Game Reviews

The bored ramblings of a no longer nuerotically pregnant now a nuerotic mother

Well guys I’ve done it, at 3.52am on christmas eve my baby boy was brought into this world. My labour was pretty quick as far as first labours go. My waters brokes between – on the 23rd (we have a time line as I was actually asleep at the time). We went to the hospital to be violated by a really old midwife and returned home to await contractions These started at around but were few and far between until around when they started to be regular. 2 baths and a fone call to my mate later we were on our way to the hospital. Now I had mentioned in a post on the forum that Hartlepool hospital had hed back it’s closure until th 28th Jan however when I called them to say I was on my over the wife declared that the unit was shut due to staff shortages!! I was devastated. I did not want to give birth at North Tees but I had no ruddy choice.

We got to the hospital for around midnight, I was violated again by a midwife, this one was much younger and also a very nice person. I was only 2.5cm dialated. As we had came from hartlepool and I was the only in the delivery unit she said she wouldn’t send us home. Apparently they like you to be at least 3-4cms before they keep you in. The cpntractions were how can I put it, fookin painful!! We tried the gas and air stuff and I was completeley gone. I felt as high as a kite. Now they say that you usually dialated 1cm per hour so effectively I had quiet a way to go. As the gas and air was smacking me out she gave me 2 paracetemol and 2 other tablets that I have never managed to remeber the name of, ushered me to another room with a bath and out me in it. I was in the bath for 1am, by 1.20am my body was telling me to push. Mick called the midwife back. she helped me out of the bath and onto the bed. I have to say I didn’t believe anyone who told me that you loose all inhibitions when in labour, but thats what I did. My arse was in the air when she told me I was ready to go. That was it. I had to puch my baby into the world with no pain relif!! to be honest at the time it truly didn’t occur to me that I’d only taken a few pain killers but I personally found pushing to be a lot less painful than the actual contractions. 2.5hrs later baby boy was still not out. He’s very lazy you see and would not work with his mummy when she had to push. So a doctor was called and a ventouse was used to bring him out. At 3.52am a very blue James was pulled out with the cord wrapped round his neck, he had to be resucistated but was only away from me for 1 minute. 1 minute that was to be the longest minute of my life. I almost cried a thousand cries and filled a thousand seas with tears when I heard him squak for the first time. He was placed straight into my arms for a bit of skin to skin and I swear to the almighty I have never ever felt a love for anyone like I did for my son that moment. The pain I was in did not disappear as so many people have said, it was just simply irrelevant. There I was 25yrs of age absolutley knackered holding the most precious thing on the face of the earth and I felt great. I would have ran a million marathons to have that feeling again and again.

Mick sent the obligatory texts to all in sundry and then we sat and looked at our little boy. At 6.30am I went up to the ward. Mick went home to get the house straightend and for a little slep himself. He too looked bloody knackered and you would have thought that he had done all te work!! I am assuming I was meant to rest for a while but I could not keep my eyes off my little man. Like a child myself I fought the sleep to gaze at the beautifulness that was in the cot next to me.

After being seen by the peadiatrician and the midwfie a few times we were out at 3.30pm. My mate who took us to the hospital was the one to come and collect us. She was also James very first visitor and she even had a wep herself as had a hold bfore bundling him in the car. Our first night home was horrendous. All baby did was squak and Mick and I had no idea what to do for/with him. I tried to feed him (on the breast) numerous times but he was only having little sips and pushing me away, by 5.30am I have to admit to falling asleep in the bed with baby next to me. I know this is not what we are meant to do but hey it worked and a few nights when the boy has needed nothing but mammy’s love he’s been back in the bed again. We have pillows around him to avoid him falling out and to prevent me from rolling on him. This is a habit I’m hoping to kick sooner rather than later, but to be honest I like having in my bed. I like being able to see him when I open my eyes and know that he is still breathing, I don’t get this with the moses basket as I can’t see him right away but the basket is that close to the bed he is almost in it.

Christmas morning was chaotic, it was 11.30 before we were all dressed and started opening gifts, however I really can’t remember Mick and I having any breakfast till well after 12. We even made chritmas dinner which actually turned out to be christmas tea as it was eaten at 6pm.

The boy is 12 days old as I write this and it has been the most amazing eventful 12 days of my life so far. He pulls the funniest of faces – especially when he trumps. The mobile fone cameras have been used many a time to capture such things. One night I had the boy in his basket whilst I was laid in bed watching tv. I was in that half awake half asleep state when a white scratch mitt cam hurtling out of the basket and across the room. To say I almost shat would be an understatement. Yes I can laugh whole heartedly now but at the time I almost couldn’t breath, it took me totally unawares. He also spent 20 minutes one night in the basket laid on his back arse and legs in the air trumping the longest smelliest trump. As I laughed until my tummy quite literally hurt I ook a picture. One to be kept in the alnum for the time he brings his first girlfriend home!!

I could prattle on about him forever and a day but I honestly think you would beneift from more from reading war and peace then reading a proud mums blow by blow account of her childs first few days. I hope you have enjoyed reading about the little man as much as I have enjoyed writing about him. For anyone considering having a child my only advice to is to do it. Yes they keep you awake until the small hours, yes their nappies ruddy stink and yes they are very hard work, but one look at your little bundle erases all that.

Oh one more thing. HAPPY NEW YEAR. xx

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J.A. Laraque

J.A. Laraque is a freelance writer and novelist. His passion for writing mixed with a comedic style and intelligent commentary has brought him success in his various endeavors. Whatever the subject, J.A. has an opinion on it and will present it in writing with an insight and flair that is both refreshing and informative.

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