Parappa the Rapper

 

Parappa the Rapper

This time around Parappa the Rapper made the list and why shouldn’t it? It’s an amazing game and very revolutionary for its time. Before the Guitar Hero trend came to place there were very few music genre games out there. There were Parappa the Rapper, Umjammer Lammy, and MTV Music Generator although those two games last mentioned games came out later in the Playstation’s lifetime. Nevertheless, there were very few games using music as the main part of the game. Anyways, Parappa the Rapper made its debut in 1997 which was a really great year for the Playstation with such releases as Breath of Fire 3, Final Fantasy 7, Crash Bandicoot 2, and even Tomb Raider 2. It was pretty much the year of sequels for many franchises so the gaming library was filled with great titles. We also cannot forget about Castlevania Symphony of the Night being released and I’m sure there are others I must have forgotten to mention so I apologize.

Parappa the Rapper

 

Parappa involves into six stages which may sound short but will keep you busy for quite some time. They are fun and great to play through over and over. Even if you don’t like rap you’ll fall in love with this game. The main point of this game is to match the cursor on the top by timing it when it passes through the screen. Make sure you press the right button or you’ll loose your score and become awfully uncool. The game does deliver you difficulty in small dosage as the first level is extremely easy, it’ll become harder and harder as you progress which is very fair and should be implemented in every game. This is what keeps the player coming back for more.

Parappa the Rapper

 

Once you finish the game though, there are many other things you can do like go for the highest score and reach the cool factor. If you do then you’ll be sent to a different style of gameplay opening the possibilities even further. I won’t spoil it for you though, you just gotta believe!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_DYEZGsxX8[/youtube]

The PFI Tripe Awards: The Johnny Depp Shame Award

This award is brought to you by Pepsi, The choice for a new generation.

Johnny Depp Shame Award

Ladies and gentlemen, tonight we recover and chillout from the glory of the last award. The award presented tonight is simple, and to the point, unlike the recipients of said awards. Johnny Depp, one of the greatest actors of our era. PFI Best Actor 2003 winner for his portrayal of Captain Jack Sparrow in Pirates of the Carribean: The Curse of the Black Pearl.

Edward Scissorhands. Ed Wood. Sleepy Hollow. Nick of Time. The list goes on and on of great Johnny Depp movies. But, loyal viewers, the buck stops here. Johnny Depp has starred in two movies so ATROCIOUS, they ALMOST TAKE AWAY from all the great shit he’s done. Tonight’s award was delayed a couple of weeks in order to find a proper host. We needed a host to make sense of these senseless movies, so we searched far and wide, till we hit Westchester, NY. The PFI was so enthralled by what this man had to say about these terrible movies, we decided to have him present this award, as well as destroy the movies with me. I present to you….

Don Vito
DON VITO of MTV’S VIVA LA BAM!!!!

Don Vito: Thank you Paul. I’m shuggapresenting tonight the awards for Johnny Depp’s crappy movies. Idahowhathewas thinking after reading dees scripts. This first award is a LACK of script.
THE ASTRONAUT'S WIFE
THE ASTRONAUT’S WIFE!!!!

Paul: Thank you Don Vito. After reading these awards, please realize that there is more dialogue in these awards, than in the entire script of The Astronaut’s Wife. And no, this is NOT a good thing. I can tolerate movies with little dialogue. If anyone has seen Quest for Fire, a great movie with not a single word spoken, you’d understand. Quest for Fire worked because what was on screen was captivating and kept us watching. In The Astronaut’s Wife, the set design is just as boring as the minimalist script. Pastels, draperies, about 50fthjntjnmjnrs234521412410 shots of a lamp, etc. Johnny Depp plays an astronaut who comes back from space and impregnates his wife with two alien twins. THERE, THAT’s WHAT THE MOVIE’S ABOUT.

The simplicity of that sentence was the result of 2 hours of boredom and wrist slashing agony. Does that plot sound ridiculous? It’s even worse seeing it play on screen for a mind numbing 2 hours. There’s not really much else to say about The Astronaut’s Wife, as there’s not much said IN THE ASTRONAUT’S WIFE. I wish MST3K was still around. They’d have an absolute field day with this piece of crap. Don Vito what did you think??

Don Vito: I didn’t understand a thing, that movie was written by vulcan idiots, plot all discombobulated. Idahowhat it’s about gahber dumb movie wasting my time…Here’s another movie by vulcan idiots….
THE NINTH GATE THE NINTH GATE!!!!!

Paul: Thanks Don Vito. Roman Polanski, director of The Ninth Gate, was extradited from this country back in the 1970’s on the charge of rape. Had that incident never occured, he would’ve been charged with raping the wallet of moviegoers everywhere with the Ninth Gate, and of course, extradited. The Ninth gate is a massive assault on all that is senseful and purposeful. Never before has a movie tried to be so opaque, vague, dark, mysterious, and made all those elements unintentionally funny. 20 minutes into the movie Fernando and I were already destroying it. In fact I’d like to have a Ninth Gate viewing, invite a bunch of people and watch us rip it to shreds. It’s that easy. One shot in particular was extra shitty. Johnny Depp is on the phone, he looks behind him, there’s some dog staring at him. Depp looks back again, and the dog is gone. ::CLUBS SEAL:: THE DISAPPEARING ACT HAS BEEN DONE TIME AND TIME AGAIN, ENOUGH PLEASE. Sadly, the movie did not disappear. Johnny Depp is trying to find a book that opens the gates of hell. He looks everywhere for it, running into Skeletor and the Super Mario Brothers on his quest.

Ok, Frank Langella, and two guys who look like the Mario Brothers. But even THAT would’ve entertained more than this movie. Then he meets quite possibly the most ridiculous female lead since Kate Beckinsale in Pearl Harbor. Some mysterious rhetorical woman who knows about the occult. Nothing she says makes any sense, maybe she also wrote this movie. Notably, there’s a scene where she’s driving somewhere, the way she is driving mimics a old jewish lady with blue hair driving on Collins Avenue on a saturday morning, she’s squinting and everything. She does this for no apparent reason. I so wish I could find a screencap of her face when she’s driving, that’d guarantee everyone reading this to pee in their pants.

There is one good scene in this movie, Skeletor walks in a room of cultists and starts screaming out “MUMBO JUMBO, MUMBO JUMBO!!!” Fernando and I were ecstatic as this was the FIRST THING THAT MADE SENSE IN THE MOVIE. THE MOVIE KNEW IT WAS MUMBO JUMBO!!!! Depp and the Occult woman inexplicably have sex in the last scene of the movie, and the gates of hell open. Depp takes the book and walks into hell, I think. I certainly hope the screenplay for the Ninth Gate was what he was carrying in there. And I hope it doesn’t come out either. This movie was so terrible that we didn’t shut up about it for weeks after we saw it. We’d walk around Braddock screaming out “MUMBO JUMBO, MUMBO JUMBO!!” in honor of the tripe. Don Vito what did you think about The Ninth Gate?

Don Vito: It’s BULLSHIT I didn’t like it.

Paul: Couldn’t have put it better myself Don. Stay tuned next week as we present the ROMANTIC RITALIN award. Good night!!!

Wesley Willis: I Whupped Batman’s Ass

Wesley Willis

Wesley Willis was one of the first musicians to gain a cult following not only in his hometown of Chicago, but on the internet as well. Willis, who was a schizophrenic, released several hundred songs in the 1990’s which propelled him to a cult icon in Chicago music. Willis not only appeared all over the internet, but also on MTV and The Howard Stern Show. One of Willis’s most famous songs was, I Whupped Batman’s Ass.

Sadly, Willis died in the summer of 2003 due to complications from chronic myelogenous leukemia.

wesley_willis-greatest_hits_vol._3

I Whupped Batman’s Ass Lyrics

Batman got on my nerves
He was running me amok
He ridiculed me calling me a bum

I wupped Batman’s ass
I wupped Batman’s ass
I wupped Batman’s ass
I wupped Batman’s ass
I wupped Batman’s ass
I wupped Batman’s ass

Batman thought he was bad
He was a fucking asshole in the first place
He got knocked to the floor

I wupped Batman’s ass
I wupped Batman’s ass
I wupped Batman’s ass
I wupped Batman’s ass
I wupped Batman’s ass

Batman beat the hell out of me and knocked me to the floor
I got back up and knocked him to the floor
He was being such a jackoff

I wupped Batman’s ass
I wupped Batman’s ass
I wupped Batman’s ass
I wupped Batman’s ass
I wupped Batman’s ass
I wupped Batman’s ass
I wupped Batman’s ass
I wupped Batman’s ass
I wupped Batman’s ass
I wupped Batman’s ass
I wupped Batman’s ass

Æon Flux

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Æon Flux

For those that may not know Æon Flux started out as an animated series on MTV. During its run, Æon Flux gaming popularity and in 1996 a video game was announced. The game was loosely based on the television episode titled “The Demiurge.” Æon Flux was to be developed by Cryo Interactive and was to be published by Viacom New Media.

Unreleased - Æon Flux - In Game Screenshot

 

The game did show up at the 96 E3 and a commercial for the game was added to the series release for that years Æon Flux. Viacom and Virgin Interactive merged about halfway through the game development. The merger led to the cancellation of Viacom’s development, which subsequently led to Cyro losing the rights to Æon Flux.

aeon flux game

In the end, Cyro still had access to the games assets and so the game was reworked into the 1997 title Pax Corpus. The game still played and even had the plot elements from Æon Flux, but was just different enough to avoid copyright issues.

GAMES COMING OUT FOR CONSOLES: NOV 2nd 2010

vote McCain Obama Super Mario Bros
vote McCain Obama Super Mario Bros

Hey, its election time and you have the awesome choice between spineless yes men and tea baggers, why not skip all that and play some video games instead. Okay, fine. MTV told me to rock the vote so how about you game the vote. While you are out picking up these games stop over at your local voting station and get your democracy on.

God of War: The Ghost of Sparta

I have a love hate relationship with the PlayStation portable. I like the games and all, but why all the remakes and such like Final Fantasy and Parasite Eve being PSP only? Oh, well in GOW Sparta we follow the events of our hero between the story from GOW 1 and GOW2. This story takes place during Kratos visit to Atlantis and if it wasn’t sunk before we now know how it got that way. The game is the second to find its way onto the PSP and has all the brutality it did before and stunning visuals to boot. One thing we know for sure, he really dislikes King Midas.

Golden Eye 007 – Wii

Hey, pop quiz, how do you get people to keep playing the Wii, answer, you remake games that were awesome on previous consoles. Yes, my Wii hate runs read, but my love for Golden Eye never dies. It was one the best console shooters of all time and even ranks up high for all-time best FPS shooters. Now those of you with the Wii gathering dust have a reason to celebrate as a remake of this classic is coming to you Nov 2nd.

Now the game is new meaning new graphics and even a new bond as you play as Daniel Craig, but all the classic gameplay that made it great is still there. You can still decide how you want to finish missions going in Rambo style or playing it like Bond really would being stealthy and cool. Multiplayer is back with a four person split screen tons of modes and support for the Wii and classic remote, nunchuk and even the zapper. Will I be buying a Wii to play this, no. Will I get my friend to buy it and camp his house, yes.

What about the Kinect Games?

Yeah, about that, as I said this list is for games I would buy and this week these two are the only ones I would consider. However there is also the new Sonic Free Riders and Dragon Ball Raging Blast 2 that look good. However, I need to be a little more hash and this week you only get two from me. Next, week we will be back for our countdown to black Friday report so stay tuned and until then keep the spending to a minimum.