Austin Says: Tips for Everyday Life
Picking Up Attractive Females.
Hello. My name is Austin and these are my tips for everyday life. This tip is about picking up attractive females. This guide is intended to be used by males seeking females but might be helpful to those females seeking to find someone who will listen to them complain all day long and go down of them orally.
The first step and, depending on where you live, the hardest is to find an attractive female. The easiest way to do this is carry a gun with you at all times. If you spot an unattractive female remove the gun from its holster, turn off the safety and shoot her. This helps as it stops the unattractive from breeding and also insures you will not have to see the same unattractive person more than once.
The next step is to find out if said attractive girl is married, engaged or taken in another manner. The biggest and easiest hint to spot is the wedding ring. If you see a ring on her left hand ring finger that means this is a no fly zone for your little Cessna. If a ring isn’t donned by the attractive female then it’s time to do what you are probably already good at: wait.
Sit in the corner staring at her heavily. Don’t avoid eye contact in anyway. Stare at her like you are a seven hundred pound man and she is the last Milky Way on the face of the planet. It’s important that at this point she feels very uncomfortable. While it will make your job harder in the future it makes this step much easier. If after twenty minutes or so she does not call a large man over to her for protection then it’s time to move on to the next step.
This step is the easiest one I think. All you have to do is contact her verbally. It’s often a good time to tease her as to lower her self-esteem. Such lines as “I didn’t mean to stare but the mole on your check is so huge” or “Sorry but I was lost in your eyes, what color would you say those are? Road kill brown?” work well here. Once you have gotten in with her or her group of friends it’s time to ignore her. If she is with a group of friends talk to the ugliest one the most. If she is alone then you should talk about yourself as much as you can. This is done to make her feel like you don’t need her and if all goes well she will feel like you are challenging her. It’s a game of hard to get.
Once she has felt defeated it’s time to move it to the next level. Tell her something along the lines of “I was going to sleep with your friend but I guess you will do.” This will make her feel like your hot sweaty magic between the sheets is a treat for her that you control. If this act doesn’t secure a one night stand with Miss ‘I don’t usually do stuff like this’ then you have done something wrong.