The Incredible Child-Nip

Catnip Cat

Hello ladies and gentlemen J.A. Laraque here to tell you about the incredible new product from Spore Co. called Child-Nip.

Friends, have you ever been at the movies on a Saturday night watching a great R-rated film only to have it ruined by some little punk who shouldn’t be there anyway? In the past their mistake in non or misuse of conception prevention was your loss as well, but not anymore.

This handy dandy little spray is no bigger than a can of mace and is your tiny answer to a large child problem. Just a twist of the cap and a press of your finger and little Timmy is off to la-la land for up to sixty, that’s right, sixty minutes.

Now I know you have questions. How does it work? What’s in it and is it legal? Let me answer those questions by telling you that our special spray release uses hidden ninja technology meaning that nobody will ever know what you did. Do not worry, the little terror will not be permanently harmed and the ingredients are all-natural and specifically designed to work only on minors fifteen and under.

Still not convinced, then listen to these testimonials.

Bob K. From Richmond, Virginia writes:

Before Child-Nip I could never go to a movie on opening night, but now I keep a can taped to my wrist for quick release action. I started a website to document how to use Child-Nip without anyone knowing. So far I have Nipped over three hundred and twenty-eight kids. Thanks, Child-Nip.

Child-Nip is also available for parents.

Carol F. From Chicago, Illinois writes:

They say that because you spent the night with the starting lineup for the Chicago Bulls that you deserve what you get, but thanks to Child-Nip the pain is soothed like when I drink or smoke or cut myself. I upgraded to Child-Nips time-release system which you can mount in any room in your house. When the horrors of my drunken mistake get out of hand I send them to the night-night room and give myself an hour break.

Yes friends, Child-Nip is your little miracle to take care of those little bundles of joy. How much would you pay for that? Call in the next thirty minutes and we will double your order and add the time-release kit for no extra charge. So call now and remember: if you get caught, you don’t know us.

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