Grand Theft Auto

Grand Theft Auto

Grand Theft Auto

The first Grand Theft Auto was created back in 1997 from DMA Design and I am proud to say the most hated sentence…. “I was playing GTA before it was cool”. The original game was a comedic action, driving free roamer with a top-down view. Unlike later installments of the game (except GTA 2) the game was actually a score-attack like game where you were stealing vehicles and murdering people, earning points in the process
Grand Theft Auto
Why it’s Great
Grand Theft Auto
Grand Theft Auto gave birth to one of the biggest (if not the biggest) franchises today for Rockstar and like Carmageddon 2 it was the subject of major controversy when it was released. Unlike Carmaggedon the franchise is still alive today and has produced millions of.. MONEY for the publishers , it is a blast to play and despite it’s age it still remains amazingly enjoyable until today.


Where you can get it
You can download the game for free here.

Grand Theft Auto: LEGO City

grand-theft-auto-meets-lego-city

Simply put, it’s just a brilliant GTA video. In LEGO City. More of a stop-motion animation with LEGOS actually. And a definite GTA theme. Cute. Enough said. Words can be expensive.

[youtube width=”600″ height=”480″]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EMY9VlMIEJk[/youtube]

Be Thankful, Gamer

Be Thankful, Gamer

I know. The title blew your mind. Umar Khan is writing about something he is thankful for rather than venting an apocalyptic hate filled rant? This is impossible, you may think to yourself. But it’s true. While my editorials are usually about me demeaning a genre or writing farewell letters, I am thankful for many things. And while I am in great appreciation for the greater things in life outside of gaming like friends and family and just the general ability to live, I am still thankful for the lesser things in life found in games.

happy-thanksgiving

I am thankful for games that give me a limited aerial arsenal and decide its time for an aerial fight. “Wait, what did he say?!” Calm down, reader! Give me a chance to explain myself. In games that focus too much on ground combat, I find it refreshing to be put into an aerial battle where my arsenal is limited to a single slashing attack. While these fights are repetitious in nature they also make every hit you land as important as the first swing. A force of timing and precision infuse you where the rest of the game left you with the mindless monotony of button mashing. One cannot deny the sheer satisfaction they feel when that overgrown robotic fly careens into the ground, left in a smoldering heap. Was it obnoxious? It sure was but you know when you have that get together with friends and talk about the game you’re all going to say, “Wasn’t the air battle a pain in the ass?” You’ll forge friends in common camaraderie and that is something you should be thankful for.

I am thankful for underwater levels because nothing gets my heart pumping more in a game than knowing there is the potential to suffocate or that hair rising terror that there could be a giant squid monster lurking in the murky depths. The sensation of dread that creeps upon me knowing that there is something dwelling around me in the darkness and one of my few hopes of survival around the crushing pressures of the blue abyss is my limited air supply is invigorating. I feel an unrelenting wave of anxiety as I progress through a game and I begin to notice the foreshadowing scenery getting a bit more coastal because I know, at some point, I will be submerged and I will end up crying myself to sleep like a little bitch that night.

I am thankful for villains who aren’t pure evil but just have differing views that they believe are correct and bode no true ill intent. In some sense you could find yourself relating to their predicament. If I learned one thing from Loghain in Dragon Age it’s that sometimes you have to be a D-bag to get through the day. Sure, the responsibility and knowledge of what you did will weigh heavily upon your shoulders but in order to be a titan sometimes you have to bear the curse of Atlas first. And while I found myself at odds with Loghain, had the tables been turned, had I witnessed the world from his perspective, it wouldn’t come as a surprise to find myself being loyal to this patriot.

I am thankful for in-game prostitutes. They are a great way to gauge your true moral values in life. As a teenager playing Grand Theft Auto, sleeping with a prostitute and immediately killing her for a refund was economical and humorous all at once. As I grew older and prostitutes found themselves leaking into other games, (haha, I said “leaking”) I began to take a more virtuous approach towards these emotionally distraught individuals. Should they keep to themselves as my hero rolled on by, I could see the pity in their eyes, the defeat drawn upon their faces as they simply tried to survive with the education they managed to soak in during their times in high school and the deprivation of their living situation, be it an addiction to drugs or a baby at home they wish to save from this lifestyle. However, should she open her disease-ridden, puss marked mouth and say “Hey, daddy? Want some tenda luvin care?” I kick into crusader mode and begin to purge the barrio from these swindling sluts! Some may say, what a hypocrite! I say, “Fuck you!”

I am thankful for player collision and the ability to grab your partner. Nothing increases the enjoyment of a game like having a cohort. And nothing increases that bliss like being able to nab your partner and toss them into a canyon between platforms. I remember spending more time fighting with my brother in the New Super Mario Brothers Wii than actually trying to complete the level. Constantly jumping in different directions to slam into each other and fall to our deaths, tossing one another into bob-ombs, and bubbling up to lose the level are some of the most amusing cooperative game play elements I have ever encountered. Let us not forget of the grand self-sabotage in the coop mode of Little Big Planet. If you remember, you could grab your partner’s arm and drag them. Nothing in comparison could be funnier than watching a friend run to gain force for a jump and chasing after them. Right before they took their leap of faith, I would nab their arm quickly and tug in the opposite direction, At this point all I had to do was let go, depleting their momentum but leaving them cascading in the air and falling short of the platform. I am so thankful for the ability to interact with your partner in a game. So very thankful for all the laughs and tears shed while with playing with friends.

So, dear reader, there are things out there to be thankful for in games, if you really think about it. They bring memorable times with friends, an opportunity to share a story with your brothers in arms, and a chance to display your true character traits. Right now, some of you are probably in your room, isolated from your family because you have relatives coming over for Thanksgiving and wish to not be bothered. You want to hold your Xbox close to you and whisper sweet nothings into its air vents but remember, keeping your gaming experience to yourself is lonely. Stories are best shared than kept in your head. Get out there, make some friends, drink with your family, have a good time because life is meaningless without people you care about, even if you feel they don’t care about you. It’s only one day any way. Enjoy it. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

APB. I Think U Dun Goofed

APB logo
APB logo

Long, long ago in the summer of 2010 there lived a game called All Points Bulletin. It was a large sandbox-ish Grand Theft Auto online that took developer Realtime Worlds millions to create. For many, it was a brief stint of entertainment that was hindered by hacks, broken mechanics, and normal players being dominated by gamers who memorized the map and all the good camping spots. For some, it was a new age Wild West where you could roam the city freely and reap havoc on a grand scale against friend and foe.

Of any game out there it had the most amazing character customization option to date. People were creating Ninja Turtle Gangsters with a van to match. People made pedophile theme gangster with Pedobear etched on the side of their vehicles. The game had so much to offer cosmetic hogs that it seemed it could hold a respectable player base for that option alone at least.

But what happened? APB just didn’t seem to hit its expected highs and hit unexpected lows. Was it because of the game? Was it because there were no commercials or real advertisements? You’d think a game like this would have millions of GTA fans drooling all over it. Unfortunately for Realtime Worlds, this isn’t a dream that would become a reality. On September 16th, 2010 the game would breathe its last breaths as it was announced they would be bringing it offline. All the servers came down and that was the end of this Gangster Vs Vigilante Armageddon.

However…

Recently it was announced that free MMO publisher Gamersfirst was going to resuscitate the corpse of APB and release it within the first half of the next year under a Free to Play model. While it does seem they intend to bring back APB, it certainly feels like it is going to be zombified rather than returning to its true former grace.

The team developing this game under Gamersfirst is Reloaded Productions, a group that has been working on an original RPG for the past year or so and has released nothing under its belt. None of the former the employees of Realtime Worlds are even involved in this Rebirth project.

This Free to Play model wreaks of failure as well. Former players of APB will most likely not even be able to play as their old characters and would have to start over again. Why is that? Well, legal issues from Realtime Worlds indicate that they can’t release databases with customer information so this release of APB would be more of an APB v2.

Exactly how will this F2P model work? It has been confirmed that players may “lease” weapons and purchase a premium status that expands on the creation tools. Let me allow this to set in. It expands on nothing. Reloaded Productions isn’t expanding on the current games creation tools. They are holding back options that this game was released with and are now charging players to unlock the only real great thing this game had going for it.

What was the point of this purchase? Everything about this rerelease suggests that this game will be an abomination beyond all abominations. While it hasn’t been released yet and I am talking out of my ass, the confirmed changes in the team, the monetized plan, and the withholding of the games key feature just makes me uninterested in the future of APB.

How can a developer who didn’t create this game and doesn’t even know how to manage the Unreal 3 Engine that it was based upon make this game a future success. That’s like asking me to work on it your trigonometry homework. Just because I’m part Asian doesn’t mean I know math. The same goes for a “developer” who acquires a game they didn’t work on and expecting to be able to reverse engineer something they don’t understand.

I wouldn’t suggest jumping back into APB if you’re really looking to get into this game again. Just get Grand Theft Auto 4 and play online if you’re looking for a shootout jamboree. With all the mechanic flaws this game had under Realtime Worlds, there is no possible way that Reloaded Productions is going to be able fix any of the mistakes the original team failed to correct firsthand.

Motivational Monday: Stereotype

Stereotype demotivational poster
Stereotype demotivational poster

Motivational Monday: Stereotype

I remember when I first started playing Everquest and decided to make a female character. I like a strong woman and honestly if I was going to stare at the ass of a character all day I preferred it to be a ladies. Most of the people I played with were real life friends, but soon enough I met a ton of people and new friendships were built.

We talked about a lot of things, but I was never one to give away much about myself including my name or race. Finally when someone found out they were very surprised; “I didn’t think many black people played RPG’s” one person said. There was nothing wrong with that statement, not to me anyway. It was true, there weren’t that many compared to Caucasians. I remember someone asking me; “Can you make a black character in Everquest?” The answer was yes you could, but I didn’t really care about that. For me it did not matter.

However, having played video games since the mid-eighties I have to admit to becoming aware of some insensitivity in video games when it has come to both women and minorities. Sometimes it was just something a black character said or how he or she was displayed in the game. Other times it was just funny, with a hint of sadness, at how black people were portrayed, especially in Japanese RPG’s.

Sadly one becomes more aware of these things when they get older. Like the old Tom and Jerry cartoons that sometimes shows the large black housekeeper lady or the blackface with the big lips when something exploded near a cartoon character. For the most part I shrugged it off and even laughed if it was really funny. Games like Grand Theft auto and the likes never bothered me because honestly I knew people who acted just like that.

Now spending more time looking back at games I have found some examples where black people weren’t shown in the best light. It is not that we have to always been portrayed like the Cosby show, but if nothing else, some of these designers need to hire a black man consultant. Saying that, I am available for hire.

Let’s take a look:

Michael Jackson’s Moonwalker


I could go for the easy joke and say he didn’t count, but I can’t speak ill of the dead. Oh sure I can, look at him spinning and kicking up pixie dust when he kicks, come on! They have Michael collecting kids and making his enemies dance to death. Then again I guess Michael did kind of do that so this is pretty accurate.

Shaq Fu


I see the first issue now, why do they give all the black folks the horrible video games? We really should have a contest to see which was the worst Shaq; Shazam, Steel or Shaq Fu, all titles that start with S and were a piece of S.  So Shaq is playing himself and while sightseeing before a charity basketball game he wonders into an old man’s store and is told to walk through some backdoor portal to a new land, I think this is how slavery happened.

I like the use of “jive” talk that Shaq uses and his first fight is again a black woman where he says; “Your magic won’t work on me girlfriend.” Then he commits both domestic violence and black on black crime.

Michael Jordan: Chaos in the Windy City


Wow, so we have another basketball themed game where MJ becomes a ninja or something and goes around fighting people with a basketball. First off, how does he have unlimited basketballs, I didn’t get that with my black man kit. Second, he starts off in a prison, subtle guys, real subtle. Third, there are basketball hoops all over the place where he can dunk. Who built this world, the Harlem Globetrotters?

Barrett Wallace: Final Fantasy 7


Mr. T with slang pulled out of Grand Theft Auto put it together and you have Mr. Wallace. Ah, the Japanese and their intricate knowledge of black culture. Don’t get me wrong, I completely understand that the makers of Final Fantasy were not trying to be racist and I don’t really believe the character of Barrett to be racist, but it does hit some stereotypical points. With that said he was a good friend, a great solider and one of the best examples of a parent in the game. Still some of his dialog could have undergone some tweaking.

P.S. He had a freaking gun attached to his arm!

Sazh Katzroy: Final Fantasy 13


Again we have black character that is a loving father and honestly has one of the best storylines in the game. Sure, there is a little bit of stereotyping, but much less than in other games. I have to admit that I did like the baby Chocobo hiding in his massive afro. Sazh was loyal, funny and kind which also made him one of the most likeable and realistic characters in the game. Here is a bit of fact for you. Sazh was modeled after the singer Lionel Richie and his character was to be comedic with heart a gold, think Eddie Murphy in one of his Disney films.

Darkness is:

There are a ton of African American’s in games now, some with heavy stereotypes and many with little to none.  The fact is everyone gets stereotyped and it is really the context that counts. For me, it is good to see more minorities of all kinds in games. It makes it more real and more relatable. Hell, sometimes I wish I could watch the old Tom and Jerry cartoons with that maid, she was funny.

Should the government take steps to keep violent video games out of the hands of children?

high court building
high court building

If the political pundits are correct then the recent election was about tossing out the old and the will for less government in people’s lives. I won’t go into all that, but recently video game violence and what should be done about it has once again found its way into politics. It looks as if the Supreme Court might take up a case to decide if the government should be keeping violent video games out of the hands of children.

I thought we already went through this. Let’s be honest, if a kid really wants to play GTA then he or she is going to find a way to get it. We already have warnings and rating and some stores won’t even sell a game if it is too violent. Forget comparing video game violence against all other forms of violence that has been done to death. Let’s face facts here. Either you as a parent can try to raise your child the way you want or you can’t.

It should be enough that you can find out pretty much everything about a game before you buy it. It should be enough that there are age restrictions on the game. It should be enough that there is software and hardware solutions to keep your child from watching or playing what you don’t want them to. If they are still getting their hands on the Mortal Kombat game then maybe it is time to do something that every parent should do, talk to your child.

I don’t mean yell or scold or lecture him and I don’t mean using some technique you saw online or read in a book or saw on television. Don’t try to talk his talk or use “cool speak” or any other such garbage. Keep it clear and simple, but real. If you don’t want your child playing a game explain it with reason and logic. Believe me even today’s kids can understand reason.

Better yet meet them half way. When I was a child I could not see any movie with sex or really bad violence. However, my mother did not keep me from action movies even if it had death because she knew I needed to understand the difference between real and fake as well as limits. She taught me that everyone even her had limits and as we grew more things became available to us if we matured.

This taught me that in time I would see it all and since my mom allowed me a glimpse I wanted to mature so I could see more. At the same time I knew if I disobeyed her it would lead to a setback preventing me from seeing or experiencing even what I was allow to before. This can be applied now. Let you kid play Street Fighter and even Mortal Kombat (within reasonable age limits) then explain why GTA is off the table. Will it always work; will your child always comply? No, but parenting is a work in progress that lasts a long time.

Bottom line is communication and moderation is the key to most things in life. You cannot always just say no, but you can say not now or not too much. Government oversight and protections can be a good thing, but it can also go overboard. I may be a lefty, but I understand the importance of personal responsibility. If we use our heads and think things out then most issues can be resolved. Otherwise we are all just children, waiting for someone to tell us what to do and then it is only a matter of time before we rebel against what we were told.

Let’s take a look at how our panel feels on the question: Should the government take steps to keep violent video games out of the hands of children?

Jason Shankel from Stupid Fun Club wrote:

No.

Aaron Hunter from Playtechtonics Inc wrote:

No, of course not. The 1st amendment gives artists the right to create violent content. If the art is unliked it should go un-sold without the need of costly government intervention.

David Warhol from Realtime Associates wrote:

No, but retailers should, and parents DEFINITELY should.  The problem we’re having is parents who think just because something is called a “game” means it is for kids.  Unfortunately, there is no law against bad parenting.

Grace Snoke from EOGamer wrote:

As the mother of an 11-year-old, I monitor what he plays.  We had the discussion when he wanted Call of Duty 4 Modern Warfare what the ratings meant.  I simply explained “M is for mature.  You are not that.  Until you are, I will not buy that game for you.”  At the same time, we won’t play those games ourselves in front of him.  Yes, we do own it for the PC.

He also wants to play World of Warcraft with both of us (his dad and I both play).  We have said no, not until he’s old enough and mature enough to play.  We don’t feel he’s mature enough to have his own account.  I don’t feel many of the children under the age of 16 are mature enough to be able to play the game.

Ultimately, it is not the government’s job to be a parent.  It is the parent’s job to be a responsible adult and keep games they deem inappropriate out of the hands of their children.  What’s next?  No song’s on the radio that contain any form of innuendo?  There’s a lot of that out there right now, some very popular songs that pre-teens know and listen to, but don’t understand the meaning of.  Keep government out of it by being a responsible parent.

 

 

 

 

Join the discussion, what’s you’re take?

(Real)time has run out

So Scottish developer Realtime Worlds has gone into administration, following the poor response to its online game APB, leaving ambitious future project MyWorld hanging in the balance. What has gone wrong for founder David Jones, and what impact will it have on the British software industry?

In the wake of Crackdown – its appeal no doubt helped by the Halo 3 beta that Microsoft “attached” to the game – there were plans for a sequel, and for work to commence on Jones’ ambitious “crime MMO”. Somewhere along the line new developer Ruffian – also based in Dundee – got the Crackdown 2 contract and Realtime were concentrating on APB.

There was hype certainly, much of it centring on Realtime’s pedigree and David Jones himself as one of the creators of the GTA franchise. But were expectations raised too high? Fans were expecting a persistent game world populated with many people. What they got was small groups on isolated servers. Players were expecting more sandbox style gameplay, the ability to go anywhere and do anything. The result was disappointing, with only certain vehicles able to be hijacked and gunfights limited to current rivals.

The final strike had to be the pricing model. The talk before the launch was of a new way of doing things, but what it amounted to was either a monthly subscription (nothing new for MMO players) or a pay-as-you-go scheme. This seemed to be a sticking point for many reviewers. With poor feedback, poor sales and poor prospects – even with hints of a patch/upgrade promising more action in “chaos zones” – it was almost inevitable that it would affect Realtime Worlds and its future. But the sudden announcement of layoffs on the MyWorld team was followed by the administrators being called in, even after extra funding for MyWorld had been secured.

Where does this leave the people who worked there? There are several other Scottish developers, and a good chance that many will find jobs there. The Scottish Parliament is also looking into tax breaks for games firms, going against the policy south of the border. But there is a real risk that many of the team will move overseas, hitting the development prospects here. Events have moved quickly, with three major developers (including the UK’s own Blitz) setting up recruitment events in Dundee to attract former Realtime staff. Project MyWorld has apparently seen many of its staff re-hired – at last count 23 – with every intention of that project being finished. Eutechnyx is looking to establish a new studio in Dundee, and there are still other companies there hoping to continue. The views of staff at the company have emerged, often critical of how the projects were managed and whether the lack of firm deadlines meant that time and investment were badly handled.

For me, the name APB will always mean the 1980s Atari coin-op (and its subsequent home conversion). That took a comedy cops & robbers style chase game and earned a lot of money. Realtime’s APB was always going to be a difficult sell, and it fell a long way short of expectations.

The Obsolete Gamer Show: Episode 7

PVP vs non-pvp PVE
PVP vs non-pvp PVE

Player versus Player and Player versus Environment was the topic for this week’s show. We were happy to have our good friend Edwin in the studio with us and had a great conversation via Skype with longtime Obsolete Gamer fan, Liz Poisonkiss.

We started off with a recap of last week’s show which featured MMO’s and then moved into our Facebook fanpage question of the week which asked which our fans preferred to play PVE or PVP type games. From there we talked about our Insider Discussion question of the week which asked our panel which had a bigger impact on PC gaming RTS or FPS games.

From there we dove right into the main topic discussing the differences between a FPS mindset playing games such as Quake 2 and the strategy side of RTS games such as the original Warcraft game. Edwin also talked about his online Street Fighter games and said that he preferred to play again a human which we all agreed.

We premiered a new feature on OGS called Skype with a fan where we talk with people who have participated on our Facebook page and Forums and our first guest was longtime fan Liz. Who shared her thoughts on being a gamer girl, fps versus rts and pvp versus pve.

In our final segment Ignacio, Edwin and I discussed our various experiences in PVP from MMO’s to X-box live to arcades. Overall we had a good discussion about an important subject in the world of gaming. So give us a listen and we will be back next week with a brand new show.

The Obsolete Gamer Show: Episode 7

Video Game Art Is In The Eye of The Beholder

Mario Art
Mario Art

There has been quite a debacle in the media entertainment industry on whether video games are considered art and/or show any valued relevance that can make the player look back and reflect the actions undertaken in the game towards their own life. When curiously looking into Edvard Munch’s work The Scream, soothingly listening to a symphony composed by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, or choking up reading Where The Red Fern Grows by Wilson Rawls, there is one thing in common they all share. They are considered art and evoke emotion within the willing participant viewer. Video games have been labeled as a media outlet that in its current state is incapable of causing an expressive movement in the partaker of this virtual journey.I, for one, disagree.

Art has been defined in a wide aspect and it’s meaning is subject to those who interpret it. The film American Beauty has a scene where one of the characters was commenting on the beauty of a plastic bag caught in the wind, wisping above the drab concrete pavement and what this meaningless occurrence meant to him. If a plastic bag swaying malevolently in the wind is considered art than the freedom expressed in the level editor for Little Big Planet should be considered a masterpiece. Given a set amount of tools, a gamer is handed his emblematic paintbrush and pallet and left with free domain to create a level or Sack Boy in any way they please. Sure this does not sound like something on the level an artist would have to deal with but I must interject. We are all given the same colors and brushes but chances most likely are one would be unable to paint the Mona Lisa or sculpt “David”. They could be replicated but never to same preciseness of the original. The ability to take what is already there and construct it into something new and inexplicable and projecting it as a physical manifestation of thought and creativity is art.

Sometimes, physicality is not enough merit to consider a form of entertainment media as a source of art. What about the ability to portray controversy? The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger portrayed sexuality, a copious use of vulgarity, and a truer depiction of teenage angst at the time of its published date. The uproar caused this book to be considered controversial and yet is considered art for its ability to stir up emotions in the reader. If controversy is needed to be part of the art in-crowd than Grand Theft Auto should be ringleader. The ability to sleep with a hooker and than murder her only to reclaim your money, snipe an old woman crossing the street, shout absurd profanities, and go on highway speed chases with the police is the staple for the GTA series. Many claim it glamorizes moral degradation to gamers and imbues them with a violent sociopathic personality. Last I checked, The Catcher in the Rye wasn’t claimed responsible for over five deaths and multiple occurrences of other real life crimes.

Being able to feel something emotionally towards a story is one thing many people are able to relate towards their own lives. The feeling of regret and the inability to mend past mistakes is a strong focal point in the novel Atonement by Ian McEwan where a young girl attempts to atone for a past accusation she commits which effectively ruins the lives of two people. Making right from a past wrong is a common relevant instance in the lives of people. It is easy after reading such a powerful work of literature that the reader would be able to look back on the misdeeds of their past and think of ways to remedy them. In the God of War series, Kratos is not only seeking absolute vengeance but also atonement for the mistaken murders of his wife and child. This is the main focus point of the series and shows just how far one man would go for redemption even against a pantheon of gods. Stories in some games have a deep meaning that goes beyond traveling from point A to point B. There is actual character development and the ability to relate to a theme that vaguely resembles the willingness of someone in real life.

Video games in their current state may be considered primitive art but they are art nonetheless. There are moments, stories, visual inspirations, and music many people will not forget. No one will forget the feeling that stir up when they hear the Final Fantasy intro music, the desperations of Cole from Infamous to save the people and a city that hates him, and the beauty painted in Okami. I could go on and on with citing examples of how gaming fits the definition of art but that would take a book’s length of words. The industry may be far from being considered comparable to Leonardo da Vinci but it is still in its current shape and form artistic.

I Had 150 Pokemon But A Charmander Named Pidgey Ain’t One.

No Mew 4 U
No Mew 4 U

There are many dismal moments that people linger on. The kind of moments that felt like they cheated their ways into life. A positive note in one’s lifelong journey can easily shift tides and become a time remembered with great disdain. One such moment was when I was eleven years old and heavily addicted to Pokemon the Game Boy game.

My brother and I, in our adolescent youth, had caught all 150 Pokemon in our game by trading with each other and making one cartridge the master trainer. The adventure took a good month’s worth of dedication. Now, for an eleven and seven year old, catching all 150 Pokemon was a pretty big deal for us. A pretty big fucking deal. Never had we banded together for such a feat in our lives. To this day we still haven’t undertaken a joint project with one another of such magnitude since we became Pokemon masters.

It was a Thursday afternoon and we both attended a karate school with our younger sister. Since our age divisions were an hour apart, we decided to do the Mew trick and catch ourselves the final 151th Pokemon to officially become grand masters in our field of Pokemonology after we got home. I had brought my Gameboy to totally pwn all of the other ninja’s in training at my dojo while I waited for my class to start. Once it was time to physically abuse my sparring partners with my paddle-like feet (They are so flat it stings when I kick you. A just punishment for making me take off my shoes to rumble.), my sister approached me and asked if she could play my Pokemon game. I told her fine but to not save. She always knew not to and was pretty good about not doing so. Rushing off to class to become a demon of Kenpo, I felt like I had the strength of 150 Pokemon on my karate belt and soon I would add one more. Time flew by and class ended as swiftly as Mankey’s karate chop attack. My siblings and I raced home filled with excitement to finally bring our journey to a close.

For those wondering how to catch Mew in Pokemon Red and Blue:

Sitting side by side on the couch, both of us were on the brink of pissing ourselves from the electricity filling the air around us. That gloomy green and black screen which only a true gamer could find beauty in of our Gameboy illuminated our innocent faces. As we prepared ourselves to load the game, we noticed it said our Pokedex said 1 Pokemon caught. Thinking it was a glitch, we loaded the game anyway. Slowly, as our hearts sank, we realized it wasn’t a glitch. We were in Pallet Town with one Pokemon named Pidgey. The insult didn’t end there. No, no it did not. That Pidgey… was a fucking Charmander. She saved over our game and we were left with a Charmander named Pidgey.

Obviously, we flipped out. Of course we did. It was the only logical reaction at the time. My sister claimed she didn’t do it on purpose and looking at her little round face with missing teeth and helmet-like haircut filled me with mercy. She was too innocent at the time to truly embrace evil and wrong doings. My brother and I never again attempted to catch those 151 Pokemon ever. We were beaten and broken. Our heads were bloodied and bowed. Never again would this kind of madness happen again, we assured ourselves. We took the reins of monitoring saved games in the family from that point on.

It wasn’t until my college years that another apocalyptic event such as this would resurface. I was eighteen at the time that Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas came out and to say the least, it was the bomb-diggity. Every day after my classes I would come home and play GTA:SA for a good 2-3 hours before getting back to business and completing my homework/studying. On the weekends, however, I would play till the sun came up. I found all the little hidden packages in the entire city, found my amusement in kamikazing planes into buildings, had all the districts unlocked, and was nearly completed with the game. If I recall correctly, it said my file had 98% completion or something around this ratio. My playtime was probably 80+ hours by the time I reached this point in the game and I only had one mission left. Carl Johnson was about to reclaim the hood and own this city. Nothing would stop him now.

During my lunch break at school, I decided to go home instead for a little something to eat. My stepfather was playing GTA when I got there and I didn’t think anything of it. I let him play my save since I had all the weapons, hideouts, and the whole map unlocked. Normally, having this kind of freedom to roam around a sandbox game is what brings the most fun. Not having to work hard to unlock everything brings unlimited enjoyments since it allows one to render an unprecedented amount of widespread carnage. Returning to school, I thought nothing of him playing the game since it was part of the norm.

Finally returning to my abode after wanting to cut myself in business class, I was ready to kick some ass and finish GTA:SA. Now I refuse to insult your intelligence as you’ve probably caught on to what has happened I will simply jump ahead to my reaction. Realizing that I had 30 minutes of gameplay on my save and being in the first neighborhood I hulked out pretty bad. Looking back at it now, I shouldn’t have tossed and kicked the living shit out of my PS2 and then sold it to Gamestop along with all my PS2 games but I basically rage quit Playstation 2 after that. I couldn’t believe that the Heavens would look down on me and smite me a second time.

It is since that time I have not allowed anyone to even play the same game I am until I beat it or I make multiple saves on multiple hard drives on my PC in the event someone does something ridiculous again. I have learned my lesson, at least I hope I have. The last thing I need is for my hard drives to die simultaneously and/or someone decides to reformat everything. Safety first and don’t trust anyone with your games. Know what? That’s what I’m going to leave with you. Safety first and don’t trust a single person you love, worship, or admire with your fucking games. Just don’t do it, damn it. Yeah I like how that sounds.

If you’ve had any horrible experiences with game save or progression losses let us know the anguish and sinking feeling in your soul. Feel free to comment!

Games Coming Out April 2010 For Console

Coming Soon sign
Coming Soon sign

Ah April, the time for taxes and looking forward toward the summer. It’s a good thing game releases don’t take spring breaks because if there is one thing a true gamer wants it’s the next great game to play.

I’m going to change things up this time and create two lists, the A list, meaning its worth your time and cash and the WTF list and if you don’t know what that means look it up. So without further adieu let’s do this.

The “A” List

Splinter Cell: Conviction: April 13th

DRM aside Splinter Cell has been a solid title for quiet some times and as seen in the trailer this game looks to continue that trend by bringing you the stealthy gameplay mixed in with enough action and story to keep you interested.

Grand Theft Auto: Episodes from Liberty City: April 13th

What can I say it’s GTA and if you are a fan of the series then you have to add this game to your purchase list. It includes The Lost and Damned & The Ballad of Gay Tony, two complete games in one package. I mean who can get enough of carjacking and hooker beatings?

Super Street Fighter IV: April 27th

It’s Street Fighter IV, but with more butts to kick! What else is there to say, SFIV was pretty awesome and if there is one thing Capcom can do besides make great games is milk them for all they’re worth. However, to be fair there are a ton of new characters, new level designs and features to this game and again, this is nothing new for Capcom or the Street Fighter series. Simply put, if you loved SFIV then you will be getting this game and the ton of downloadable costume packs that are sure to follow.

Dead to Rights: Retribution: April 27th

In my opinion Dead to Rights got it right with their mix of story and action when I played the original it completely drew me in and now with Retribution you get more story, more action, more characters and of course more brutal combat!

FIFA World Cup 2010: April 27th (PSP)

It’s called Football you American dogs! Okay so many of us Americans are not into Soccer, but it is the world’s game and FIFA has always done it right. If you are a fan then rejoice because this year’s version looks great with updated rosters and a new shooting mechanic all on the PSP. Yes, I said the PSP. People do own them!

The “WTF” List

Mean Girls: April 20th (DS)

Remember this movie, anyone? Lindsay Lohan is in it. By the way did you know that Lindsay Lohan tried to sue E-Trade over the baby commercial where they say the line; “and that milk-a-holic Lindsay wasn’t over?” You know from this commercial? Why is she suing? Because she thinks she is the Lindsay they are referring to as a way to make fun of her as if she is the only Lindsay on the planet. Why am I bringing this up? Because it is a hell of a lot more interesting than this game would be.

My First Dollhouse: April 27th (DS)

Oh look another DS game! Hey, check it out, you know how kids use to play with toys and have a real doll house? Well forget that BS if my child wants a dollhouse she can get one on the DS where I don’t have to pick up after her or trip over the new dining room table she got for it. The good thing about this game is at least your brother can’t break that realistic tea set your aunt got you for Christmas, or can he?

Games coming out April 2010 for PC

The Ballad of Gay Tony
The Ballad of Gay Tony

Games coming out April 2010 for PC by Honorabili

Not much is coming out this April for PC.

Borderlands Add-On Pack, April 6

This seems to be the DLC compilation all bundled together for Borderlands. Some of the content is already available such as the Zombie Island of Dr. Ned.

Grand Theft Auto: Episodes from Liberty City, April 13

The PC is always slow to get releases of GTA as opposed to the consoles, although GTA originally is a PC game. Many console gamers consider these chapters of GTA to be some of the better ones. GTA: Episodes from Liberty City includes The Lost and Damned, and The Ballad of Gay Tony.

Splinter Cell: Conviction, April 27

The trailer reminds me of Max Payne mixed with Splinter Cell with an over-the-top action movie. It might still be a lot of fun. 😀 I myself will not buy it because this does have the Ubisoft DRM that requires an internet connection to play a single-player game.

Serious Sam HD: The Second Encounter, April 28

Serious Sam kind of fills the void for me that Duke Nukem would have filled (sounds sick) but it’s the same kind of game. I guess it wouldn’t hurt to have more generic FPS games like this one. Good thing about Serious Sam is that they always sell it at a value price so a lot of people will actually buy it and you will have people to play it with, since this one has co-op.

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Well, it’s a short list for April. If you are a game developer and would like your game listed let me know (so long as it’s a game that’s good). It’s also a good time for you to release a game for PC because of the shortage of titles this month. Keep checking these kind of articles because I update them with new release dates and new late-comers.