Ask the Fucking Professor

Welcome to Ask the Fucking Professor. If you have a question or a problem that cannot be answered by anyone, do not despair, you can always Ask the Professor! If Professor Lazarus can’t find the answer then there probably isn’t one.

3 Films bruce willis has saved the world in?
kal

6th Sense – By helping the little boy accept his talent he stopped him using his talents to become a manelovent dictator who eventualy triggers world war 3

The Remake of “The day of the Jackel” – By killing the Jack Black character he stopped him using his talents to become a manelovent dictator who eventualy triggers world war 3

Rugrats go Wild (he played the voice of spike) – By raping and mauling to death Tommy Pickles he stopped him using his talents to become a manelovent baby who eventualy triggers world war 3

How come religious fundamentalists are so blind to logic and reason, that they are doing their best to destroy the planet in the name of stupidity and infantile superstition?
Steven

I agree, they should leave the mass destruction to the experts. I recently attended a terrorist seminar on “How to destroy the planet” and found a lot of their suggestion laughable, really “We should drive a truck into a military compound and blow it up” for fucks sake the French where doing that in 2nd world war. If they really wanted to make a mark they should use my Moon Ray, which focusus nuclearation energy into a tight beam which, when fired at the moon, would cause massive tsunamis and hurricans, I have been testing this over the last couple of years to great success.

Let me know your email address, we can get together and discuss more efficient ways of ending the world. (We could start by killing that Bruce Willis, fuckers always spoiling our fun)

Why is that in order for a man do actually do something you ask, you have to constantly remind him what you want doing until you turn into an old nag hag?
Mamma Jamma

If men just simply done the task the first time they were asked then us women would not have to be constantly harrasing them until the job is done

As previously discussed, the male mind and the female mind are set-up completly different.

A mans code looks a little bit like this

10 Think About Boobs.
20 Think about Eating.
30 Do things that I enjoy
40 Ignore things that I do not enjoy
40 Nod head
50 GOTO 10

Sadly this is hard coded, and to add further instructions is a complete waste of time. So in order to get any work out them you need to utililise the loop hole in line 30, instead of saying “wash the car” which would clearly be covered by line 40 simply say “Can you clean the car so it looks more valuable when we go out to look for a new car this afternoon” which would then be covered by line 30 and done instantly.

Simiarly instead of saying “do the hoovering” say “can you hoover the frontroom so it looks nice for the swingers party I am thinking about hosting” which would be cover by commands 10,20 and 30.

Do not worry about following through on any of these promises as line 10 takes up around 99.8% of his CPU usage.

Mmm, could be. If you have a question for the Professor, send an email to Professor@ObscureInternet.com or post it in the forum

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