Derek Coleman’s quest to save the planet.

“Its about today’s I’m interested in actually, the bank you say? Are sure? Do banks usually address there customers as Superman?”

Derek’s brain went into turbo, “no-way he could of monitored the call, he was standing the other side of the room, next to Alan, his new Deputy Team Leader, do they record all out-going calls now? There must be hundreds. No chance Kent would of listened to a recording, he’s too busy showing Alan the rope’s. Showing Alan the ropes, showing Alan what to do, like time sheets and reporting and monitoring calls.” Fuck.

“Oh that call, yeah look, it was joke call, I’ll make it up tomorrow, I’ll…”

“A Joke call?” Kent interrupted. “You know FET’s policy on personal calls. Emergency only and even then with a Team Leaders permission, nowhere does it mention joke calls, Look Derek, you’ve been here 3 years, your this close to becoming a senior agent. Senior. Agent. But how can I bump you up to senior after this, how Derek. How? ” .

Derek thought for a moment “You could change my name plate to “Derek Coleman, Senior Agent” because as far as I can see that’s the only difference between an agent and a senior agent”.

“That’s a disappointing reply, Derek, disappointing and inaccurate, as senior you would be focal point in the team, an inspiration to the newer agents, and it is one step from deputy team leader” replied Kent.

Derek looked at his watch. He was going to be late, not that it mattered that much, Dave would be at least 20 minutes late due to his almost passionate indifference towards timekeeping, but still this was not a typical Kentian bollocking which lasted 5 seconds and was forgotten about even quicker, something was different, Derek scanned the surroundings and quickly realised the reason for extra drama. Sitting in the desk opposite was Alan, the new DTL, studiously not looking at either of them. Brian the bastard, he was showing the new man how to a run a tight a ship, its Bollocking 101 and he was the subject. “Right”, Derek thought “I’ve got 2 options, make Brian look like a twat in front of his new DTL and be late, or play along with this, get it over with in a few seconds, get out of here and save the planet.

Not really a decision.

“Look Mr. Kent, you know I would not do anything to jeopardise my dream of becoming senior, but that joke phone call I made cheered up a man who has recently lost his wife, in doing so he has agreed to go out for a quiet drink with me tonight, the first time since she passed on, and hopefully start to live his life again, now as I understand FET’s policy on unauthorised personal calls it’s a disciplinary with my immediate supervisor and his manager, in this case, you and Sandra Bellsing, whom I believe recently returned to work after a long period of sickness, depression the email said. I’m fully prepared to face the consequences of my actions.”

In under 5 seconds Kent did the social and political calculations, ran several scenario’s of how the meeting would go and in all case’s he came out a tit in front of his boss, even factoring in how this would look in front of his new DTL whom only minutes ago he had a promised a “firework display” his decision was even easier than Derek’s; “I don’t think we need to invoke the full powers of FET’s disciplinary might in this instance Mr. Coleman, especially as you clearly have mitigating circumstance’s, in future please let me know when you are putting your Samaritans hat on, ok?”
“Message received” Derek turned and walked towards the shiny exit sign.
“Who you having a drink with tonight Derek?” Kent called after him.
“Dave Filey” Derek smoothly answered.
“Right, Dave, give him my condolence’s”
“Will do Mr.Kent, will do”

And with that Derek was out.

Its interesting to note that it will not be until Kent sees Dave Filey on the Six o’clock news some 3 weeks later that he remembers he had met Dave, at the last Christmas Party, at which Dave had explained, at length, the virtues of bachelorhood, but by this time Derek was as far from the claws of FET’s judicial system, Derek, had just saved the planet.

Derek Coleman’s quest to save the planet is a weekly serial. Catch the next part next week

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J.A. Laraque

J.A. Laraque is a freelance writer and novelist. His passion for writing mixed with a comedic style and intelligent commentary has brought him success in his various endeavors. Whatever the subject, J.A. has an opinion on it and will present it in writing with an insight and flair that is both refreshing and informative.