WTF Did I Just See?

hot banned commercial

Time for more shocking and weird videos from interzones.

Ultimate Muscle Roller Legend

This is simply the most Japanese thing I’ve ever seen. It’s also the weirdest video ever!

Superhero Movie – Miles Fisher spoofing Tom Cruise with Spanish subs

Miles Fisher is an amazing troll, often mimicking Tom Cruise and Christian Bale.

Gorky Park – Moscow Calling

This sounds a lot like Falco. Hell, I’ll take it!

Scooter – Maria (I Like It Loud)

“Alright everybody, tie your shoes!” enough said.

Celebrate The Nun – Ordinary Town (Eurotops)

If you only know them from Scooter, this video will shatter your world.

“Fuck you” Sign language performance

This one isn’t as much shocking as it is simply brilliant. πŸ˜€

DUBSTEP CAT!

Simply because Ramiro plays this video 1000 times a day, I must post this…

Liam Neeson improv with Ricky Gervais, Stephen Merchant and Warwick Davis on Life’s Too Short

“I’m Liam Neeson and I’m a funny guy”

DOGSTEP! (Dubstep Dancing Dogs)

If the cat weren’t enough…

Banned 90s LUNCHABLEZ commercial

This commercial is dope!

Banned commercial dangers of working at home

What a great wife!

Young Girl

This could happen to anyone.

Pic-O-Funny: Suddenly, An Oven

Sundenly an Oven

I remember driving from Chicago to Miami and there was a huge mountain we went up. On the way down, which was a really steep slope, there was a washing machine in the middle of the road. It was pitch dark, no street lamps. I only saw it at the last second and avoided it. Seriously, how could I explain that I crashed into a washer?

2 Pac Star Wars15ClitonDinnerDrinking can cause pregnancyhungry hungry hipposI am upsetjust shut upNorth versus SouthWhile you were out

Nicolas Cage: Freakout Montage

nicolas_cage_freakout

We all know Nick Cage goes crazy in a bunch of his movies, its why we love him. Well, now we have a montage of him freaking out and its pretty freaking awesome.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xP1-oquwoL8[/youtube]

Here is the video info:

Cage Rage. Montage of Nic freaking out. Full film list here:http://www.pajiba.com/guides/nicolas-cage-losing-his-sht-the-video.php

The Cage himself talks about this video in a recent interview:
http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/awesome-interview-nicolas-cage/

Music – Clint Mansell – Lux Aeterna (Requiem for a Dream Soundtrack)

Knightsquire

Knightsquire

Aaaah, yes, summer-time. Beaches, Tequila with a slice of orange, fruit with a slice of Tequila, overheated PCs and the chronic lack of money. Enter Independent Gaming and its brand new freeware find: Knightsquire (and not Knight’s Quest). A brilliant short adventure game that might just help you save enough money to treat yourself to your favorite alcoholic poison.

Knightsquire, lovingly crafted by none other than buloght (?), is apparently a game about a knight and his squire. Make that better a game about a knight, his squire and a door stuck shut. Not very epic in scope, but funny, quirky and touching on the delicate subject of squire-maltreatment (quite the class issue in medieval Europe), Knightsquire is a rather traditional point and click adventure, that’s slightly reminiscent of Gobliins 2 (see Gobliins 2 @ mobygames). Following a long adventuring tradition it lets you pick up , examine, interact with and use a variety of inventory objects, sporting mostly inventory driven puzzles. Oh, and it will entertain you for at least a couple of hours, provided of course you aren’t the ultimate adventure gaming genius.

Knightsquire

Anyway. On to the visual arts front, oh most perceptive and observant of readers, where as you should have already noticed Knightsquire sports brilliant low-res 2d graphics, with a distinct comic-book feel and buckets of color (well 32bits of it actually). Stylish eye-candy I would characterize it, were I not so majorly irritated by Firefox, thus getting all cranky and nasty, thus avoiding any good-hearted exaggerations.

Still, you get the point. It’s beautiful. It’s a precious little gem after all. And it lets you control both the knight and the squire. I swear I even heard of a resident princess!

That’s a (nine) out of (ten).

THE PFI TRIPE AWARDS: MOVIES THAT INSPIRE CHRIS HAHN TO HAVE A BOWEL MOVEMENT

PFI Tripe Vol 7
Tonight’s host……ME!!!!!!

.no picture available due to the Patriot act.

Good evening fellow members of the PFI. Tonight we congregate here to pay respects to our soon to be dearly departed. Our guest of honor tonight was not the 40th president of the USA, did not try and stop Martin Luther King Jr. day from happening, did not illegally sell arms to Iran, while also selling arms to Iraq and Saddam, did not train Osama bin Laden to fight the evil Soviets, did not believe that trees caused pollution, did not fail to address and ignore the AIDS epidemic till 1987, and didn’t throw the nation into a horrible recession. Tonight’s guest of honor will be leaving for Cocoa Beach shortly, and tonight, we honor movies that both him and myself hated. These are the movies THAT GIVE CHRIS HAHN BOWEL MOVEMENTS, and me too.

The first recipeint of the Bowel Movement award is a movie I was very fond of in my childhood, then I recently re-saw it for what it was, a poor man’s E.T., I present to you…..

Ronald Regan
Shit wrong picture….

Mac and Me
Ah yes, Mac and Me. Mac and Me need only be dictated in interesting FACTS based on what happens in the movie. Let us begin. These creepy looking aliens (picture E.T. on metamphetamines) are meandering about their planet, there’s a mom, a dad, a daughter, and a little boy. How do we determine their sex?? For some odd reason, we just do, maybe their manneurisms. The aliens get thirsty, so they stick straws into the ground, and drink Coke out of the planet, I swear I’m not making this up. Not Pepsi, not Publix Cola….but COKE. I hope Pepsi doesn’t sue me for breach of contract. (Note to Pepsi, I am pointing out all the product placement in Man and Me, no harm done, Pepsi is STILL the choice of the new generation!!!)

Even though the movie was filmed and took place in the late 80’s, it seems NASA has advanced 53252542425 years as they have probes landing on distant planets and expeditiously bringing rock samples back to Earth. The aliens encounter one of these probes, and get sucked into the probe with a huge vacuum cleaner. THE ENTIRE FAMILY. The Ford Probe brings them to Earth where they are released of course. For some odd reason the young boy alien gets separated from his family. He ends up in the backyard of some “down on his luck” kid and his dysfunctional family(does any of this sound familiar). The kid is in a wheelchair. This is mainly so Steven Spielberg and Universal don’t file a lawsuit.

Anyways, the handicapped kid discovers the alien likes Coke, so, in cinema’s finest example of product placement, there are countelss cans of coke lying around everywhere. Then there’s a scene where the wheelchair kid carrens of a ravine into a lake, and the alien must save him. There’s a shot of the alien underwater that looks like a Japanese goldfish. So E.T. on crack saves Hawking the 2nd and a friendship is born. It’s time to tak the alien to, McDONALD’S!!!!! Yet how are they going to get away with bringing an alien to McDonald’s?? Easy, they put him in a teddy bear suit. Then they have all the employees and patrons of McDonalds break out into song and dance, INCLUDING the alien in the teddy bear suit. The size of the alien changes 5 times in this scene due to the stunt workers flipping around in the bear suit. Then the evil government comes and raids the party. Because of how popular he was at the McDonalds party, they name the alien “Mac”. Now if THAT’s not product placement, I don’t know what is. Mac somehow is reunited with the rest of his family in the desert.

Later on, I forgot how, they all end up at a K-mart type store. The aliens are inside the store, government appears, fires at the store, and it inexplicably explodes. What proceeds is pure retardation. The handicapped kid is at least 800 feet away from the store. FOR SOME REASON THE EXPLOSION KILLS HIM. No scars, burn marks, shrapnel wounds, NOTHING. Book of Jorge. Imagine if I were killed all the way down here in 9/11 due to the explosions in NYC. Yes, it looks that ridiculous in this movie. The aliens come out of the burning store (must’ve been all the coke) and revive the dead kid. This causes the government to parlay, and easily grant the aliens AMERICAN CITIZENSHIP. You see them all being sworn in wearing suits and dresses and stuff. I wanted the teddy bear suit back. My father spent YEARS trying to get his citizenship in this country, but these ALIENS FROM PLANET COCA COLA get it IMMEDIATELY upon rescuing a kid. The aliens then drive a pink cadillac and Mac blows a bubble that says “we’ll be back”. Thankfully, they never did. Maybe they were deported? HAHN what do you think?

Hahn: ::DROWNS KITTENS::

Paul: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! At least Mac and Me was supposed to be dumb (I think). This movie was supposed to be SERIOUS AND GOOD. It ended up EVERYTHING BUT. Ladies and gentlemen, start swinging clubs for…….

Alien Resurection

How does one begin to disseminate this piece of shit? Ah yes, DISAPPOINTMENT. Similar in aspects to Mortal Kombat Annhilation, we waited months and months for Alien Resurrection, and much like that sequel of yore, we were left with cinematic blueballs once it was over. Alien Resurrection started off interestingly enough, with a cargo ship crew discovering the existence of a cloned Ellen Ripley. Along with the cloned Ripley came the cloned QUEEN alien, which was inside of her in the duration of Alien 3. Naturally the aliens escape their captivity on this ship, and all hell breaks loose. It’s actually a GREAT movie, until….the last 20 minutes of the movie. Ripley falls thorugh a steel grating on the ship into a pile of alien goo. At the same exact time, the entire movie falls down there with her, into alien goo.

She begins to hug and caress a bunch of aliens. Yes, this is the same Ripley from the original Alien trilogy, who’s life has been destroyed by these horrific creatures.

Alien

Apparently now, she has alien DNA inside of her cloned body, or something. I don’t know, it gives me a headache. So she’s done fellating the aliens, and we see the dreaded QUEEN ALIEN. OH SHIT, HERE WE GO.. SHE’s GONNA KILL BILL..ERR I MEAN THE QUEEN ALIEN!!! Out of nowhere the queen alien GIVES BIRTH to THIS:

Alien Sculpture
THAT piece of artsy fartsy bullshit is a hybrid HUMAN AND ALIEN. It then KILLS the queen alien, thus killing any shot this movie had of being great. In one of the worst lines in movie history, a cocooned scientist says to the newborn hybrid alien “What a beautiful butterfly!” THE HELLFIRE AND AGONY OF THE ALIEN SAGA AND WE GET SOME MORON SAYING “WHAT A BEAUTIFUL BUTTERFLY???? ::CLUBS SEAL::

Monster
The hybrid alien comes up to him, and crushes his face with his hand. I think the alien was pissed that he was called a BUTTERFLY. I would’ve been too. Anyways, Ripley, realizing this scene is one of the gayest in history, runs out of the room onto the escaping drop ship to Earth. Naturally the hybrid follows “mommy” to the ship, and proceeds to start killing the crewmembers. Ripley must come and stop her “child” from killing people, in a very sentimental, heartfelt scene.

.patriot act strikes again, picture not available.

Awwwww, then she sucks the alien out into space through a tiny hole in the hull as it cries, yes CRIES horrifically. You literally see it’s bowels flying out into space, how’s THAT for a bowel movement?? The crew is on it’s way to Earth, the 3 that are left at least. The end. Whoever’s idea it was to turn Alien into artsy fartsy sentimental bullshit really is deserving of this particular Tripe award. There’s a fine line between dramatic and DUMB. Alien Resurrection certainly breached dumb, then was sucked out into space. Hahn??

Hahn: ::HARPOONS BABY WHALES::

Paul: DAMN YOU HAHN, YOU WONT FIND ANY WHALES TO HARPOON IN COCOA BEACH!!! Farewell my good man!

Tune in next week for quite possibly the most ANGRY, FURIOUS, WRETCHED, and MOST OFFENSIVE of all the tripe awards. THE BUBONIC PLAGUE AWARD, which features the MOST UNFUNNY COMEDIES EVER. Until next week, GOOD NIGHT!!!

Grand Theft Auto: LEGO City

grand-theft-auto-meets-lego-city

Simply put, it’s just a brilliant GTA video. In LEGO City. More of a stop-motion animation with LEGOS actually. And a definite GTA theme. Cute. Enough said. Words can be expensive.

[youtube width=”600″ height=”480″]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EMY9VlMIEJk[/youtube]

Hey Hitler, Osama Bin Laden Is Dead

I just love how much Hitler has become a running joke on the internet. This recurring meme is getting out of hand.

This one was surprisingly good but I still think that Hitler is best for singing the theme song to the Jeffersons “Movin’ On Up”

If Der Fuhrer weren’t so busy turning over on his grave, I’m sure he’d fall on his ass laughing.

Wait a second… I think Hitler is still alive!

Hitler lives? wtf!

He’s been spotted! Best not piss him off…

Nintendo Rube Goldberg Animation

Nintendo Rube Goldberg Animation
The greatest artists have mostly been inspired by the grand and perpetual human drama. Be it personal or social, Art has always been about us. Not digital Italian plumbers, or peculiar Far Eastern brand names. Apparently times have changed. A simple, but admittedly quite inspired, YouTube video can prove it:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_4VZOjKRxA[/youtube]

Chat Roulette: Batman meets Obama

Funny Chat Roulete Screenshots

What is chat roulette, it is a video chat program where you randomly chat with people over the internet. CR gained most of its popularity about a year ago, mainly for the thousands of penis exposing shots people would see while using the service. Once chat roulette began banning these people it was decided that dressing up or putting funny things in the background was the way to go. Here are some of the funnier screen caps from chat roulette.

Funny Chat Roulete ScreenshotsFunny Chat Roulete ScreenshotsFunny Chat Roulete ScreenshotsFunny Chat Roulete ScreenshotsFunny Chat Roulete ScreenshotsFunny Chat Roulete ScreenshotsFunny Chat Roulete ScreenshotsFunny Chat Roulete ScreenshotsFunny Chat Roulete ScreenshotsFunny Chat Roulete ScreenshotsFunny Chat Roulete ScreenshotsFunny Chat Roulete ScreenshotsFunny Chat Roulete ScreenshotsFunny Chat Roulete ScreenshotsFunny Chat Roulete ScreenshotsFunny Chat Roulete ScreenshotsFunny Chat Roulete Screenshots

Leather Hands: Vertical Lines

Virtal Lines

Sometimes when you create a song you have to think to yourself, how do I market this. I think this video is the best answer as to how to market a so-so song with an awesome video.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hP8nnCqK4gE[/youtube]

 

Spooks

Spooks Gameplay Screenshot 1
Well, in a nutshell: Spooks is the first creation of a person named “The Ivy”” along with a very small team, it’’s a freeware adventure, it looks good, sounds ok, is size-wise a very modest download and anyone who is smart enough to have reached this review, shouldn’’t have any trouble downloading it from the xii games website. And to wet your appetite, here is a nice screenshot:Nice, isn’’t it?
Spooks Gameplay Screenshot 2
Of course it is, and it should be enough to convince you to have a look and to stop me from writing this review. Problem is, Spooks is a very good game, and one worth having a (slightly) more detailed look at. First of all the graphics are unique, mostly in grayscale and with a rather innovative use of color. Then, the three very important pillars of a comedy adventure game are there: the story is good (albeit a bit short), the dark humor is sarcastic and actually funny, the puzzles are varied, interesting and decently implemented.
Spooks Gameplay Screenshot 3

Naturally, as Spooks is the Ivy’’s first foray in adventure game design, not all is rosy (what a weird and subtle pun -–eh?). Puzzles are a tad on the too easy side, which isn’’t necessarily a bad thing, as is for example the lack of obvious hotspots, which eventually leads to some annoying pixel-hunting. Other minor problems include a few quite obvious time-triggers, lack of a full soundtrack, the inclusion of one (easy yet uninspired) Myst-style puzzle and a lack of polish here-and-there.

On the plus side, the dialogs, handled with a typical multiple-choice interface, are very well written, the finale is unexpectedly unexpected, the Sierra styled interface works in an okay way, and as I’’ve already said everything is fine and dandy. Even the lead character is like Diamanda Galas in joke-mode. I guess that in order to find out more you should rather download and play the game. Here are more screenshots, and a hint on the plot: It’’s about ghouls. The female kind. That should do it. I’’m sure I’’ve convinced you to have a look.

Spooks can be downloaded from the AGS website.

That’’s an (eight) out of (ten).

Fucked Up Fuck Yea

It might not be Friday but we are still fucked up… FUCK YEA…

See there rest of the series here.

9-11 September 11 Fuck Yea

Free Money Fuck Yea

Dropped Food Accident Averted Fuck Yea

Woke Up On Time Without Alarm Fuck Yea

Just Down The Stairs Perfectly Fuck Yea

Bitches Want Me But I Deny Them Fuck Yea

Rage Fuck Yea

Stopped Microwave One Second From Beeping Fuck Yea

Be Quiet In The Library NO THANKS Fuck Yea

Bitches Want Me Fuck Yea

Exact Amount of Money To Buy Shades Fuck Yea

CHARIZARD Pokemon FUCK YEA

Epic Beard Man Fuck YeaDelayed Fuck YeaOver 9000 Teacher Fuck Yea

DOW2 Space Marines Own Fuck Yea

Open Book To Exact Page Fuck Yea

Guess Exact Number of Jelly Beans Fuck Yea

Not Going To Be Late Because It's Sunday Fuck Yea

Stare Down Luigi Fuck Yea

Puttanopoly

puttanopoly-

Monopoly. Definitely not a good thing, thoroughly described by Lenin, detested by most, but also one of the landmark board games of the 20th (and apparently 21st) century. And with more than 100 different versions too. Problem is, Monopoly doesn’t have the history we all believed it had… Head over at SnakeOil labs, read everything about Anti-Monopoly, the true story of the game and the obscure Landlord’s Game , thus preparing thyselves for something completely different. The actual point of this humble little post.

Puttanopoly:

puttanopoly

An Italian adaptation of Monopoly, that does to board games, exactly what Pimp: The Backhanding (by none other than the prestigious White Wolf of Vampire fame) did to card games. Unfortunately, it’s only in Italian. Still, the idea is internationally understood. Be a hooker, avoid evil pimps, get to the rich customers, avoid Jack-the-Ripper wannabes and cops and (that’s the Monopoly bit) protect and expand your turf.

If you must know, Puttanopoly derives from the word puttana, a mostly Italian -partly Greek- word that could not mean anything else but whore…

Great stuff. Let’s wait for a translation, right?


Brought to you by: I

You might be too young to know this and it saddens me that I know this so well but back in the day before many television shows they would tell you who their sponsor was. The show would tell you; β€œThis show is brought to you by…” and following that would be some images of some product or company and their tag line.Β  Well, Obscure Internet is bringing that back internet style with a new series of screen captures that are just a bit off, enjoy.

Crazy Lady with Tide
Tide now with 25% more caffeine and a great new taste!
Sandra Lee - Screencap
Irish Coffee, because if I don’t get blasted I will kill you!
Ref cuffs balls in NFL
Cup inspectors, grabbing your crotch since 1918.
Drugged Girl Screencap
Child Tranquilizers, who says you can’t have peace at home.
Lady licking Bowling Ball
Sex Education, the better you do it the longer he will stay with you.

Fuck Yea Friday

Fuck Yea, it’s Friday.

See there rest of the series here.

Exact Amount of Money Fuck Yea

No Thanks Bitches Fuck Yea

Sex As Payment Fuck Yea

I can't waste my time tutoring you Fuck Yea

Fuck Yea Why Not

Would You Like Fries With That Fuck Yea

Hitler Fuck Yea

Two Cans Come Out Fuck Yea

Porn Leads to Fucking Fuck Yea

Instant Blowjob Fuck Yea

Miscarriage Fuck Yea

The McRib Is Back Fuck Yea

Perfect Cookies Fuck Yea

Valentine's Cock Block Fuck Yea

Super Mario Bros Fuck Yea

One Last Cigarette Fuck Yea

No Shit Came Out When I Farted Fuck Yea

recursive GIF reddit Fuck Yea

Rich Woman Likes Me Fuck Yea

Like Stealing Candy From A Baby Fuck Yea

My Favorite Ventrilo Harassments

The Internet and Real Life are two different things
The Internet and Real Life are two different things

My Favorite Ventrilo Harassments by Honorabili

Need a good laugh? Check out these videos to show clever pranks done on fellow & noob gamers by the Ventrilo Harassment experts!

I love a good prank as some of my favorite victims already know… Onto the videos!

Ventrilo Harassment – Tina & The WoW Nerds

The girl sounds so cute…

…but sometimes stupid at the same time. So many great lines such as “Thank God she’s gone so now I don’t have to talk in a deep voice.”

Ventrilo Harassment – Chris Hansen 2

You might not be able to control your “horny level” …

…but it is terrible sexy.

Ventrilo Harassment – Duke Nukem Style

“I’ve got balls of steel!”

The best is how the lady just complete snaps! “I don’t think your mother’s very happy about it!” The classic: “I’ll kill you OLD STYLE!”

Ventrilo Harassment – Peggy Forever

In fact, the mom comes back as a ghost to forever haunt Ventrilo Harassment victims. πŸ˜€

“Um, Ma’am! This is my vent server.”

Ventrilo Harassment – The Girl

“There’s a girl on our vent server.”

“It may be against the rules to mute a chick.”

Ventrilo Harassment – World Of Warcraft Nerd

“4 Strength, 4 Stam Leather Belt!”

“It sounds just like Joe! (angry) No, it’s not!!”

Ventrilo Harassment – World Of Warcraft Nerd 3

What this kid says kills me…

Kids say the craziest things. “Dude, my mom got me this new game.”

Ventertainment – 1337 haxz0rz

“I got this kid’s credit card info. LUL!”

“I got his IP!” “I got this kids LUL!”

Ventrilo Harassment – Your Mother

Of course, we need to have one with Arnold.

I like it when at least they play along.

Ventrilo Harassment – You Banned The Wrong Person!

Of course, it’s easy to get confused especially when being pranked by one of the experts…

Like in this one where they punished the innocent. πŸ˜€

Ventertainment – Nerds of Confusion

“That’d be fucking hot!”

I like how one of the players thought he was hearing things from drinking too much. πŸ˜€

Ventertainment – Nerd Confusion 2: Awesome Edition

Funny how nerdy people sound sometimes and to have to hear that crap over and over…

So whiny!

Ventertainment – Nerd Confusion 3: The Ring

This one is probably one of the funniest ones because they have no freaking clue as to what’s going on. They just keep having fun with it though and that makes it great!

Their explanations are epic, such as getting feedback from outer space, aliens, etc. Good fun!

Ventertainment – Mad As Hell

So great that they used the best lines from Network, which these kids have never seen…

“You’ve got to get mad!” The ending is so great!

Ventertainment – Halloween 3

The use of music and slowed down voices is great in this one!

The girl gets so scared by her own voice. Ah yes!

Ventertainment – Sticky Keys

I love how people just keep thinking stuff crashes without getting any messages and other people trying to provide shitty tech support.

“It keeps saying *DUN DUN DUN DAH*”

Ventertainment – Bubb Rubb

Love the noobs…

“The whistle goes WOO WOO!”

***

Well kids, that’s enough bullshit for today! Enjoy, laugh, be merry, keep gaming, and get pranked!

Dead Alewives Summoner D&D skit

So it’s friday, time to unwind and make the good old brain melt.~Honorabili

Dead Alewives Summoner D&D skit

Good chance is that if you’re an old gamer like us you grew up both playing video games and a ton of old pen & paper RPGs. So much braindead shit happens when playing RPGs usually. Dead Alewives made a skit which catches the spirit of that stupidity.

Summoner Dead Ale Wives DM
Summoner Dead Ale Wives DM

Here is my transcript of this heresy!

DM – “Galstaff, you have entered the door to the North. You are now by yourself, standing in a dark room. The pungent smell of mildew eminates from the wet dungeon walls.”

Fridge Raider – “Where are the Cheetos?”

DM – “They’re right next to you!”

Galstaff – “I cast a spell!”

Fridge Raider – “Where’s the Mountain Dew?”

DM – “In the fridge, DUH!”

Galstaff – “I wanna cast a spell!”

Fridge Raider – “Can I Mountain Dew?”

DM – “YES! You can have a Mountain Dew, just go get it!”

Galstaff – “I can cast any of these, right? On the list?”

DM – “Yes, any of the first level ones.”

Fridge Raider – “I’m gonna get a soda, anyone want one? Hey Grimm, I’m not in the room, right?”

DM – “What room??”

Galstaff – “I wanna cast ‘magic missile…'”

Fridge Raider – “The room where he’s casting all these spells from.”

DM – “He hasnt’ cast anything yet!”

Galstaff – “I am though, if you’d listen. I’m casting ‘magic missile!'”

DM – “Why are you ‘magic missile’? There’s nothing to attack here.”

Galstaff – “I… I’m attacking The Darkness!!”

(all laugh)

DM – “Fine! Fine! You attack ‘The Darkness’. There’s an elf in front of you.”

Galstaff – “Woah!”

Blue Eyes – “That’s me, right?”

DM – “He’s wearing a brown tunic and he has grey hair and blue eyes.”

Blue Eyes – “No I don’t, I have grey eyes.”

DM – “Let me see that sheet.”

Blue Eyes – “Well, it says I have blue but I decided I wanted grey eyes!”

DM – “Whatever! Okay, you guys can talk to each other now if you want.”

(silence)

Galstaff – “Hello.”

Grey Eyes – “Hello.”

Galstaff – “I am Galstaff, Sorceror of Light.”

Grey Eyes – “Then how come you had to cast ‘magic missile’?”

(laughs)

DM – “You guys are being attacked.”

Fridge Raider – “Do I see this happening?”

DM – “NO! You’re outside by the tavern!”

Fridge Raider – “Cool! I get drunk!”

DM (sighs) – “There are 7 ogres surrounding you.”

Galstaff – “How can they surround us? I had ‘Mordencaiden’s magical watchdog’ cast.”

DM – “No, you didn’t!”

Fridge Raider – “I’m getting drunk! Are there any girls there?”

Galstaff (angry) – “I totally did! You asked me if I wanted any equipment before this adventure and I said no but I need material components for all my spells so I cast ‘Mordencaiden’s faithful watchdog’.”

DM – “But you never actually cast it.”

Fridge Raider – “Roll the dice to see if I’m getting drunk!”

DM (sighs and rolls rice) – “Yeah! You are!”

Fridge Raider – “Are there any girls there?”

DM (annoyed) – “Yeah!”

Galstaff – “I did though! I completely said when you asked me.”

DM (more annoyed) – “No, you didn’t! You didn’t actually say that you were casting the spells so now there’s ogres, okay?!”

Fridge Raider – “Ogres?! Man, I got an ogre-slaying knife! It’s got a +9 against ogres!”

DM (angry) – “You’re not there! You’re getting drunk!”

Fridge Raider – “Okay but if there’s any girls there, I want to jolt/choke them!”

***

There you have it. That was the easter egg you get when you beat Summoner, making fun of Dungeons and Dragons (Satan’s Game!) and it’s typical players. My friends and I used to quote lines from that for years.

It was made by the Dead Alewives which are an 80s-90s comedy troupe. Click here to find out more about them.

Chris Taylor is NUTS

Chris Taylor talking to his chicken
Chris Taylor talking to his chicken

Chris Taylor is NUTS

No… seriously.

Game development is like raising chickens.

Chris and I were chatting last night about hookers, pr0n, Back to the Future, killing braincells…

I’m surprised the facebook thought police didn’t arrest us.

Nut contamination is not an issue at Gas Powered Games.

No workers are safe.

Melee combat is a hobby.

Just some crazy shit for you to think about every time you fire up any Gas Power games like Supreme Commander, Total Annihilation, etc.

Chris is our hero.

Keep checking up on his insanity at the Gas Power Games youtube channel here.