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Mega64: Heavy Rain
These guys make excellent parody videos where they take what you would do in a game and act it out in real life.
Here is their latest video on the game, Heavy Rain.
Ah, what is the old joke about video gamers and lack of sex? Perhaps this is why many of the women in video games are created in a manner that is FAPP worthy. When video games changed from just a single screen to multiple storylines with music and a movie-like quality it was the perfect opportunity to add sex to the mix.
In the past one would have to buy a specific adult game for the PC and the very few console systems that offered them. There was also innuendo in many games and the quick flash of sexiness here or there. In the classic Leisure Suit Larry sexy was used as a pun and though the game did have sex scenes it was kept mostly out of view.
Today with CGI and video game budgets that rival big budget movies the sex scene has just about reached the peak of where it can go without requiring an X rating. For the most part sex in games are used to create intimacy between characters, but sometimes it becomes a major selling point or point of debate for critics. Let’s take a look at various sex scenes from video games and you decide if it added to the game in the positive or the negative.
Content Warning: Some of the scenes may not be appropriate for children!
Leisure Suit Larry 3
You have to start with the king. Larry brought sex and innuendo to PC gamers everywhere and the best thing is the game was fun to play. Poor Larry always ended up in some humiliating and sometimes deadly situations, but he also scored from time to time along the way. Of course the sex scenes were hidden in some way, but it was pretty clear what was going on.
If the world is going to come to an end the thing you have to do is have sex. Honestly, it does not matter if you are on a freezing train or the guy might be a zombie you need to get your freak on. This scene took it up a notch with the boob shot and the distance butt shot giving you the skinamax experience.
Custer’s Last Stand
I really don’t know what to say about this game. Your job is to get to the Native American girl by avoiding arrows and then you are to have sex with her and you control the sex with the Atari joystick which is just a whole other issue altogether. The problem with this game and there are many is that you have to consider that if they are trying to stop you then you should not be having sex with this girl. Then again she is naked and standing there waiting for you. You have to check out the commentary on this video as well it is awesome.
God of War III
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Kratos is truly a pimp. When you are battling the God’s and duck into a room full of half-naked women the thing to do is take a break and work out some stress. This is the male ego at its finest as we get a shot of two other half-naked women talking about how good Kratos is at laying the pipe. Perhaps I should say laying the sword as it sounds as if he is hacking her to death with a blade.
Mass Effect 2
Everyone talked so much about having sex with the blue alien you know they have to double their efforts for part two. Here we get two difference scenes and to their credit you do have to work to get them to sleep with you. In ME2 you get your choice or blue or white it’s the UN of sex out there in space.
The ultimate in interactive sex scenes, ok, it’s not the ultimate, but considering it is not an adult game where the only goal is to have sex it is interesting that you have to make the moves yourself. I don’t know what happens if you screw up like if you snap her bra or something. I really think they should add that. If you mess up she gets mad and wants to leave and you have to convince her to stay and start all over. If you screw up to many times she leaves and that’s it, or you get a crying while masturbating in the shower mini-game. Hey this can help the socially awkward.
Cold Shower Time
There are a few more sex scenes out there but there is only so much one should visually consume in one day. Also, I know a bunch of you are reading this from work and IT is already onto you and I don’t want to be blamed for your termination. See ya next week!
We have a Facebook series called Video Game Motivation posters where we upload a new motivational or de-motivational poster each weekday. For this new series we will take it a bit farther and only present one poster originally created by the Obsolete Gamer team (at least we hope it’s original) and accompany it with information and maybe some video.
This week’s MM is dedicated to the Shower Scene. Now shower scenes have been popular in thrillers and horror films going back to the days of black and white. One of the most famous shower scenes is the one from the horror movie Psycho.
I mean who doesn’t feel at least a little bit vulnerable in the shower? Besides us in horror films the shower scene is also used in love stories, for seduction purposes and to give us an interment moment with a character. This of course translated over to games and with high end 3D graphics there have been a number of memorable video game shower scenes.
Just a little warning, some of the videos show animated nudity so I will tag this NSFW (Not Safe for Work) so watch at your own risk.
Fatal Frame III
Parasite Eve II
Dead or Alive III
Hollywood does it all the time – take an old movie from one or two generations ago, cast young actors, hype the remake and put out something that is vaguely satisfying. Unfortunately the video game industry appears to be heading down this track too.
There is a balance to be struck between revisiting old ideas and producing something fresh. Pac-Man Championship Edition was a success because it did not stray too far from the original but did have one or two new ideas thoughtfully put into it.
Another good way to gain a new audience or prepare them for a forthcoming game is to remake the last one. The God of War Collection on PS3 makes some sense, at least commercially. Here is the chance for gamers to try out the first two before the final part of the trilogy lands, and all in blood-curdling High Definition.
But all too often the ideas we see revisited and refined are not groundbreaking. For the last couple of years the “cover” system has been added to so many games it is just not funny. And the FPS genre has been particularly stale, degenerating into repetitive takes on the same basic premise. World War II and now modern conflicts have been picked over and reinvented countless times.
2010 seems to be promising more of the same. Medal of Honour is going all out for Modern Warfare’s audience. The Dubai setting and moving sand at least give The Line from Germany company Yager an interesting selling point. And I won’t even mention the stream of God of War-style games that are threatening to swamp players in the first quarter – Darksiders, Dante’s Inferno and more.
Let’s hope the audience is not blinkered to new ideas. Team Ico are on the way with PS3 exclusive The Last Guardian, David Cage’s Heavy Rain (also on PS3) has a lot of promise and Armanita Design’s beautifully put together point & click puzzler Machinarium will be getting a boxed retail release in the UK. Suda51 returns with the sequel to No More Heroes on the Wii and a HD remake for the bonkers original.
So in 2013 when you are all playing Gears of Uncharted Warfare 5, I hope there will still be an alternative for people who don’t want to stare down the barrel of a gun and bad-mouth their opponents while hiding behind realistically textured rubble.