MySpace Interview – Bemis

So, who are you anyway?

Well I am Gareth Howells, half of a duo called Bemis that are based in the South of England, playing outside our hometown as much as we play at home now. We”ve both been playing for decades, in other projects, but both feel that this is the biggest thing we”ve done musically.

Describe your sound for us then?

We both play acoustic guitars, although very differently. I tend to keep the rhythm going while Richie plays the clever bits on top with his twelve string. We both sing, usually in harmony, and both have quite different sounding voices. This is useful when we”re doing a whole night in a venue and can vary the vocal sound a bit.

So you rate yourself then?

Well I guess to be in the position where you feel comfortable playing in any situation you must have a degree of self-confidence and pride in what your doing. Whether or not you could “rate” yourself suggests putting yourself next to someone else or giving yourself a “rating” and I couldn”t do that – but I am proud of what we can do and will do in the future.

Who are your influences?

My influences are massively eclectic, but I guess the ones that are more obvious in the music I play would be the singer-songwriters or guitarists that I aspire to – so people like Bruce Cockburn, Richard Thompson, The Men They Couldn”t Hang, Barenaked Ladies, Ben Harper, Roy Harper, Michael Hedges, Crosby Stills and Nash, Simon and Garfunkel, REM, Loudon Wainwright 3, and Billy Bragg.
Those are the ones that are more immediately apparent when you hear our stuff, but I also can”t believe I can be THAT massively obsessed with Kate Bush, XTC, Adrian Belew and Oingo Boingo for them not to figure in the sub-conscious somewhere – I am a serious collector of these guys and assume they must figure in my writing as a result.

Tell us one of your musical secrets:

I guess our biggest secrets at the moment are the songs we have written for the next album but not played live yet – one called “Sisyphus” we are particularly excited about but won”t be putting that on myspace or anything until the album is finished.

What”s in the future?

Next year will be a good year, the 2nd album, some great festivals that have been offered, some other things that are on the boil that we haven”t done yet….past that, more long term I guess you never know how meeting different people and playing at different venues change your circumstances. Can”t wait though…

What is your claim to fame?

Claim to fame? One of the most talked about gigs we had amongst the people we know was our 5 week residency in Phuket, Thailand – that was a hell of an adventure and a big success. We were on telly over there too, and had huge posters of us up down the beach and beside the hotel we were staying at. Does that answer the question?

Musically where do you see yourself in 10 years time?

Still doing what we”re doing, but with a bigger pool of experience and friends to create new experiences with – we feel that we”re always changing and improving, as writers and performers, so in 10 years time they may be something we”re doing that I have no idea about now….depends on opportunity too of course…

MySpace or Facebook?

Well I still prefer myspace, but use facebook for more photo uploading and for the chat facility – myspace is still better for getting your music heard and hearing other people”s stuff – myspace is simpler and more enjoying to browse through I think, but facebook is popular so you”d be a fool to not try and publicise your band on there too…

MySpace Interview – Defiant

So, who are you anyway?

We are Defiant, melodic death metal band from Croatia.

Describe your sound for us.

Death metal with lots of melodies and some cool riffs.

So you rate yourself then?

Akhm…you think so?

Who are your influences?

Old school metal.

Tell us one of your musical secrets.

If i tell you then it will be no longer a secret:)

What’s in the future?

Playing and having a very good time.

What’s your claim to fame?

Do what you have to do if you can.

Musically, where do you see yourself in 10 years time?

10 years older… but musically …wait and see for yourself.

MySpace or Facebook?

Myspace

Obscure Gamer – Not Buying It

As the year turns towards autumn and gamers minds’ turn to the big new releases, there are several things I am not buying. The most obvious is Modern Warfare 2: Call Of Duty. It will probably turn out to be one of the biggest selling releases of all time, but it’s not for me.

There are two main reasons for that. The first is I’ve not played the previous game in the series, and that would seem to put me at an immediate disadvantage, tutorials and manuals not withstanding. The other is the ludicrous “special edition” pack with its night vision goggles. If ever there was an over-marketed idea it’s that one. At some level the Halo 3 pack with its Master Chief helmet still seems appealing (despite many claims of discs being scratched), yet this seems to be one step too far for Modern Warfare 2. I’m not buying Halo 3: ODST either, with or without the Halo: Reach beta – I’ll probably look at that in a few months’ time.

I’m also not buying a PS3 Slim. Sony’s strategy is bizarre – losing even more money per console, not including an HDMI cable as standard and again refusing to include decent backwards compatibility. I’m not buying the argument that the new wave of people buying the machine will only be hooking it up to an older TV in the bedroom and hence don’t need HD input. (Microsoft’s decision to drop the HDMI cable is baffling too, and while the changes are being widely reported as a price cut for the Elite model, it actually represents a drastic increase for the Arcade). Uncharted 2, Katamari Forever and Heavy Rain are starting to look like reasons for joining the PS3 brigade though…

I’m not buying Beatles: Rock Band. Not straight away – I still have a lot of mileage to get out of the original Rock Band, and am thinking of picking up at least one of the recent Guitar Hero packages (World Tour or Greatest Hits) before I get the Beatles game. After a brief playing session with the game at the Retro Reunited event, it is definitely a progression and improvement on earlier titles and it looks amazing. It can survive on its wave of hype without my purchase in the first few weeks. The same applies to Guitar Hero 5, which managed to beat the Beatles to number one in the UK software charts in its first week.

I’m not buying Wii Sports Resort. It will be a long-term purchase, but I still have several Wii games (purchased in a cheap buying spree at Easter) to play through. I’m not knocking the game itself, or the MotionPlus add-on – my hands-on experience with Tiger Woods 10 proves it works really well – but to get the best out of it I need to buy TWO MotionPlus units and that is quite an outlay.

I’m not buying Sega’s announcement about Project Needlemouse either. This is apparently the “critical first step” in returning Sonic the Hedgehog to his 2D roots. Sonic’s 2D games gradually progressed away from the core idea of a fast-moving character, and the poor blue hedgehog never really had a 3D epiphany as great as Mario 64. But if this is only a first step, then there is going to be a lot of pitfalls (if you’ll pardon the pun) until the “new old Sonic” gets to his goal. Why not follow Mega Man’s example and go the whole hog (if you’ll pardon another pun) by commissioning a truly 2D game with retro-style visuals? I personally enjoyed the Sonic RPG on the DS with its blend of polygonal characters and cartoon backgrounds. More experimentation on the lines of that title and the excellent Sonic Rush would be better appreciated by Sonic fans.

Since I have got some money in my PayPal account at the moment, I probably will buy some retro stuff on Ebay instead, such as controllers for older machines, a memory cartridge for my Saturn and so on. With several key titles dropping back to 2010 to avoid Modern Warfare 2, it looks like I might be on a buying spree early in the New Year…

Not Buying It

call of duty

As the year turns towards autumn and gamers minds’ turn to the big new releases, there are several things I am not buying. The most obvious is Modern Warfare 2: Call Of Duty. It will probably turn out to be one of the biggest selling releases of all time, but it’s not for me.

There are two main reasons for that. The first is I’ve not played the previous game in the series, and that would seem to put me at an immediate disadvantage, tutorials and manuals not withstanding. The other is the ludicrous “special edition” pack with its night vision goggles. If ever there was an over-marketed idea it’s that one. At some level the Halo 3 pack with its Master Chief helmet still seems appealing (despite many claims of discs being scratched), yet this seems to be one step too far for Modern Warfare 2. I’m not buying Halo 3: ODST either, with or without the Halo: Reach beta – I’ll probably look at that in a few months’ time.

I’m also not buying a PS3 Slim. Sony’s strategy is bizarre – losing even more money per console, not including an HDMI cable as standard and again refusing to include decent backwards compatibility. I’m not buying the argument that the new wave of people buying the machine will only be hooking it up to an older TV in the bedroom and hence don’t need HD input. (Microsoft’s decision to drop the HDMI cable is baffling too, and while the changes are being widely reported as a price cut for the Elite model, it actually represents a drastic increase for the Arcade). Uncharted 2, Katamari Forever and Heavy Rain are starting to look like reasons for joining the PS3 brigade though…

I’m not buying Beatles: Rock Band. Not straight away – I still have a lot of mileage to get out of the original Rock Band, and am thinking of picking up at least one of the recent Guitar Hero packages (World Tour or Greatest Hits) before I get the Beatles game. After a brief playing session with the game at the Retro Reunited event, it is definitely a progression and improvement on earlier titles and it looks amazing. It can survive on its wave of hype without my purchase in the first few weeks. The same applies to Guitar Hero 5, which managed to beat the Beatles to number one in the UK software charts in its first week.

I’m not buying Wii Sports Resort. It will be a long-term purchase, but I still have several Wii games (purchased in a cheap buying spree at Easter) to play through. I’m not knocking the game itself, or the MotionPlus add-on – my hands-on experience with Tiger Woods 10 proves it works really well – but to get the best out of it I need to buy TWO MotionPlus units and that is quite an outlay.

I’m not buying Sega’s announcement about Project Needlemouse either. This is apparently the “critical first step” in returning Sonic the Hedgehog to his 2D roots. Sonic’s 2D games gradually progressed away from the core idea of a fast-moving character, and the poor blue hedgehog never really had a 3D epiphany as great as Mario 64. But if this is only a first step, then there is going to be a lot of pitfalls (if you’ll pardon the pun) until the “new old Sonic” gets to his goal. Why not follow Mega Man’s example and go the whole hog (if you’ll pardon another pun) by commissioning a truly 2D game with retro-style visuals? I personally enjoyed the Sonic RPG on the DS with its blend of polygonal characters and cartoon backgrounds. More experimentation on the lines of that title and the excellent Sonic Rush would be better appreciated by Sonic fans.

Since I have got some money in my PayPal account at the moment, I probably will buy some retro stuff on Ebay instead, such as controllers for older machines, a memory cartridge for my Saturn and so on. With several key titles dropping back to 2010 to avoid Modern Warfare 2, it looks like I might be on a buying spree early in the New Year…

MySpace Interview – Less than a Felony

So, who are you anyway?

We are Less than a Felony. Formed in Boston in 2000, when two Irish friends Riz and Dessie sat drinking all day. Then after a few weeks, we met Charlie and we started the band.

Describe your sound for us.

Our sound? lets see, it’s a mix of a lot of things so I’ve been told. A bit of punk some rock, and mainly rock. We like to play loud, with a good bit of thought put into it..

So you rate yourself then?

We really don’t, that’s the truth. We think we are good. If we didn’t what’s the point in playing. We do it because we love it, we been doing it for years.

Who are your influences?

I think we all have different influences from Dylan to Motorhead, we try and not sound like anyone but we are bound to sound like someone else.

Tell us one of your musical secrets.

Have fun with it, and don’t take yourself too seriously!

What’s in the future?

Playing gigs meeting and playing with other bands, and getting out there.

Musically, where do you see yourself in 10 years time?

We see ourselves doing the same thing, I hope. Playing locally or playing all over, but still playing, that’s for sure. There is nothing like playing live, nothing at all.

Myspace or Facebook?

Myspace all the way.

J.A. Cares Issue: Fat FAQ

 

Fat People Motivational Poster
Not pictured J.A. Laraque

The maintenance staff here at ObscureInternet world headquarters brought me a new desk chair. The old one had a… incident. It seems you cannot lean all the way back in the default office chairs while typing on your wireless keyboard and eating fish and chips, who would have known.

They tell me this chair will hold up to four hundred pounds, I guess it will have to do. This made me think about the plight of being overweight and so I began searching through my e-mails because I remember someone sending me a question about being fat.

After a long search and three cans of Red Bull, I found the e-mail.

Biff McCracken from Middleton Minnesota writes:

Dear J.A.,

I noticed you like to only show headshots of yourself and I didn’t even know you were fat like me until I found your facebook page. I have to ask, how do you feel fat people are treated? Here in Middleton most of us are overweight, its kind of like fat heaven. I never feel out of place and everyone, ever an avid World of Warcraft player as myself, can easier find a girlfriend. How about you, do you ever feel persecuted because of your weight?

My sister made me sign up on Facebook, she thought it would help me be more social. I told her I was anti-social and happy with that, but she didn’t listen. It disturbs me, Biff that you searched and found it, but since you did I will answer your questions.

P.S. You really did not need to include a photo of you and your “girlfriend” in your bathing suits. I guess you are trying to put me on a diet because I just lost my lunch. Thanks for that.

Disclaimer:

This might end up being a two part’er again. Glen says I’m pushing my luck with these multi-part posts, but he gave me admin rights so muhahahahaha!

Simple answer, yes. I have been discriminated against, persecuted and just made fun of for being fat and it is unfair. Then again it has helped fuel my contempt for society so it’s not all bad. Let me share with you a few things that piss me off about how you non-fatties view us thinly challenged.

Fat is not a ninja

Fat does not sneak up on you like a thief in the night. If you feel the need to point out the fat person in the crowd then I guarantee you they know they are fat. There is no such thing as a three hundred and fifty pound man who does not know they are fat, so please, for the love of God, stop coming up to us talking to us like we don’t know we are fat. We know!

I gave at the office

Do you hate things like, spam, telemarketers and Jehovah Witnesses? We fat people hate them too, so when you decide you want to sell us some weight loss pills, a gym membership or a fat free Christmas ham please, just keep it to yourselves.

Opposites do attract

While it is true that fat people gravitate to each other like two meteors in space this doesn’t mean we don’t sometimes end up with someone skinny. I personally prefer a woman with some meet on her bones. I mean I don’t want a toothpick because I break toothpicks and when I climb on top of a woman I want to be able to find her, but I digress.

Some fat guys get skinny women and sometimes they are hot. Don’t player hate. If it makes you feel better he most likely is very rich with a big house and car and she is using him. Maybe she is damaged in the head. Maybe she is a chubby chaser. Either way, just keep walking because she is with him and there is a reason. I mean your girl looks alright… in the right light.

You can’t spell limitations without limit

There are plenty of overweight individuals out there who are in better shape than you might think. This however does not mean that when you plan to go hiking in the Himalayas that you should call your friend who is on a ventilator.

I hate turning down an invitation, but there are some things I know as an overweight guy I just cannot do yet. This does not keep some of my friends from inviting me to events such as rock climbing and bungee cording. I figured either they are really stupid, they are trying to film me for YouTube fame or they are trying to kill me.

You don’t know fat

I know some of you like to point out fat people in the crowd to make fun of. Some of you think you are helping by approaching fat people and trying to give advice or sell us something. The problem is you don’t know anything about us. All fat is not created equal. There are many different reasons we are fat and many of us are in various states of transition.

You might see a fat person and consider him lazy, but for all you know he just lost fifty pounds. Remember, it takes years to lose weight if you were really big and as many of your virgins know, it takes time to reach your ultimate goals. In the meantime, keep your comments and advice to yourself and leave us alone.

Next on Fatscrimination

There more to talk about including some of the misconceptions people have regarding fat people and their lives. Here is a hint; we are just like you only bigger. In part two I will discuss such struggles for the fat person like, air plane seats, all-you-can-eat buffets and fat sex. Sit back, relax and have a bag of cheetos on me.

MySpace Interview – The Hubris

So, who are you anyway?

We’re The Hubris. Bill Wood (from Bill Wood Rocks!) on guitar and lead vocals, Stephen Mackie on lead guitar and backing vocals, Mark Williamson on bass guitar and vocals Evan Getty on drums. We’ve been playing as this line up for about 5 months. We currently have about 6 gigs under our belt with many more scheduled in the near future. We’re based in Northern Ireland.

Describe your sound for us.

Like a cross between Green Day and The Wildhearts. Heavy melodic riffing with chorus’s that you can (hopefully) be singing along with after one listen.

So you rate yourself then?

Damn straight. We are awesome! We have been described one a local promoter as sounding “really catchy – like a cross between The Clash, Green Day and The Jam in a three way explosion of awesome”. We had 4 of our tracks played on local radio a few days ago and the listeners asked for another track after hearing them.

Who are your influences?

Green Day, The Wildhearts, Eve 6, Blink 182

Tell us one of your musical secrets.

When on stage, what you play needs to take a back step to how you play it. A band can be tight as fuck and just stand there, or a band can fuck it up royally in places, but if they do it with a swagger then the crowd are gonna favour them.

What’s in the future?

Battle of the Bands at Lisburn, NI on 16th Sept, and a few other gigs scattered through the months. Most of our gigs seem to be booked a between a few days and a fortnight in advance, so keep checking our MySpace page for the latest goss – www.myspace.com/thehubrisband

What’s your claim to fame?

Bill wandered around London stark naked one time. The drummer once threw up in his underpants. The bassist has three children and he refers to them as an acronym. The lead guitarist stays at home and watches Heartbeat. And he only has one kneecap.

Musically, where do you see yourself in 10 years time?

Surely you hear music, not see it? Overlooking that glaring error, probably playing shitty upstairs bars, all of us twice is fat and three times as bald as we are now. And that’s pretty bloody fat and bald.

MySpace or Facebook?

MySpace is better for bands, so MySpace. See us at myspace.com/thehubrisband.

Ask the Fucking Professor

Welcome to Ask the Fucking Professor.

If you have a question or a problem that cannot be answered by anyone, do not despair, you can always Ask the Professor! If Professor Lazarus can’t find the answer then there probably isn’t one.

Job Hunting

Why is it, when I’m not looking for a new job, there are an abundance of vacancies I could chose from, however, when I finally get my arse in gear to apply for something, there’s nothing going.

Well basically, you hate yourself. Every week you scan the job papers, when they are plenty full of jobs you could do your sub-conscious
whispers “No, your happy with what you do, think of the upheaval of changing jobs” thus keeping you doing the dead end job. BUT!!!!! when there are no vacancies, then, THEN! your subconscious kicks in and says shit like “Pooh! you could do better than your dead end job, now is the time to change”
Then it sits back and laughs for weeks as you scrabble around trying to find another job that is not there.

Pork Scratchings
What are pork scratchings really made out of?

This is one answer you, or anyone, really wants to know.

Nodding Birds?
Why do pretty much all small birds nod their head back and forth as they walk. Surely this is a waste of energy they could surely do without?

There heads are attached to their right foot by length of muscle that is slightly shorter then there back bone.

Not so likely
Whatever happened to the likely lads?

The Characters –
Bob Ferris was knocked down and killed by a Milf Float.
Terry Collier was convicted of stealing an electric vehicle full of older but still hot women and knocking down Bob Ferris.
The Actors –
Bewes – Living the high life of drink and drugs in Nuneaton.
Bolam – Gets all the old Geordie parts that Tim Healey does not want.

Terminal Tower
If I jumped off blackpool tower, would I reach my terminal velocity before I hit the ground or would I continue to accelerate all the way to the floor?

Hmm. Well I studied your photo and estimate that your Terminal Velocity to be about 124 mph (56 m/s). A human accelarates at about 9.81 m/s meaning that you would achieve terminal velocity in about 6 seconds. The Blackpool tower is 158 meters.

Doing the math, you will hit the floor at about 5.3 seconds so you will be just short of terminal velocity. All this is based on a standard starfish type jump, if you went bullet style then its all different calculations.

If you have a question for the Professor, send an email to Professor@ObscureInternet.com or post it in the forum.

MySpace Interview – Sylva tha Poet

So, who are you anyway?

Well i am Sylva tha poet, i am a lyricist/songwriter/musician from a small town called Leamington spa in the county of Warwickshire in the west midlands, i work with two other artists called Fayte mc who is also a lyricist, and my main man Visual audio Replicant he is our producer and engineer.

Describe your sound for us.

Erm well we are mainly categorised as Hiphop genre, but our music touches into the realms of Triphop, Electronica, Electro, Metal, Soul, jazz and funk. We utilise analogue and digital synth’s, aswell as using a lot of live instruments in our music also. Our music was once descibed as a mix between Wu tang clan, Prodigy and BB king combined, hahahha.

So you rate yourself then?

I am a student of music, i am always learning i will never find perfection within my music because i strive to make it continuously better, but i think our fan base and hits to my myspace page for example speak for themselves..

Who are your influences?

Influences eh, hmmm, well i could list every artist that ever touched me but i think i would be here for hours, but to cap off a few, i have always been a major fan of the Wu tang, Eric b and Rakim, KRS one, Black moon, Guru, Megadeth, Metallica, James Brown, Ric james, there really is to many to list, but its safe to say our influences are not contained within a list, the world is our main influence as it gives us our topical range, without a reason to express we may as well be silent..

Tell us one of your musical secrets.

One of our musical secrets eh, i think i would have to kill you if i did, but no seriously our secret is to make music that appeals to a multitude, age, creed, sex and intelligence shouldn’t factor within our listener base, as people will always find songs they prefer to others, but the true secret is listening to the fans!!

What’s in the future?

Well we are organising a tour for next yr, but with a twist, we have asked our fans to choose where we play within the country because we want them to be involved in that choice, i think its an interesting experiment really, besides that we have lots of collaborations with other artists in the pipeline for 09, but what may come tomorrow is a secret hidden from all..

What’s your claim to fame?

My claim to fame, hahaha. Not sure if i really have one, i am not in the music for fame, jus respect and recognition, and to spread a positive message to the masses.

Musically, where do you see yourself in 10 years time?

In ten yrs time, shit it doesn;’t bare thinking about, i will be old then haahahaha. No i think we will still be doin our thing, probably on an even bigger scale , but then i cannot predict the future, but i hope it will be a prosperous and challengin one regardless, i enjoy tackling the problems that present themselves throughout this life, its character building to say the least.

Myspace or Facebook?

Myspace is definately the site for me when it comes to music promotion and building a fan base, i try not to get myspace and facebook mixed with each other, as i keep Facebook sacred for stayin in touch with real friends, the people that are real in my life…