Ode to the Angry Sun

Angry Sun Super Mario Bros
Angry Sun Super Mario Bros

Everyone loves the angry sun from Super Mario 3 and so I give you my Ode to the Angry Sun.

Memories of the Angry Sun by Neslug
Memories of the Angry Sun by Neslug

Memories of the Angry Sun by ~Neslug

Ode to the Angry Sun – By J.A. Laraque

Shining so bright in the desert sky

Your face so pissed off it would make children cry

Not a mind did I pay you until you moved fast

Now I run for my life less you burn my ass

Hot, hot I scream out with you in pursuit

Mushroom kingdom for some sun screen, a fire hose or a boot

Alas fleeing is useless, I must turn and fight

But how does one beat the sun with its fire and might

Quickly I must find a means to attack

Something that is such to give that sun a smack

Koopa, my enemy will lend me his shell

Now I can send this angry sun straight down to hell

With a mighty kick the shell sores toward the sky

Sure was my aim, a direct bull’s-eye

Down went the sun falling far in the horizon

But I am no fool and realize soon the sun would be rising

With the upmost haste I reach the end of the level

Safe, I wipe the sweat from my brow hoping to never again see that sun devil

Killing the Sun by – epyonblitz

P.S. If love Mario vs, The Sun you have to go over to New Grounds and watch the flash animation of Mario vs. Angry Sun by Mr.WeirdGuy.

My Favorite Ventrilo Harassments

The Internet and Real Life are two different things
The Internet and Real Life are two different things

My Favorite Ventrilo Harassments by Honorabili

Need a good laugh? Check out these videos to show clever pranks done on fellow & noob gamers by the Ventrilo Harassment experts!

I love a good prank as some of my favorite victims already know… Onto the videos!

Ventrilo Harassment – Tina & The WoW Nerds

The girl sounds so cute…

…but sometimes stupid at the same time. So many great lines such as “Thank God she’s gone so now I don’t have to talk in a deep voice.”

Ventrilo Harassment – Chris Hansen 2

You might not be able to control your “horny level” …

…but it is terrible sexy.

Ventrilo Harassment – Duke Nukem Style

“I’ve got balls of steel!”

The best is how the lady just complete snaps! “I don’t think your mother’s very happy about it!” The classic: “I’ll kill you OLD STYLE!”

Ventrilo Harassment – Peggy Forever

In fact, the mom comes back as a ghost to forever haunt Ventrilo Harassment victims. 😀

“Um, Ma’am! This is my vent server.”

Ventrilo Harassment – The Girl

“There’s a girl on our vent server.”

“It may be against the rules to mute a chick.”

Ventrilo Harassment – World Of Warcraft Nerd

“4 Strength, 4 Stam Leather Belt!”

“It sounds just like Joe! (angry) No, it’s not!!”

Ventrilo Harassment – World Of Warcraft Nerd 3

What this kid says kills me…

Kids say the craziest things. “Dude, my mom got me this new game.”

Ventertainment – 1337 haxz0rz

“I got this kid’s credit card info. LUL!”

“I got his IP!” “I got this kids LUL!”

Ventrilo Harassment – Your Mother

Of course, we need to have one with Arnold.

I like it when at least they play along.

Ventrilo Harassment – You Banned The Wrong Person!

Of course, it’s easy to get confused especially when being pranked by one of the experts…

Like in this one where they punished the innocent. 😀

Ventertainment – Nerds of Confusion

“That’d be fucking hot!”

I like how one of the players thought he was hearing things from drinking too much. 😀

Ventertainment – Nerd Confusion 2: Awesome Edition

Funny how nerdy people sound sometimes and to have to hear that crap over and over…

So whiny!

Ventertainment – Nerd Confusion 3: The Ring

This one is probably one of the funniest ones because they have no freaking clue as to what’s going on. They just keep having fun with it though and that makes it great!

Their explanations are epic, such as getting feedback from outer space, aliens, etc. Good fun!

Ventertainment – Mad As Hell

So great that they used the best lines from Network, which these kids have never seen…

“You’ve got to get mad!” The ending is so great!

Ventertainment – Halloween 3

The use of music and slowed down voices is great in this one!

The girl gets so scared by her own voice. Ah yes!

Ventertainment – Sticky Keys

I love how people just keep thinking stuff crashes without getting any messages and other people trying to provide shitty tech support.

“It keeps saying *DUN DUN DUN DAH*”

Ventertainment – Bubb Rubb

Love the noobs…

“The whistle goes WOO WOO!”

***

Well kids, that’s enough bullshit for today! Enjoy, laugh, be merry, keep gaming, and get pranked!

Dead Alewives Summoner D&D skit

So it’s friday, time to unwind and make the good old brain melt.~Honorabili

Dead Alewives Summoner D&D skit

Good chance is that if you’re an old gamer like us you grew up both playing video games and a ton of old pen & paper RPGs. So much braindead shit happens when playing RPGs usually. Dead Alewives made a skit which catches the spirit of that stupidity.

Summoner Dead Ale Wives DM
Summoner Dead Ale Wives DM

Here is my transcript of this heresy!

DM – “Galstaff, you have entered the door to the North. You are now by yourself, standing in a dark room. The pungent smell of mildew eminates from the wet dungeon walls.”

Fridge Raider – “Where are the Cheetos?”

DM – “They’re right next to you!”

Galstaff – “I cast a spell!”

Fridge Raider – “Where’s the Mountain Dew?”

DM – “In the fridge, DUH!”

Galstaff – “I wanna cast a spell!”

Fridge Raider – “Can I Mountain Dew?”

DM – “YES! You can have a Mountain Dew, just go get it!”

Galstaff – “I can cast any of these, right? On the list?”

DM – “Yes, any of the first level ones.”

Fridge Raider – “I’m gonna get a soda, anyone want one? Hey Grimm, I’m not in the room, right?”

DM – “What room??”

Galstaff – “I wanna cast ‘magic missile…'”

Fridge Raider – “The room where he’s casting all these spells from.”

DM – “He hasnt’ cast anything yet!”

Galstaff – “I am though, if you’d listen. I’m casting ‘magic missile!'”

DM – “Why are you ‘magic missile’? There’s nothing to attack here.”

Galstaff – “I… I’m attacking The Darkness!!”

(all laugh)

DM – “Fine! Fine! You attack ‘The Darkness’. There’s an elf in front of you.”

Galstaff – “Woah!”

Blue Eyes – “That’s me, right?”

DM – “He’s wearing a brown tunic and he has grey hair and blue eyes.”

Blue Eyes – “No I don’t, I have grey eyes.”

DM – “Let me see that sheet.”

Blue Eyes – “Well, it says I have blue but I decided I wanted grey eyes!”

DM – “Whatever! Okay, you guys can talk to each other now if you want.”

(silence)

Galstaff – “Hello.”

Grey Eyes – “Hello.”

Galstaff – “I am Galstaff, Sorceror of Light.”

Grey Eyes – “Then how come you had to cast ‘magic missile’?”

(laughs)

DM – “You guys are being attacked.”

Fridge Raider – “Do I see this happening?”

DM – “NO! You’re outside by the tavern!”

Fridge Raider – “Cool! I get drunk!”

DM (sighs) – “There are 7 ogres surrounding you.”

Galstaff – “How can they surround us? I had ‘Mordencaiden’s magical watchdog’ cast.”

DM – “No, you didn’t!”

Fridge Raider – “I’m getting drunk! Are there any girls there?”

Galstaff (angry) – “I totally did! You asked me if I wanted any equipment before this adventure and I said no but I need material components for all my spells so I cast ‘Mordencaiden’s faithful watchdog’.”

DM – “But you never actually cast it.”

Fridge Raider – “Roll the dice to see if I’m getting drunk!”

DM (sighs and rolls rice) – “Yeah! You are!”

Fridge Raider – “Are there any girls there?”

DM (annoyed) – “Yeah!”

Galstaff – “I did though! I completely said when you asked me.”

DM (more annoyed) – “No, you didn’t! You didn’t actually say that you were casting the spells so now there’s ogres, okay?!”

Fridge Raider – “Ogres?! Man, I got an ogre-slaying knife! It’s got a +9 against ogres!”

DM (angry) – “You’re not there! You’re getting drunk!”

Fridge Raider – “Okay but if there’s any girls there, I want to jolt/choke them!”

***

There you have it. That was the easter egg you get when you beat Summoner, making fun of Dungeons and Dragons (Satan’s Game!) and it’s typical players. My friends and I used to quote lines from that for years.

It was made by the Dead Alewives which are an 80s-90s comedy troupe. Click here to find out more about them.

Free Stuff – Zombo.com, where you can do anything

You can do anything at Zombo.com!
You can do anything at Zombo.com

Free Stuff – Zombo.com, where you can do anything

Would you like to do anything? Wait… you don’t know zombo.com?!!!

Whether it be global domination, baking a cake, shooting lasers, training hookers, etc. zombo.com let’s you do it all. True story!

What are you waiting for?! Click here to go to zombo.com!

Chris Taylor is NUTS

Chris Taylor talking to his chicken
Chris Taylor talking to his chicken

Chris Taylor is NUTS

No… seriously.

Game development is like raising chickens.

Chris and I were chatting last night about hookers, pr0n, Back to the Future, killing braincells…

I’m surprised the facebook thought police didn’t arrest us.

Nut contamination is not an issue at Gas Powered Games.

No workers are safe.

Melee combat is a hobby.

Just some crazy shit for you to think about every time you fire up any Gas Power games like Supreme Commander, Total Annihilation, etc.

Chris is our hero.

Keep checking up on his insanity at the Gas Power Games youtube channel here.

Why did she Kick My Ass at Fighting Games?

His name was Erwin and he played with Orchid and was able to pull off a combo from the start of the match and chain it into a finisher so you did not get in one single hit. He taught me that trick in exchange for six bags of Skittles, a Mars bar and my limited edition Cobra Commander with cloth mask.~J.A. Laraque

Why did she Kick My Ass at Fighting Games?

One day when I was a teenager I decided to invite my sister to play some fighting games with me. She was totally not a gamer, hell she didn’t even know how to turn on my SNES. I don’t know why I asked her to play, the last time I got her to try a game was Final Fantasy and she just looked at the screen, then to me and said; “So this is why you don’t have a girlfriend.”

Gamer Girl

Maybe I wanted revenge on her for scaring my ass a child making me believe there were ghosts that shook the house never telling me it was the subway underneath. Perhaps I was bored because my friends were out living life and I was trying to master every finisher in Mortal Kombat.

Mass Shrinkage

So I popped in Street Fighter 2 for the SNES, I figured the first thing I would do was show her who is boss. I had marathon seasons with my friend John who could beat the game on hard with the controller behind his back. (He did this and yet had a girlfriend). He would play Ryu and I would play Ken and thanks to his skills I could kick almost anyone’s ass.

Gamer Girl anime

My sister picked Chung Li because she was a girl and was “pretty”. She didn’t even ask what button did what, but I decided to give her a few moments to get used to the game. After a moment I jumped in expecting to finish her off pretty quickly, and then something weird happened.

I couldn’t lay a hit on her. She was just mashing the buttons and somehow she was kicking my butt. You should have seen her face; she looked like she was wrestling with a rat in her hands. She was blinking wildly and sweating. Even worst she would turn her whole body with the controller as if that helped her. All this and she owned me.

Oh Hell No!

We had about ten matches before I had to take a break to get some air (and to cry). I did get close; she had 10% health and somehow beat me. I could not believe it, 10 and 0, her win. I had to get my balls back so I loaded up the Sega Genesis and popped in Mortal Kombat.

beaten by a girl

MK2 was my game. I played in the arcades and was taught every combo and finisher from this guy who claimed his dad had worked on the coding for the game. I knew every in and out and I was determined to make my sister pay for what she did to me. If I ever hoped to get laid I had to beat my sis at video games. Yes, I see now my logic was flawed.

I picked Scorpion and again my sister went with a girl, Sonya Blade. My sister told me Sonya was a nice name; she nicely kicked my ass again. Don’t get me wrong, with MK 2 I won some matches, but in the end she won more. She even pulled off a finisher and she never played before or even saw the movie!

At this point I was her bitch and had one more game to try.

Balls, missing

Killer Instinct was recently released for the N64 and I had been trained in it by the master. His name was Erwin and he played with Orchid and was able to pull off a combo from the start of the match and chain it into a finisher so you did not get in one single hit. He taught me that trick in exchange for six bags of Skittles, a Mars bar and my limited edition Cobra Commander with cloth mask.

My sister thought the game was very pretty when I loaded it up and to her surprise I picked the girl. My sister was upset, but then smiled when she realized she could also pick Orchid. It was to be sweet revenge because I would beat her with a girl character.

hot girl gamer

It started off well enough. Again, she knew nothing of the game and didn’t ask for instructions. I had her half health when out of nowhere she pulled off a combo breaker. I felt my scrotum shatter as she pulled off her own combo and somehow killed me. I just sat there, my mouth gaping, I couldn’t believe it.

I only played her that one time. I got up without saying a word and left. I think I walked six miles before I feel to my knees embracing the defeat. At that time everything I was evolved gaming and my noob sister owned me in three different fighting games I was a pro at.

You took my balls and I’m going home!

I didn’t play any games for the next few weeks. I started to go out more and play basketball and even met a girl. It didn’t work out, but hey it was a start. In the end my sister helped to break the addition to games. I still played a lot more than a normal kid, but it did get me to realize that what’s important is moderation because if you sister can kick your ass then you might as well not take the game so seriously.

Girl Gamer FPS

I also had an effect on my sister. She got into video games though her type was adventure or horror like Resident Evil and Silent Hill. To no surprise she was very good at those games as well.

I never learned why my sister had a natural ability to own me. I never saw her play anyone else so I don’t know if it was just me or something else. Either way I learned something that day; girls can play games and lay the smackdown on you too. Later in life I made sure to get my girlfriends into games, sometimes they beat me, but in the end I always came out on top. (Lol’s sex joke for the win!)