New Terms: Kodak Kathy

Whores motivational poster

Kodak Kathy

 

Kodak Kathy
Awww she even tagged herself!

This is the person, usually a woman, of whom and as such at every concert, spends the ENTIRE time taking pictures of it.

She will do anything to get the perfect shot. Butt in front of you, kick high harry, etc…Kodak Kathy has a short term memory and thus must take pictures of everything to remember the good times. Little does she know, she wont remember the concert, just taking pictures of it. Usually spotted with camera held high in the air, pushing her way to the front of the stage to get that perfect shot, pissing off everyone in her warpath.

Is never a journalist. May be related to Middle of the Road Mel. Will see a photo album on her Facebook consisting of 54124 pictures from a single concert. If male, known as Cy the Photo Guy.

Nonchalant Nelson

Nonchalant Nelson
Nonchalant Nelson before the concert, prepping his lover's bags so she can look good in front of the Jonas Bros.

Would rather be anywhere else than this concert. He was dragged here by either Fratboy Slims, or his way out of his league girlfriend. In order to appease his wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy out of his league girlfriend, he bows to her every whim. This includes attending all the Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber concerts she wants to go to. He sucks it up because he knows he’ll never get anyone this hot, ever again.

Will never look you in the eye. Stands completely motionless entire concert. May or may not be one of the lovers. Probably a Modest Mouse fan.

Peach Fuzz Mexicans

Peach Fuzz Mexicans
Governor Jan Brewer holding a press conference banning peach fuzz mexicans from all electronic music

From Squire Fernando Jaramillo:

The dancing bastards who cant control their body movements to one centralized space, and instead spend more time crashing into you than dancing.

Thank you Fernando. These are the latino bastard children of the whirling dervish (cracked article) and middle of the road mel. Usually found closer to the front of the stage, and easily seen with peach fuzz all over their face since they can’t grow proper facial hair. Favorite bands are Juanes and Mana’, yet there they are at the VNV Nation concert. If they get in your way and piss you off, just yell LA MIGRA, and they’ll go away. Mortal enemy of High Harry, since they disturb his feng shui concert area and chi.

 

 

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J.A. Laraque

J.A. Laraque is a freelance writer and novelist. His passion for writing mixed with a comedic style and intelligent commentary has brought him success in his various endeavors. Whatever the subject, J.A. has an opinion on it and will present it in writing with an insight and flair that is both refreshing and informative.