MySpace Interview – Roy Stone

So, who are you anyway?

Roy Stone, lead guitar and vocals on the Roy Stone material, also lead guitar with new Band Conquest, previously played with Free Spirit and Von Eist. A speed lead guitar player, consentrating on speed licks and feel rather than fast tracks, although there are a few fast Roy Stone tracks, Passion to mention one, check out and MySpace for more info on Roy Stone and Conquest, Gigs and recording, hundreds of pictures on the myspace page too!

I write and record many, many Rock/ Metal songs, there is a box with 150 DAT tapes each with an original demo on it, a hard drive that needs recovering with 65 tracks on it and 35 tracks on the current studio drive. Any serious London Rock Metal Drummers who fancy recording 200 songs and performing live should definitely contacting me. I sing and play live but am always glad of a stand up singer, such as Kevin Eardley in Conquest, my main instrument is the BC Rich of which I currently have 3, I love the tone, the action and the Rock/ Metal based pick up sound and controls, I am a bit of a speed king on these things, they are part of me and I love playing them to the point of possibly being obsessive.

I have my own small digital studio and make tracks from start to finish, although live performance is the biggest thing for me, the recording is the nitty gritty work and the only true communication medium for music. I am a keen member of the local rock club in London, the Rock Matrix and I do one man lead guitar lead guitar thrash outs for them, as well as Band Gigs with Conquest, who I have played all over the UK with this year. I like to party big time and I am very well known round Londons Rock Scene.

Describe your sound for us.

My current sound is actually a copy of a sound from a rack electronic unit that I couldn’t use due to a bass tone that rattled the speakers on hi-fi and headphones. What’s strange is that the copied sound is better, especially live. I have had some rather over effected sounds in the past, but I am over the gadget buzz now, and am happy with the glorious Metal sound I have presently, and won’t change for as long while, as long as I have my BC Richs I suppose.

So you rate yourself then?

Possibly the fastest lead guitar in the world (but not the fastest songs in the world)!

Who are your influences?

Popular commercial Rock and Metal, Alice Cooper, Aerosmith, Metallica and whatever plays around the clubs. I love Metal generally.

Tell us one of your musical secrets.

I use a bit of fuel pipe from one of those engined radio controlled cars to make the Tremelo arm stay in place, ha ha!

What’s in the future?

Endless recording and gigs.

What’s your claim to fame?

I am Roy Stone of course!!!

Musically, where do you see yourself in 10 years time?

I am an immovable object, I will be recording and playing Metal.

Myspace or Facebook?

Facebook kicked me out for publicising my band, so Myspace wins for me.

Picturebox – Jennifer’s Brother

We have another bit of music from you. This time it’s Jennifer’s Brother by Picturebox, here is Robert of PictureBox to tell us all more 

I wrote this song following a conversation with a former local web designer named Jen. She told me about her brother who was (and still is) in a band. She said he doesn’t do songs, he “makes noises”. She explained he’s a member of the band Cementimental who play on the London circuit bending scene. When I looked them up on MySpace I was particularly impressed by the photos of him with a striking Samurai style box on his head. I thought this was all good subject matter for a song so I went and wrote it. Jennifer’s brother has heard it and he’s proud to be the song’s inspiration! You can see Cementimental on MySpace. You can also see Jen’s handiwork as she designed our profile for us.

[audio:Picturebox – Jennifers Brother.MP3]

J.A. Cares: MySpace Angles

MySpace Angles Motivational Poster

It is 2009; we have a black president, a black head of the RNC and a black attorney general. If you did not know this, these three things are the signs of the apocalypse and our end will come soon (2012), but before that time comes, I, your black internet physiatrist, J.A. Laraque am here to care and continue helping the fans of Obscure Internet with any and all issues.

Kandy Preston from Chicago Illinois writes:

Dear J.A.,

My name is Kandy and even though my name sounds sweet finding a date has left me with a sour taste in my mouth. This is my problem. I don’t like to get out so I do my dating online. I try not to be superficial, but I have run into too many men who take pictures of themselves using MySpace angles.

In case you don’t know what a MySpace angle is, it is when you take a picture to hide your fat and ugly. My question to you is why people can’t be honest about their body and their looks. It’s bad enough you don’t know much about people you meet online besides their picture and now their pictures are not a true representation of themselves.

J.A. can you tell me how wide spread this is? Are all these pictures doctored? Is there any truth on the internet?

First let me just say that most girls I know named Kandy are either hookers or really, really….large. Anyway, to answer your question, no, there is no truth on the internet. The internet, like the cake, is a lie.

I myself was unaware of MySpace angles until setup on a date. I learned that the camera can be used to deceive, not only others, but the opinions of the people in the picture. You can take enough of these pictures to where you look at them and think you look good, but you would be sadly mistaken.

Personally, I have seen people make a dating profile using an old picture and truly it sucks especially when it is clearly an old picture. When you see one of those old Motorola brick phone in the background and you are not in some cell phone museum it’s time to update those pictures.

Also, I have come across people whose main profile picture is a head shot but their additional pictures show the body. It’s not quite bait and switch, but I figure it’s best to just let people know what you look like up front. Perhaps these people feel happy that someone clicked on their profile even if only to be shocked when they look at their additional pictures. It’s like that website that tells you to stare at a blank screen then it plays a loud scream scaring the crap out of you.

I wish I had some good news for you Kandy but alas I do not. The internet is full of fail and honestly if you are searching it looking for a date then most likely you are also full of fail. The best thing to do is look at yourself in the mirror, preferably naked. If you feel like you are about to vomit then you should not be concerned about MySpace angles since you are in fact one yourself.

However, if you are hot, for god sakes get off the internet and hit the bar like the rest of humanity. See in the bar there are MySpace angles too, the difference is these angles hide things like financial debt, lack of an education and personality and their STD’s

Have fun!

P.S. I just realized your name is Kandy and you said sour taste in your mouth. I had a great joke to use, but Obama told me to be nice.

MySpace Interview – Picturebox

So, who are you anyway?

We are Picturebox. There are 5 of us from around Canterbury. Ben, Dave, Mark and me have been together for about 3 years Emily joined us in the autumn.

Describe your sound for us.

I’d say we do melodic songs. Pop songs. Some people have described them as “quirky”. Someone said the lyrics are “quintessentially English”. Hopefully, they’re good songs with strong tunes.

So you rate yourself then?

I don’t know. Sometimes. On a good day, maybe. There are some things about us which some people like.

Who are your influences?

Belle and Sebastian, Bob Dylan, The Beatles, Sufjan Stevens, Brian Wilson, Neil Young… Bassist Dave claims to hate The Beatles though. I love them, myself. The White Album is my favourite by anyone.

Tell us one of your musical secrets.

Secrets? Like advice? Be true to yourself. At the same time, never be afraid to nick a good idea- in a post-modern, referencing, homage sense. Change it a bit too, though.

What’s in the future?

In the future we will have more songs, better songs, better harmonies, better lyrics. Everything is going to get better all the time. The immediate future is 3 gigs and our first studio recordings in the next few weeks.

What’s your claim to fame?

My dad had a phone that belonged to Peter Sellers. I once saw Roger McGough on a train. Any good?

Musically, where do you see yourself in 10 years time?

In 10 years time we want to be on a nice friendly label putting out CDs for anyone who’s interested. Doing some tours would be good too.

Myspace or Facebook?

MySpace. Facebook died for me when they scrapped Scrabulous.

The Benz – Boy Racers

This weeks music is ‘Boy Racers’ kindly provided by The Benz

This song is one of the first songs the band, as a full band, came up with.  It’s always been in the set from our first gigs to now.  This song is always asked for by people who have seen us before, even if we have played it in the set.  

The song is about remembering the times we spent in our younger days getting pissed or off our cases, goin round robbing cars and joy riding the hell out of them. Thats about it really as you can tell from the lyrics of the song.

[audio:The Benz – Boy Racers.mp3]

MySpace Interview – The Benz

So, who are you anyway?

We are the BENZ a group formed in the red-brick city of Liverpool.

Describe your sound for us.

Our sound can be said to “Be REInVenting the MERSEYBEAT”

So you rate yourself then?

We rate ourselves as the saviour of not just rock but all Music.

Who are your influences?

Our influences are great and small.

Tell us one of your musical secrets.

Our musical secrets are that we have robbed every band we know in some shape, way or form.

What’s your claim to fame?

Our claim to fame is pulling strings behind every election that has ever taken place.

Musically, where do you see yourself in 10 years time?

Musically in 10 years time we will be so far advanced that we may even have gone back in time.

Myspace or Facebook?

Myspace is the original and best like us.

F@#K! The 7 rudest twitter account names

We keep hearing that Twitter is going to be the big thing in 2009, so I imagine people will be trying to quickly grab an account with their favourite user name as fast as they can. Of course as Twitter has been going for a few years now a lot of those users names will have been taken already. I thought I would take the opportunity to check out the seven rudest words (using George Carlin’s The Seven Words You Can Never Say On TV) to see if those account names had been taken.

You can’t beat a good shit to start with. Crappy puns aside this is possibly a good name and very accurate name for a lot of twitter accounts (mine included), however the owner of this account as both choosen to not created any updates but to hide this non-existing updates.

This is account is acctaully in use, by (what looks like) a japanese person. I don’t know if Piss mean something completely diffirent in Japanese, but the Bio “Too Fast to Piss” does nothing but confuse the issue. Unless the account was registered by a Japanese Billy Whizz

Possibly the most indemand sweary user name in history, with such an offensive and overused word the possibilities are endless. So what does the owner of Fuck go and do? He protects the account and and doesn’t use it. No following, no followers, and no updates. Well done, Dan, You fuck.

Ah, no for my favourite swear word, as it’s the one that annoyies the wife the most. This looked like it was snapped up by the charming Mr Cunt back in May 2007, but got bored with it six minutes later. Well at least he give it a good try.

The ulimate account for ‘Deadwood’ Fans, in fact it’s if the show was still running I wouldn’t have been surprised if HBO registered the account to promote the show. However the cocksuck who did bother to register it, departed after a couple of updates. Fuck you, indeed, Cocksucker.

Since the word that is a big hit with Librarians and Samuel L. Jackson fans, it’s surprising that the mother fucker who owns this account couldn’t think of anything interesting to do with it.

Has been suspended. Is this a sad waste or perhaps the picture of the owl is just a clever set up a great hooters gag?

If you have a twitter account you can follow ObscureInternet or me, if you really wanted to. Just remember No swearing, unless it’s funny.

Review – Remix64 V3 Syntax Error

This album has a very different and fabulous concept, it combines famous 1980s tracks such as 19, Two Tribes, Too Shy, Billy Jean, Broken Wings and I Feel Love along with music from the Commodore 64 home computer. Tracks such as BMX Kidz, Comic Bakery, Sanxion, Arkanoid and Ghouls and Ghosts, resulting in completely new tracks which surprisingly use no samples from the originals.

The CD comes from Remix64, which is a website based community of people who write Commodore 64 and Amiga music remixes, and is available to purchase exclusively on  When you purchase the album, you also get instant access to DRM-free downloads of all the tracks while you wait for the CD to arrive.

When you do get the CD, the first thing that strikes you is the excellent cover design, complete with the ultimate icon of the eighties – The Rubik’s Cube.

This CD is targeted at those who grew up during the eighties, listening to pop music and playing on their Commodore 64s. I’m not sure I fit that target audience, because I missed a lot of music in the 80s because I was too busy playing with my ’64 and didn’t really discover pop music until the late 80s’s/early 90s.

The main thing about this album, is it mixes these tracks, which makes this the album’s biggest selling point, as well as it’s biggest weakness.

I’ll give a brief review of each track below;

BMX Kidz

This is probably not the best tune to open with as, rather than a gentle introduction of the concept  it is a bit of awkward mix of the two tunes it is based on.  I am a big fan of both Rob Hubbard’s BMX Kidz and Paul Hardcastle’s “19”, but when they are combined we get something not as good as either tune.

Jethro Walrus

I’m not familiar with either source material, having not played Jethro Walrus or being able to remember Speak ‘n’ Spell by Depeche Mode. However this is a fun track with amusing lyrics, very much like Makke’s excellent Lazy Jones remix.. 

Comic Bakery

Comic Bakery mixed with “Broken Wings” by Mr. Mister shouldn’t work, but it does.  It’s a nice laid back, excellently produced track.

Flight Path 737

Flight Path 737 is not a tune I remember, so all I can interpret from this track is Art of Noise’s “Moments In Love”, which the end tune is very much like. Even without knowning either of the original source trakcs, It’s a fantastic sounding track

Ghouls and Ghosts

This is a great track, mixing “Ghouls ‘n Ghosts” with Michael Jackson’s “Billie Jean” works surprisingly well, resulting in a fun track.

Why Me

I don’t know either original track and not to fond of this track either, but I guess funk just isn’t my thing…


A highlight, somehow squeezing GemX into Milli Vanilli’s “Girl You Know It’s True” produces a great track that is so catchy it makes me want to do the Milli Vanilli dance!

Formula One Simulator

Formula 1 Simulator, in the style of “Two Tribes” by Frankie Goes To Hollywood is another good mix. The track also features a strangle vocal from Alistair “Boz” Bowness and a sample Hubbard talking about the c64.


Another great track.  The outstanding thing about this mix of “Tusker” and “Sisters of Mercy” by Black Planet, is brilliant and includes funny lyrics from Slaygon. Any song with the lyric ‘it’s like last ninja in Alaska” is always going to be well worth a listen


Next up is “Sanxion”, in the style of Donna Summers’ “I Feel Love”. Technically it works, the songs mix together well, but there is no real soul here and nothing to get too excited about.

Crazy Comets

The up-tempo LaserDance stylings of Crazy Comets from Sonic Wanderer, can be descibed as a lively upbeat track.


Now this track, unlike coffee, really is a prefect blend. A prefect blend of Arkanoid and “The Message” by Grandmaster Flash, rather than coffee, obviously.

Ace II

The original ACE II is another track that occupies a place in my heart, so I was a bit disappointed when I heard this in the style of “Strangelove” by Depeche Mode. I thought the track was a little too slow and overpowered by the vocals.


This is quite a simple mix of “Blackmail” by PowerTrace with some samples from Black Box/Disco added. That being said, it works really well and is a good track.


Now the Shamen’s “Move Any Mountain” is a track I am familiar with, mainly because it’s an early 90s track and not an 80s track, but I’ll forgive them all that because as soon I heard the “Shoot to kill, become a dominator” hook, as then this became my favourite track on the album.

Aspar GP Master

Romeo Knight manages the impossible on this track; he makes Kajagoogoo sound cool.  It’s another case of this shouldn’t work, but somehow adding Kajagoogoo’s “Too Shy” to Aspar GP Master gives a poppy, fun track.

Only You-Monotron/Vince Clarke

The final track on the album is a Commodore 64 style remix of Yazoo’s “Only You” with some great vocals from Eliza Zoot

In conclusion, a large number of tracks on the CD work very well. This album was an ambitious project and one that can be described as a great achievement and one that deserves congratulations. 

This CD has been put together with a lot of love and affection for both the 80s and the C64 music, and fans of either music should definitely check this out.

The Definition of Appreciation


Whether being bombarded by magazines flashing article or if you are unlucky enough to turn on your television during the day time, you will always hear the same advice on sustaining a meaningful relationship.

Communication is the key to show her your appreciation. While this breakthrough in advice is definitely compelling, what one has to ask oneself is what exactly the definition of appreciation is.

Let us take a look behind the curtain at one couples quandary. A loving married couple is approaching their joyous first anniversary. The husband, while a kind, responsible and patient man, does not believe in the mandatory requirements and rules when dealing with celebratory events. Simply put, his belief is: why wait for a specific date to celebrate something when you should be celebrating it every day.

The wife, who is self-sufficient, highly intelligent and confrontational, did not agree. Her view was that these events were about the sentiment and specifically when concerning an anniversary; it was a day to reflect on your love and appreciation for one another.

Counterpoint husband, for him every day was a day for reflection. Just as a true religious person does not only visit his or hers place of worship on Christmas or Easter; true love is not something you revisit only on anniversaries and holidays; it is there twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week and three hundred and sixty five days a year.

I sat quietly in anticipation, like a teen boy watching his sexy neighbor undress from his bedroom window. The wife’s retort was less than stellar. In her view you can love someone with all your heart, but that does not mean on special days you cannot go the extra mile. In her opinion, giving gifts along with a romantic gesture showed appreciation.

The husband’s final attack was in saying that material gifts could never replace the gift one has when there are with the one they love. When you have food in your belly, a roof over your head and a warm body to sleep next to, those are the best gifts you could ever have. She ended (and won) the debate by saying that if that is the case then sex should be limited to when both parties are ready and willing to perform. This drew a silence from the room and just like when your sexy neighbor closed the blinds the show was over.

Here’s my take. You want to talk about appreciation, fine. Remember that time you came home from and you were madder at the world than a teen emo band? When I asked what was wrong you gave me an evil look and the silent treatment. Later that afternoon when I figured I must have done something wrong and like a mobster in church, confessed and apologized for everything I could have possible done, it only increased you hormone-induced rage.

Finally, when I ask what the issue was, you became even more upset because I should have known what was wrong. Then late at night after being around an active volcano all evening you finally start talking about some co-worker of yours named Cindy.

You tell me a story I don’t understand, and when you are done you have this look on your face like all has been revealed and I should now be as angry as you are. After noticing the blank look on my face you get angry again, telling me that I should have remembered the first story about Cindy you told me over six months ago when you came home all upset and this was part two of the never-ending saga.

At that moment in time, after realizing that all this anger was over some co-workers life that you have absolutely no involvement in I wanted to just get out of bed, grab my coat and head off to Las Vegas, but instead I kissed you and went to bed.

That is the definition of appreciation, in that I understand that you are insane, but even as crazy as you are I am grateful to have you and you are a part of my life (like that crazy uncle I have) and because of that I love you as you are and most importantly, I put up with all your crap.