Austin Says: Tips for Everyday Life
Making an Online Video Journal.
Hello. My name is Austin and these are my tips for everyday life. These tips are about expressing yourself via the internet in one of the newest trends: video diaries. With the invention of sites like YouTube and Ziddio it’s never been easier to get your face and voice out to the rest of the world.
Some reasons you might have a online video diary include but are not limited to: You are an ass, you think you are funny, you are funny, you think you are cute, you are cute, you think someone might care, people care about you, you think you’re voice should be heard, you are hideous, you don’t know how to type or you don’t understand how LiveJournal or Xanga work.
The first step is to decide if your video is dumb and clichéd. If it is then it is safe to say YouTube will welcome you with open arms. If you feel that your video is smart and original then you are probably full of yourself and should post it to YouTube anyway. If you and, let’s say, about twelve other people agree that your video is too good for YouTube then you should post it on Ziddio.
Now that you know how the video is viewed by others it’s time to actually make it. It’s also time to not question me. Go and find a camera of some sort. This can be any camera that links to your computer is some way. It’s best if you use cameras that are not built to be webcams as webcams are the sausages of the camera world. Place the camera where you can be seen from only the breast up. Women, it is best to make video diary entries naked. It helps. I promise.
Now it’s time for just the guys. Guys it’s important that you dress nicely for your journal. If you look like the fat slob you are then no one is going to believe you picked up to fine ladies last night using the previous tip. A nice jacket over a button down shirt or a nice plain white polo is often the best choice. It’s also important that we keep it as clean as possible. You clothing is what they are going to see the whole time so keep it nice. And Ladies, keep it nonexistent.
Now you are ready to record! Hit record and record the video. It’s important that you either know what you are going to say when you start the video or that you have some character. If you both can’t write and have no personality it’s time to pull a DaxFlame and disgrace yourself by acting retarded. Lucky for you if you lack the above to things you most likely can act pretty retarded pretty easily!
Once the video is recorded its time to do some editing. Open your favorite editing software and select the audio track. Now lower it to 50 of what it once was. Open I mp3 file and place it on the audio track. Increase the audio files volume by 200%. This will insure they can hear the music perfectly. Now edit random sentences describing the scene onto your video. Example if you are about to talk about your trip to the mall place “MY TRIP TO THE SHOPPING ESTABLISHMENT KNOWN AS THE MALL” in large white font over your video.
Once the editing is done its time to watch it. Can you tell what you are saying? Does anything make sense? If you can answer these both as yes go back to the editing phase otherwise its time to post it online! Congrats on your first video diary.