paul – Obsolete Gamer

This is the Reverend Doctor Paul. We gather here today to pay our respects to our honored dead, The Data Memorial award, presented to films with the absolute worst endings ever. Let us start with a prayer. Oh Lord, hear our prayers, these movies know not what they do. They were good movies, faithful movies, yet sins kept them from maintianing sanctity, in this weary world. Tonight we first pay tribute to the finale of a fine trilogy, a pure trilogy, the first Data Memorial award goes to…..

Game Reviews

J.A. Laraque

The PFI Tripe: Video Game Movie Awards

NOTHING however can top the ending. She reaches the top of Tony Robbins' pyramid first, grabs hold of Tinkerbell. All of a sudden, the ice cave stars to collapse. She finds SNOW DOGS, and she sleighs her way out of the collapsing ice cave, SMILING and laughing the entire time. At this point I too was smiling and laughing, that the movie was OVER and that I can go home and do something more constructive with my time, like watch the chia pet grow. I hear the sequel is actually worse, I might just see it only to put it in these awards. Hey Pac Man, you saw Lara Croft: Tomb Raider, what did you think?

Game Reviews

J.A. Laraque

The PFI Tripe Awards: Volume 1

The infamous love triangle in Pearl Harbor featured three idiotic characters SO UNLIKABLE that you WANTED the JAPANESE to BOMB THEM. NOBODY liked the love triangle. RAINBOWS AND BUTTERFLIES HATED IT. To make matters worse, the movie was over 2.5 hours, AND THE ROMANTIC TRIPE TOOK UP 3/4ths OF THE MOVIE. To give credit where credit is due, the actual attack sequence is one of the most amazing scenes ever filmed, which is why it PAINS me to give this movie the waste management award.