Falco Is A God

He might be gone but Falco is immortal.

Johann (Hans) Hölzel was an Austrian rocker and rapper that had innovative and sometimes controversial music videos. He died in 1998 in a car accident but his music is timeless. Let”s have a look at his best music videos to see what I”m talking about. Falco was Charlie Sheen before Charlie Sheen invented Winning.

His most famous song ever is Rock Me Amadeus:

The song is a great 80s pop song that shows his classic style that”s a mix of rock and rap along with great synth work. It”s also a tribute to Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. The video is insane showing people dressed up like people from the 1700s and 1800s alongside a bunch of bikers and punk rockers.

The song is such an 80s classic that even Bloodhound Gang made a song in tribute to it called Mope:

It”s not included in the video but in the album version of the song they show they”re Falco fans. Here”s the part of the lyrics that I”m talking about:

We gonna drop this next bomb for a money makin” playa that ain”t with us no mo.
Yeah, Notorious B.I.G.
Hell no, we gonna do this for a gangbanging thug that never seen it comin”.
Yeah, Tupac Shakur.
Nah bitch, I”m talkin” “bout motherfuckin” Falco and shit.
What? Falco?.

Rock me Amadeus,
Rock me Amadeus,
Rock me Amadeus,
Rock me Amadeus.

His next song that you might recognize is Der Kommissar:

I don”t know German but I think it”s a song about a drug dealer. He looks like he is rollerskating from a bunch of cop cars in the background. Cheesy but classic and the tune is so catchy too. So catchy in fact that you might know the cover instead by After The Fire, which is in English:

It”s a very similar version but I don”t think it has the charm of the original. I prefer Falco singing anyways.

The next crazy (amazing) video I can think of is The Sound of Musik:

This is a mix of the movie The Sound of Music with Mad Max and Escape from New York. If that”s not enough to blow your mind, then keep watching.

The next masterpiece we have is Wiener Blut:

This seems to me like a really nutty parody of political corruption in Austria. The imagery needs no language! We see “The Professor” gambling and making deals with mafiosos and special interest groups, we see his groupies, his bullshit PR events, etc. Oh yeah, there”s a committee of “angels” that gets splashed with blood? Weird but I guess that”s symbolism for something relevant? Or simply they were high as fuck when the director decided to put that in mobilephonescoop.com the video.

Next up we have Jeanny, probably his most controversial song and video:

This song has been said to glorify rape, kidnapping, and stalking. The song was banned in both West Germany and East Germany. Despite its banning the song hit number on the charts in Austria, Germany, The Netherlands, Norway, Sweden, and Switzerland.

We see certain homages in the video to the movie Psycho. It makes me think of Lolita as well. My favorite part of the video is when the girl”s ghost or his imagination keeps teasing him (I found this to be really cute) while he is locked up in the asylum.

Next we have the sequel to Jeanny, Coming Home (Jeanny Part 2, One Year Later):

In this one, we see the psycho was caught and served some time in an insane asylum. We see his obsession with his victim and his permanent fixation on her.

If it weren”t the fact for the video, if you just heard the song again, it would sound like a really romantic love ballad rather than a song about a killer stalking a new girl that looks like his old victim.

There are more parts to the Jeanny songs but those are the only two real official videos. Everything else I ever found were a bunch of fan made videos. I”m only posting the real videos here, and only his best stuff.

Next up we have Vienna Calling:

The video is great because of all the funny expressions he makes.

Next, we have Titanic:

The song is pretty good and the video is okay, mainly because of all the freaks in it.

Let”s move on to a better song, Body Next To Body (ft. Brigitte Nielsen)

Now this is more like it. A lot of post apocalypse costumes in this one. You might recognize Brigitte Nielsen from Rocky 4, Cobra, and Beverly Hills Cop 2.

The last, best video that Falco made was his last one actually, Naked:

The video shows Falco”s adoration for the female body, hence the correct title for the song. The video is so amazing that God killed Falco in a bus crash, having him leave us on a high note. Probably one of my favorite music videos of all time.

If you like his music, although these songs don”t really have videos or don”t have good ones check out:

Falco – Cowboyz and Indianz
Falco – Cyberlove
Falco – Egoist
Falco – Ganz Wien
Falco – Garbo
Falco – Hit Me
Falco – Natchflug
Falco – Tango The Night
Falco – Yah Vibration

And remember kids, Falco is smiling at you from heaven!

Falco Wiener Blut politician smile

Top Five Spectrum Compilations

Spectrum Compilations

Anyone who grew up in the 80’s and had a classic 8-bit micro would have worshipped the game compilations that appeared regularly throughout the latter half of that decade, and with good reason – a single new game would cost us upwards of £8, so who could say no to a collection of five, sometimes even more, games for a pound or two more? Whoever thought them up was a hero to all of us Spectrum, Amstrad CPC, and Commodore 64 owners! I was a proud Spectrum owner and of all the years I enjoyed gaming on it, a large percentage of this time was spent with compilations and the treasures contained therein. Here are my favourites:

Spectrum Compilations - The In Crowd 2

5. The In Crowd (1989)

I remember for many years my favourite Spectrum mags were going on and on about this one but it was one of the few ‘big name’ compilations I didn’t own. It wasn’t until the 8-bit era was coming to an end that I finally managed to get hold of a copy. Was it worth the wait? Well, it has some decent games that’s for sure: Karnov, Gryzor, Barbarian, Crazy Cars, Predator, Combat School, Platoon, and Target Renegade. While it’s true there’s not many classics on here, this compilation still proved amazing value for money by sheer weight of numbers!

Spectrum Compilations - Arcade Muscle

4. Arcade Muscle (1989)

This is another one I got quite late on, but given my love of arcade games and conversions of them, it was inevitable it would make an appearance here! There’s a bit of everything too. Platform fans get the rock-hard Bionic Commando to vex them, car (and shooting) fans get the never-ending Road Blasters, shmup fans get one offering of each type with the fantastic Side Arms and 1943, and lastly fighting fans are also catered for by the original (and oft-forgotten) Street Fighter! Quite amusing to see after playing the later games in the series, but it’s a decent enough Speccy brawler all the same. A nice variety of highly playable games from US Gold.

Spectrum Compilations - Giants

3. Giants (1988)

Say what you want about the OutRun conversions, but I still enjoyed the Speccy effort included here, monochrome graphics and all! The only game here I didn’t play much was 720 and that’s just because I didn’t really ‘get’ it. California Games is here and as much fun as ever (I particularly enjoyed the BMX event on this version) and Gauntlet 2 and Rolling Thunder are both fantastic games, and great conversions too. The latter is rather hard but very playable, and Gauntlet 2 is… more of the same old Gauntlet action really, but who’s complaining?

Spectrum Compilations - Magnificent 7

2. Magnificent Seven (1988)
A bit of a stupid name considering it had eight games on it (although one them was ‘free’ to enable Ocean to still use the catchy moniker). I had this one for near enough the entire time I had a Speccy. I remember my sister and I having great fun trying to work out what to do in Frankie Goes to Hollywood’s minigames thanks to this one, and it also led to my lasting affection for Arkanoid and Head Over Heels. The other games weren’t bad either – The Great Escape, Yie ArKung Fu, Wizball, Cobra (by the late, great Jonathan ‘Joffa’ Smith – RIP), and the slightly wiffy Short Circuit. Cracking compilation and nice variety too!

Spectrum Compilations - Taito Coin-On Hits 2

1. Taito Coin-Op Hits (1989)

Yeah, good old Taito! A compilation featuring eight games is good enough, but eight Taito games? They have long been one of my favourite games developers and this is one big reason why (or eight). I was already a big Arkanoid fan by the time I got this, so to find Arkanoid 2 included alongside the first game here was great news, and there’s some equally great news if you’re a vertical scrolling shmup fan with the amusingly-named Slapfight as well as the blinding Flying Shark included, both receiving great conversions, particularly the latter. Fans of close-quarters combat are accounted for with Rastan, Renegade, and Legend of Kage providing many hours of violence. Lastly, we have the immortal Bubble Bobble. The only thing that could’ve made this collection even better is the inclusion of The New Zealand Story! Taito Coin-Op Hits is, in my opinion, the Spectrum compilation with the consistently highest quality of games on it. I’d certainly be impressed if there’s any better!

G.I. Joe

G.I. Joe Arcade Screenshot - Title Screen

G.I. Joe

Sometimes you can look back at something you liked as a child only to find out it was not as good as you remember. Honestly, I don’t feel that way about G.I. Joe the cartoon, but I do feel that way about the arcade game.

Produced by Konami in 1992, G.I. Joe the arcade game was based on the toy and the cartoon of the same name. For the time the game had pretty awesome graphics and looked almost as good as the animation. The game was run and gun with the camera placed behind the Joe as you constantly ran toward your target. You could choose from four Joe’s, Duke, Scarlett, Roadblock and a Snake Eyes who could talk for some reason.

Your mission was to take out a ton of Cobra troops and you only had a machinegun with unlimited ammo and limited rockets to do so. As said the game had you always looking forward and you could only move to the left and right and had crosshairs to shoot at the onslaught of troops and vehicles. The good thing is most of the bad guys had no problem running past you and most of them did not shoot.

You can easily recognize many of the Cobra troops in the game from Vipers to B.A.T.S including vehicles. There are three missions and the first mission his broken into three parts. In part one you are in an oil field and face Tomax and Xamot in tank/helicopter hybrids. The next mission has you on an airfield and you face a rocket resistant Metal Head. Finally, you head to Cobra’s weapon plant and face the Baroness in a huge green bomber. The second mission starts out in a jungle where you face Major Bluud at the end. Next, you find the secret Cobra base and take on Destro. The end comes on Cobra Commanders giant aircraft carrier.

The gameplay is nothing new. You began with a standard machine gun and about three rockets. As you took out soldiers, vehicles and buildings, you could earn health, more rockets and an upgrade to your machine gun making it auto-fire and increasing the size of the crosshairs. If you were hit, you would lose your powered up gun and when you died, you would be given three rockets again. The arcade version allowed you to continue right where you died like most arcade games do. In G.I. Joe, it really did not matter if you killed everyone or just those in your way, but since you could not jump, you had to sometimes shoot obstacles or vehicles coming right at you.

Again, the gameplay itself was not special, but the use of sounds and animation from the television series made it a hit at the time. I always wondered about all those troops and vehicles that got away, but I guess that is how the Joe’s stayed in business.