Don’t Copy That Floppy!

So what the fuck did we just see? These kids that look like they were from a 90s Nickelodeon show or Blossom or Boy Meets World get attacked by DP, Double Penetration, I mean Digital Protector, yeah that’s it and got informed of how copying software will end the world of software. ~Honorabili

Don’t Copy That Floppy!

don't copy that floppy

Remember the days of the Bard’s Tale 3 copy protection wheel and having to go into manuals to enter a word to prevent copying? Well I do! And now so will you with this horrible PSA from back in the day.

So what the fuck did we just see? These kids that look like they were from a 90s Nickelodeon show or Blossom or Boy Meets World get attacked by DP, Double Penetration, I mean Digital Protector, yeah that’s it and got informed of how copying software will end the world of software.

Well, looks like I finally got the message!

However, the people who made this crap didn’t so DP is back in 2009 to keep you from downloading a car:

I so much prefer the anti piracy ad from The IT Crowd http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ALZZx1xmAzg or even the laughable one that says “You wouldn’t download a car”

Well…

You Wouldn't Download A Car?

Just imagine how many cars will get downloaded when 3D printers are a commonplace thing. That will be the next big internet problem like in 2031.

Knightsquire

Knightsquire

Aaaah, yes, summer-time. Beaches, Tequila with a slice of orange, fruit with a slice of Tequila, overheated PCs and the chronic lack of money. Enter Independent Gaming and its brand new freeware find: Knightsquire (and not Knight’s Quest). A brilliant short adventure game that might just help you save enough money to treat yourself to your favorite alcoholic poison.

Knightsquire, lovingly crafted by none other than buloght (?), is apparently a game about a knight and his squire. Make that better a game about a knight, his squire and a door stuck shut. Not very epic in scope, but funny, quirky and touching on the delicate subject of squire-maltreatment (quite the class issue in medieval Europe), Knightsquire is a rather traditional point and click adventure, that’s slightly reminiscent of Gobliins 2 (see Gobliins 2 @ mobygames). Following a long adventuring tradition it lets you pick up , examine, interact with and use a variety of inventory objects, sporting mostly inventory driven puzzles. Oh, and it will entertain you for at least a couple of hours, provided of course you aren’t the ultimate adventure gaming genius.

Knightsquire

Anyway. On to the visual arts front, oh most perceptive and observant of readers, where as you should have already noticed Knightsquire sports brilliant low-res 2d graphics, with a distinct comic-book feel and buckets of color (well 32bits of it actually). Stylish eye-candy I would characterize it, were I not so majorly irritated by Firefox, thus getting all cranky and nasty, thus avoiding any good-hearted exaggerations.

Still, you get the point. It’s beautiful. It’s a precious little gem after all. And it lets you control both the knight and the squire. I swear I even heard of a resident princess!

That’s a (nine) out of (ten).

RPG Sex

(Disclaimer: This is a naughty post. Not explicit but naughty. If, by any chance, you happen to be a minor, I advise you to not read it. Better click here. Or google words like porn, bouncy and boobs.)

RPGs and sex. They go together like bicycles and fish. Like unwashed teenage boys and 19th century architecture. Like the police and democracy.

Despite this, RPG sex is definitely lacking. The real problem seems to be a distinct lack of sex rules, that would seamlessly integrate the whole carnal experience into the game world. Rules that would intrigue the average Game or Dungeon Master. Rules covering such topics as Inter-Species Fertility, The Wild Thing or Sexual Psionic Powers. Rules that would be free.

Thankfully, another nonexistent problem has been solved. Just download The Complete Guide to Unlawful Carnal Knowledge (a.k.a. the AD&D Book of Sex), retrieve your trusted Advanced Dungeons and Dragons manuals and have a bath. A drink too. (Download link)

OR (and that’s an apparently big or) try the BBSW Roleplaying Game, widely recognized (by me and a few mates) as the premier Hentai RPG. Download it here. Oh, and in case you were wondering, this is a full-fledged stand-alone freeware RPG. And BBSW stands for Big Breasts Small Waist. Quite a shock, that.


CDW Nintendo – Earthworm Jim

Black nintendo DSI
Black nintendo DSI

Coming to your DSi today is the classic game Earthworm Jim. This platform action shooter came to fame on the Super NES though it was released almost a year earlier for the Genesis. You play as Jim an ordinary earthworm until you come in contact with the super powerful cyber-suit that turns you into a superhero. When Jim finds out Psy-Crow’s evil plans he sets out to stop them and save the lovely Princess What’s-her-name.

Here is the official release information:

Earthworm Jim
Publisher: Gameloft
Players: 1
ESRB Rating: E10+ (Everyone 10 and Older) — Cartoon Violence, Comic Mischief
Price: 500 Nintendo DSi Points
Description: The classic action platformer you used to play on the Super NES system is back in a remake that offers the essence and core game play of the original, plus a never-before-seen feature available exclusively on the Nintendo DSi system. Play as the grooviest earthworm in the galaxy. Run, gun, swing from hooks with your head, launch cows, bungee jump and rocket through speed levels in a dozen crazy universes. Earn bonuses with facial-expression-based challenges that track your face using the system’s built-in camera. Put on a smile, frown or make a variety of other faces to mimic Jim.