A what to do better sex guide
I found it hard to describe how to have sex (since its a subject that can fill the Kama-Sutra and 1000 other books), so I decided to include these rules that some homeless man told me in exchange for some sweet loving.
Remember, it is about pleasing yourself, not her.
Rules to abide by
If you shoot before you see the whites of her eyes, dont worry about it. She’ll probably fall asleep in a few minutes anyway.
Humping for an hour without climaxing is the mark of a sex god,
Ask Her if she has cum
This is almost impossible to tell, as most women make no noise. If you really dont know, ask.
Perform Oral sex gently
Act like a tiny kitten at giant a saucer of milk.
Nudge her head down
All women love this, as it is like being dragged to a cave by their hair.
Don’t warn her before you come
When shes performing oral sex, dont warn her before you come, Sperm tastes like seawater mixed with egg white and everybody likes that.
Move during fellatio
Although, shell do some moving during fellatio, dont just lay there, Thrust or grab her head.
Take Etiquette advice from Porn Movies
Women seem to love it when men ejaculate over them in porn movies. This is true in real life too as it means more laundry to do.
Make Her Ride
Lying there grunting while she does all the hard work is great as it makes her feel like the captain of a schooner.
Attempt Anal Sex and Pretend it was an accident
If you want to kick her back door in, dont ask first. Being drunk is a great excuse for going in the wrong way.
Ask her, Can I take a photo of you? but dont say to show my mates. also never let her have custody of them.