Hitler Doesn’t Like Google+ Search Integration

google plus integration hitler meme

Google is now modifying your search results based on what you and your friends do on Google+. Pretty much this will no longer give you search results based on what’s relevant but more based on whoever spams links on Google+ the most. Hopefully this will just be limited to your friends and not super spammers that hammer Google+ and other social networking and social bookmarking websites all day long. Not only that but it seems that Twitter and Facebook links will be omitted. They are calling all this Google Search Plus Your World.

In its war against Facebook, Google might ruin more of its image by being less of an impartial search engine. Well it’s already not impartial because if you dump a lot of money on adwords your sponsored links can get you top spots on page 1 but that’s just business.

Now that we got the serious part out of the way, let’s see what Hitler has to say about this.

If Hitler and his advisors are right, then Google will start filtering its search even more and that might make people stop using it more.

Here’s a transcript from this hilarious video:

Advisor: “Yesterday Google rolled out a deep integration of Google+ into its search results”
Advisor: “Now when you search, you get results from your Google+ network blended into organic results”
Advisor: “It has royally pissed off Danny Sullivan…”
Advisor: “…and MG Siegler went batshit on his Tumblr”
Hitler: “He’s just trolling for page views…”
Hitler: “He and Arrington are starting a new TechCrunch”
Advisor: “Mein Fuhrer…”
Advisor: “Twitter…”
Advisor: “…Twitter and Facebook are not included in the results”
Advisor: “Now when you search ‘Britney Spears’ you don’t get her Facebook Page”
Hitler: “If you haven’t done a Hangout with Scoble, Vic Gundotra or Ashton Kutcher…”
Hitler: “…leave the room”
Hitler: “What the fuck is ‘Search Plus Your World’?!”
Hitler: “Who came up with that ridiculous name?!”
Hitler: “I bet it was Sergey!”
Hitler: “What the fuck does that guy do that Google anyhow?”
Hitler: “Play Angry Fucking Birds all day?”
Hitler: “I bet I could kick his ass in Cut The Rope!”
Hitler: “Angry Birds is so played out.”
Hitler: “If I see one more kid with one of those god damned Angry Birds hats…”
Hitler: “…I’ll pop a cap in his pig-bombing ass!”
Advisor: “MG Siegler says Search Plus is AntiTrust+”
Hitler: “What do you expect from a monopoly? They are trying to screw Twitter…”
Advisor: “Google said Twitter walked away…”
Hitler: “Did you really think Larry Page was going to let Twitter and Facebook shit all over his front yard?”
Hitler: “Fuck the full Firehose”
Hitler: “Larry knows that Google+ was too late to the social network game”
Hitler: “Sure they let you share animated gifs but how many times did I need to see that fucking squid?”
Hitler: “Now they’re just forcing Google+ down our throats”
Hitler: “Every time I search for something, now I’m going to get some Tom Anderson philosophical bullshit”
Hitler: “Why did he become interesting only after Myspace choked?”
Hitler: “I’ve posted photos of my favorite sunsets on Google+, cat pictures, Hitler videos…”
Hitler: “…and nothing ever happens”
Hitler: “My fucking Klout score is down again today”
Hitler: “I thought if I got in early on Google+ I could kick social media ass”
Hitler: “Now with Search Plus Your World…”
Hitler: “…Google+ is going to be overrun with spammers trying to be your friend so they can rank for STD clinic searches”
Hitler: “Now I’m going to have to get rid of all those Circles I spent so much time building up…”
Hitler: “…just so they don’t pollute my SERPs with useless social crap”
Hitler: “Of course this just points out how monopolistic Facebook is before the IPO…”
Hitler: “Mark Zuckerberg is probably smothering someone with his hoodie right now”
Girl: “Helga, that picture of you from that frat party is on your Timeline”
Hitler: “Matt Cutts is probably saying it’s good for users”
Hitler: “All of the social media douches are probably saying this is going to kill SEO”
Hitler: “It’s definitely going to change the way I share stuff in public”
Hitler: “I just want my old search results back…”
Hitler: “When I search for Katy Perry…”
Hitler: “…I expect to get her Facebook Page and latest Tweets…”
Hitler: “…not her empty Google+ page”
Hitler: “I knew she and Russell Brand wouldn’t last.”

New term: eFat

efat motivational poster

New term: eFat- As such, the majority of our modern lives have transplanted over to the powerful and glorious land of internetia. As with real life, internet life can get exhausting.

Whether it’s plowing through 8 milion facebook posts, 90 million myspace spam ads, the legion of anon, the bullshit of IGN, etc, or simply doing actual work on your computer, the e-life can take it’s toll.

This is where eFat comes in. You’ve all done it. Ever IM somebody who’s in the next room or even the SAME room as you? eFat.

Don’t feel like harvesting your Farmville crops? eFat.

On wikipedia, are you too lazy to type in what you’re looking for, instead trying to link shit together by clicking? eFat.

eFat is the NEW standard of laziness. So say we all.

Community Profile: Meet A Gamer

Meet A Gamer logo
Meet A Gamer logo

Meet A Gamer

It has long been a criticism that gaming can and does lead to anti-social behavior. The vision of children and adults alike playing away for hours on end in a cold damp basement has caused many parents to cringe at the thought of letting their kids get into gaming. While it is certainly true that becoming too addictive to games can pull one away from other important aspects of their lives including social interactions, it has also been proven that many gamers have found their own community within the gaming world.

Just as there are those who flock to sports bars to find companionship with sports fans, the same is done with gamers. It started with groups of friends getting together to play games and expanded with the internet to forums, chat rooms and user groups. Today with the explosion of social groups and communication tools such as Ventrilo, Instant Messaging and Facebook, gamers can connect with other gamers in a way just a decade ago was not possible.

In our weeklong look at gaming communities we first wanted to discuss the growing social interaction between gamers. When one begins playing games they will quickly find friends they can play and communicate with through online lobbies and programs such as Xbox Live and Playstation Network. In addition with online groups and social media such as Facebook, gamers can find their niche be it FPS games, MMO’s or even classic gaming.

What about a social site that is just for gamers? Perhaps the next big thing in social media is not a general place where everyone can meet, but more specific places where people who share the same hobbies or likes can congregate. The question is can something like this work? As a former owner and administrator of many message boards I can testify to the difficulty of getting users to come to your forum with so many others out there.

However, the culture of gaming is different. A place where you know everyone is a gamer just like you might be a haven. Connecting with new gamers from around the world and being able to share everything from videos, to music to pictures could be very appealing.

Enter Meet A Gamer a social networking site where gamers can create a profile and interact with each other. You can discuss games, chat, and even meet up in your favorite game. Obsolete Gamer had a chance to talk with one of the owners of Meet A Gamer and we had some questions on what it was like to start your very own social gaming network.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Meet A Gamer advert
Meet A Gamer advert

Obsolete Gamer: How did you come up with the idea for Meet A Gamer?

Nick: Well I was gaming with some local high school buddies of mine and after a while I felt like it was getting too boring and need new people to start playing with.  I slept on it and figured out there was no “social network” for gamers.  So making Meet a Gamer was the perfect concept to find new gamers to play with.

Obsolete Gamer: Can you give us an overview on why you created Meet A Gamer?

Nick: To expand people with new gaming friend.  Creating a way to be able to find the better group to play video games with and of course socially.

Obsolete Gamer:  How difficult was it to create and get the word out to gamers to join?

Nick: It has been very difficult of course, since people use Facebook/Myspace/Twitter etc.  They feel that they don’t need another social network to deal with.  But then when people give it a try they notice it is a great addition with the other social networks because now they can have facebook/myspace for personal use and have a MeetaGamer account for gaming!

Obsolete Gamer:  What did you want your site to bring to gamers?

Nick: I wanted the site to allow gamers to overcome the trash talking and become more social.  Giving gamers the chance to actually meet new gamers without being beaten in a game or harassed.

Obsolete Gamer: How important is social networking to gamers?

Nick: With the way social networking took a spin in the past 6 years it’s really allowing the gaming community unite and kind of give the chance to build a gaming experience they have never experienced before.

Meet A Gamer logo
Meet A Gamer logo

Obsolete Gamer: How has the overall response been to your site by gamers and non-gamers alike?

Nick: The problem I noticed the older generation that played Atari feel that if you only play Halo and Call of Duty series, you are not considered a true gamer.  We all know that is the most played multiplayer on the xbox 360 platform.  Definition of a true gamer is if you play video games, not what type of video games you play.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Obsolete Gamer:  What is your gaming background?

Nick: What is gaming?  Just kidding, I’ve been gaming since I was a really little kid started off playing Mario Bros series on the original Nintendo, when you had to blow into the cartridge of the game to get it to play.  And I was really addicted to Excitebike that game had me going for hours.  I finally moved on to Super Nintendo, Sega, and now the next generation consoles.  I am really into the Call of Duty series now.  I’ve tried out the Wii and Playstation 3 but it really isn’t for me.  Those two consoles are collecting tons of dust right now!

Obsolete Gamer:  What is your favorite classic games and why?

Nick: Excitebike has to be my favorite classic game because when I was little I would tell my parents I was sick so I couldn’t go to school.  And I would play that game for hours on end.  I am not sure why that game made me so addicted but it was a blast!

Obsolete Gamer:  What are you playing now?

Nick: Right now I have just been playing NHL 11.  I got bored of Modern Warfare 2 and Madden 11 too quickly.  I am really excited to see what Black Ops has in store for us gamers!

Obsolete Gamer:  In your opinion how important is the online community to gaming and gaming culture?

Nick: If the online community can adapt to the gaming culture it will allow an expansion of networking.  Giving the chance for developers to listen to the people.  If we can all somehow stomp our feet and grab the attention of gaming companies now just imagine what could happen in 5 years!

I would like to thank Obsolete Gamer for contacting us, it was a great pleasure!

Want to join this up and coming social site and connect with gamers? Then check out Meet A Gamer.

MySpace Interview – Unkle Funkle

Uncle Funkle

So, who are you anyway?

Unkle Funkle, savour of the galaxy. Through the mighty weapon of da Funk I am taking over this planet – dance-step by dance-step.

Describe your sound for us.

I implanted the DNA of the original late 60’s and 70’s funkateers into my hips. That combined with my love for soul and pop music and my undeniably white herritage. As I’ve allways said: There will be a black president in the USA before there will be a white funk-pioneer… Well, here comes the white funk-pioneer!!!

So you rate yourself then?

If I do, it must be X-rated…

Who are your influences?

Prince, Stevie Wonder, George Clinton, Curtis Mayfield, James Brown.

Tell us one of your musical secrets.

…don’t know if it’s a secret, but make music that gets YOU off. Don’t make music you think will get other people off. As soon as I did, I noticed a change in the audience. People started to get off of my music!

What’s in the future?

More fun, more funk, less boring stuff.

What’s your claim to fame?

Actualy I don’t give a funk! I make music that gets me off. When I play live, if there is twenty people diggin it, that’s all I need!

Musically, where do you see yourself in 10 years time?

A drunken bafoon lying in my jaccuzi (sponsored by my 20 fans:-D) drinking cheap fake champagne.

Myspace or Facebook?

Myspace for music, facebook for friends.

J.A. Cares: MySpace Angles

MySpace Angles Motivational Poster

It is 2009; we have a black president, a black head of the RNC and a black attorney general. If you did not know this, these three things are the signs of the apocalypse and our end will come soon (2012), but before that time comes, I, your black internet physiatrist, J.A. Laraque am here to care and continue helping the fans of Obscure Internet with any and all issues.

Kandy Preston from Chicago Illinois writes:

Dear J.A.,

My name is Kandy and even though my name sounds sweet finding a date has left me with a sour taste in my mouth. This is my problem. I don’t like to get out so I do my dating online. I try not to be superficial, but I have run into too many men who take pictures of themselves using MySpace angles.

In case you don’t know what a MySpace angle is, it is when you take a picture to hide your fat and ugly. My question to you is why people can’t be honest about their body and their looks. It’s bad enough you don’t know much about people you meet online besides their picture and now their pictures are not a true representation of themselves.

J.A. can you tell me how wide spread this is? Are all these pictures doctored? Is there any truth on the internet?

First let me just say that most girls I know named Kandy are either hookers or really, really….large. Anyway, to answer your question, no, there is no truth on the internet. The internet, like the cake, is a lie.

I myself was unaware of MySpace angles until setup on a date. I learned that the camera can be used to deceive, not only others, but the opinions of the people in the picture. You can take enough of these pictures to where you look at them and think you look good, but you would be sadly mistaken.

Personally, I have seen people make a dating profile using an old picture and truly it sucks especially when it is clearly an old picture. When you see one of those old Motorola brick phone in the background and you are not in some cell phone museum it’s time to update those pictures.

Also, I have come across people whose main profile picture is a head shot but their additional pictures show the body. It’s not quite bait and switch, but I figure it’s best to just let people know what you look like up front. Perhaps these people feel happy that someone clicked on their profile even if only to be shocked when they look at their additional pictures. It’s like that website that tells you to stare at a blank screen then it plays a loud scream scaring the crap out of you.

I wish I had some good news for you Kandy but alas I do not. The internet is full of fail and honestly if you are searching it looking for a date then most likely you are also full of fail. The best thing to do is look at yourself in the mirror, preferably naked. If you feel like you are about to vomit then you should not be concerned about MySpace angles since you are in fact one yourself.

However, if you are hot, for god sakes get off the internet and hit the bar like the rest of humanity. See in the bar there are MySpace angles too, the difference is these angles hide things like financial debt, lack of an education and personality and their STD’s

Have fun!

P.S. I just realized your name is Kandy and you said sour taste in your mouth. I had a great joke to use, but Obama told me to be nice.