Surviving College

Austin Says: Tips for Everyday Life
Surviving College.

Hello. My name is Austin and these are my tips for everyday life. These tips are about surviving in the college atmosphere. For those of you that are not from the US of A when I say college I mean wherever you go after grade school. For most of the rest of the world (and in actuality the United States) this is called University or Uni.
The first thing you should do is get to know your Dorm/Room/Flat/Suite mates. They are going to be your go-to guys for information on the school, parties and attractive females. It is also important that you get to know them because there’s a large chance that by the time you get here you still aren’t allowed to buy booze. I am willing to bet a fiver one of your mates can.

The next but just as important step is to get to know the tech guys on campus. The reason for this is very simple to understand. Almost every campus has an amazing internet connection. Almost every internet connection on every campus has some form of port blocking that stops anything from online games to torrent from working. Most of the tech guys can remove or alter the port blocking for your pc thus allowing you amazing speeds and amazing capabilities. It is vital that you get to know them.

The third thing you must do is the hardest: never, ever grow up. A lot of people go off to college as one person and come back as another. This is a horrible thing. Anytime you do something you should think “Would I have done then 6 months ago?” pokie magic if the answer is “no” then don’t do it! It is very vital that you don’t change. College is a people changing machine designed to produce what they believe is the ideal person. Don’t let them make you a puppet!

The fourth is to get to know an English professor. This is also very vital. A good English professor will not mind you constantly sending him papers for other classes to read over and proof read. This will improve your grades in other classes as you appear well read and educated. The best part of this tip is that no one else does it. No one else in your class is getting their papers edited by someone as smart as the professor so you will stand out as one of the brightest bulbs in the barrels. If bulbs came in barrels that is.

The fifth step is to pay very close attention to everything. If you are an auditorial learner then bring a boom mic and hold it over your teachers head the whole time. If you are a visual learner then ask your teacher to draw you diagrams when you are stuck on a subject. If you are a textile learner then write your notes over and over a hundred times until they stick.

The last step is to calm the hell down. Everyone gets nervous in college and it’s very natural. Try some breathing exercises and learn what makes you nervous in order to avoid it. If you can’t seem to calm down then take up smoking. While you might start getting nicotine withdrawals during class it will allow you to calm down before a test and while studying. Smoking forces you to breath in deep which in turn relaxes you.

If you follow all of these tips then a good career in college is almost guaranteed. Also guaranteed is cancer and liver failure.

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