obsolete gamer

Humor

The Lion, The Witch, and The Mouth Breather

Mendoza has one issue or another which causes him to have a problem breathing. Be it a stuffy nose, obesity, respiratory issues, or he just breathes like an ogre, Mendoza feels the need to place his mic either on the rimming of his booger-encrusted nose or gently caressing his upper lip area. He knows Push-To-Talk is there but he feels it is a priority that you hear what he has to say amidst all of his wheezing. All you will hear is his deep, pedophiliac breathing on your ear for moments at a time until he finally says something that is blatantly obvious to all parties involved in the situation. It isn’t even enough that he quietly lingers just to blurt these sudden non-issue comments but his voice output exceeds any safety regulation the Lord has put forth for your ears to survive and endure. One night with Mouth Breathing Mendoza and you leave feeling violated with a stream of blood dripping from your damaged ear drums.

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Blog

NBA Showdown

The playoffs are in full swing, but the next showdown is already upon us. With EA renaming its basketball franchise to NBA Elite and 2K getting Michael Jordan as a playable character in their game, the question is, which one will you be playing?

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Editorials

My video game Christmas Story

Seven stores later with no NES in sight I just wanted to go home and quit. I felt Christmas was ruined and didn’t even want to celebrate it anymore. Nothing my mom said or did make me feel any better. I had laid down in the backseat of the car when it came to a stop. I knew we couldn’t have arrived home yet.

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Editorials

I proposed by hacking Chrono Trigger

…some might feel doing something like this is stupid or nerdy, well its nerdy, but not stupid at all. We have all kinds of strange proposals, strange to us, but not to the people involved. With shows like Bride Wars and Bridezilla I think finding two people who love video games get together in a video game is fitting. Besides, dude she plays Chrono trigger, she’s a keeper!

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