Question of the Week : What is your Theme tune, and why?

Every week the ObscureInternet Forum ponders a Question of the Week, this week it is What is your Theme tune, and why?

Lazarus

Carl Orff – Carmina Burana

Because I am dictator wannabe.

YQM

I’m in a Hurry and don’t know why by Alabama

LKelly

I find it hard to pick ONE theme song for my life as a whole–I’ve had so many experiences and different aspects that affected the decisions I’ve made, things I did, and ultimately the song that perfectly embodies my life at that point. Since one major chapter has come to a close, I can now stand on the outside and look in. I just graduated from college, five of the most interesting and exciting years of my life. I made some bad choices and learned so much from them. Just recently I was sitting at an old college bar with an old college friend and Lit’s “My Own Worst Enemy” came on. “Wow!” I said, “This has got to be our college theme song!” Apart from the obvious “my car is in the front yard, and i’m sleeping wth my clothes on, came in through the window last night,” this was a song I loved (still like it) in college so it is appropriate. On the outside looking in, as a “somewhat grown-up” (that’s what I refer to myself as), I can see that I was my own worst enemy. Most of the time the bad choices I made were alcohol induced, and no one but me was shoving the shots down my throat! I still like to have a good time, don’t get me wrong, but I’ve settled down. I try to avoid sleeping wth my clothes on and crawling through my window to get into my house. Of course, that can’t always be avoided when old friends are around!

jessica

tequila makes her clothes fall off by joe nichols

GLeN

My theme tune changes quite often. Today I will choose a cheesy 80’s hit.

Stan Bush – Dare.

Scribbler

Indeed. I’ve had a long think and I’ve chosen “The Way It Is” by Bruce Hornsby and The Range. During my younger years (early teens), I was absolutely obsessed by that song – I played it constantly. People who know me still say “I heard your song on the radio the other day…

Twunt

I still don’t have an answer so i’ll say silence. Or i could say the john cage track 4’33 which is effectively the same but recorded. The guy who did the wombles was sued for plagiarism for putting a track on an album that was silent too

SuPeR SiZe

NOt to sure how one is supposel to answer this question, i mean it reali is a one world answeri. wouldc you kids like a reasoningk to why my song is on my profile, mwel im gona take my initiative andy jus tel you everithing

theme song on my amazing profile is prodigy name of the song girls, why you my ask, wel because of my dashing good looks and charm not to mention i can walk like a quail on heat i decided this bsong represents my page the best as it is slightly sexaul, song ampsa up da person and just basically cos its a awsml songl.

and if you havent noticed there are some spelling errors in my text so take all the letters which are outa place and it spells a 2 words sentence

YQM

We actually had to do this as an assignment for one of my music classes. We were told to pick a soundtrack to our lives. 12-21 songs that could be put in a order to best show the story of our life.

My Life in Music Form

Early Childhood:
“Bananaphone” by Raffi (Its the only childhood song I remember)
“Mommy Why” by KoRn (My father use to beat me senseless and I blamed my mother for not stopping him until she finally divorced him when I was 13)
Middle School:
“I’m In a Hurry (and don’t know why)” by Alabama (It seems like I was always going somewhere for no reason in middle school)
“Good Riddance” by Greenday (I just didn’t care that school was happening. I almost failed middleschool because it was just to easy)
“The Trouble With Trouble” by Trish Murphy (I included a link to an MP3 on her site. Not fears its legal. Figured none of you have heard of her because no one outside of Houston, TX has heard of her. I chose this because I got in a lot of trouble because I liked to have fun)
High School:
“Caress Me Down” by Sublime (I lost my Virginity in High school to this song. Its kinda had a special place in my heart)
“AM Radio” by Everclear (All my friends were getting new stuff and being amazed by it. I remember someone telling me how amazing the N64 was and how it would never get more realistic than that, ever. While they were being impressed by the new flashing things I held onto the past, to my childhood.)
“Puff The Magic Dragon” by The Beatles (I did a lot of drugs in high school)
“Graduation (Friends Forever)” by Vitamin C (This was my high school graduation song and it still makes me cry to hear it today. So Long Simple Life.)
College:
“I Am My Own Worst Enemy” by Lit (as someone said before its the perfect song for college)
“Seven Drunken Nights” Traditional Drinking Song (Drinking, Irish, Scottish, Fun)
“Ladies Love Country Boys” by Trace Adkins (Because my girlfriend is from New York and her family doesn’t get why she loves my country boy flare)
“Geeks in Love” by Lemon Demon (Me and my girlfriend sang this song to each other after we had sex for the first time)

There are some more I cant think of right now.

Noscere

Easy, Imagine John Lennon, why? Because i am a closet hippy, tree hugging, swamp saving, whale rescuing…. erm ….. I have ran out of abusive hippy slander

Kate

Kardomah – Only Fools Rush In.
If you haven’t heard it then myspace it. It’s AWESOME!

Lazarus

I am changing mine to Bill Woods “Gay Car” it seems appropriate now that I have a car that is anally raping me finacially on a weekly basis.

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Anna & Mazipan MWMMM – 27-04-08

The last HOUR LONG SPECIAL show on SKFM as the radio station is mothballing broadcasting wise for a while.

Anna and Mazipan will be back on air soon. In the meantime keep in touch via thesignedphotograph dot com

xxx

[audio:http://northernmysterytheatre.podomatic.com/enclosure/2008-05-19T04_51_11-07_00.mp3]

Race For Life

I’m running Cancer Research’s ‘Race For Life’ in June and I was hoping to squeeze a bit of cash out of anyone who’s feeling generous!

You may or may not know; my dad died two years ago, he was diagnosed with prostate cancer in 1996 and had radiotherapy which prolonged his life (thankfully) but two years ago the radiotherapy he had ironically caused him to develop bone cancer and he subsequently died just four months after his diagnosis. With your help Cancer research can do exactly what they say on the tin: research cancer! With your help we can find better treatments and hopefully, eventually a cure!

Visit my sponsor page: http://www.raceforlifesponsorme.org/helenpinnock

Every penny counts!

Much love

Question of the Week : Do you have a God? If so what is he like and how do worship him?

Every week the ObscureInternet Forum ponders a Question of the Week, this week it is Do you have a God? If so what is he like and how do worship him?

Lazarus

He’s great, very hands off but thats the way I like it. I worship him by trying to be nice to people and not killing them, oh and I also like to believe that he likes me enjoying myself with alcohol and food.
I guesse the main reason I choose to believe in a God and more importantly the afterlife, is that without it everything is futile, all this pain, suffering, struggle and sacrifice is for what? To die?, to become dust?, a forgotten dead animal, what about family and friends that have already died? I take great comfort in the fact that once I have ate and drank my way to an early grave that I will meet them again.
Niáve? Stupid?
All I know is that if I am right then I move onto a higher plane of enternal bliss, if I am wrong then I cease to be anything, However if you are non-beleiver then if you are right then you cease be anything, however if you are wrong then its an eternity of pain.
Its a no brainer insurance job.

Gerry

Be Still. Be God.

Willem

I have a vague conception of a God.

I ‘worship’ it (not a him or her) by trying to be as good as I can be, by being a good father, a good husband, and a good person. I accept my flaws, and try to accept those of others. I try to work as hard as I can. I don’t intentionally do harm to others.

I’m not a religious person by nature, but I believe that you reap what you sow, you get out what you put in, and if you do your best and remain positive, good things will come your way.

I’m as flawed as they come, but I’m trying. That’s all you can do with your time and with the tools you’re born with and the tools you develop. Just try.

And don’t sit around.

Twunt

I have no god, but kudos to the enterprising fellow(s) who turned fear of the unknown into established religions uniting the world in peace, harmony and not killing in the name of the greater good

mushroomman

I think that God is a term used by people who are scared of death. I believe in things you can see and touch (like my penis for example). “God is War”

Tom

The question of belief or not has been split by 200 years of scientific dominance in the world.

Nowadays, it’s less of a common belief, but explanations in science only go so far. Put it this way – if it all started with the big bang, and nothing existed before that, could not the big bang be a sinlge clap of God’s hands as much as it could be anything else?

All things are traced back to nothingness, which is why we see God constantly brought back as a likely suspect in starting the universe.

If there is no God, there still has to have been a something.

Fagash Lil

In my opinion God/s were created by Man because the Human Race likes to think it’s speshul and above everything else on Earth. We’re not, we’re made out of the same crap that everything else is on this little blue planet and when we die we just get recycled into the whole lot, over and over again.
Why the fuck should there be an afterlife? What would be the point anyway? It’s all bollocks, this religious fervour, but perfect to manipulate the masses into a huge guilt trip so they’ll go meekly about their shitty lives believing there’s a better place afterwards full of delights. Bollocks. All they’re doing is conning themselves that they are imortal because of their own vanity. Human Race…get over yourselves!

When you’re dead that’s it, so enjoy yourself now.

The way I look at life, minus religion, is to try to have a good time, help anyone I can, if I can and remember that in a hundred years whatever you do now will be unimportant and forgotten. Unless you’re a serial killer. Or Hitler. Or royalty. All very unlikely.

Bruce

I have had about 30 or so gods in my time. 1 per year almost. I was brought up to follow a Protestant god but he was sodding boring, really, especially when compared to the variety and ingenuity of the Greek or Roman gods. Jesus Kerist ended up on a couple of planks – a well marketed philosopher; whereas Dionysus was a self-approving pisshead, surrounded by grapes and grain and gorgeous drunken and nubile wenches. To an inquisitive fourteen year old there was no contest. I still used to appreciate god’s kind contribution on Sundays of bread and wine – I know it was only a sip (the altar boy would have to tug the chalice of wine from my clasp!) but in the austere surroundings of an english public school, it went a long way.

Then I grew up and realised the idea of god, any god, is man made and therefore self-negating. Since I find it intensely difficult to take anyone seriously who has any faith/blind belief in a deity (most of the America for example), I have honed my arguments to disprove the existance of a god to a blood-letting (not solely metaphaphorically) point. Such new cancerous growths such as the laugable notion of Xena and Scientology just work as a contemporary example of the inane nature of religion – Christianity, Islam, Juadism all started in someone’s head and prospered due to Man’s need for some form of eternal acceptance and meaning – and have become indentured over the centuries. Good luck to the lot of them – just don’t bring your strife to my door or I shall let the dog loose. (I have kept Cerberus!)

For myself, being of both a scientific and philosophic bent, I have arrived at the answer to your question by taking Balance as my deity. Balance is all around us and if it isn’t then the all around won’t be around for long – at least, not in its present state. Ying and Yang and all that jazz – can’t have one without the other etc etc. Look at Lovelock’s theory of Gaia – the planet itself as a giant organism which needs its component parts to be in balance to keep the organism healthy. This is an overly simplified description of Gaia but, what the hell, you should still get my point. Balance is my god because it’s real, provable, tangible on ocassion and makes a lot more sense then some fairy tales of an afterlife and divine right and protection. That’s all just balls, my friends. Face it. Or don’t – that’s your perogative but bear in mind that between all your gods you must have mine or trouble lies ahead.

Not that I mind trouble lying ahead – the more trouble for us the sooner we rid Gaia of our vicious presence and the cockroaches take over – or something. Balance. Believe it baby!

Humble Person

I am a believer. His name is actually spelled with two “O’s” It might be easier for people to accept him if they understoood his proper name is “GOOD”

But first you have to accept the fact that there is also a “BAD” before Go(o)d can begin to have meaning and value in your life.

Mick

people = science.

Were simply a product of a genetic mutations across a countless number of years.

you live your life based on chemical reactions, your body ages with time, stops functioning with wear and tear, shuts down and you die.

it may be bleak, but i believe it too be true.

As for a kingdom of heaven afterlife? Bollocks to that. Think of the countless number of folks who have lived through the ages, are you telling me that there is a place somewhere housing all these people? And when you die you get to meet all your loved ones? Logistically, thats just not possible.

Morgz

I do have a God. Not because anybody told me to choose one or forced me to keep one but, rather, because when i finally realised that He was real, I had no choice! I had to believe. It’s the internal confidence that tells me. Something inside that screams that there’s more to my life than just me. I know He’s real because my life changed in a way that i could never change it myself. What is He like? He’s AWESOME!! He’s all those things that we hope to be and never become and I worship Him by trying to be the best ‘me’ I can be.

Kate

We all share the same God.
He’s pretty fucking cool like.
I worship in whichever way i see fit at the time….
Moshing, or stamping my feet etc.
Are you guys religious?

The Renegade Marshall

Religion is an evolutionary coping strategy, in some part socially cohesive but at the same time divisive, depending on whether your viewpoint is from within or without. Basically it is a way to give meaning to life or at least avoiding any consideration of what life is. Of course there are other ways of coping … Drink, drugs, TV, etc., but these are only relevant when abused. It seems we all want to escape yet we do nothing to bring an escape any nearer, we just bury our heads in the sand.

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Forum Pick of the Week – 13 May 2008

We would love you to come along and join our forums and all talk about all sorts of nonsense to your hearts content! Here some of the latest and most interesting posts;

Women more troubled by bag theft than rape

A lively debate on the virtues of rape, and a critical eye cast on the difficulties of man-rape with potential solutions.

Insult the previous poster

The gloves are off in this thread, a no holds barred visceral celebration of one-up-manship. Do you know a good put-down, test it out here, are you closet tourret’s sufferer, Then use this tread to relieve your hidden pain in the safe knowledge that no offence will be taken, or if it is who cares?

Let’s see your beautiful areas

A refreshing change of pace on this thread, do you have a hidden spot of natural beauty? Why not take a snapshot of it and post in this tread for all to see and admire. Perhaps you have a fabulous mound, or particularly picturesque peaks that are crying out to be shown to the world.
Whatever the picture you can be sure of admiring glances on this thread.

Iron Man coming 2008!!!!

This mature thread was started back in February 2007, Read the history of the film through the eyes of the OI crowd, every new piece of information gleaned from the net was lovingly posted on this thread, posters, rumours, casting choices, its all here. And now the film is out, read the reviews and the overwhelming disappointment of Jeff Bridges beard.

Word NON-Association Game

“THE” most popular thread on forum, this utter waste of fucking time allows the OI crowd to post random words, the only rule? It cannot have any association to the previous post, but as no-one monitors it, cheating is rife. The Sunday Times called it “The very definition of pointless”.

The bored ramblings of a Neurotic Mother – Going Abroad

Well guys, I’m 4 Months in with the little fella and it’s time to take to sunny Spain for the first time to visit his grandparents. Am I silly?? Yes I think I am.

These first 4 months of James life have been somewhat entertaining and bloody tiring. Since my last blog, the little blighter has had a trip to A&E. He was only 3 months old and suffering from a chesty cough. He had his second lot of injections as I was smack bang in the middle of fighting off the flu and it hit him like a ton of bricks. The A&E trip was due to him managing to choke twice on his phlegm whilst I was in the shower. It was horrifying. I had to swing him upside down and wedge him between my legs to pull the phlegm from his throat. Turns out when we got to A&E poor bugger had bronchiolitis, a form of baby bronchitis. When he was first seen there was a comment from the doctor that he may have to been admitted for the night but thankfully 3 hours later we were sent home with an inhaler for him and a volumatic. I was advised that he may continue with a cough and a slight wheeze for several years after over coming the bronhiolitis, and so far the cough has gone and the wheeze comes and goes. Not sure if any of you are aware of what a volumatic is. It’s like a small facemask that you press against babies face and the inhaler goes in the other end. I have to hold it on James face for 10 seconds to ensure that he actually breathes in some of his drugs. As you can imagine James does not like this one little bit and now recognises what it is. When I make a move towards him with it I get the evil eyes and a look that anounances that I am public enemy number 1. Thankfully James is A-ok and back on top form.

Anyhoo getting back to the subject of the blog. We are currently in Spain staying at my parents. I was dreading bringing baby all this way on my own. How the hell was I going to cope with going through the departure gates with my bag, James and his buggy? Well let me tell you, it was easy as pie. The staff at Newcastle airport could not have been friendlier. And Jet2.com staff were equally as helpful. James was a little star on the flight coming over, only a few little whinges, I put that down to him being a baby and that’s what they do. He had a good snooze on the plane and a few people even commented on how good he had been. Go JAMESY!!

He’s adjusted well to the heat over here. It was 26 degrees when we landed, I was pleased I had dressed him in only a short-sleeved romper suit. My step mum managed to blag her way into the baggage reclaim gate and stole James away whilst I waited for my bag to come round. I didn’t have to wait long, when I came out of the arrival gate I was met by my step mum, dad and a scantily clad James. His Grandy had stripped him down to his vest and was giving him snuggles. It was a 1 1/2hr drive from the airport to dad’s house, James managed this quite well too, although he did have a mammoth shite in the car that stank it out, halfway down the motorway we had to pull over to change a smelly nappy. James thought it was hilarious that his granny almost vomited at the smell and promptly went back to sleep once he was clean and dry.

So far we’ve been having a great time. The parents have 2 dogs and cat that I was slightly worried about. We have no pets at home and I was a bit anxious that they would bother James. I had nothing to worry about. The dogs are protective over James, like to be near him but never get too close, Frankie, the small dog likes to like James toes whilst he sits in his chair and he takes great delight in kicking her in the face, they do this most of the time. I think that have made a game out of it. Being wary of watching the dogs now seems like the least of my worries, it’s going to be a case of watching the grandparents. I turned my back on Monday to get a glass of water from the kitchen only to come back into the front room to find James sat on his Grandy’s knee whilst Granny stuck a wedge of orange in his mouth. The boy loved it, you could hear him sucking in the juice. This went one for a full orange! The boy was pitted by the time she had finished and had little bits of orange around his mouth. – pictures will soon be uploaded to my face book account for anyone interested in looking. James now absolutely adores his Granny, he knows she has the goods and his little eyes light up after his afternoon bottle because he now knows he’s in for a treat!

We are here for another week and I hope to update with more goings on later. There is a fiesta and bull run going on later in the week, so no doubt James will be entertained to a small a degree.

The boy is asleep, the sun is shining and dad has a glass of red waiting with my name on it, I’m off out the back to get some colour onto my deathly pale skin.

Hope you are all well.

Question of the Week : Choose a new Name, identity and lifestyle for yourself.

Every week the ObscureInternet Forum ponders a Question of the Week, this week it is Choose a new Name, identity and lifestyle for yourself.

Hi, My Name is Pablo El Humero, I am a proffesional Mexican Wrestler, my finishing move is the “El Diablo ” which involves strangling the opponant with his spine.
I live on a luxery aircraft carrier off the Porta Rica coast with my wife and her twin sister.
The twins dabbled in porn but gave it up to concentrate on their cooking and gymnastics.
I recently discovered a revolutionary new way of managing large stock portfolios that guaranteed 40-50% return that has made me the 3rd wealthiest man in the world.
I use this income to pay for schools that teach the “El Diablo” to poor children.

Bill

My Name is Glen.

I am awful but tell everyone I am awesome.

I have large balls and my family hate me.

mushroomman

Hi my name is Jenny McCarthy, i am a porn star/model/celeb. I love touching myself and feeling my breasts. Recently I felt that lesbianism was the way forward and refused to touch a penis again.

Mick

Hi, my name is Earl, ive pretty much done bad things all my life. Recently ive discovered karma, and am now trying to undo all the bad things in my life in hilarious 25min weekly segments.

i also like pie.

Crag2804

You stole my ideas, I was going to post the exact same thing when I got home from work.

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Question of the Week: What is the ultimate fate of the universe?

Every week the ObscureInternet Forum ponders a Question of the Week, this week it is What is the ultimate fate of the universe?

grey

Crunch crunch.

bye bye.

Fagash Lil

Eaten by an obese American.

Seriously though, isn’t it supposed to expand to a point and then contract back thus crunching us all into heavy, dense matter that will in turn explode and make a new Universe?

Or is that the definition of a Vindaloo?

I get confused.

Twunt

god leaves the chip pan on and goes to the pub. We all burn

Crag2804

I think you’ve forgotten the third case, where the two forces are exactly equal and cancel each other out. I’ll go for that option, neither expansion or contraction. The universe will get to a finite size and then stop.

grey

You don;t think it acts like a rubber band? Stretching slowly out, then snapping back and slowly crushing us?

Lazarus

There will be bunting and a bran basket, I booked a clown and I have heard the Mayor of York will be sending his town crier.

It will be magic.

This will be the féte of the Universe

Bill

I don’t know anything really I just guess a lot, but…..

I think this idea of the Big Crunch is largely a theorists dream of “completion”, something that starts must end and the Big Bang was a start to our universe and therefore in some way it must end (whilst saying this I am aware that a large part of the Big Crunch theory is that once the crunch occurs then another big bang follows very very quickly, which is something I am tempted to put down to a theorists dream of “completion” with some “continuation” thrown in). I am unaware of any force known to mankind that actually pullling us back to a point of origin.

However, I think I was once told that we are hurtling outwards at a diminishing rate, that is to say, slowing down. I wouldn’t be surprised if this was someting to do with exhausting energy or something (momentum being conveniently disregarded in this passage).

So what I reckon is that the universe (or the matter in our void, so to speak) will stop expanding and then all will shrivel and die. Like a dead cell. Because this universal process that we are involved with surely cannot be the only univere expanding into something can it? I reckon this universe is actually one of gazillions of universes that makes up part of the gusset of Xhandros the Space King’s gusset. Hence the colour of space. In those lucky universes that are on the shaft of Zephniargh the Space Princess’ dildo the colour of space takes on a slightly pinkish hue.

As I said, there is a fair bit of guesswork in there…

hansisland

Ofcourse the Universe isnt actually expanding. I can prove this by the simple fact that it took me 20 minutes to walk to the highstreet 3 years ago; and it still takes 20 minutes to walk to the highstreet. So the universe is in fact not expanding (else it would now take longer)….

The end of the universe necesitates understanding what we’re talking about? The end of it physically? as in whats at the other side of it? If this is the question some people seem to think that the universe is Doughnut shaped (ever which way you go you always end up at the same place)… this is ofcourse a guess; as ‘on the outside of a doughnut’ is teh excact same thing as ‘inside a sphere’… either which way there’s a physical boundary… breaking through this is bound to go ‘crunch’… Indeed if you had a big enough telescope youd eventually zoom in on your own arse.

oh feck it. its gonna go crunch I reckon..

Crag2804

That’s the perfect way to counter the expansion of the universe, just move closer to where you need to be

I havent been back for a while

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