You don’t get the show #5: Cops need to play Police Trainer


J.A. and Randy figure out how to solve all the problems with the various police departments across the nation, get them playing games like Police Trainer and the FMV version of COPS and only let the best of the best get back on the street.

We also talk about sleep away camp and going away for 6 to 8 weeks at a time with no video games or phones and does that mean your parents regret having you.

Capcom bows to SJW’s again by censoring Cammy’s nipples in Street Fighter V and for the life of us we can’t figure out why.

We learned after the failure of the Super Mario Bros movie, Nintendo purchased the rights to an adult movie parody called Super Hornio Brothers and while on the subject Randy introduced J.A. to the Pokémon adult parody Strokemon and the horribly disturbing Pikachu makeup they made for one of the atresses of the film.

With the release of the Justice League Trailer we had to dive into that and geek out on how awesome it was and wonder if finally, DC will give Marvel a run in the comic book movie business and finally, we talked about the loyalty reward fiasco going on with Star Trek Online and asked the question what would be a good way to reward a loyal fan base.

Star Trek Online to go Free to Play this year

star-trek-online

If this wasn’t a trend before it is now. Cryptic Studios announced that Star Trek Online will be going free to play later this year and players will be able to download and play the game at no cost.

As expected there will be additional features that you can pay for by accessing a virtual store. In addition, there will still be full or gold membership for existing members or you can pay $14.99 for gold membership.

You can see the differences between gold and silver membership here – http://www.startrekonline.com/f2p 

“In addition to seeking out new life and exploring strange new civilizations, part of our continuing mission for Star Trek Online is to expand and improve,” said Jack Emmert, CEO, Cryptic Studios. “Transitioning to a free-to-play model is a natural way to share all we’ve built with a broader community of players and we couldn’t be more excited.”

Star Trek Online free-to-play allows players to get into the game and engage the Star Trek universe in a number of ways:

The Universe is Your Only Limit – Play as much as you like for as long as you like at no cost. No subscription is required, nor is payment of any kind required.

Episodic Gameplay – Experience new weekly episodes that feature story-based gameplay and put your captain’s ability to command to the ultimate test.

Your Captain, Your Crew, Your Destiny – Become a captain, seek out new life and new civilizations and encounter hostile beings as you advance to maximum level for free.

Familiar Places, New Experiences – Travel to Starfleet Academy, Deep Space Nine, The First City of Qo’noS and many other iconic locations and notable worlds from the beloved Star Trek universe.

Engage and Explore Your Way – A web and in-game virtual goods store provides players the option of purchasing gameplay upgrades or additional premium content as they like, when they like.

Taking place in the year 2409, Star Trek Online boasts extraordinary features and lets fans both new and old experience unparalleled adventures within the Star Trek universe. Players have the opportunity to become high-ranking Starfleet officers and participate in missions structured like episodes that take them into the depths of space, across exotic planets and inside other starships. All players are invited to explore strange new worlds and encounter new life in a vast, ever expanding universe!

For more information visit their official website.

Cryptic Studio Has Moved On But Have Their Games?: Star Trek Edition


For those of you eagerly waiting for this review after the sudden ending of the previous portion of this two-part article, I apologize. I wasn’t having problems with time or just pure laziness. No, I had problems with how to word my feelings towards Star Trek Online and how best to give an honest review without completely belittling the game. I know, I know. You’re used to that kind of response from me but I decided to be a bit more delicate with how I explain the faults and pluses of STO.

So here goes…

It is laughable to think that Cryptic Studios thinks of STO as an MMORPG. While all the big boys in the room strut their stuff with content, gameplay, character growth, and easily defined instructions, Star Trek Online stumbles and fumbles around the room like a drunk teenage girl at a frat party. At the end of the night, the only ones with a grin on their faces are the real MMOs while STO is dabbing off semen from its face with wet naps.


Wow… I feel uncomfortable reading this. I’m going to just-

What could possess me to attack Star Trek Online in such an unrelenting manner? Is it because I could barely give the game a shot beyond level 4? Yes, it is! I got to level 11 in FF XIV and that game is the equivalent of dining on Indian food , beautiful to look at but horrible to digest. I have never been unable to hit at least level 10 in an MMORPG but Star Trek Online managed to prove me wrong.

That sounds horrible, Mr. Khan! Why was it so god awful?

That’s an easy question to answer, Little Timmy. The game’s initial tutorial manages to be not only fast paced but slow at the same time. There’s a ton of jargon thrown around that doesn’t make sense to begin with and there isn’t much of an explanation as to what any of it means. All I got from the tutorial was that I could shoot lasers and photon torpedoes when I’m in my ship and when I’m on a ground mission I can shoot laser beams and “backstab” the enemy when I attack from their blindside. There really isn’t a clear definition in the beginning what role your class plays or what kind of ships you are able to command. I was certain I was limited to Science Ships since I chose the Scientist profession but I later found out from a friend that I could pilot any ship. Oh, that’s fucking fantastic to know.


For those of you who enjoy looking at your character and face stomping the enemy while adoring how badass you made your Vulcan or Custom Alien, sorry to disappoint but the game is lacking in ground missions and you are spending most of your time viewing the ass tail of your ship. How engrossing! Yes, you can customize your ship but the differences aren’t that vast aside from size. The ship customization is as in-depth as the shape variations presented in a Lego Kit. Everything is a block except some are half a blocks! Whoop-dee-fucking-doo!

From a game with such an absorbing avatar customization, it’s a shame that you spend your time running slow naval circles around enemy space bandits. As far as I could grasp the tactic was to go half speed and adjust your acceleration and deceleration to complete this amazingly slow circle strafe around your enemy to knock out their shields and ass fuck them with photon torpedoes. Combat got repetitive quickly.

The game’s missions were probably the most bland I’ve ever seen in an MMO post 2006. “What was that, Ensign? There’s no one in the quadrant? I guess everything is… Oh my god! Space Bandits out of fucking nowhere!” That was as in depth as the missions got at level 4. They didn’t want to showcase more early on maybe because there wasn’t anything left to show.

The ground missions were probably the worst part about leveling. I should be excited to see my captain running about shooting bitches in the face and parachuting off planet sized drills like in the movie, right? Too bad! I was limited to picking up resources on a planet and randomly getting jumped by “Unknown villain #3” and then transporting back to the ship. Oh wait, I forgot. There were more options. I was able to go to a mining site to speak with a couple of diggers to see how they felt about their jobs and report back to their manager. Yup! They called in the space fleets special forces to settle a dispute about a broken holodeck in the break room.

"Come on, Team! Lets pick up some rocks!"

Now, I understand I have been harsh on the game and there is a reason for that. If STO were a free to play MMORPG, I would dress it with every accolade known in the universe. A free to play space RPG? Sign me up! Let me have fleeting moments of fun!

Unfortunately, the game isn’t F2P. It’s Pay to Play and it’s $15 a fucking month. This game has a huge pair of balls to even consider charging people. Cryptic was fortunate enough that people even purchased fucking the game. It has the depth of a game developed for a smart phone.

STO lacks the environment, quests, gameplay, and depth of games like World of Warcraft, Everquest 2, and even City of Heroes. Quite a bold statement coming from a level 4 Lieutenant, right? That’s why I’m not saying for people to keep away from this game. Play it if you like, it’s your money. I personally don’t see the justification of this game being $15 a month. You’d probably find more fun in Runescape for a cheaper price.

Perfect Worlds purchased this title when they acquired Cryptic Studios. What potential they see in this hunk of shit I will never know. The game is an MMO-abomination and is better served on a free to play model or simply a box sale model like Guild Wars. Then and maybe then it would be worth the time it takes to patch and login. Until that unlikely day comes about, STO will remain uninstalled and far, far away from my computer.

Cryptic Studios Has Moved On But Have Their Games?


For those of you in the dark about the current state of Cryptic Studios, the group that created mega super hero sensation titles like City of Heroes and… that’s it, their sugar daddy decided it was time for a split. Apparently MMO’s cost a lot of money to produce and maintain and ones that fail to meet an expected revenue end up emptying the wallets of publishers. Cryptic Studios made two games that fell short of those expectations. One, Champions Online, fell flat on its face while another, Star Trek Online, didn’t have the staying power to hold subscriptions before another mass MMO exodus ate the expensive IP dry. Sure they have a healthy population for the amount of content they offer but it is not enough to earn back the losses suffered by Atari, the previously mentioned sugar daddy.

What does Atari do now? They decided continue to maintain Cryptic Studios projects while they put up a professional Craigslist ad for someone to buy them. Who went to grab them? Perfect Worlds did! Yes, Perfect Fucking Worlds! Not knocking the company that released amazing games like Torchlight and… that’s it, but this move shows how the company is beginning to make strides into the US online gaming market.

So, did Perfect Worlds make a worthwhile purchase? I decided to suffer the pain of what could possibly be the equivalent of removing my arm with a blunt saw to find out so you don’t have to!

First up, I decided to try out Champions Online. Awhile back I did play Champions Online when it was in Beta and then during release and I wasn’t exactly satisfied with the flow of the game and the cluster fuck of their free form power system. Was I going to suffer the same kind of fate?

No, I did not! Champions Online has made some great improvements to help with the disaster of their free form system. First of all, with their free to play model you can’t go with the free form system and are limited with a couple of premade archetypes that have to fill out a certain role. Why is this a positive thing? Before, everyone just made whatever they wanted and just blew everything up. There were barely any real tanks or healers and it promoted uber recommended builds rather than true individuality. With its current archetype system, you get some diversity but not full free reign.

As for content, the game originally released by throwing you into a city wide disaster during a Qularr invasion, handing you a key to the city, and then shipping you the fuck off to a desert or to the Canadian Wilderness. Nothing makes a hero feel more welcomed to the world than being kicked out of the city and immediately transported off to regions they have no interest in. Now after 3(?) content packs and a revamped quest line where you start your adventures in the city for a good amount of time before being sent away, the game has everything you might want to find in a super hero MMO.

With so many costume customization options for your characters, a decent trade skill system, and powers and goods that can be purchased from the C-Store, the game really excels when it comes to being free and a pay to play.

Is it really worth it as a viable free to play model? Definitely! With heavy customization, a decent amount of content that can be expanded through the C-Store marketplace it runs on a great free to play model with an amazing community that will keep you there for a decent month or two.

Now is the game worth $15 a month? I would say yes! With all the features previously mentioned topped with a great community, someone who is active with the players they game with will find Champions Online engrossing enough to stick around for a month or two as well.

End of part 1. Part 2 to conclude with Star Trek Online.

Free to Play. If You’re Going to Fail, Get Better At Failing.

Everquest 2 F2P lol
Everquest 2 F2P lol

For the past six years, MMORPGs have been failing. Be it because the companies believe releasing beta quality games, far-fetched mechanics, or releasing a game that has the savory indulgence of a stale piece of bread, the genre has seen some gloomy days. World of Warcraft has created a boom for many money hungry companies and jaded developers that think releasing a game in this genre will garner them fame and money. Unfortunately, this hasn’t been the case and nothing has been able to compete at the level that Blizzard is currently at.

Let’s face it. Very few MMORPGs have had amazing launches and it is because of this lack luster grand opening that a lot of people just get turned away. How can these companies salvage their investment? How can they bring in money to a sinking ship? How can they increase their gaming audience?

The answer lies to the Far East. It is in this land of Zerg obsessed gamers and mob-grinding gurus that holds the key to America’s salvation in the MMO Market. Asia has been using a model known to many as Free to Play for a very long time. Players are allowed to download the game from a website and jump right in. Sure, there are some restrictions that hold them back from unlocking the full potential of the game but it is a better option than a 14 day free trial.

“But Umar”, you may find yourself pondering, “I know Asia is known for crazy people but this sounds insane! How do the Crazians make their money?!”

Very simple, Little Billy. Crazian MMO Developers make their money from an in-game market place where players can unlock classes, races, potions, cosmetics, and content for real life money. While not every player’s going to feed cash to companies for a game they play for free, they do garner in more money than $15 a month. Some players are so into power gaming and/or cosmetics that they’ll easily throw down more than $15 a month in purchases via this market place without even thinking it through.

Why adopt this model though? The answer is simply because it seems to actually work.

Turbine’s Dungeons and Dragons Online was far from being considered a true MMORPG by many of today’s standards and it was on the brink of extinction. However, unlike the dodo bird, DnD Online was not ready to leave this world. In one last hurrah, it released a Free to Play model and quickly flourished. The game’s income reportedly jumped by double and it felt a chance to thrive. Life began to ebb back into this would be abortion and deliver it salvation.

To follow suit, many MMORPGs began to jump onto the bandwagon. Lord of the Rings Online, while not a failure by many aspects, saw a chance to increase its player base with this new subscription model. It held back many features to free players but the market place allowed them to expand further into the world.

Around the same time LOTRO adopted the model, Everquest 2 wet its feet in the F2P world with Everquest 2 Extended, which included 8 classes, 4 races, 80 levels, and 5 expansions for free.

Now, companies like Cryptic, probably persuaded by Atari, are hitting the F2P model to save their abortion known as Champions Online and also the acclaimed Star Trek Online. Some may know my dislike for Cryptic in general and I don’t want to bore anyone with my vendetta but these games were Free to Play quality on release and never should have been Pay to Play, but I digress. They are now hitting the high road and going F2P.

Those seem to be some of the bigger MMOs released in the past couple of years that really need this chance to boost their communities. One MMO that I am waiting to take the dive into this model is Warhammer Online. The game has been a downward spiral since release and while I doubt EA even cares about the game still (they have been systematically dismembering Mythic) a F2P model for WAR might be able to save it from its dying breath.

Sadly, though, some MMORPGs that haven’t even had a year to fix their abominations are already looking to hit the F2P market as well. Yes, I’m talking about Final Fantasy XIV. It has been reported that they are currently seeking a chance to hit into this model to save their plummeting shares and overall consumer backlash.

I know a lot of people have mixed feelings about this model and some find it “greedy” that companies are willing to push out virtual stores but I don’t find a problem with this at all. Most of these games offer a chance to unlock the full game for the standard $15 a month and no one is forcing you to purchase anything from the marketplace to begin with. Most of the items these games offer aren’t game changing and aren’t required to excel in the game so there is no reason for some of the criticism. However, regardless of whether it is a good model or not there will always be people who will complain.

The Free to Play opportunity that has raged through the past two years seems to be giving players many chances to see more of what is out there than WoW. While it is good for companies to regain their money and enlarge their player base, it also gives players a chance to expand their horizons onto what is out there without feeling guilty for dropping 40-50 dollars on a game that could be releasing in beta quality.

How do you feel about the Free to Play model many MMORPG’s seem to be taking? Would you like to see future games continuing with this setup and if not, why?

Star Trek Online Free Trial Weekend

Star Trek Online Box
Star Trek Online Box

Star Trek Online Free Trial Weekend

For those of you who used to play Star Trek Online and left it, so long as you played it before and have an account, they are allowing you to login this weekend for free to play and check out new game content.

Click here to see the information regarding the free trial.

Star Trek Online – To Bridge or not to Bridge

Games Star Trek Online
Games Star Trek Online

So over the holiday I was able not only to get a down to earth review of the game from a friend in beta, but I was also able to see and play the game myself. As with any franchise turned into a game there are things missing or things ones want. While I will admit to being a long time fan of Star Trek I am not the kind who will just whine and moan over minor changes or differences. With that said there were quite a few things that irked me about STO from the start.

One thing that upset me the most was the lack of a bridge. To me, sitting on your bridge and commanding your ship is one of the main parts of Star Trek. When I was first told that you could only view your ship from the outside I was quite upset because I remember the classic game called Bridge Commander.

In Bridge Commander you could view your ship from the outside or from the captain’s chair where you could interact with your crew. You had a number of on screen options to choose from and it truly gave you the feeling of commanding a ship.

So far, in STO the space part of the game is completely external to your ship giving it more of an Eve Online feel. Originally there was to be no bridge at all in the game, but in mid November Cryptic announced that bridges would be added. In a press release they wrote:

It appears Cryptic has decided to add the infamous setting to STO for players to enjoy as a social destination — a hang out for bridge officers and visiting captains from other vessels. The Associated Press has reported that the game will feature 20 bridges at launch, giving even the most discerning captains their own pick on bridge design.

Regarding the addition of bridges, Craig Zinkievich, the executive producer of Star Trek Online, told the AP, “We didn’t want to have interiors at launch. We thought it was just a little bit too much. We really wanted to make sure we delivered a really deep experience, but your bridge not being in the game, it really felt like a hole in the game, and it was just something that we had to put in.”

A hole is right, but my question is, is adding a bridge only as a social hangout zone enough? Is the bridge of your ship to become nothing more than a Pocket D? (Dance club in City of Heroes) I can appreciate that Cryptic is adding bridges, but the bridge isn’t a social club. Perhaps a meet and greet, but you don’t have a ton of people lounging on your bridge.

Personally I hoped for the Bridge Commander style of game-play for the space battles in STO, but for now it looks like I will have to settle with decorating my bridge with plaques and starship models to make it all pretty for my friends. Damn I just whined and moaned about a little thing.

Star Trek Online: Expanding Universe Part 1 Trailer

Star Trek Online
Star Trek Online

Shields up, prepare for the first content update for Star Trek Online titled: Season One – Common Ground. Team Cryptic has released a trailer titled: Expanding universe and we have it on The Obsolete Gamer YouTube Page. Check out STO’s trailer titled: Expanding Universe.

So here is some info on what’s coming with the content patch:

PVP Updates

 

  • Wargames – Federation players can now participate in PvP against one another to better prepare for the dangers of the battlefield.
  • New PvP Map – Explore “Shanty Town,” a brand new Ground Assault map available for both Klingon and Federation players.

Customization

 

  • Off-Duty Uniforms – Experience DS9 in style! Starfleet officers will have the option to change into off-duty outfits to enjoy more casual attire.
  • New Stances and Hairstyles – Further customize your Captain by changing his or her hairstyle, or adopting two brand new stances: Stern and Relaxed.
  • The Captain’s Log – A web-based application to check in on you and your friends’ Captains and ships.

Ships

 

  • A New Klingon Battle Cruiser – The K’Tanco Battle Cruiser has been made available to Klingon Lieutenant Commanders.
  • Klingon Ship Customization – Use the ship tailor to customize your Bird of Prey, Carrier or Raptor.

Missions

 

  • New Fleet Actions Everywhere!
  • The Big Dig – Available in Romulan space.
  • DS9 Under Siege – The True Way has attacked and boarded DS9. Repel the invasion to save the day.
  • Klingons Can Play, Too – Klingon Captains may now access the Crystalline Entity, Big Dig and Breaking the Planet Fleet Actions

Skills

 

  • Respec Is Here – Unhappy with your Captain’s skill point allocation? Use the respec tool to change things up. (Available both in-game and as a C-store item.)
  • New Skill: Starship Attack Vectors – Improve your ship’s accuracy and critical hit chance.
  • New Skill: Combat Maneuvers – Improve your ship’s evasion and turn rate.
  • New Skill: Starship Battle Strategy – Improve your ship’s critical hit severity and damage resistance.

In The C-Store

 

  • New Bridge Variants – All new ways to update your Bridges’ look, available for a low price in the C-Store for both Federation and Klingon ships.
  • Federation Ship Variants – New takes on your old favorites, available for a low price in the C-Store.
  • Respec – Unhappy with your Captain’s skill point allocation? Use the respec tool to change things up.
  • Character Slot – Purchase an additional character slot if you’d like to have more than three characters on your account.
  • Rename – Changed your mind about the cool name you chose? Get it legally changed! Recognized across the Alpha Quadrant.
  • New Federation Playable Species – Become a Tellarite, Pakled or Rigelian.

Star Trek Online: New Klingon Content forthcoming

Star Trek Online Klingon
Star Trek Online Klingon

STO is several days post release, but that doesn’t mean the fans cries for more Klingon content have gone unheard. As you may or may not know Klingon gameplay revolves around PVP, however, fans have submitted requests to Cryptic Studios to add more PvE quests for the faction.

In an interview with IncGamers, Star Trek Online’s executive producer Craig Zinkievich stated;

“Klingons will soon receive a new Star Cluster to explore as well as a brand new Fleet Action, with much more to come.”

There has been no timeline for release of this new content, but we expect it won’t be long. As more information becomes available we will keep you posted.