Top Five Ugliest Cars

Tata Nano

Tata Nano
Created by Indian company, Tata, the Nano is currently the cheapest car in the world to buy brand new. As you might imagine, it’s specs reflect that, with a 624cc engine which generates a mere 35bhp, and it only has the absolute minimum of interior features. The boot doesn’t even open – it has to be accessed from inside the car! All this is understandable for its price though, but did they really have to make it look so hideous?
Fiat Multipla
Fiat Multipla
Good old Fiat. They’re never ones to make conventional-looking vehicles, are they? I guess they’re relying on the old “Oh, it’s Italian, it must be artistic!” cliche. Well sorry Fiat, but this offering is a monstrosity! What’s with the bit under the windscreen? Granted, the second-generation model looks a lot nicer and does away with this weird bit but still! This version regularly appears on ‘ugly car’ polls and with good reason – the Multipla is a MultiFAIL!

Ford Ka

Ford Ka
I was a bit surprised when I first saw this stupid thing from Ford. Their cars are usually decent enough, if unspectacular, but this pretentiously-named ‘Ka’ (definitely NOT pronounced the same as ‘Car’ by me) looks like a wedge of cheese balanced on marbles! The ‘Sport’ Ka and ‘Street’ Ka (both all of 93bhp) look even more annoying. Like the Fiat, however, the new version of the Ka is a vast improvement.
Citroen 2CV
Citroen 2CV
This post-WW2 designed car was a monument to minimalism, and very typically French. It’s practicality is to be begrudgingly respected but as a modern car it’s just ridiculous! The headlights stick out on little stalks, the roof is a bit of cloth that you can push back, the wheels are about 2 inches wide, the windows don’t open but instead fold in half… It’s just such a horrible little car. It was orginially designed as an “umbrella on wheels” to take French farmers to market and back. You know what? They should’ve kept it to themselves!

Smart

Smart car
Well, after many, many years as my most hated car, if the Citroen 2CV was ever to be toppled from its lofty perch, it would take something very special. So step forward… Mercedes? How can the designers of some of the automobile world’s finest vehicles be responsible for this… I can’t even find the words to describe it! This… affront to all that exists! But yes, sadly it’s true. Mercedes, in collaboration with Swatch (they of weird wristwatches) unveiled this in 1998 and the world has been a worse place since. If aliens made first contact with Humans, out of all the things in the world, out of all the things we’ve been responsible for, this pathetic thing is what I’d be most embarrassed by. Plus, if you crash in one at speed, you’re screwed!

 

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J.A. Laraque

J.A. Laraque is a freelance writer and novelist. His passion for writing mixed with a comedic style and intelligent commentary has brought him success in his various endeavors. Whatever the subject, J.A. has an opinion on it and will present it in writing with an insight and flair that is both refreshing and informative.

5 thoughts on “Top Five Ugliest Cars

  • March 22, 2011 at 12:32 PM
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    Dude, those are awful… just another reason NOT to live in Europe (minus the Smart Car)

  • March 22, 2011 at 12:59 PM
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    Tiny driving trash cans… but at least they don’t get 0 miles per gallon like trucks and SUVs in America.

  • March 23, 2011 at 3:07 PM
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    The 2CV is a classic. It was simple, efficient and affordable. It’s what the Smart cars are trying to be today. But that doesn’t help my argument too much.

  • April 1, 2011 at 1:27 PM
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    The Fiat Multipla just is so bizzare.

  • February 22, 2012 at 10:42 AM
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    Yay – I’ve owned two out of the five – one of them in two different versions.

    The Ka (pronounced the same as the the ‘ka’ in Vodka – Vodka = little water, Ford Ka = little Ford, see?) wasa a cheap little thing that has a design that still looks quite fresh. To suggest the SportKa is weedy with 93bhp is to miss the point entirely; it was fast enough to use ont he road and the handling was sublime, as was the gearbox – a joy to drive on winding roads, but not designed to be at its best on long straight roads (although I used to regualrly drive mine on 200 mile trips).

    The Multipla is not supposed to be ‘artisitic’ it was designed to be practical, which it is. Tell me another car that is shorter than a Golf, can seat 6 people and have room for their luggage, can do 45mpg (imperial) and that can also seat three people and have room in the back for tons of luggage, bikes and all sorts. You can also park in anywhere because no-one wants to steal one, and you can buy one used for almost nothing. It’s the perfect family car, and it also handles pretty tidily because it is wide and has a wheel at each corner.

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