You dont get the show #23: We really don’t get Girl Gamers


By now girl gamers should be as normal as MOBA’s and DLC in the world of gaming and yet still we have many misconceptions and straight up falsehoods about girl games. We tackle this subject with the intelligence and grace you can always expect from You Don’t Get the Show.

The Obsolete Gamer Show: Back to Business

classic_video_games

This week we had our flame-war starting writer, Umar back in the studio and the talk focused on most of the staff playing League of Legends. We also talk about failing or failed MMO’s and pricing of games and MMO and the differences between a rabid gamer and a rabid sports fan. All in all a good show, let you know what you think.

The Obsolete Gamer Show: Back to Business

Or have a listen on our official OGS page and let us know what you think.

Or download our podcast from Itunes

 

The Obsolete Gamer Show: Girls, girls, girls

Gamer Relationships

What happens when you have a bunch of gamers talk about girls, well you have this week’s Obsolete Gamer Show. Ignacio, Tom and J.A dive into the lovely subject of getting, retaining and dealing with girls as a gamer. I am sure once again, we offended a ton of people, especially Tom, but it is a good look into the mind of some games and their views on relationships.

The Obsolete Gamer Show: Girls, girls, girls

Or have a listen on our official OGS page and let us know what you think.

Or download our podcast from Itunes

Games for Girls?

Do you really want to see a new achievement every time your girl finds a lost black sheep? If you are one of those guys stupid enough to share your Facebook account with your girl you are gonna look like a complete and total loser.~J.A. Laraque

Games for Girls?

You might wonder why I added the question mark at the end and the reason is because I am not sure if these games are really the ones girls enjoy and play the most, but after doing some research it appears many girl games put these games on their top list.

games 4 girls

So here is how this is going to work. You will get three first takes from me. The first take is the general take on the game. The second take is the positive friendly take and finally the third take is the evil chauvinistic take. Enjoy

The Sims

General: The Sims allows gamers to control their in-game avatar and pretty much everything around them including the house and everything inside it. This game is like taking care of a pet, but the pet is human. The Sim’s offers tons of gameplay options, add-on’s and simple yet interesting fun.

The Nice: The Sims is perfect for women to show their creative side. Let’s face it, 9 times out of 10 a girls is better at creating and running a home than a guy and they have that maternal instinct and strength of will to take care of the Sim.

The Evil: This is the perfect training vessel for future domestic servitude. The only problem with the Sims is she might think you will actually buy all the crap she fills her virtual house with. Perhaps dating sites should have a built in Sim’s game because depending on how the house and the SIm she created is presented could tell you a lot about the woman and her crazy factor. This game is also good because it keeps you busy while you play manly games like Gears of War.

Farmville

General: The Facebook game where you run a farm. You can plant all types of crops and build your farm up to be pretty big. There is also a social aspect where you can trade food and supplies and there are tons of little gifts and events through the year.

The Nice: This is a pretty good intro game if your girl has never played games and strangely enough it can make your World of Warcraft quests seem a lot less stupid when she is collecting dough to bake a pie. The social aspect is great as she can share her achievements with friends and the game runs on almost any PC.

The Evil: Do you really want to see a new achievement every time your girl finds a lost black sheep? If you are one of those guys stupid enough to share your Facebook account with your girl you are gonna look like a complete and total loser. Also, think of all the real chores she could be doing around the house instead of on a virtual farm and finally, 7 out of 10 Farmville players can barely cook in real life, down home indeed!

Dance Dance Revolution

General: Before Rock Band or Guitar Hero there was DDR, the game where you have to dance (or step) to the beat to achieve points. This game is fun in a group and can serve as a good workout as well. All you need is a little room and a love for music and you’re set.

The Nice: Forget Wii Fit at least with DDR you can have some interesting music while shaking it to the beat. Just imagine the love of your life shaking it on the dance floor just for you. This is a great game to team up together and have some fun before you show off your skills to your friends.

The Evil: If you combine bad J-Pop with the lack of rhythm your girl has you are in for a world of hurt. You will be forced to watch the painful display of your woman flailing around the living room knocking things over only to have to tell her she did well. Honestly, the thing to do is bypass all this and get her that sexy stripper pole workout thing. At least with that you can YouTube it and become an internet star.

Mario Kart

General: Go Cart racing at its finest. Mario Kart puts the character of Super Mario Bros. behind the wheel where you can race across a ton of different lands from the Mario universe. The gameplay is fun and the tracks are beautifully designed. This is a great game for all ages and skill types.

The Nice: Mario Kart is the kind of game that will little practice you can become good at it and it is designed to give you friendly competition. Girls will like the Mario world and the cute characters like the princess and Yoshi and will get into the gameplay that offers a scalable challenge without being harsh on first timers.

The Evil: Remember how bad your girl played Super Mario Bros.? How she would contort her whole body when trying to turn or jump the character. Do you really want to put another woman behind the wheel and worst yet she will want you to play. Now the question is do you own her in the game and sleep on the couch or let her win and listen to her playful ribbing for the next 20 years. What if she beats you fair and square, what then, you know murder is illegal right?

World of Warcraft

General: The ultimate MMO. You can create a character from a list of races and classes and play in an immense world of fantasy. Not only will you have tons of things to do, but tons of people to do it with. World of Warcraft can be almost anything you want from a challenging experience to a social outlet where you cook and search for treasure. Seriously, everyone is playing this.

The Nice: Sure it may take some time to get her started in the World of Warcraft if she was never before a gamer, but it can be worth it. If you are a fan of the game then the best thing is to have the person you love spending time with you loving something else you like spending time with. Plus, most girls pick support classes and are notorious for finishing all the quests and events so that can come in very handy for you and maybe even your guild.

The Evil: Do you really want to be a teacher? Honestly, you are looking at three outcomes. One, she will never get the game right and make you look bad and bother you all the time to help her. Two, she will quit out of frustration and hate you for it, but she won’t dump you, oh no, she will force you to quit the game. Third, she becomes too good at the game and it takes over her life even more than it does yours. Her holy priest is picked over your hunter in the guild you helped to create and so she is turning you down for sex so she can finish all the holiday quests. See, this is why you live alone as long as humanly possible.

Do you see what I did there?

All joking aside there will always be games that appeal to one segment of the populous over the other, but is there really such a thing as a girl’s game anymore? I have seen and know many women of various ages that enjoy all games from the Farmville’s to the Call of Duties. Boys will most likely dominate gaming for the foreseeable future, but in that sea of testosterone you will find gamer girls doing the same thing we do, kicking ass and getting our asses kicked.

Games and the XX Chromosome

xx chromosomes
xx chromosomes

I’m normal, I swear. I get up every morning, have something to eat, shower, go to work, come home. However, instead of planning a new outfit, painting my nails, or going shopping; I pop in a video game. Does that make me so different?

According to the Entertainment Software Association (ESA) “Forty percent of all players are women and women over 18 years of age are one of the industry’s fastest growing demographics.  Today, adult women represent a greater portion of the game-playing population (33 percent) than boys age 17 or younger (20 percent).”

So why is it still such a shock to see a woman enjoying some good old fashioned interactive virtual fun? Why does the stereotype still exist? Is it because the games themselves sustain female stereotypes? Is it the social awkwardness of the typical male who chooses the video game as their media of choice? Or, is it the gaming industry that tries to paint this idyllic view of their manly models playing their games in ads?

Oh, I’ve heard it all before. “But chicks only play the cutesy and lame games.” “Girls only play for their men.” Not so, in fact, a significant number of women are out there playing MMOs, FPSs, and RTSs. And according to the ESA “the average female gamer plays games 7.4 hours per week.” So why is it that people still think that games are a male dominated arena?

It’s because the game development is still predominantly male. “Studies have shown that nearly 9 in 10 workers in the industry are men.” However, when girls are exposed to games early enough (like their male counterparts) they can see game development as a viable career option. The more we play and the more we get behind games, the more we can broaden the gamer image.

Games are everywhere now, from smart phones to Facebook. And with the Microsoft Kinect, the game world has expanded to include those who have always shied away from complicated button controllers. Sooner or later we will all become gamers as the media shifts from static entertainment to interactive. And the days of the all male gamer stereotype will fade away. And we’ll all be able to bask in the glow of our favorite electronic media!

My Introduction within the Sausage Fest!

Jesus and the sausage fest
Jesus and the sausage fest

Let me introduce myself then, I’m your average obsessive PC gamer, drinks too much red bull and spends countless hours playing the latest FPS or mucking around in some MMORPG with friends.

I’m also a female gamer, but I’m not here to preach about girl power and whether we kick the asses of boys or not. I play for fun and while I am rather competitive I’m not out to spear-head the whole girl gamers are the best propaganda, we all share a common interest, which is gaming right?.

While I love me some console gaming, my real love is all on the PC, back when Counter Strike first came out. I played it religiously, to the point where I’d get my mom to drop me off at some random tiny little comic book store that had like six PC’s in this tiny little backroom where we’d spend hours playing DE_Dust and sweating like pigs while we screamed and flailed every time one of us got a kill on the other and my male friends would shout “Get back to the kitchen” and I’d laugh (as if we haven’t heard that one before).

I was also a huge fan of Quake, Medal of Honor, UT2004 , Shadowbane and countless other games along the way, though thankfully after a few years went by I managed to find a local LAN party where instead of a tiny little backroom filled with sweaty gamers, it turned into a much larger room with more people to play with/against, though it turned out to be just as sweaty sometimes, but a hell of a lot of fun.

But I will admit I’m not all killing and PVP. I did at one time go through a DDR phase, stomping around like an idiot at Dave & Busters which looked nothing like dancing to Japanese songs I didn’t even understand. I was also the proud owner of like twelve tamagotchi’s on my keychain and even played the Yu-Gi-Oh trading card game. (I was 16, but when I realized at a local tournament that I was playing against 9 year old boys and I was actually beaten by an 11 year old one, I decided it was not the game for me, and I felt pretty stupid too).

I owned about six different Pikachu plushies and played both Pokemon Red and Blue religiously on my Gameboy. I love all the Sonic games and have clocked in countless hours on old school Tekken and loads of other games that would pretty much take a long while to list really.

While yes, I am indeed the proud owner of a set of ovaries, it doesn’t mean I’m out there licking controllers or obsessing over Farmville (which I have actually tried to play, but I’ll leave that for another time!)

For the moment, I’m playing it up on Call of Duty: Black ops, Borderlands, L4D2 and even some WoW since Cataclysm is coming out soonish, and while I’ll gladly say I’ll kick your ass in some of those I listed, I’m not saying it because I’m a female gamer, I’ll say it because I’m just your average obsessive gamer with the common goal to pew pew it up.

Why did she Kick My Ass at Fighting Games?

His name was Erwin and he played with Orchid and was able to pull off a combo from the start of the match and chain it into a finisher so you did not get in one single hit. He taught me that trick in exchange for six bags of Skittles, a Mars bar and my limited edition Cobra Commander with cloth mask.~J.A. Laraque

Why did she Kick My Ass at Fighting Games?

One day when I was a teenager I decided to invite my sister to play some fighting games with me. She was totally not a gamer, hell she didn’t even know how to turn on my SNES. I don’t know why I asked her to play, the last time I got her to try a game was Final Fantasy and she just looked at the screen, then to me and said; “So this is why you don’t have a girlfriend.”

Gamer Girl

Maybe I wanted revenge on her for scaring my ass a child making me believe there were ghosts that shook the house never telling me it was the subway underneath. Perhaps I was bored because my friends were out living life and I was trying to master every finisher in Mortal Kombat.

Mass Shrinkage

So I popped in Street Fighter 2 for the SNES, I figured the first thing I would do was show her who is boss. I had marathon seasons with my friend John who could beat the game on hard with the controller behind his back. (He did this and yet had a girlfriend). He would play Ryu and I would play Ken and thanks to his skills I could kick almost anyone’s ass.

Gamer Girl anime

My sister picked Chung Li because she was a girl and was “pretty”. She didn’t even ask what button did what, but I decided to give her a few moments to get used to the game. After a moment I jumped in expecting to finish her off pretty quickly, and then something weird happened.

I couldn’t lay a hit on her. She was just mashing the buttons and somehow she was kicking my butt. You should have seen her face; she looked like she was wrestling with a rat in her hands. She was blinking wildly and sweating. Even worst she would turn her whole body with the controller as if that helped her. All this and she owned me.

Oh Hell No!

We had about ten matches before I had to take a break to get some air (and to cry). I did get close; she had 10% health and somehow beat me. I could not believe it, 10 and 0, her win. I had to get my balls back so I loaded up the Sega Genesis and popped in Mortal Kombat.

beaten by a girl

MK2 was my game. I played in the arcades and was taught every combo and finisher from this guy who claimed his dad had worked on the coding for the game. I knew every in and out and I was determined to make my sister pay for what she did to me. If I ever hoped to get laid I had to beat my sis at video games. Yes, I see now my logic was flawed.

I picked Scorpion and again my sister went with a girl, Sonya Blade. My sister told me Sonya was a nice name; she nicely kicked my ass again. Don’t get me wrong, with MK 2 I won some matches, but in the end she won more. She even pulled off a finisher and she never played before or even saw the movie!

At this point I was her bitch and had one more game to try.

Balls, missing

Killer Instinct was recently released for the N64 and I had been trained in it by the master. His name was Erwin and he played with Orchid and was able to pull off a combo from the start of the match and chain it into a finisher so you did not get in one single hit. He taught me that trick in exchange for six bags of Skittles, a Mars bar and my limited edition Cobra Commander with cloth mask.

My sister thought the game was very pretty when I loaded it up and to her surprise I picked the girl. My sister was upset, but then smiled when she realized she could also pick Orchid. It was to be sweet revenge because I would beat her with a girl character.

hot girl gamer

It started off well enough. Again, she knew nothing of the game and didn’t ask for instructions. I had her half health when out of nowhere she pulled off a combo breaker. I felt my scrotum shatter as she pulled off her own combo and somehow killed me. I just sat there, my mouth gaping, I couldn’t believe it.

I only played her that one time. I got up without saying a word and left. I think I walked six miles before I feel to my knees embracing the defeat. At that time everything I was evolved gaming and my noob sister owned me in three different fighting games I was a pro at.

You took my balls and I’m going home!

I didn’t play any games for the next few weeks. I started to go out more and play basketball and even met a girl. It didn’t work out, but hey it was a start. In the end my sister helped to break the addition to games. I still played a lot more than a normal kid, but it did get me to realize that what’s important is moderation because if you sister can kick your ass then you might as well not take the game so seriously.

Girl Gamer FPS

I also had an effect on my sister. She got into video games though her type was adventure or horror like Resident Evil and Silent Hill. To no surprise she was very good at those games as well.

I never learned why my sister had a natural ability to own me. I never saw her play anyone else so I don’t know if it was just me or something else. Either way I learned something that day; girls can play games and lay the smackdown on you too. Later in life I made sure to get my girlfriends into games, sometimes they beat me, but in the end I always came out on top. (Lol’s sex joke for the win!)