Why I can’t stand the Wii

Wii Sucks
Wii Sucks

I completely expect to catch flack for this, but I am tired of being silent. I can’t stand the Wii console from Nintendo. I understand it has some good games like the new Mario, but the hype over the system and the fact that it’s not much more than a glorified accessory machine doesn’t help. We all know it has sold. I was not one who bought one, but I have played it. Now here is my reasoning.

The IMAC for a new generation

Remember the Apple iMac? Everyone had one, it was shown on almost every sitcom, but nobody ever used it. The Wii is the new IMAC, everyone got it because it was new and shiny, but in the end it sits unused like your treadmill.

When it was first released everyone talked about how fun it was. Funny thing is every time someone wanted to play it they were intoxicated on something. I guess the reason is nobody could have that much fun swinging wildly into the air unless you are drunk.

Now most of the people I know who have one have it sitting under a pile of accessories unused. We now play Rock Band when drunk.

Old people like it

You ever heard the saying that something is no longer cool once your parents like it? Now I don’t want to get in trouble with the AARP, but did you know there is a Wii bowling league for senior citizens?

Old Woman Wii
Old Woman Wii

Yes, that ultra hip piece of technology is the favorite plaything for the baby boomers. It narrowly beat out checkers and shuffle board. Wii Tennis has beat out not only Wolf Blitzer from CNN for things to watch after 5pm, but even Matlock gets TIVO’ed so grandpa Joe can get in a game of Tiger Woods-free Wii golf.

I have this thing called an Emulator

You know what is the number one response when I insult the Wii? “We’ll you can play old games like Excite Bike” Oh really? Well, it’s not like I ever had a chance to play that since ’85. I guess people never heard of something called M.A.M.E. or ZNES. Perhaps I am not supposed to speak about those to the public, kind of like Fight Club.

Even the so called new games like the sports pack are nothing more than glorified Yahoo games with an add-on so you can chuck hard plastic at your television.

Thanks to Dumpbase.net for the video

Hey Wii, the Game Cube called it, wants its graphics back!

Worst yet it reminds me of the console wars back in the Sega, Nintendo days except this time it’s PS3 and XBOX 360 fighting it out and the Wii getting the scraps. My question is how many Mario games can you look forward too? I love Mario, but damn. Speaking of Mario, is it just me or is it an abomination to see Sonic and Mario together in a game? I liked the back and forth of which was the better franchise. It’s like Coke and Pepsi coming out with a drink together. Well Coke tried that with New Coke and you remember what happened there.


My opinion doesn’t count

Nintendo could care less with the cash it is raking in and in the age of the ipod we know people like overpriced pretty colored devices so the Wii fits in perfectly. Between the Everybody Votes channel and the Mii’s Nintendo has the winning combination for our American Idol’d world. All Nintendo has to do now is add Farmville to the Wii and the final sign of the apocalypse will be upon us.

Happy Gaming!

Refugee, Scots, Darkies, and Danish Women.

Hi, My name is Olderrant and I live in a small village in Yorkshire, England.

I’m tired of all the do-gooders and all this Political Correctness gone mad, and I’m getting angrier as I get older.

I’m in a complete rage with this communist government. Vote them out at the earliest opportunity (before they give your vote to some lesbian Pakistani asylum seeker).

I have a view on lots of matters especially the ones that I read in the Daily Mail but don’t have any effect on me.

Refugee angers judge, and rightly so!British Justice

A judge questioned Government policy yesterday after he heard how an asylum seeker dropped a crisp packet which went on to miss the bin and land on the floor

The judge said Klodjen Mela, 19, from Kosovo, would not have been able to tarnish the image of Britain if he had been in custody “as he ought to have been”.

The judge then jailed Mela for 10 years and recommended that he be deported when his sentence was completed

Hanging is too good for him, I say.

Scottish People smellA majority of voters back the break-up of the United Kingdom

A possible majority of voters in both Scotland and England probably back the break-up of the United Kingdom, according to a poll in Daily Mail

The Sooner the better, I say.

No apology

Prime Minister Tony Blair has said he feels “deep sorrow” for Britain’s role in the slave trade. In an article for the New Nation newspaper, the prime minister said it had been “profoundly shameful”.

But Mr Blair stopped short of issuing a full apology, which some commentators have demanded.

The government is reportedly setting out its plans for next year’s bicentenary of the abolition of the slave trade.

Esther Stanford, of the Pan African Reparation Coalition, said all countries that had ever been involved in slavery should give a full apology.

“An apology is just the start – words mean nothing,” she told BBC News.

She said: “If we do not deal with this now it is tantamount to saying that you can commit crimes against humanity, against African people and get away with it.”

Take a look at Africa now, Ms Stanford, the darkies do more damage to each other than anyone else ever did, infact you should would be better being slaves again.

Bugger off, and make me a cup of Tea, I say.

TartDanish ad makes road safety sexy

Danish road safety officials have come up with a novel way of warning motorists about the dangers of speeding – by using topless blonde women.

They have produced a spoof news report where the blondes carry road signs showing the Danish speed limit: 50km/h.

The video – posted on the web – is aimed at grabbing the attention of young male drivers, but feminists say they hate it.

Well they would, wouldn’t they, they should get off the roads and back in the kitchen, but put some clothes on you might burn yourselves, I say.

Thatcher, Immigrants, Islam, and The Government

Hi, My name is Olderrant and I live in a small village in Yorkshire, England.

I’m tired of all the do-gooders and all this Political Correctness gone mad, and I’m getting angrier as I get older.

I’m in a complete rage with this communist government. Vote them out at the earliest opportunity (before they give your vote to some lesbian Pakistani asylum seeker).

I have a view on lots of matters especially the ones that I read in the Daily Mail but don’t have any effect on me.

The ThatcherThe Greatest still not dead English robot whore of all time.

The Magnificent Margaret Thatcher, the women who single handily returned this country from Communist rule by stealing the milk of Working Class Children, teenagers and the unemployed and then using them as slaves, food and for use as seating for the Middle and Upper Classes.

Margaret Thatcher was recently voted as the ‘Sexiest Lay in Politics’ she also holds the undisputed universal record for the number of dog shits deep-throated in a minute.

Deport everyone but me.

Britain could “go to the dogs” unless immediate action is taken to tackle growing ethnic segregation, the Daily Mail warned today.

Adolf Lynching, the paper’s head of racist reporting, said a “real crisis” was being caused by the increasing separation of ethnic groups and more importantly that middle-class people could actually see coloured people from their homes.

He quoted new research suggesting that a quarter of Britons want to live in an all-white area and that more than half think there is too much immigration.

Get rid of the Darkies and the Irish I say, not to mention the Scotch.

Christian magistrate sues Government over placing children with gay couples

A Christian group is taking legal action against the Government, claiming that he was forced to resign from his role of placing children in care because of his religious belief that homosexuality is evil.

Andrew McLickcock says that he was told he must preside over cases that involved gay parents despite his appeal that it would contravene his deeply held conviction that homosexual people should be stoned to death.

Good Luck to you Andrew, but you are fighting Government approved buggery!

Israel we love you!Bomb them back to the stoneage!!

Evil Palestinian militants have used their evil Islamic mind control tricks to con the peace loving Israel into an unexpected ceasefire.

Hamas’ military wing and Islamic Jihad said they were responsible.

The ceasefire came into effect at 0600 (0400 GMT) after the Palestinian Authority said groups would end attacks and Israel agreed to halt hostilities.

Is there no end to this government’s dishonesty!!!

Blair is evil

Labour is facing the prospect of an inquiry by the public spending watchdog into claims that it is siphoning millions of pounds of taxpayers’ cash to pay for terrorist training.

The Tories have written to a high-powered local government watchdog demanding an investigation following revelations that Tory voters have been forced to hand over hundreds of pounds at knife point by Margaret Beckett.

At least £200 billion-a-year is being creamed off hard working tax dodgers. The money is used to fund asylum seekers, speed cameras, terrorism, abortions and to reincarnate Lenin.

Opponents fear the scheme, which was nodded through at Labour’s annual conference, is also being used to help Osama Bin Laden pay his council tax on his apartment in London’s trendy Notting Hill.

The scandal only came to light when Margaret Beckett ordered the RAF to bomb a small village in Kent, after the residents refused to pay.