Learning English

It’s time for an English Lesson, but it’s no normal English Lesson, it’s a learning video from Japan.

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Our Video starts with a Japanese girl in a poorly made set, which we can only guess is suppose to be a park somewhere is English speaking Land .

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She is talking to herself and appears to be very nervous about something

So worried is she, she gasps in shock at absolutely nothing happing, perhaps is she worried she is in a snuff movie and has seen the director taking his pants off.

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When she is finished gasping, a pathetic looking man with a hanky over his mouth comes and grabs her from behind. We shall call him ‘specky pathetic acting man’ from this point onwards.

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Another man walks over, but he seems to be having problems with this hanky. Perhaps he think it’s a pair of knickers. Maybe Japanese girl should be fearing the worst

Panty head (as he will henceforth be known) starts telling Japanese girl to be quiet so she screams.

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Just as Japanese girl doesn’t know what to do here comes the bizarre Japanese dancing girls to tell her what to do.

The base drum kicks in and the three hotties start hit some dance movies in times to their shouts of ‘Take anything you want’ in their thick Japanese accents.

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So we retune to Japanese girl who tells Panty hand to ‘Take anything you want’. Which is perhaps not the best advice to someone who looks very like a sex criminal.

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‘Hand me your bag’ panty head tells Japanese girl in his foreign friendly voice.

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Japanese girl is starting to get even more worried probably because this type of behaviour is considered foreplay in most Japanese movies (at least the ones, I’ve seen)

She hands over bang and while panty head is struggling to open it she attempts to run away, but specky pathetic acting man manages to keep hold of her.

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Panty head to tell her not to move, again he is kind enough to speak slowly and clearly so she can understand, if only all robbers were as considerate to foreign tourists.

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‘If you do, I’ll kill you!’ continues Panty head while showing off his tiny weapon.

What is Japanese Girl to do or say?

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Fortunately the bizarre dancing girls are back.

It’s the same tune, but it’s different word and a different dance. While the girls shout ‘Spare me my life’ they jump in the air while moving one foot forward and one foot backwards, change the feet each jump.

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Now we a greet with a new set, with a random cop and his amazing desk which has a lamp and some paper on it. Japanese girls runs on to set shouting, perhaps asking what happened to the rest of the police station.

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‘What’s the matter?’ random cops asks her. This prompts Japanese girl to start screaming at him in Japanese, has she learnt nothing from the bizarre dancing girls?

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‘Calm Down and speak slowly’, random cop tells Japanese girl. I would have thought ‘Calm Down and speak slowly in English’ would have been a better instruction as Japanese girl calms down (for almost a complete sentence) and then speaks slowly in Japanese.

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The bizarre dancing girls are back for the last time. Again it’s the same tune but this time the have to shout and dance to four words instead of six which is a change the manage with admirable ease except for the fact it sounds like they are shouting ‘I was rubbed by two men’.

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The bizarre dancing girls fade out, and we a greeted by a strange bald man standing in front of a medical diagram of the human body.

He says ‘I was rubbed by two men’ in perfect English and then continues in speak in perfect Japanese, before disappearing as mysteriously has he appeared.

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Unfortunately the video comes to an end before we actually hear Japanese girl actually tell the random cop she was robbed by two men. I’m not sure she could.

I’ve made an attempt to tell you how good this video is, but I think it needs to be seen to be believed.

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