The PFI Tripe Awards: The Data Memorial Award

This is the Reverend Doctor Paul. We gather here today to pay our respects to our honored dead, The Data Memorial award, presented to films with the absolute worst endings ever. Let us start with a prayer. Oh Lord, hear our prayers, these movies know not what they do. They were good movies, faithful movies, yet sins kept them from maintianing sanctity, in this weary world. Tonight we first pay tribute to the finale of a fine trilogy, a pure trilogy, the first Data Memorial award goes to…..

Read more

The PFI Tripe: Video Game Movie Awards

NOTHING however can top the ending. She reaches the top of Tony Robbins' pyramid first, grabs hold of Tinkerbell. All of a sudden, the ice cave stars to collapse. She finds SNOW DOGS, and she sleighs her way out of the collapsing ice cave, SMILING and laughing the entire time. At this point I too was smiling and laughing, that the movie was OVER and that I can go home and do something more constructive with my time, like watch the chia pet grow. I hear the sequel is actually worse, I might just see it only to put it in these awards. Hey Pac Man, you saw Lara Croft: Tomb Raider, what did you think?

Read more

The PFI Tripe Awards: Volume 2

Usually when I watch a movie, be it in the theater, or at home, I must sit myself down and watch the whole thing, without any distractions. It’s just me and the movie. Now everyone knows I’m a lazy wretch, and it takes me centuries to mop the floors, pick up the laundry, etc… In the middle of Lost in Translation, I pressed pause, and I STARTED CLEANING MY ROOM. I HUNG UP MY LAUNDRY, MOPPED THE FLOOR, AND PUT THE SHEETS ON MY BED.

Read more