Scambaiter – I want to be your representative, Harry!

Harry Jones was a good guy from China who wanted me to represent his business in England, how could I turn down an offer like that?

(21:03:35) harryjones_7: hello
(21:03:46) harryjones_7: i know u are there
(21:03:57) c64glen: I know I am here
(21:03:57) harryjones_7: we need to talk now
(21:05:00) c64glen: now?
(21:05:07) c64glen: sounds urgent
(21:05:22) harryjones_7: so when can we talk now
(21:05:34) c64glen: when can we talk now
(21:05:35) c64glen: yes
(21:06:03) harryjones_7: so we can talk now
(21:06:15) c64glen: I am talking now
(21:06:27) harryjones_7: good
(21:06:35) c64glen: yes, it is
(21:06:40) harryjones_7: i will like to send u the full details
(21:06:51) c64glen: ok, send away
(21:07:39) harryjones_7: ok, hold on why i send it now
(21:07:57) c64glen: why not
(21:08:20) harryjones_7: where are u from?
(21:08:29) c64glen: England
(21:08:41) harryjones_7: good, so i will be so happy if you will be our representative in england
(21:09:29) c64glen: really, how happy?
(21:10:28) harryjones_7: cos our company realy need a representative in england very urgent
(21:10:51) c64glen: right, ok. that sounds good
(21:11:14) harryjones_7: just hold on why i send the details now
(21:12:13) harryjones_7: are u there?
(21:12:19) c64glen: hang on
(21:12:24) c64glen: I’m just checking my email
(21:12:27) harryjones_7: have u recive it?
(21:12:33) c64glen: hang on
(21:13:04) harryjones_7: kindly go through it very slow so u could understand very good
(21:14:39) c64glen: ok, ok
(21:14:42) c64glen: I got it
(21:14:56) c64glen: so you is called “SUCCEED_TEXINDEX” ?
(21:15:35) harryjones_7: yes
(21:15:44) c64glen: what does that mean?
(21:16:02) harryjones_7: that is the name of the company
(21:16:27) c64glen: ok, it’s a strange name with an underscore and all
(21:16:41) c64glen: So, it’s a china company?
(21:16:50) harryjones_7: u mean the subject
(21:17:21) c64glen: So, it’s a china company?
(21:17:50) harryjones_7: yes, you can see it in the details and web site
(21:18:05) c64glen: but I thought you where from Darkest Africa
(21:19:06) harryjones_7: know
(21:19:11) harryjones_7: how?
(21:19:34) c64glen: because you said you were, didn’t you?
(21:20:03) harryjones_7: know
(21:20:07) harryjones_7: when?
(21:20:17) c64glen: what is ‘know’ ?
(21:20:28) harryjones_7: i mean no
(21:20:37) c64glen: say no then, it’s confusing
(21:20:44) c64glen: So you are from China?
(21:21:12) harryjones_7: yes
(21:21:32) harryjones_7: any problem
(21:21:35) c64glen: Cool. So you speak Chinese and everything?
(21:21:50) harryjones_7: yes
(21:21:53) c64glen: Eat Chinese Food?
(21:22:03) harryjones_7: with good english
(21:22:22) c64glen: You eat the English?!?!
(21:22:25) harryjones_7: have u gone through the details?
(21:22:34) c64glen: I’m going through them now
(21:22:40) harryjones_7: ok
(21:22:44) c64glen: So do you know Kung-Fu?
(21:22:45) harryjones_7: are married?
(21:22:57) harryjones_7: are u marriend?
(21:23:10) c64glen: Why, Harry? Are you going gay on me?
(21:23:13) harryjones_7: sorry pls i mean married
(21:23:24) harryjones_7: no
(21:23:27) harryjones_7: why that
(21:23:32) harryjones_7: am just asking
(21:23:38) c64glen: Because, you know that might not be a bad thing, you know
(21:23:42) c64glen: I’m just saying
(21:23:48) c64glen: So the Kung-Fu?
(21:24:06) harryjones_7: yes
(21:24:13) c64glen: You kick asses?
(21:24:44) harryjones_7: so do u like kung fu?
(21:25:23) c64glen: I like Bruce Lee, I think he could shit out Chuck Norris for Breakfast and then eat Vin Diesel in some sort of low fat brunch
(21:25:50) harryjones_7: realy
(21:26:20) c64glen: yes, very much so. He is the strongest of all the fighters, even Stronger than Hulk Hogan and the Ultimate Worrier
(21:26:38) harryjones_7: yes
(21:26:49) c64glen: Hang on, I’ve got to take a shit
(21:26:56) harryjones_7: let talk about business pls
(21:29:46) harryjones_7 just sent you a Buzz!
(21:37:53) c64glen: right I’m back
(21:38:01) harryjones_7: ok
(21:38:20) harryjones_7: so i belive you have gone through the details
(21:38:43) c64glen: I was looking at the picture
(21:39:06) c64glen: is that the factory?
(21:39:37) harryjones_7: i will like you to fill the information needed so that i could forward it to the board of directors and get back to you
(21:39:50) harryjones_7: yes that is the factory
(21:39:53) c64glen: away, harry. I’m asking the questions here.
(21:40:01) c64glen: Stop hurrying me
(21:40:07) c64glen: I want to get all this right, ok?
(21:40:08) harryjones_7: no problem
(21:40:26) c64glen: So you have lots of machines, but no people working them?
(21:40:34) c64glen: Are your machines mindless robots?
(21:40:42) harryjones_7: no
(21:40:46) harryjones_7: you are funn
(21:41:00) c64glen: This is very serious, Is there a possibility these machines could become evil?
(21:41:06) harryjones_7: that is just a pic of the factory
(21:41:31) c64glen: I have seen many things on the television about machines becoming evil and I think I would worry about that if I was a representative
(21:41:38) harryjones_7: i love some one like u so mucvh cos u ask a lovely question
(21:41:56) c64glen: thank you harry. I love you too
(21:41:58) c64glen: so moving on
(21:42:18) c64glen: “We make lots of supplies to some of our clients”
(21:42:28) c64glen: What supplies do you make?
(21:42:32) harryjones_7: i dont know what to say again cos a just laughhing over here
(21:42:46) harryjones_7: carpet rugs for now
(21:43:03) c64glen: I asure you I am not laughing this is very serious business for me
(21:43:17) c64glen: so Carpets, that is good.
(21:43:44) c64glen: Also, I note “Pls note you dont have to be a book keeper to apply for the job.”
(21:44:11) c64glen: I own some books will this be a problem?

Harry stopped talking to me after this, which is shame because it looked a like a really profitable business endeavour.

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J.A. Laraque

J.A. Laraque is a freelance writer and novelist. His passion for writing mixed with a comedic style and intelligent commentary has brought him success in his various endeavors. Whatever the subject, J.A. has an opinion on it and will present it in writing with an insight and flair that is both refreshing and informative.