘kooky outcast’, being particularly impressive. Alan Arkin pretty much continues his Little Miss Sunshine role (by the same producers, coincidentally), but that’s certainly no bad thing. Mary Lynn Rajskub (24’s Chloe) is also good as Norah’s new friend, Lynn, although she seems to be continuing her run of ‘most screentime without smiling’.

Sunshine Cleaning

Great performances aside, there’s a lot to like about Sunshine Cleaning. It’s subject matter gives the film the potential to be much darker than it is, and some opportunities for jet-black humour went begging, but it remains a highly enjoyable, feel-good film with plenty of quirky comedic moments.

RKS Score: 7/10

Top Five PlayStation: Racing Games

I’ve always been of the opinion that fancy graphics are far less important than a well-designed game. I think my continued love or retro games and enduring disdain for modern gaming is evidence enough of this, but there’s always been one exception – driving/racing games. Try as they might, developers in the 80’s and early 90’s were rarely able to fashion both a playable and convincing into-the-screen racer outside of the arcades, and I can probably count on the fingers of one hand how many I personally liked. That is until the CD-ROM-based consoles appeared. The Need For Speed on the 3DO was perhaps the first indication of what this medium could do for the genre but it took the release of the Saturn and PlayStation for it to reach full bloom, with the latter system producing both the most numerous and most impressive examples yet seen.

I personally got into PlayStation gaming late, sticking loyally with my good old Saturn for as long as there were games made for it, but eventually I had to join the ranks of the competition. When I did, a majority of the time I spent on it was spent playing driving games. I certainly didn’t play all of the ones on offer but of the ones I did play, here are in my opinion the Top Five:

Special Note: A big thanks to Martyn Carroll, Facebook friend and editor of the original version of Retro Gamer magazine (and contributor to the current incarnation) for providing me with a working PlayStation emulator for this piece. Yes, I own the originals of the games featured here, but I needed the emulator to get the screenshots, so… thanks Martyn, I owe you one!

Games-Related Top Fives Disclaimer: I’ve traditionally stuck to the games I know and love so far, and these game-related top fives reflect that. One of the purposes of this blog is diversify my gaming experiences, to play games I haven’t played before, so I will do new game-related top fives in a few years to see how different they are!

 

If I review any PS1 driving games in my upcoming feature that get really high scores, they don’t appear in this Top Five because I hadn’t played them before! (a.k.a covering my arse!)

5. Total Drivin’ (1997)

Total Drivin

I bought this game cheap with no prior knowledge of it on the off-chance it might be worth the risk. Luckily it paid off! Whilst far from the pinnacle of the PlayStation’s graphical achievements, it is pretty innovative in other ways. The championship mode, for example, features races in various locations around the world and consequently on a variety of surfaces. To this end, there’s not just one type of racing here but five – Rally, Sports, Indy, Buggies, and Dakar Rally! One of my favourite things about this game is that your opponents aren’t just bunched up behind you waiting for a mistake – the better you race, the further ahead you’ll get. You can even lap them if you’re fast enough! This is a great and underrated racing game with a lot more variety than even Gran Turismo.

4. Porsche Challenge (1997)

Porsche Challenge

This was the first game I ever got for my PlayStation when I finally gave up hope for my beloved Saturn, and I was very pleased with it. Admittedly, looking back, the graphics are a little ropier than I remember – the car models are nice (as you would expect from a game with an official license) but the draw distance isn’t great and there’s a fair bit of pop-up, but luckily it still plays very nicely. The only car available to drive is the Boxster but there are six different coloured ones to choose from, each driven by its own character, some of whom exchange banter between races. There’s only four courses to race over but they’re pretty long and there’s many variations of each (mirrored, reversed, extra sections, with shortcuts, etc), and all are very enjoyable to drive around. A not-too-hectic racer that provides a really pleasant driving experience.

3. Ridge Racer Type 4 (1998)

Ridge Racer Type 4

I don’t care what anyone says, Ridge Racer sucks big floppy donkey dicks and so does its ‘sequel’, Revolution. Rage Racer, however, was where Namco started rectifying this situation and RR4 (complete with ridiculous and unnecessary Type in its title) is arguably where the series peaked. Featuring a huge number of courses (for RR standards) and billions of car variations, it’s already infinitely better than the stupid original, but it also vastly improves the horrifying handling problems that blighted earlier efforts too. It has a number of play modes including an excellent career mode, and in my opinion is one of the best looking racing games to appear on Sony’s debut console with races taking place at various times of day meaning some lovely lighting effects. Ridge Racer finally becomes a must-play!

2. Colin McRae Rally (1998)

Colin McRae Rally

Yes, the second game in the series (also on PS1) is technically more impressive but I’ve always preferring playing this original. It pretty much kickstarted the whole rally game craze by itself, and with good reason – driving Mr. McRae’s iconic blue Impreza around the world’s rally courses was a fantastically enjoyable experience. Near enough any kind of driving surface (and weather condition) you can think of is catered for here and the attention to detail is amazing – watch your car get progressively dirtier throughout the race (and damaged if you keep hitting trees!). There’s no in-game music, no opponents to race against (on-screen, anyway), just precision driving, and it had arguably never been done better.

1. Gran Turismo (1998)

Gran Turismo

I’m sure a majority of PlayStation gamers would opt for the second game in the series as the peak of the genre on their favourite console but I’m not sure any driving game had as much of an impact on me as this original. It pretty much rewrote the rule book on what could be achieved in a driving videogame with its license tests forcing you to earn the right to race in the game’s various classes, huge range or real cars to buy, race in, and customise, near-photo-realistic replays, and hugely intricate championship mode. It’s amazingly playable and addictive too – I had great fun gradually building up my Honda Prelude to an all-conquering rice-rocket! There was more to this game than most racing fans could dream of at the time and it still impresses today.

Hyper Crush: The Arcade

Hyper Crush - The Arcade

Originally from Los Angeles, Hyper Crush began with only with two band member and was called Bel-Airs. When their female vocalist joined the name of the band and the style of the music changed to what they became known for.

The Arcade was released in 2008 and was directed by Mickey Finnegan.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0dpC7FTl00Q[/youtube]

 

Back to the Ship

Captain Kirk LSS

This video created by Fall on Your Sword pretty much shows you how Captain Kirk had taken to much LSD. The video is pretty awesome especially if you are a Star Trek Fan.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQ3c8_ZTNrg[/youtube]

back-to-the-ship

Here are the lyrics:

Space. Space. Space. Space. Space. Space.

Captain’s log, stardate two point five something. I’ve taken too much LSD. I’m trapped on the planet’s surface. I’ve been trapped here taking plant poisons, LSD. I can’t breathe. I’m underwater. I feel like my penis is on the ground.

Captain’s log, stardate two point five something. Psi deck. Can’t talk, I’ve taken too much LSD.

I’m—transmitting from the Earth’s core. I’m trapped on this planet without my crew, without my ship.

I’ve—taken some sort of psychedelic plant here. Couldn’t be avoided. I’m now lying on my back. I’m trying to get a circumcision.

My penis needs me wrapped in pure alcohol.

I need to go back to the ship. I can’t breathe.

Need to go b-b-back to the ship. I can’t breathe.

Need to go back to the ship. I can’t breathe.

Need to go back to the ship. I can’t breathe.

Need to go b-b-back to the ship. I can’t breathe.

Some sort of—some sort of—some sort of—some sort of planet, leave me out of this poison ground.

Captain’s log, stardate two point something, fucking God, taken too much LSD. I got to get off this planet.

My crew, my ship, too lackadaisical, too stoned, to even respond. I need some sort of a remedy. I hate to—hate to contact the ship service. Go two time, go two times, time the poison a line to take the vibe off. Never taken so much LSD in my life.

I hate to—hate to—hate to—

Need to go back to the ship. I can’t breathe.

Need to go b-b-back to the ship. I can’t breathe.

Need to go back to the shake to got breathe.

Need to go back to the ship. I can’t breathe.

Need to go b-b-back to the ship. I can’t breathe.

Need to go back to the ship. I can’t breathe.

Need to go back to the ship. I can’t breathe.

Need to go b-b-back to the ship. I can’t breathe.

Capt to crew, I’ve got an emergency. I’m on the planet’s surface. I seems to—hello, Country Crow.

This is Sulu, go ahead.

I’ve got some kind of emergency down here with some kind of a psychedelic plant. I feel like I’m breathing liquid water. Hello, crew.

Get it to start.

What the hell are you talking about, Captain? Can you name even since? Have ya taken more LSD, have ya?

I’m trying to take as much poison as I can to get this lackadaisical crew pointed in the right direction.

Listen, I’m just only fucking lying, Captain.

My people is like a penis crew. I can’t go on the ground. I have to breathe two times. I feel like two thousand people. I’m tripping out. I need help. Some kind of sick bay. I hate to—hate to—hate to—

Need to go back to the ship. I can’t breathe.

Need to go b-b-back to the ship. I can’t breathe.

Need to go back to the ship. I can’t breathe.

Hate to—need to go back to back. I can’t breathe.

Need to go b-b-back to the ship. I hate to.

Need to go back to back. I can’t breathe.

Need to go back to the ship.

Need to go, need to go, need to go, back.

Penis, LSD, I’m on the ground; I can’t breathe water. I can’t pee like a ground TV. I gotta go two times. I have to go home. Please.

I need help. I’ve taken two times as many times as LSD that can kill me. I’m a man. I can’t go on the ground. I’m breathing LSD. I got penises all over me. I hate to—

Need to go back to the ship. I can’t breathe.

Need to go b-b-back to the ship. I can’t breathe.

Need to go back to the ship. I can’t breathe.

Hate to—need to go back to back. I can’t breathe.

Need to go b-b-back to the ship.

I hate to—need to go back to the back. I can’t breathe.

Need to go b-b-back to the ship. I believe.

Need to go, need to go, need to go, back, breathe.

Want to call a ship, need to go to planet’s surface, be naked. Permanently.

 

Nintendo Rube Goldberg Animation

Nintendo Rube Goldberg Animation
The greatest artists have mostly been inspired by the grand and perpetual human drama. Be it personal or social, Art has always been about us. Not digital Italian plumbers, or peculiar Far Eastern brand names. Apparently times have changed. A simple, but admittedly quite inspired, YouTube video can prove it:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_4VZOjKRxA[/youtube]

The ZX Spectrum Bible

Actually, more of the ZX Spectrum PDF emulation Bible, but this would be too long a post title… Still, oh wise and cheap-ass retroheads, just click here and you’ll get yourselves the brilliant 82 pages long PDF of the aptly (and rather eloquently) named The ZX Spectrum on your PC. Brilliant, educating, handy, quite free and sporting a nice cover, this is as retro as an ebook can get.

 

Germ Attack

Germ Attack

I’m not the type to say no to a free game, even if it means reviewing it, and Germ Attack, was indeed given to me as a free review copy. Further good news is, it is actually a smart, nice little game. Bad news is, it’s another color-matching casual game, in the style of Sweety Puzzle (by the same developer).

Germ Attack, though, introduces an interesting and rather successful twist to the color-matching mechanics, that makes for quite a refreshing gameplay experience. Instead of placing colored candy on a grid a la Sweety Puzzle, arranging falling colored objects a la Columns or utilizing a Baku Baku mechanic, Germ Attack lets you rotate (apparently colored) germs, as they are placed on the playing area. Not easily described, but simple and intuitive, and you’ll get the whole idea by playing the demo for 15 seconds. Here’s a screenshot:

Germ Attack Gameplay Screenshot

Got it now? No? Doesn’t matter. Trust me, it’s really addictive, and for the price of 6.95$ you get 60 well designed and quite varied levels, presented with great hand-drawn graphics. Have a look by clicking here. Or here. No, here!

That’s a (seven) out of (ten).

The PFI Tripe: Video Game Movie Awards


Pac-Man

Good evening ladies and gents!!! I”m happy to announce that the last edition of the Tripe awards BEAT AMERICAN IDOL in the ratings!!! We”re on our way to the final episode of Friends, to beat that in the ratings, I”m unleashing the most ANTICIPATED award of this series: THE DATA MEMORIAL AWARDS!! Honoring the absolute WORST endings in known film history. Look for that the night of the last episode of Friends, together we can beat their asses!!!! As for now, on with the show!!!! Tonight”s presenter of the prestigious CINEMA KILLED THE VIDEO GAME STAR award, hardly needs an introduction, he is the one…the only……

Pac-man

Pac Man: Thank you Paul! Thankfully a movie has NOT been made based on my escapades, however, if that were to happen, it”s still be better than tonight”s recipients! Tonight”s awards feature movies that have been inspired by video games, however there”s one thing the PFI wishes to get across. These awards are given based on the movies, not how much they resemble the video games that inspired them. There have been some video game movies that had little to do with the game, and still ended up great (Super Mario Bros. is a good example, imagine if they made a movie JUST like the game, it”d get a Tripe award). Just wanted to mention that in passing. And now the winner of tonight”s first award…..

Tomb Raider

LARA CROFT: TOMB RAIDER!!

Paul: Thanks Pac Man!! Angelina Jolie is over-rated. Much like American Idol and Friends, I can”t understand mainstream America”s obsession with her. JANE Voight, I like to call her, as the poor thing looks like her father in drag. Ah well to each his/her own. Based on this love for Jolie, droves of people flocked to see Tomb Raider. I went to see it not because of Jane Voight, but because I was a mild fan of the highly popular game series, and, I was bored. The movie ended up being so horrific, I cring at the words “Lara Croft”, and I haven”t played any of the games since. Yes, it”s that bad. Imagine a movie where EVERY SINGLE action scene leads to NOTHING. Example: A 10 minute action scene where the alleged “bad guys” are invading Lara”s mansion, during this whole fight, one guy sneaks off, and steals some relic that Lara is protecting. As this man is escaping she just smiles, and walks away.

Yes.

Smiles.

And Walks away.

You know, as a matter of fact, all she does in the movie is smile and walk away. Someone will tell her something, she”s smile and walk away. This happens 435325432q523653427624624y457hdjnfysmsym53 times in the movie, don”t believe me?, see it. If I weren”t being a cineamtic masochist that day, I WOULD”VE SMILED AND WALKED AWAY from the theater, but then there”d be no Tripe Awards, would that be a good thing?! Anyways, there”s a gratutious shower scene that was put there for whack off material (for guys that either a) don”t have the internet, or b) have the internet but are in denial that FREE PORN exists on the net.)

In this scene,because of the measly PG-13 rating, you don”t see ANYTHING except for maybe Jane Voight”s bare ass. GOOD! That eliminates a good chunk of the audience”s wishes! hahahhahahahaha!!! The bad guys in the movie are people called the illuminati, and they”re bad, because, ummmmmmmm……ummmmmmm….they are old guys. They want some relic that Lara has, it”s a very important relic because ummmmmmm….ummmmmmmmm.

Don”t know, movie didn”t explain, and if they did, I didn”t care. At the end of the movie, in an ice cave, Lara and one of the bad guys grab hold of this relic at the same time, all of a sudden they are transported to another realm, there is this huge black triangle they must climb up to reach some shit that I don”t remember. Does that make any sense to you guys?? It makes even LESS SENSE if you actually see it, trust me. It looked like a Tony Robbins infomercial showing people climbing to the top of the proverbial pyramid of life, it was that ridiculous.

Tony Robbins

NOTHING however can top the ending. She reaches the top of Tony Robbins” pyramid first, grabs hold of Tinkerbell. All of a sudden, the ice cave stars to collapse. She finds SNOW DOGS, and she sleighs her way out of the collapsing ice cave, SMILING and laughing the entire time. At this point I too was smiling and laughing, that the movie was OVER and that I can go home and do something more constructive with my time, like watch the chia pet grow. I hear the sequel is actually worse, I might just see it only to put it in these awards. Hey Pac Man, you saw Lara Croft: Tomb Raider, what did you think?

Pac Man: Click!

Paul: My thoughts exactly! Take it away Pac!!!!!

Pac Man: Our next movie is an inexcusable, I repeat, INEXCUSABLE piece of zombie dog shit. The second award of the night goes to….

Resident Evil

RESIDENT EVIL!!!!!

Paul: I have to admit, sometimes I”ll go into a movie ASSURED that it will suck, and sometimes I”m WRONG and I eat my foot. To swing the pendulum the other way though, there will be movies that I am ASSURRED will suck, and they actually turn out to be WORSE than I expected, ladies and gentlemen, Resident Evil. Where to begin….I CHALLENGE anyone who can give me a name for the main character of the movie, plus the guy she was with. I challenge anyone who can tell me why they were in bed with each other, and what they were doing in that mansion. There, that”s for starters. They descend with a bunch of marines and they encounter Survival Horror Movie Cliche” #1: Strange Creepy Little Girl with english accent, this time in digitized form, wtf-ever. Next we encounter THE ONLY SCENE OF VISIBLE VIOLENCE AND GORE IN THE MOVIE.

The laser scene, one of the first to die is, Survival Horror Movie Cliche #2: THE BLACK GUY. The scene was amusing enough, little did I know that in this zombie movie (yes, it”s a zombie movie, more on that later) that”s the last violence I”d see. We encounter zombies that resemble the zombies in Thriller by Michael Jackson. That”s just ignorant. Instead of it being scary, it looked laffable. They start firing weapons at the zombies. Want gore, blood violence? It is a zombie movie right? Well, too fucking bad, let me storyboard Resident Evil for you. Camera shows someone firing gun, next zombie comes, some fires shotgun, next zombie comes, somebody swipes an axe, they go down the elevator to the next level. Now, in that mini storyboard, was there ANY shots of the zombie”s being sliced or blown away??? Nope. This BULLSHIT is most prevalent in the DOG scene, which in the video game is most memorable, yet forgettable in the movie. The dogs JUMP towards “Jane Doe” and she fires a sawed off shotgun repeatedly, not one camera shot of the hellhounds being destroyed.

Oh, don”t give me the whole “PETA wouldve gone nuts and bla bla bla”. Watch Cujo and Man”s Best Friend, hell even OLD YELLER, then proceed to kiss my ass. All this time we have Survival Horror Movie Cliche #3: The Battle Hardened Female Military Grunt. Michelle Rodriguez, a good actress, turns in one of the worst on screen performances ever. A complete RIP OFF of Vasquez from Aliens, all she does in this movie is pout. Even through the incessant pouting though, it”s still better than SMILING AND WALKING AWAY RTHTDHAHBARG ::CLUBS SEAL::. There are some scenes of the movie that would”ve been intense and scary, like roaming the halls of the lab, but since MARILYN FUCKING DIPSHIT MANSON is playing loudly in the background, we can”t pay attention the the ambience of the lab. After battling more of Michael Jackson”s minions and not seeing a drop of blood, they go on this train thing, and while Michelle Rodriguez Vasquez De Santa Anna continues to pout, a huge monster comes out of nowhere and starts eating the train.

I think I blanked out based on the stupidity factor alone, all I remember is her waking up, and everything is destroyed in the city, setting it up for possibly an equally horrific sequel. Oh I also remember me not caring. Paul Anderson is a great director (Mortal Kombat, Soldier, Event Horizon, HOPEFULLY Alien vs. Predator), but after seeing this crapfest, I have my doubts. I was NOT entertained by Resident Evil. If the movie did one thing though, it made me appreciate the game even more, even with it”s equally horrific acting, I get a satisfying storyline that makes sense, plus I see violence and gore, something that should be PREVALENT in a zombie movie, like the fantastic DAWN OF THE DEAD. Game over. Pac Man your thoughts?

Pac Man: Click!

Paul: You”re the best Pac Man!!!

Pac Man:Click!

Last and certainly not least, we have here the single worst movie ever made. Yes, the absolute WORST, this movie can almost fall into ANY of the Tripe Award categories, but it best fit in this one for obvious reasons…..the worst of the worst, ladies and gentlemen…..here it is:


Motal Kombat

Paul: NEVER before has a movie”s tagline SUITED the movie more. DESTROY ALL EXPECTATIONS. Literally. After the GLORY and GENIUS that was the first Mortal Kombat movie, one would hope that second one would equal or BEST it. I was almost in tears leaving the theater that night. How, how could it happen??? This is how. Imagine fitting almost every character from the MK series into one 1.5 hour movie. Chracters like Sheeva and the Barakas would come and go like nothing. If you went up to get popcorn and came back, you just missed 5 MK characters thet you”d DIE to see on screen. Nightwolf does NOTHING. Sub Zero comes then DISAPPEARS. MONSTERS COME OUT OF WALLS TO EAT PEOPLE. ESHETAJATJMNATJMNATJN IT MAKES NO SENSE ERAHEARHJNRAHJNRAHNJEA. WHY GOD WHY??? I saw the movie with Fernando, he made two of the best comments ever uttered in a theater, because they”re so TRUE.

1) This is a porno, but instead of fucking, there”s fighting.
2) Part 1 is WWF, part 2 is WCW.

LMFAO I can”t think of better words to describe MK Annihilation. Thinking about this movie gives me a headache. Remember at the end of the first MK movie, the EVIL AND WRETCHED SHAO KAHN?????? For some UNGODLY reason, in part 2 he”s played by some 20something year old actor who can”t act his way out of a barrel. Same with Motaro. You just look at him and laugh your ass off. The pinnacle of stupidity are the animalities at the end of the movie. They make the old godzilla flicks look like special effects extravaganzas. Oh then Shao Kahn”s father turns into a black box and disappears. The movie is so bad it”s WORTH seeing. It”s no wonder that only 2 actors from part 1 signed for the second movie, the others were actually smart and read the script b4 signing on. Even James Remar, usually a GOOD actor, sucked as Raiden. MST3K needs to come back and destroy this movie. Badly. Resident Evil And Tomb Raider are masterpieces in comparison. And after tonight, thats saying a WHOLLLLLLLE LOT! PAC MAN???!!!!

Pac Man:Click!

Paul: I think the Tripe killed him!! Stay tuned next week as we unveil the “JOHNNY DEPP SHAME AWARDS!!!!!” Until then, Godspeed

 

PlayPlay

The Runaways

The Runaways Moive Review
The Runaways (2010)

Director: Floria Sigismondi Starring: Kristen Stewart, Dakota Fanning, Michael Shannon, Stella Maeve, Scout Taylor-Compton, Alia Shawkat, Riley Keough

Certificate: 15 Running Time: 106 Minutes

Tagline: “It’s 1975 and they’re about to explode”

The 70’s must’ve been a fascinating time to live. Granted, I saw some of its years but I was far too young to notice anything much and had to discover it all later on. Among these things was music. A lot of music. The decade is now remembered for many reasons but one of the prevailing legacies of the 70’s is not only the number of talented musicians to emerge, but also the amount of innovation and new styles that appeared. The end of the decade is probably most famous for the punk explosion but their preceding years were also notable. I’m sure pretty much everyone has heard of Joan Jett but I for one was far less aware of the band in which she previously performed – The Runaways.

The Runaways Moive Review

She was pretty much born to be a rock star. From an early age it was Joan Jett’s (Stewart) ambition to form as all-girl rock band, and after intriguing record producer, Kim Fowley (Shannon), with the proposition after a chance encounter, it starts to look as if she may get the chance. Elsewhere, the vulnerable, 15 year-old Cherie Currie (Fanning) is busy dealing with her difficult home life as best she can, including entering a school talent show as a glammed-up David Bowie. Meanwhile, having added a drummer and bassist to Jett’s guitar skills, Kim is on the lookout for a ‘Brigitte Bardot’ style frontgirl. As luck would have it, she just happens to be among the revellers at a nightclub where Joan and Kim are scouting for suitable candidates.

The Runaways Moive Review

And so began The Runaways. From their first rehearsal in a small trailer to their first tour to their first record deal… it’s all captured here in glorious period detail. Obviously their story is greatly condensed, and some liberties have been taken with the subject matter, as confirmed by the real Cherie Currie in a recent interview. The trio of Jett, Currie, and Fowley dominate the screentime with remaining band members Sandy West (Maeve), Lita Ford (Taylor-Compton), and Robin (Shawkat) relegated to the sidelines somewhat. However, some delving reveals at least part of the reason for this. West sadly died in 2006, so obviously couldn’t participate in the film, Ford refused to participate, and Jackie Fox apparently wasn’t even asked to for some reason, and didn’t appear in the film – the fictional character of Robin was created in her place.

The Runaways Moive Review

Given the prominence of the three main characters in the film, and the challenging roles they were required to perform, their casting could make or break this film. Happily, they are all outstanding! Shannon is superb as the slimy, lecherous Fowley but it is the girls who are most impressive. Kristen Stewart is of course the girl of the moment, what with the huge success of the Twilight films, but she’s been acting a lot longer than that. She really looks the part as born rebel, Jett, and her dedication and determination to see her dream reach fruition is clear to see. Even more impressive is Dakota Fanning as Cherie Currie, the author of the book on which the film is based. I don’t know about anyone else, but the last time I saw her, she was a young girl of 11 in War of the Worlds. It was a good bet she’d soon turn into an attractive young lady, but the transition seemed sudden. Here she is strutting her stuff in lingerie, singing sexually provocative songs (and yes, it is her singing), and even sharing a girl-on-girl kiss. Her immense talent as an actress has been evident since she was half the 16 years she was when this was filmed, but it’s still strange that it even is her we’re watching. She should go a long way.

The Runaways Moive Review

The birth, rise, and inevitable fall of The Runaways is well known to some and unknown to many, but regardless of your knowledge of the 70’s music scene, it’s a interesting story from a fascinating time. Sure, stories like this have been done to death but this is definitely one of the better band biopics around. The quaility of the acting alone is worth the price of admission here, but director and screenwriter, Sigismondi, has skillfully recreated a slice of the 70’s here with a fantastic atmosphere (helped by the soundtrack, of course). Yes it feels a bit rushed, and if you have no interest in music from the era, the acting along may not hold your attention by itself, but the majority of viewers should enjoy this one a lot.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uHpEJ749TRM

RKS Score: 7/10

Motivational Monday: Age Appropriate

age-appropriate motivational poster

Some of you don’t have to work today, from all of us who do, die in a fire.

Ass Belly - Motivational PosterAsshole - Motivational Posterbear-in-the-woods-age-appropriate - Motivational PosterBomb Squad Prank - Motivational PosterCuriosity - Motivational Posterdistraction - Motivational PosterDivide by Zero - Motivational PosterEndings - Motivational PosterFlying Dogs - Motivational PosterGang Signs - Motivational PosterGirl Scouts - Motivational PosterHappy Cat - Motivational PosterHorse gas man - Motivational PosterLockpicking - Motivational PosterLunchbreak - Motivational PosterOverreaction - Motivational PosterPowerleveling - Motivational PosterTequila - Motivational PosterThe Shadow Squad - Motivational PosterVagina Sizes - Motivational Poster

The Interview: Jace Hall

The-Jace-Hall-Show

Jace Hall does it all, be it his video game work with Monolith Productions, his executive producing of the V television series remake or running his own reality tv show titled, the Jace Hall show. I have been working a long time to ask him a few questions since his gamer profile was listed on our site.

Now as you can see by this list Jace is a busy man so we limited our question to his reality series, The Jace Hall Show. For those that do not know, The Jace Hall show features Jace meeting and having misadventures with various people in Hollywood and the gaming industry.

Check out one of my favorite segments:

[youtube width=”600″ height=”480″]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0zWEcpLoHU[/youtube]

On with the interview:

Obsolete Gamer: The concept for the Jace Hall show came from the intertwining of Hollywood and the video game culture, but could you tell us a bit more about the reason you decided to do this show?

Jace Hall: I spent 15 years creating and developing video games. I grew up playing video games. I still play video games to this day. Since I truly am from the “video game culture” it has always bothered me that the “mainstream” media culture tends to depict the video game industry in somewhat superficial and negative ways.

The truth is that people who either play or make games are just like everyone else! There is a wide range of people who are gamers, and most of them don’t look like the way Hollywood depicts them.

So I thought, here I am leaving the active game development industry to attempt to make movies and television shows in traditional Hollywood, while at the same time continuing to play games and hang out with my game industry friends… I was experiencing a unique culture clash between two industries and I thought it might be interesting to capture some of the moments with a video camera. And so The Jace Hall Show was born!

To me, the culture of video games is all about lifestyle and attitude. Its not about any one particular game. It’s more about the shared experience of gaming and people bonding and communicating through that common experience.

For instance, the desire to throw a video game controller is a common experience for any game player. We all know this, and this tiny little fact becomes part of the greater tapestry of gamer culture. It is literally thousands of these kinds of unique understandings that combine to support the lifestyle and attitude that I call “GamerLife.”

Traditional Hollywood does not have the same reference points. Hollywood culture is fundamentally different, and a lot of it can sometime be rooted in fear and image control. This results in a cult of personality type of lifestyle and attitude.

It’s been fascinating and a great learning experience to be able to watch these two different cultures interact, and The Jace Hall Show attempts to show a tiny window into this new frontier.

The Jace Hall Show

Obsolete Gamer: What is the process for finding people to interview both celebrities and people in the industry?

Jace Hall: It just a natural process of what is happening around me and my company. The Jace Hall Show follows the interests of Jace Hall! So if somebody somewhere is doing something that me or my team thinks is cool, we will see if we can go check it out and possibly interview whomever that is.

Our show is not journalism. It is not unbiased. It’s whatever we happen to want it to be at the time, and is fairly free form. The consistency that you see in the show is nothing more than a reflection of the fact that every episode is made by the same people. We are just glad that the audience seems to like what we do.

Obsolete Gamer: What was your favorite interview?

Jace Hall: The Dolph lundgren / Carl Weathers interview was awesome because here are two guys sitting next to me who directly influenced my childhood, but generally speaking I don’t have a favorite. I like them all and I’m really appreciative of anyone who is nice enough to take the time to come be on the show in the first place.!

Obsolete Gamer: Name someone you haven’t interviewed yet, but would really want to for your show?

Jace Hall: Arnold Schwarzenegger, because, I mean come on, his last name is built into the Microsoft Word Spell Checker for goodness sakes! I’d also include Sylvester Stallone, because he is very underrated considering his accomplishments and I’d want to highlight just how amazing his work is (and then whip his ass in MORTAL KOMBAT.)

Obsolete Gamer: If you could do a Jace Hall show with anyone whom would it be with?

Jace Hall: It would be me, Vin Diesel, Dwanye Johnson (The Rock), and Ludacris – and we would all be driving fast cars and be tough and stuff… Oh wait, I was thinking of the upcoming movie FAST FIVE. My Bad.

 

Marvel Video: Little Thor

Little-Thor

Remember the Star Wars Volkswagon commercial where the little kid is dressed as Darth Vader and tries to command his dog? Well, it appears Marvel loved that and decided to whip up a little video using a little Thor.

httpvh://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EPNjWWQqWCA

There are also a ton of Marvel related Easter Eggs within the video, can you find them all?

 

Windows 386: The Spy that Blue-screened on Me

Windows 386 promo video

The Spy that Blue-screened on Me

In 1988, Microsoft sent out a video tape to retailers that was to explain the benefits of Windows 386 so that they could purchase them to sell to their customers. The original video is over 12 minutes long, but this video has been shorted to where it gets “good”.

Personally, I love the part where they pretty much say they stole some of the interface from Lotus.

 

MS DOS 5 Upgrade Song

MS Dos upgrade rap

I really want this video to speak for itself, but in a nutshell this is an promotional video that was sent to retailers to get them to purchase the MS Dos 5 upgrade to sell to their customers. This was done using a rap video, a horrible, horrible, rap video.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WxC6PytZMqc

 

Alex Gaudino: Destination Unknown

Alex-Gaudino-ft-Crystal-Waters-–-Destination-Calabria

Destination Unknown or “Destination Calabria” is a track  produced by Alex Gaudino featuring a mash-up taking the instrumental from Rune’s “Calabria” and the vocals from Alex Gaudino’s and Crystal Waters. This track was the first single released from his debut album titled, My Destination.

The music video features female dances in provocative (sexual) poses wearing green marching band costumes and playing instruments.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yg0yzURme_M[/youtube]

 

The Obsolete Gamer Show: Girls, girls, girls

Gamer Relationships

What happens when you have a bunch of gamers talk about girls, well you have this week’s Obsolete Gamer Show. Ignacio, Tom and J.A dive into the lovely subject of getting, retaining and dealing with girls as a gamer. I am sure once again, we offended a ton of people, especially Tom, but it is a good look into the mind of some games and their views on relationships.

The Obsolete Gamer Show: Girls, girls, girls

Or have a listen on our official OGS page and let us know what you think.

Or download our podcast from Itunes

Indie Game Reviews: x3

Mr Smoozles Goes Nutso
Mr Smoozles Goes Nutso

Mr Smoozles is an anthropomorphic cat. Nothing to shout about, I know, except he’s an anthropomorphic cat starring in his very own web cartoon and a creation of Broken Sword and Beneath a Steel Sky writer/artist Steve Ince, meaning he’s a pretty smart cat indeed. Mr Smoozles goes Nutso, on the other hand, is quite obviously the game of said smart cat, which also happens to be a rather brilliant, humorous and particularly cartoony arcade adventure by -again- Steve Ince, sporting a preposterous plot about alien invaders, parallel realities, more anthropomorphic cats and mind control.

The game plays like a simplified adventure with some light arcade elements and mostly demands that the player solves simple puzzles, embarks on a few fetch-quests, avoids the rampaging Mr Smoozles and a few other enemies, explores the impressively detailed game world and generally stays alive. Nothing too demanding really, but excellent -if a tiny bit repetitive- fun dressed up with some lovely graphics and a suitably retro soundtrack. Oh, and do expect some brilliant and at times elaborate easter eggs, as well as more than a few references and nods to Revolution games.

You can (should, really) buy a copy and/or download the demo over here.

Galcon Fusion

Galcon Fusion

Deep yet incredibly simple strategy games have been a firm favourite of mine ever since I spent eight hours waiting for a ship and playing Advance Wars. Happily Galcon Fusion doesn’t have to be played under dire circumstances to be enjoyed and is probably one of the best games of this sort the PC has to offer. It really is simple to learn, incredibly addictive and an absolute bastard to master. All the player has to do, you see, is click on a planet and then click on another planet, and a fleet will leave the first and attack or strengthen the second. That’s the basic gameplay mechanic and it only gets marginally more complex, as you learn that fleets can also be clicked on and that the mouse-wheel is a most lethal space war weapon.

Getting to grips with the whole thing and taking on multiple opponents in a variety of scenarios is -initially- a simple and extremely enjoyable experience. Try going for the game’s challenging bits and online multiplayer masters though, and you’ll discover the huge difference between simply enjoying and actually mastering Galcon Fusion. Can’t find fault with it really, though truth be said it’s not a game for everyone. Smart retro-visuals are quite nice too, though what should really impress retro lovers is the text-only mode of the thing.

Find out more, look at the iPhone version and give it a try here.

Grid Runner Revolution

Grid Runner Revolution
When Grid Runner first appeared on the VIC-20 it was nothing more than a great but a simple and quite unassuming little budget game. Now, over 20 years later, Jeff Minter, the game’s original creator, has evolved it into the absolute shmup extravaganza, complete with tons of levels, fluffy sheepies, amazing pyrotechnics, eye-melting visuals, an ear-melting soundtrack, many extras and that quirky Llamasoft humour. Oh, and some finely tuned shmup gameplay with some brilliant touches, that even manages to subtly innovate. Losing a life, for a example, can be mitigated by picking up a nice sheep, whereas each life is represented by a different ship (not sheep, mind) with unique features.

 

What’s more, the (almost) original VIC-20 and C64 versions of the game have also been included, as well as an excellent Thrust-like game mode, online leaderbards and a wealth of other features, that make it an essential purchase. Yes, even people that don’t really like shoot-’em-ups will enjoy this one. It really is excellent, and the free demo will easily convinve you.

To get a copy of Grid Runner Revolution (and of course the equally brilliant Space Giraffe) and all of Llamasoft‘s now freely available classic games just follow this woolly link.

ZX Spectrum book: 1982 to 199x

 

ZX Spectrum Book

When I first heard about the ZX Spectrum book – 1982 to 199x by Hiive books I was decidedly thrilled. I also decided to grab a copy and miserably failed. This apparently brilliant book, you see, swiftly sold out and was soon replaced by a luxuriant hardback edition, that was way to expensive for me. Thankfully, Hiive, being the busy indie little publishing house it is, went on and published the The Commodore 64 Book – 1982 to 199x, which I immediately grabbed. And it was brilliant. Both in content and in layout.

This of course made things worse in a weird way that had everything to do with me not being able to read the Speccy book. I even emailed Hiive books and asked them to make a digital copy of the thing available for purchase. Being the nice fellows they are, they said they’d look into it.

Obviously, they didn’t, as they went on and released the whole book for free. Yes! Exactly as I tweeted (?) almost a month ago (did feel the subject needed a proper post of its own though), the ZX Spectrum Book – 1982 to 199x can now be downloaded for free over at the World of Spectrum in its complete 258 pages glory. And, yes, it’s as good as I imagined. Even better really, what with the introduction by Sir Clive himself, the excellent quality of the game presentations and the tons of info. Here are a couple pages to wet your appetite:

 


Never say no to Panda

Never Say No To Panda Cheese

There are tons of awesome commercials out there, but sometimes it is good to go beyond our shores to find awesome commercials for various products. These series of commercials were first profiled on Humor District and features five commercials for a product of Egypt called Panda Cheese.

In these commercials, the main theme is people choosing not to use Panda cheese for one reason or another and then having the Panda get pissed at them pretty much bullying them into buying the cheese. Talk about hardcore marketing, this guy is like the mafia.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v6iHCFiSqIw

Cosplay Profiles: Shadow

 

Obsolete Gamer is proud to have its first personal profile of a cosplay. Our first profile is of Jennifer a.k.a. Shadow who is a 26-year-old cosplay from Italy. She is a huge fan of video games and sent us images of one of her favorite cosplay outfits, Bayonetta.

If you are a cosplayer and would like to be features, drop us a line.

 

 

Vantage Point

Vantage Point - Movie Screenshot
Vantage Point (2008)

Director:Pete Travis Starring: Dennis Quaid, Matthew Fox, Forest Whitaker, Eduardo Noriega, Bruce McGill, Sigourney Weaver, Edgar Ramiez, Said Taghmaoui, Richard T. Jones, Zoe Saldana, William Hurt

Certificate: 12 Running Time:90 Minutes

Tagline: “8 Strangers. 8 Points of View. 1 Truth”

He gets a lot of stick but it’s a tough job being the US President. Everyone wants to shoot the guy for one thing, if good old Hollywood is to be believed at least! This particular President, Henry Ashton (Hurt) is in Salamanca, Spain, about to address a large crowd regarding the anti-terrorism treaty he’s about to sign. Soon after he begins, someone, from somewhere, shoots him. In the midst of the ensuing panic, there are two explosions. Before and during these events, we are casually introduced to several people in and around the crowd who may have an interesting perspective on the unfolding chaotic situation. Some may have something to hide, some others may be able to help catch those responsible. It’s up to Secret Service Agent, Thomas Barnes (Quaid), to work out which.

Vantage Point - Movie Screenshot

The events leading up to and immediately after the gunshot and explosions are then replayed through the eyes of each of these people. First is TV news producer, Rex (Weaver), who is in her production room watching various cameras filming the events, trying to make sure she has all angles covered. Then, events rewind and we see them through Barnes himself as well as his Secret Service colleague, Kent Taylor (Fox) as they are rocked by the explosions and bedlam breaks loose. Next we see events unfold through Spanish cop, Enrique (Noriega), American tourist, Howard (Whitaker), and several others including the perpetrators themselves, before the timeline finally continues and Agent Barnes races to uncover the terrorists deeper plot and untangle the mess before anyone else gets hurt whilst those involved race to prevent him!

Vantage Point - Movie Screenshot

It’s a concept that’s been done before, but perhaps not in such a high profile film. Whether it works well or not is debatable. Both I and apparently a test audience soon grew tired of the film rewinding to the start despite the fresh perspective offered by each character. However, the story is intriguing enough after to hold your attention and the initial frustrations soon die down as you enjoy the mounting tension as more and more information is revealed. The relatively inexperienced Travis directs the numerous action scenes well, including some fantastic chase scenes of both the foot and vehicular variety, and there is some nice camera work, particularly the multiple views of some parts of the rewinding sequence.

Vantage Point - Movie Screenshot

The cast assembled here is by and large a highly talented one but it is also pretty large. Some seasoned actors therefore don’t get the screentime their talent deserves, notably Signourney Weaver, but of the ensemble, Quaid probably gets the most. He remains as watchable as ever as Thomas Barnes, the nervous Secret Service agent on his first Presidential assignment since taking a bullet protecting the President six months earlier. Forest Whitaker too, is enjoyable to watch, but the role doesn’t really ask too much of him. I guess the same could be said of many other cast members, but as action-thrillers go, you could do a lot worse than this. Some people will probably hate the same few minutes being replayed over and over, instead impatiently wanting the story to continue, but when it does, you view the proceeding with fresh insight over all those concerned. It doesn’t set new standards for any of the sub-genres it covers, and it could’ve possibly been a bit longer, but as a standard terrorism/assassination/kidnap/chase thriller, it’s and interesting and exciting 90 minutes.

httpvh://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ObslcA3FhwU

RKS Score: 7/10

Final Fantasy II

Final Fantasy 2 - snes - Gameplay Screenshot
Final Fantasy II for the SNES is the reason why I started playing RPGs altogether. The storyline shocked me at times and gave me joy at others but I can say this is one of the best games for the 16-bit console. The game is your average turn based role playing game which were really huge back then and are still quite popular nowadays. Final Fantasy II is unique in a couple of things such as the ability to have up to five members in your party and the active battle system it withholds. When I say five characters is unique is because it really was unique since very few games would let you have five members in your party at any point. Most role playing games would let you have up to three or four. It was quite something to have five and I think it all helped demonstrate the power of the SNES in its early run.

Final Fantasy 2 - snes - Gameplay Screenshot

The active battle system is what it stands for. The monsters won’t wait for your turn to attack, they’ll just keep attacking whether you attacked or not so be sure to make your decision on an attack as soon as you can. It’s very vital for your survival to be able to attack quickly and successfully as fast as you can. So moving on, this game’s story line is also something to enjoy. There is betrayal, change, and love all put into one cartridge. What’s not to love? It’s one of the best RPGs for the SNES period! The game is packed with a lot of peculiar characters and the usual Final Fantasy touch although I have to admit the Final Fantasy touch died years ago especially if you have played the latest Final Fantasy. What a sad reality we are having nowadays, that’s one of the reasons I stick with retro gaming and there are more to talk in that matter but I’ll leave it for another time.

Final Fantasy 2 - snes - Gameplay Screenshot

 

The game starts you off on a mission with Cecil, the dark knight and Kain, the dragoon. These two friends will soon find out they were tricked by the king on destroying a peaceful town and then separated against their own will. Don’t worry though, they’ll eventually meet up again but I don’t want to give away any more spoilers, that would be just awful. Nevertheless, the game is packed with a long enchanting adventure and a wonderful music score. You know it’s a good score especially when you keep playing the tunes on your head hours after putting down the control pad. The difficulty of the game is moderate as there are parts of the game that you’ll need to level up in mega-old school style. It’s quite fun to this day as you learn new spells and increase your attack against monsters that used to beat you easily. The tables will eventually turn.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CH1oWbo7GZw[/youtube]

To conclude, this game is something to be a part of and it would be a sin not to play it. Give it a try, it’s quite good. If you aren’t into all the retro look then I suggest you pick up the remake for the Nintendo DS as it’s in full 3D but if you ask me, I prefer the original look. eBay is a good place to pick up the game although it’ll be quite pricey. You can also go for the cheaper alternative and get the GBA port of Final Fantasy 2 which they renamed it to the original number Final Fantasy 4. You have many different alternatives to this game so I suggest you pick them up and enjoy the awesomeness Square used to offer.

The MMO Separation of Church and State

It’s been awhile, loyal readers. Yes, I know I’ve been away from awhile and even though some may not care, I am here. I will allow you a moment to shuffle towards your nearest box of tissues to clean up the mess your mayonnaise blaster just shot off.

Ready now? Good.

With that embarrassing mishap behind us, let me indulge with you a story of days past. Yes, the story will again involve MMORPGs as the major focus point but do not worry; I will stray from this tired path in the future.

Years ago, back in 2006 when some of our readers were still teething and dropping goat pebbles in their diapers, there was an archaic game known as World of Warcraft. I’m not sure if many of you have heard of it. The game is incredibly underground with a miniscule population.

In those golden days, PvP wasn’t about fighting another player for hours. It wasn’t about outlasting foes. It was like how PvP was in almost every other game in existence, including FPS. Fights were quick and fast paced. It wasn’t about every player being Batman and trying to pull off as much bullshit as possible. It was about an Enhancement Shaman with Windfury WTF raping their way to victory. It was about the Mage hiding in the back charging up a Pyroblast combo. It was about a rogue hiding and doing what rogues do best, assassinate.

For some reason or another, they decided that fights shouldn’t be so quick and involve such a maelstrom of destruction. Thus, resilence was born; a stat aside from PvE defenses where player damage could be mitigated. What were the reasons for this? Was it the ocean of tears from people that were getting taken out by one person? Could it have been the advantages a raid gear character had against hardcore PvPers? Was it so that Arenas weren’t filled with full DPS team ready to leave craters in the wake of their wrath?

All of those reasons are sound and legit. The one that I felt holds the most truth is the fact that raid geared PvE’ers were capable of casually going to PvP and whirlwinding their way to victory. It is for this reason alone that I believe there was a separation between PvE and PvP.

What is the purpose of this division? Why is that PvP’ers and PvE’ers must separate from one another? Why couldn’t there be one stat system that to keep things united?

I understand that PvE’ers are able to acquire gear through a lot of coordination and time and I also understand that PvP matches tend be much shorter than a raid encounter. It wouldn’t be just in rewarding them with equal gear as that would anger the carebear community.

Resilence only seemed to make sense for Arenas since you generally wanted to last longer in that kind of scenario and it is because of that where I believe Arena gear is the only stat difference that should be available. Mass PvP shouldn’t have this kind of separation.

Raiders can still raid to get their gear but there could’ve been a more inventive way to reward PvP players. Battlegrounds could have been divided by tiers of difficulty and/or objectives rather than how they are now. The first tier battleground could be the PvP mirror of a heroic where during the battle, mediocre gear drops off of fallen enemy players and whenever a tower was taken down or whichever of the multiple objectives in that match is achieved, a loot roll comes up for players with random loot and of course whenever each objective is completed they are rewarded tokens to use as currency to purchase gear as well. Essentially, it the same mechanic as a heroic instead it is applied to a PvP scenario.

The next tier could have a much more difficult objective to complete which would take a bit more coordination on the player’s part and so on. This style of loot progression would allow both PvE and PvP gear to be interchangeable. How come dungeons with new mechanics and situations are constantly added but battlegrounds have remained the same?

What’s sad about this situation is that since World of Warcraft is the staple of a success in the MMO genre, every game is coinciding with this stat system in their games even when it doesn’t make sense. Resilence always appeared to be an arena stat but was quickly pushed into every PvP scenario. Now games like DCUO have toughness instead of defense and Rift has whatever the hell they use. I think it’s toughness versus defense as well but I don’t give a shit. Games where these mechanics are applied don’t even make sense yet they seem to be adopting the format regardless. It causes the PvP experience to force someone in the PvE realm to start from the beginning again and vice versa.

Don’t these companies think player’s have already enough of this whole “starting over” situation every time a new expansion comes out and they have to grind new factions and gear? This shit isn’t needed. Stop pitting people into these situations and allow PvP and PvE to be interchangeable and not some form of morbid segregation.

That’s end of that rant but…

A quick note to other MMORPG companies out there,

Stop copying World of Warcraft and start being creative. This genre is becoming like the FPS genre where 90% of the games out there want to be Call of Duty and all we get are the same fucking things over and over again. Stop sticking to this format and start getting a creative team together. One day, Blizzard is going to become like Apple and sue you for copying their shit over and over again.

And before one of you asshole readers say, “WoW isn’t original. It copied EQ, and EQ copied UO, and UO copied Meridian, and Meridian copied—“ Just shut the fuck up. I don’t give a fuck who copied who. Each of those games was vastly different from one another and even the mechanics that were taken from either of those games have evolved from each generation and iteration. Fuck!

Zombies 2

 zombies2

Zombies!!! 2 is, as should have already been noticed by any bearded board games’ scholar, closely related to the excellent board game Zombies!!! An expansion actually, or to elaborate a bit, a great, tidy, compact and beautifully produced expansion. Assuming those interested in Zombies!!! 2 are already Zombies!!! players (well, they really should be, as the original game is quite required to enjoy the Z!!!2 affair), I’ll get right to the new stuff. Ruleswise you get a slightly tweaked core ruleset, that helps speed the game up and clean up slight problems, a nice FAQ and quite a few brand new rules. Without wanting to spoil the overall fun-of-the-fan I’ll just mention two of them: 1) you get to ride vehicles, 2) tougher (government enhanced) zombies are introduced. Add to the improved rules:

– 15 new map-tiles that will let you fight the undead in a military base
– 30 new event cards (actually 2*15 new ones)
– 6 goofy looking but definitely nice glow-in-the-dark (super) zombies
– some blank replacement cards & tiles
– and (at last) quite a few (around 50) red heart tokens

and you’ll understand why this expansion too, is a no brainer!

That’s an (eight and a half) out of (ten).

Sweety Puzzle

Sweety Puzzle - Gameplay Screenshot
Non-gamers are Nintendo’s Wii little target, non-gamers were the people the PlayStation turned to gamers all those years ago and non-gamers are the market casual games are aiming for. But what are casual games (ask the masses in their booming and state-shattering voices)? Well, according to Wikipedia they are “a category of electronic or computer games targeted at the mass audience, which are peculiar for their simple rules, engaging game design, require no time commitment or special skills from an end user as well as comparatively low production and distribution costs from producer“.

 

Sweety Puzzle - Gameplay Screenshot

A wise and brief description, that so just happens to perfectly fit the subject of this quite modest review: Sweety Puzzle. A quirky, simple and extremely addictive indy-game that comes from Thailand. Yes, Thailand-Asia. A beautiful country you really should be visiting. But, as usual, I digress. Ahhh, yes, Sweety Puzzle. Haven’t played a game like this for years: elegant, fun, retro looking and with fine music playing in the background.

Sweety Puzzle - Gameplay Screenshot

The game feels like the mutant offspring of Go, Tetris and Columns. You place colored candies on a pink grid, rotate them, and apparently try to make them go pop! before you run out of time or space. It is actually one of those things that are better experienced, not described. So, just visit Sweety Puzzle’s homepage for a hefty demo; then come back here. I have not finished yet.

 

Sweety Puzzle has an excellent learning curve and a few very tiny glitches, mostly centered around its not-so-well Thai to English translation. It costs less than 7$ or 6 euros. Ok. Now, I’ve finished.

That’s an (eight) out of (ten).

For a downloadable or Java demo (or a purchase) of Sweety Puzzle click here. For an Independent Gaming Sweety Puzzle review, here.

Tales of a Driver: I’m not the only one who delivers

cougars_milf_gilf_demotivational_poster

This story follows up the story, Half the Pizza Double the tip.

I really didn’t want to take sides but they lady did tip better then Jim did so if there is only one person left in that apartment then I guess I rather it be her.

When I got off the elevator I could hear what sounded like a party going on, I walk to the door and rang the doorbell. It was the wife but not just her there were about eight other women in the apartment dressed up in skimpy clothing not quite Victoria secret but close enough.

“I am glad they sent you young man, as you can see my dead beat husband is gone” She invited me in. “You will need to wait a bit because I didn’t order the pizza my friend did she should be in shortly”

The other women were talking and dancing in the living room while I sat in the dining area. The woman came over and sat near me.

“I know this must seam weird to you but girls need to have fun sometimes.”

“I don’t understand Mrs.” She cut me off. “Call me Susan. That pig of a husband just can’t leave me be, do you know he lives on this very floor two door down?”

I tried to say something but was cut off again.

“You know he picked our marriage consoler and that son of a bitch tried to touch me during a private session, I sued his ass and he settled out of court and this is my victory party”

I could tell she was drunk and the dancing desperate housewives were no better. Then the doorbell rang.

“Ah the entertainment is here” Susan opened the door and I almost died.

It was that mid-forties woman with the sex club and she brought friends, all female friends. “Maggie” Susan called out. “Great timing and our delivery boy Is here to.”

She set this up so I would deliver? How? Why? Maggie walked over to me. “So we meet again are you 21 yet?” “No” I answered “I’m 18” she smiled, good enough.

Maggie’s friends went over to the other women in the living room it didn’t take long until they were getting into it. Come with me young man I have my purse in the room” Maggie called to me.

I walked into what I guess was a spare bedroom; Maggie took a hundred dollar bill out of her bag. “Have you ever seen this before” I smiled “Sure lady all the…” she then opened her robe to reveal herself.

“I’ve seen that to…” I can believe I said that. Maggie smiled. “You do remember me. It has been a while and I remember you.” She sat on the bed. “Young men, so inexperienced, I could teach you so much”

She leaned over towards me a put her hand on my leg. “I will give you this hundred if you let me teach you something” She then reached for my belt buckle.

There were three loud bangs on the door. I jumped up like I stole something and opened the bedroom door. All I saw were women and toys and clothes everywhere.

Susan ran to the door and opened it. It was Jim. “What the hell do you want” screamed Susan. “Your party is too loud and I saw that delivery boy here, you little party is over the cops are on their way up”

All the women in a panic began grabbing their clothes and running for cover. Maggie yelled out. “So you’re the bastard Susan told me about” Jim puzzled yelled “Who the fuck are you”? “I” Maggie announced “Am bringing pleasure to your wife something you could never do” Jim looked at me standing in the door way.

“It looks as if you’re trying to pleasure this young boy” Just then the words cops hit my mind again. “Uh I need to get back to the store” Maggie handed me the hundred and said “You own me and I will collect”

I ran out of the apartment and down the stairway, luckily missing the police, but now I was in it. The pizzas only came out to about thirty bucks and now I had this hundred and owed a sex-crazed lady.

I was excited and scared at the same time I had an awesome tip but how long would it be before Maggie called in to collect.

 

MegaMan X to the Virtual Console

Megaman x gameplay screenshot

Power up that Mega Buster, the classic 1993 Super Nintendo game, MegaMan X is coming to the Wii via the Virtual Console for 800 points.

Hundreds of years after his death, Dr. Light’s final creation is discovered. Released from his capsule by Dr. Cain, “X” is born into the world of the future where robot rebellions are a thing of the past. But when Dr. Cain tries to implement Dr. Light’s designs into a new series of Reploids, something goes horribly wrong. Now, the future lies on the brink of destruction and X must use all of his newfound powers and abilities to hunt down the maverick Reploids and their leader, Sigma, before the human race is wiped from the planet!

Megaman x gameplay screenshot

The game is available now.

 

New Ultimate Spider-Man

Ultimate Spider-Man

It has been confirmed by Marvel that a new character will be taking up the mantel of Spider-Man. With the conclusion of the storyline titled, Death of Spider-Man, Peter Parker will no longer be able to carry on and someone new will be stepping up and in a brand new costume to boot.

“We called this story Death of Spider Man for a reason,” said Axel Alonso, Marvel Editor In Chief. “This is a huge story that’ll have fans around the world talking for a long time as we set the stage for the debut of our new Spider Man.”

Now this only affects the Ultimate universe comics, but still many fans are not too happy with this or the idea of using deaths to sell comics. What’s your take, and what do you think of the new costume?

 

Deviants

Deviants Gameplay Screenshot

Deviants (1987)
By: Players Software Genre: Platform Players: 1 Difficulty: Medium
Featured Version: ZX Spectrum First Day Score: 57,360
Also Available For: Nothing

After recently playing Impossible Mission as part of my ‘Exploring the Commodore 64’ piece, I found myself remembering this little-known Spectrum budget title. Although it was a proper budget release, I originally received on a cover-tape provided by the ever-kind chaps at Sinclair User, which was nice as I probably wouldn’t have discovered it otherwise! So what has it got in common with the much more famous Impossible Mission? Well, besides both being flick-screen platform games, they both feature puzzles that I can’t work out how to solve! In the case of Deviants, the prologue explains that the titular race have been confirmed as the source of an attack on a colony world, ‘Krause’. A squad of ‘Star Warriors’ were sent to the asteroid from which the attacks originated to plant thirty bombs. However, their mission was only a partial success – they planted the bombs, but were killed before they could arm them. So, it’s your job to make your way through the asteroid complex and arm the bombs.

Deviants Gameplay Screenshot

In order to accomplish your mission, you must locate and arm each bomb whilst avoiding or shooting the green, zombie- like creatures (presumably the Deviants themselves) wandering around, going about their dastardly business. The rapid- fire assault rifle-type gun you’re equipped with takes them out within a few shots (which sees them crumble to the floor in a pile of dust) but it has a finite supply of ammo, so keep an eye out for the extra ammo icons dotted around here and there. Contact with the Deviants reduces your energy level but luckily there are regeneration booths here and there too, which will top up your reserves. It’s the arming the bombs that I have trouble with, however. When you touch one, the screen switches to display six ‘activator valves’. Some are open, some are not. To arm a bomb you must open all six valves, but rather than make things simple, each switch is connected to one or more valves, so you must try and work out which keys to press to open which valves, and all within thirty seconds!

Deviants Gameplay Screenshot

The key to arming the bombs lies in deciphering the ‘logic puzzle’ of the valves. Unfortunately, I’m not a Vulcan and logic is sometimes an alien concept to me, so herein lies my only problem with the game. Even with having to stumble my way through the bomb sequences, however, this is still a highly enjoyable game. The graphics are really nice with several colours being used to good effect and it’s a big game too, with getting on for 200 screens of platforms to explore. It’s very addictive as well – I remember playing this game a lot on my Speccy, but avoiding the bombs and just exploring and shooting the Deviants, so imagine how much I’d have liked it if I could activate the bombs too! Since rediscovering the game for this review, I have worked out the puzzley bits (kind of) and gotten addicted to it all over again!

Deviants Gameplay Screenshot

Considering it was originally released for a paltry £1.99, I’m surprised Deviants wasn’t better known. I’ve certainly played a lot of full price games that weren’t as enjoyable as this and it hasn’t aged at all. I’ve really enjoyed rediscovering this budget classic. It’s not perfect by any means but it does what it sets out to very well and I recommend any Speccy fans reading this to give it a go.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RU41ulqX1iA

RKS Score: 7/10

Motivational Monday: Battlecry

Battlecry - Motivational Poster

Time for another trip into the world of motivational posters. Happy Monday!

alchohol - Motivational PosterBitch Please - Motivational PosterBungee Jumping - Motivational PosterBush Blocker - Motivational PosterEpic Boobs - Motivational PosterFace Recognition - Motivational PosterFailure - Motivational PosterFutility - Motivational PosterGamers - Motivational PosterGanked - Motivational PosterIntelligence - Motivational PosterMexicans - Motivational Posterparanoia-cat - Motivational PosterPink Cougar Cadillac - Motivational Posterrealvsanime - Motivational Posterstupidity - Motivational Postertoilet-rape-rape - Motivational PosterTrading Places - Motivational Posterwomen-drivers- Motivational Poster

Mario’s complete Gameography: Almost

Mario. Had a friend named Mario. Quite a weird bloke, mind you, but that’s not the point. Besides, this post is neither about my friends, nor Marios in general. It’s all about Nintendo’s Mario, and his appearances (in cameo, supporting or starring roles) on video games of all kinds. Quite a few as you should have guessed, and what follows are the ones I managed to find. The list -I am sure- is not a 100% complete, and even though I feel that almost every important game and most Mario appearances have been covered, there must be some obscure and/or well-known omissions. Please, let me know… Anyway, on to the…

Mario List (TM):

Arcade: Donkey Kong, Donkey Kong Jr., Mario Bros, Vs. Super Mario Bros, Super Mario Bros., Mushroom World Pinball (an actual pinball machine!), Super Mario Bros 2., Super Mario Bros. 3., Super Mario World, Mario Kart Arcade GP.
Super Mario Bros 3 - Arcade Cabinet

Super Mario Bros. 3 cabinet

Atari 2600, 7800: Donkey Kong, Mario Bros.Nintendo Entertainment System, or NES (or even Famicom if you prefer): Donkey Kong, Donkey Kong Classics, Donkey Kong Jr., Donkey Kong Junior Math, Donkey Kong 3, Dr. Mario, Golf, Mario is Missing, Mario’s Time Machine, Mike Tyson’s Punchout, NES Open Tournament Golf, Nintendo World Championships, Return of Mario Bros., Super Mario Bros., Super Mario Bros. 2, Super Mario Bros: The Lost Levels, Super Mario Bros. 3, Tennis, Wario’s Woods, Wrecking Crew, Yoshi, Yoshi’s Cookie.Super Mario Bros- NES

 

Super Mario Bros. (apparently)
Gameboy and Gameboy color: Alleyway, Donkey Kong, Dr. Mario, F1-Race, Qix, Game & Watch Gallery, Game & Watch Gallery 2, Game & Watch Gallery 3, Mario’s Picross, Mario’s Picross 2, Super Mario Bros. Deluxe, Super Mario Land, Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Coins, Tetris Attack, Mario Tennis, Wario Blast featuring Bomberman!, Wario Land: Super Mario Land 3, Wario Land 2, Yoshi, Yoshi’s Cookie, Mario Golf.

 

Super Mario Land - Gameboy
Super Mario Land

 

Super NES (SNES, Super Famicom): Excitebike: Bun Bun Mario Battle Stadium, Mario and Wario, Mario is Missing, Mario’s Time Machine, Mario Paint, Mario’s Super Picross, Mario’s Early Years: Fun with numbers, Mario’s Early Years: Fun with letters, Mario’s Early Years: Pre-School, Nintendo Power Dr. Mario, Picross Nintendo Power, Super Mario All-Stars, Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars, Super Mario Kart, Super Mario World, Super Mario World 2: Yoshi’s Island, Tetris and Dr. Mario, Tetris Attack, Wario’s Woods, Wrecking Crew ’98, Yoshi’s Cookie, Yoshi’s Cookie: Kuruppon Oven De Cookie, Yoshi’s Safari, Zelda 3.

 

Super Mario World - SNES
Super Mario World

Virtual Boy: Mario Clash, Virtual Boy Wario Land, Mario’s Tennis.

Mario Clash - Virtual Boy
Mario Clash

CDi: Hotel Mario, Super Mario’s Wacky Worlds (unreleased).

Hotel Mario

 

Nintendo 64: Dr. Mario 64, Paper Mario, Super Mario 64, Mario Tennis, Mario Golf, Mario Party, Mario Party 2, Mario Party 3, Super Smash Bros., Mario Kart 64, Yoshi’s Story.

 

Super Mario 64 - Mario 64
Super Mario 64

 

PC and Apple: Mario Teaches Typing, Mario Teaches Typing 2, Mario’s Fun with Numbers, Mario’s Fun with Letters, Mario’s Pre-School fun, Mario’s FUNdamental, Mario’s Games Gallery.
mario-teaches-typing

 

Gameboy Advance: (excluding the Classic NES series) Game and Watch Gallery 4, Mario and Luigi: Superstar Saga, Mario Bros., Mario Party Advance, Mario Party e, Mario Tennis Advance, Mario Pinball Land (a.k.a. Super Mario Ball), Mario vs. Donkey Kong, Super Mario Advance, Super Mario Advance 2: Super Mario World, Super Mario Advance 3: Yoshi’s Island, Super Mario Advance 4: Super Mario Bros. 3, Super Mario Advance 6: Mario is Missing, Wario Land 4, WarioWare Inc: Mega Microgames, WarioWare Twisted!, Famicom Mini: Wrecking Crew, Yoshi Topsy Turvy, Mario Kart Super Circuit.

 

Mario vs Donkey Kong
Mario vs. Donkey Kong

 

GameCube: Donkey Kong Jungle Beat, Luigi’s Mansion, Mario Kart: Double Dash!!, Nintendo Puzzle Collection, Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door, Super Mario Sunshine, Mario Superstar Baseball, Mario Golf: Toadstool Tour, Mario Power Tennis, Mario Party 4, Mario Party 5, Mario Party 6, Mario Party 7, Super Smash Bros. Melee, WarioWare Inc.: Mega Party Game$, NBA Street v3, Super Mario Strikers (a.k.a. Mario Smash Football), Dance-Dance Revolution: Mario Mix.

 

Super Mario Sunshine
Super Mario Sunshine

 

Nintendo DS: Mario and Luigi: Partners in Time, Mario Basket: 3 on 3, Mario Kart DS, New Super Mario Bros., Super Mario 64 DS, Super Princess Peach, Tetris DS, WarioWare: Touched!, Yoshi Touch and Go.

 

Super Mario 64 - Nintendo DS
Super Mario 64 DS

 

 

Chat Roulette: Batman meets Obama

Funny Chat Roulete Screenshots

What is chat roulette, it is a video chat program where you randomly chat with people over the internet. CR gained most of its popularity about a year ago, mainly for the thousands of penis exposing shots people would see while using the service. Once chat roulette began banning these people it was decided that dressing up or putting funny things in the background was the way to go. Here are some of the funnier screen caps from chat roulette.

Funny Chat Roulete ScreenshotsFunny Chat Roulete ScreenshotsFunny Chat Roulete ScreenshotsFunny Chat Roulete ScreenshotsFunny Chat Roulete ScreenshotsFunny Chat Roulete ScreenshotsFunny Chat Roulete ScreenshotsFunny Chat Roulete ScreenshotsFunny Chat Roulete ScreenshotsFunny Chat Roulete ScreenshotsFunny Chat Roulete ScreenshotsFunny Chat Roulete ScreenshotsFunny Chat Roulete ScreenshotsFunny Chat Roulete ScreenshotsFunny Chat Roulete ScreenshotsFunny Chat Roulete ScreenshotsFunny Chat Roulete Screenshots