You don’t get the show #14: Genital Removal, Risque IOUs and Black Friday Stories

We have Ubisoft removing female genitalia from Watch Dogs 2, DOAX3 DLC featuring tear away swimsuits, a Chinese online student loan company that uses nude pics as IOU’s and a whole lot more in a packed pre-Thanksgiving pre-Black Friday show.

Siege Breakers Sessions #2: Black Friday Madness


The Siege Breakers Sessions podcast returns post-Thanksgiving with our round up of what the gang did during our holiday including all the Black Friday purchases we made from all the choices from Steam to Greenman Gaming.

We got derailed for a moment as J.A. was asked to talk about some of the horrible tech support experiences he had during his time working in phone support.

From there we moved into more League of Legend talk were the discussion quickly turned to the need or lack of need for a surrender button and that far too many games have been turned around after someone has called for the team to give up.

The EA hate returned in some form as J.A. admitted to purchasing the premium edition of Battlefield 4 during Black Friday while Magnolia has sword off all EA purchases even the next Mass Effect to Mighty D’s surprise.

Guild Wars 2 make a topic appearance due to Mighty D’s mentioning missing out on the beginning of World of Warcraft.

Finally Magnolia filled us in on the changes we can expect with DirectX 12 and how we will get better performance from out CPU’s which will mean better gameplay and longevity for newer and older systems using the Windows 10 platform.

Warning: The Siege Breakers Sessions Podcast is NSFW and and contains adult language, seriously if you get easily offended stay out.

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I did this to myself: The customer proves they are an ass

Customer Feedback - Motivational Poster

For this story I need to be purposely vague but in a nutshell here it is. This customer orders a computer and it arrived to the customer and something is wrong. The system will not turn on. At this point we do not know if the problem is due to shipping or something else but either way it isn’t working.

The customer sends the system in for repairs and the system is fully looked over and the problem is found and fixed. It does look as if something came loose in shipping. So it is tested with our normal tests and sent back to the customer.

The system arrives to the customer and they turn it on and it works great. The system is for the customer’s son and he tells his parents it works great. Case closed right? About a week later the customer calls in angry as hell. The story we are told is one of the parents decides to check in on the kid to see how the computer is running.

The kid begins to show the computer off to the parent and when he opens up internet explorer it has bookmarked links to porn sites. It also has spyware and spam pop-ups one may get from surfing at porn sites. So the agent tells the customer did you ask your kid about where he has been surfing on the web.

The customer goes crazy talking about how they are super religious and would never even think about stuff like that. (This is funny considering the kid ordered games that had violent acts of killing in them) now there was no porn on the computer at all but the customer accused our technicians of going to porn sites on their computer.

Now we did not connect any systems to the internet. We only used a local internet protocol so there is no way this was possible but the customer wasn’t hearing it. The customer even called government agents on us. The government agents pretty much laughed at the whole thing and said we have nothing to worry about.

But this customer wouldn’t give up. The customer claims the computer is now defiled and infected like a plague victim and they cannot have it in their house any longer. Then they said they would get a lawyer on us. So fast forward a few weeks the lawyer calls and a meet is setup. Keep in mind we have not had possession of the system since the incident.

So they send the system in and within minutes we are able to pull a log that shows it was the son who did this and not us. Our management was satisfied, the lawyer was satisfied but the crazy customer still would not accept that her baby Jesus could possibly go to porn sites.

In the end the system was returned to the customer and the case was closed. The customer didn’t have a leg to stand on. But I bet you that even today the customer still thinks we have a porn gnome who sneaks into the factory every night putting porn on everyone’s system.

I want to speak to your manager: The customer is still an ass

Customer service motivational poster

I would have never thought in a million years that I would encountered another customer as stupid as I did at Best Buy so long ago but I was wrong.

After buying my HDTV on black Friday I told a friend of mine I was planning on buying a new stereo receiver. So he called me and told me there is an open box buy on a nice 5.1 receiver with speakers at Circuit City that normally would cost over two hundred bucks and is being sold for seventy one.

Since he works there he tells me he will keep it with him behind the service desk until I arrive. I make my way over there and get inside and see a long line. It’s not a big deal since the item is being held for me so I just chill.

Most of the rest of the story comes from my friends point of view since I really only found out about exactly what happened a few hours later when my friend got off shift. Now where my friend worked mostly what he did was hand people the items they purchased off of Circuit

Now how it works is you go on the web then you pick an item and select how you want to get it, you enter your zip code and it gives you a list of stores that have your item that you can pick up, and then you pay online then go in and get it.

I later did this myself and it’s easy as hell, so this guy walks up to my friend and says

“Yes I ordered the Dora the Explorer Fix-It adventure and The Wiggles: It’s Wiggle time here is my printout from the web”

My friend takes the receipt and sees that the pick-up location is in another store across town and not here so he goes,

“I’m sorry sir you came to the wrong location, you selected to pick-up your merchandise in Dadeland this is Aventura”

The man get’s a pissed off look on his face and says

“Why would I set the pick-up in Dadeland when I live up north, I am way to tired for this, please just give me what I paid for”

So my friend checks to see if they have the items but they don’t so he says…

“I’m sorry sir we are out of Dora the Explorer Fix-It adventure and The Wiggles: It’s Wiggle time, but I went ahead and checked for you and both items are at the location you selected, if you go there the items will be waiting for you”

The guy get’s pissed and snatches the print out from my friend

“You think this is some joke you little shit? I don’t care what this goddamn paper said I ordered my items to be picked up here not from across town. Now you give me what I paid for right now”

By this time people in the crowd including me hears this guy getting mad but my friend is good with dealing with angry customers

“Sir it is possible there was an error with the web and I apologize for that however we do not have Dora the Explorer Fix-It adventure or The Wiggles: It’s Wiggle time in stock in this store, if you would like I can refund the amount to your credit card”

You’d think that would have done it but no, this just got the man angrier.

“You know what, I deal with piss ants like you everyday, people who screw up and think a fake smile and bogus apology can fix anything. I paid for my merchandise and I want it now but since you do not have the metal capacity to help me why don’t you go get one of your money managers from the back out here right now!”

Needless to say my friend was pissed but he kept his cool and got a manager who basically came out and told him the exact same thing but he then asked the man to step to the side and he will work with him to try and resolve the issue

The man slamed his fist on the desk which alerted the security guard, the man turned around looking at all the other people in line and says,

“This is bullshit, now you are trying to make me the bad guy, saying I am holding up the line, it was your incompetence that caused this, I’m not moving until you get me my merchandise”

The manager just nods to the security guard and they security guard walks up to the man and tells him he needs to either move out of line or leave the store. The man ignores the security guard who then puts his hands on his shoulder

The guy jerks away from the security guard, “Get your fucking hands off me” by this time the manager has called the cops and the security guard just backs up to the door. I think by this time the guy knew he was in trouble and soon heads out the door just as the police pull up

I see the cops talking to him as the manager and security guard goes outside and talks to the cops, about ten minutes later they arrest the man. Later on I found out that the manager was not going to press charges and even said that he would still refund the guys money but that he couldn’t return to the store.

But the man had a warrant out on him for DUI and speeding tickets so he went to jail for that. In the end I came home with two things, a nice receiver and a story to tell.




video Game Store Japan
video Game Store Japan

My theory as to the reason for the lack of good games for the week after Thanksgiving is that companies feel people will be tired of buying after Black Friday and Cyber Monday. Seriously not to dump on anyone’s game but this week the pickings are a slim as leftovers at my house. Anyway I will try my best to bring you something but don’t expect any high scores or anything.

Golden Sun: Dark Dawn

It’s been a long time for fans of the Golden Sun series but finally the follow up is here and Camelot has delivered a good RPG game for your Nintendo DS. Dark Dawn is thirty years into the future and deals with the effects from releasing the golden sun onto the world. You play as the son of the hero from the previous game against a new villain Blados.

The good thing about Dark Dawn is they kept the gameplay of the first and just updated the look to work with the additional features of the DS. You still have the turn based random combat encounters and you can still interact with the environment. There are tons of magic spells to use and over 70 Djinn which are magical creatures based on the four elements that are spread across the world. When you find these Djinn you can add them to any of your characters to add or increase their magic ability.

For those of you that haven’t played Golden Sun or don’t remember the story well there are hyperlinks within the game that reference you to the in-game encyclopedia which will give you information on the backstory. In addition there are hints and hidden messages scrolled on the walls throughout the world to help you keep on task.

All in all if you have a DS and are a Golden Sun fan, a RPG fan or both then this title is worth a pickup.

Buy Worthiness: $$$

Epic Mickey

Even if you aren’t a fan of Disney you have to admit many of their games are beautifully done and fun to play and from the looks of it Epic Mickey continues that trend. The game was created by Warren Spector who you might remember from Deus Ex and System Shock. The game itself is based on various projects, scripts, character and ideas that never quite made it past the creative offices. What this means is that while there will be a lot of familiar Disney sights and characters in Epic Mickey there are also twists and differences alone with new characters and places within the game.

In a nutshell Mickey is kidnapped and brought to a world that has various reimaging of characters. There are a ton of bad guys including a character called Oswald the Lucky Rabbit who is jealous of Mickey’s success. Mickey interacts with the world primarily by using paint and thinner to create, fill in or erase parts of the world. You can also use the paint and thinner to attack enemies, but it is not always effective.

What’s cool is how you use the paint and thinner effects everything from the quests and items you get to even how Mickey looks and acts. If you use a lot of paint it is considered good and your appearance matches that. If you use a lot of thinner it is considers bad in a sense because you are destroying things and thus you change over time to Scrappy Mickey, while not necessarily evil this is considered the lesser choice.

Overall, this games plays like a platforms mixed in with an RPG and the paint and thinner aspect not only is cool but works well with the Wii. This one looks like a winner and is worth a look.

Buy Worthiness: $$$$

Broke Friday

Nintendo wins this week which isn’t saying much considering. I know most of you will be broke after Black Friday and Cyber Monday, but these two games are still worth a shot if you have the cash. Next up is the countdown to Christmas so stay tuned for more Games to Buy.

Age of Empires III for ten cents

age of empires 3 cover
age of empires 3 cover

You have to love the run up to Black Friday. This is the time everyone tries to outdo each other and we as consumers win out. You might want to keep your eye on the Games for Windows page because they are offering some awesome deals.

Right now you can head on over to the Games for Windows page and pick up Age of Empires 3 for only ten cents. Yeah, that’s right, ten cents. There’s no trick or hidden cost, we’ve already checked it out and had some friends purchase it and it’s legit.

Here’s the info on AOE3:

Immerse yourself in the award-winning strategy experience. Microsoft Game Studios brings you three epic Age of Empires III games in one monumental collection for the first time. Command mighty European powers looking to explore new lands in the New World; or jump eastward to Asia and determine the outcome of its struggles for power. There are no refunds for this item. Digital Rights Management Disclosure. This software uses digital rights management software (“DRM”). DRM may limit the number of times you are permitted to install this software on a computer and/or the number of computers to which you may install the software. To function properly, DRM downloads certain data and files to your computer, which may or may not be uninstalled when you uninstall the software.

So if you are interested in this awesome deal head on over to Games for Windows.

Oh, and tell em Obsolete Gamer sent ya.

The Black Friday Report

Black Friday

Your roving reporter J.A. Laraque has traveled across Miami, Florida to bring you this exclusive report on the phenomena known as Black Friday. For those of you who do not know what black Friday is, it is the day that everyone becomes a crazed early morning shopper, hunting for those earth shattering deals.

Ever laugh at the women who wake up at five in the morning to go shopping for a bed in a bag? When driving home from the bar and you see a line of pasty white, overweight teenagers camped outside of the video game store, do you laugh? If you said yes and believe this behavior is localized to those subspecies then you are wrong.

Have you even been to someone’s home who you know has an awful job and yet has an awesome fifty-one inch HDTV? Chances are if they did not steal it, they got it on black Friday. These bargain hunters will camp outside your local electronics store for up to ten hours to get that television half off. Normal men who would never be caught in a mall will load up their truck with beer and head out ready to do battle to get in, get the deal and get out.

Obscure-Internet asked me to report on this after Thanksgiving tradition, so, I went undercover and what I found was both mind numbing and sad.

I decided to go to a Best Buy. It is a super-chain electronics store. The store was not to open until six in the morning and I foolishly believed I could show up at five. I was horribly mistaken. The line was around the building twice. Stranger yet, I noticed everyone in line was extremely ugly. I had to assume for the sake of humanity that this was due to the ingestion of turkey coupled with the small amount of beauty sleep.

It was a cold morning, well cold for Miami. I expected to find mostly college kids and men over thirty-five who pretend they are twenty-five. What I found were people from every walk of life, but what saddened me the most (besides the ugly) was the number of mother’s there with their babies in the strollers.

I soon discovered that lack of sleep plus standing in line with strangers equals high tensions. There were several police cars parked in front of the store as several fights broke out. They were not bar fights, they were more like two nerds fighting over which anime was better. There were a lot of wild swings and breaks for these out of shape ultimate fighters to catch their breaths.

Black Friday participants have their own codes and ethics. One code I learned was that you do not cut in line and you do not hold spots for your friends. A young man, who I assumed was new to the Black Friday world, was kicked in the nuts when he tried to cut in front of a teenage girl. They called his punishment, the cunt punt, even though the young lady was actually very nice.

Best Buy had a ticket system. As they only had select products on special, there was a limit. They decided to hand out tickets with the name of the product, so, if you wanted that HDTV, you would get an HDTV ticket so you would not get beaten out by someone who is faster at running though the store. The biggest fight of the night occurred when it was discovered that the Best Buy representative was handing out fake tickets. He would tell people he had one left and make people bid for it. He made quite a few hundred dollars until someone figured it out. I saw him disappear in a sea of angry people and never heard from him again.

Once the doors finally opened the madness continued as hundreds of people poured into the store. It was a fire marshals nightmare as the store was completely packed. This would be a gropers dream except most of the boobs were on the men. I then realized why the mother’s brought their children in the strollers. The combination of kids and strollers made a great battering ram. They would use them to plow their way to what they wanted and when they slammed into you, all you could do was turn around, see the baby and then walk away depressed.

Many people also used their kids to try and get around the one per person per item rule. The cashier was not fooled as she knew an eight year old would not be able to purchase, much less carry, a forty-five inch HDTV.

All in all it was a sad night of people proving that when the zombie apocalypse comes we will need to trim a lot of fat from the human population before we rebuild our society. However, I did purchase a Nintendo Wii for fifty bucks. I do not plan to play it, just video tape myself beating it to death with a bat Office Space style.

I hate the Wii!

This is J.A. Laraque, reporting for Obscure-Internet news.