This week we feature the brooding, beautiful, badass from Final Fantasy 13. On to the Cosplay.
This week we feature the brooding, beautiful, badass from Final Fantasy 13. On to the Cosplay.
This week we turn to Mass Effect 1 and 2 for our cosplay profile.
We are the TMZ of bad cosplay.
Have a happy Memorial Day Weekend!
There’s a reason I don’t wear a thong at the beach and there is a reason these people shouldn’t cosplay in public.
It’s Friday, slack off more than usual and sit back and look at some cosplay fail.
Time for another installment of Cosplay failures.
Obsolete Gamer is proud to have its first personal profile of a cosplay. Our first profile is of Jennifer a.k.a. Shadow who is a 26-year-old cosplay from Italy. She is a huge fan of video games and sent us images of one of her favorite cosplay outfits, Bayonetta.
If you are a cosplayer and would like to be features, drop us a line.
This weeks Cosplay is dedicated to the evil queen of Cobra.
This week we spin the wheel of the internets for a variety of cosplay girls that will keep you “up” at night.
There is no question Parasite Eve is one of my favorite games so here is a special treat, Cosplay: The girls of Parasite Eve, enjoy.
So I missed posting a new cosplay this past Friday due to being at CES so here are a few shots of the lovely ladies of CES. Just an F.Y.I I am sure there were way more pretty ladies, but I was too busy to see many of them which made me a sad panda.
Check out the rest of our Cosplay.
The staff of Obsolete Gamer is going to take some well-deserved time off for the holidays, but we wouldn’t leave you without your fapp. As an added bonus this week we offer two fappathons Cosplay, one for the girls and one for the boys.
Everyone here at Obsolete Gamer would like to thank our fans for making our first year very successful and we promise to be even better in the New Year. We wish you and yours a happy holiday season.
Now, on with the Fapp!
Alienware True or False
Alienware HQ always had gaming going on: False
While many of us were originally gamers we did employ many who were not. We did not have an official gaming room until a few years back, but there were frequent LAN parties held at the various buildings.
Alienware outsourced to India: False
In fact during our time we never technically outsourced as our Costa Rica team was full Alienware employees that enjoyed pretty much the same things we did. Also many teams had members from the U.S. and Costa Rica and keep in mind Miami has a large number of Hispanic people so just because you heard a Spanish voice does not mean it came from out of the country.
Alienware Chat was not in the U.S.: False
I pretty much started the chat department and ended it as its head and I can tell you every member was from Miami.
Alienware had gaming clans in many games including World of Warcraft: True
For the most part with out FPS clans we would list ourselves as Alienware members, but for games like W.O.W and other MMO’s we kept it on the down low.
On with the show
Depending on how many people like this special edition featuring booth babes we will do more periodically, so if you liked this one please leave a comment.
Check out the rest of our Cosplay images.
Let’s just be honest, sex sells and it doesn’t matter if you are talking about cars, clothing or even food. Market research and human nature shows that adding the right amount of sex appeal can push your product over the edge. Take the recent Old Spice commercials, with that spot the sexiness was used as a pun and it still worked wonders for both guys and gals. As long as you don’t overdo it and turn people off, sexy is a powerful tool.
Now when it comes to gaming you could be sarcastic and claim that since the stereotype of gamers not having sexy girls is more truth that fiction that adding beautiful girls will draw the guys in by the boat load. We here at Obsolete Gamer have even found that our Fappathon feature attracts the most views particularly by those in the coveted 18 to 35 age range. You always see booth babes at almost any convention that attracts young and older men and let’s not even dive into the way women have been drawn and animated in videos games.
Perhaps we should ask if a sexy gal in a commercial, trailer or in game actually helps a gamer decide to purchase a game or not. In my opinion I would say no. Sure, DOA extreme beach volleyball was interesting, but I did not by it because the game just wasn’t worth it to me. I guess you have to take into consideration where else you can find sexy gals so why spend sixty bucks on a game to see it. Either way, whether you care about the girl convincing you to by the game or not seeing a commercial featuring a hot babe is win win. Let’s take a look at some video game commercials that utilize sexy and you vote on which is best.
Metroid: Other M
Metroid was great even before I knew Samus was a girl, but once I found out it was like having your favorite pizza place hire a hot waitress, it just makes the experience better. Since we’ve known there has been no shortage of shots of sexy Sam wherever and whenever we can get them. However, I will say for the most part they keep to the fact that she is hardcore and on mission at all times. Personally, I think a hardcore woman is even sexier, but that’s just me.
The reason you look at a person’s eyes is so they know you are paying attention to what they are saying. The worst thing is to be talking to a woman and looking down because even if you aren’t looking at her chest it might seem that way. In this commercial the goal is to watch it once and see if you even remember what the hell the guy was talking about. I know I didn’t hear a word he said until the end. I was too busy looking at the sexy.
Tomb Raider: G4TV
Sure, it’s a G4TV commercial, (as a side note I don’t think Direct TV has it on my line-up anymore.) the thing is poor Lara has been misused and she is tired and needs to relax. I would think being on the beach in her combat boots would be uncomfortable, but what do I know. She is right however, you can’t leave her paused forever, that’s just rude.
Dead or Alive: Xtreme Beach Volleyball
Remember what I said about stereotypes, well you have it all here in spades. These are girls playing beach volleyball, but honestly, can you blame the stares, even president Bush had to stop and look. I am not sure about having a bunch of guys all sitting around ogling at the screen, but the “play with yourself” line gives you an out for those of you with an XBOX in your bedroom or moms basement. At the end they guy speaking is the same guy that did the Navy commercials, let the seamen jokes fly.
So here we have four different videos that use sex appeal to sell their games. Now the question is which one did it best?
No good Deed goes unpunished
I wore many hats during my almost ten year span at Alienware and one of those hats was of an RMA clerk. RMA stands for Return Merchandise Authorization which means when you have a product that is broken or in need of exchange you send it to RMA and you either receive a repaired part or a brand new part.
As you can imagine with high end gaming machines you get a lot of parts mostly because people wanted to continue upgrades. I will take credit for introducing a better way to keep track of merchandise which came out of me not wanting to write everything by hand. The result of this was at the end of the month when we did our count it was easy to keep track of everything I received and sent out.
Now I won’t get into to many details, but when you do a monthly count there can be mistakes. Sometimes something was entered wrong or something is missing or mislabeled. Believe me it happens everywhere and when you have hundreds and thousands of parts you are bound to misplace some without it meaning it was stolen.
When a count is off there is a secondary audit. Yes, sometimes you have to write off a loss, but remember, Alienware used high end parts not cheap stuff so we did not like writing things off or losing things for that matter. So when an audit is done everyone has to hand count everything and do their best to make sure all items are accounted for.
At the end of an audit if there is still missing items it has to be written off, but this makes us look bad even if it happens everywhere. The key of course it to make the write off as low as possible and for the most part we did every well in not having to write off stuff as far as I know.
However, sometimes it happened and we were all reminded to double our efforts to make sure the next count would be better. I prided myself in not having to write off much in my department that was until one day when a large number of COA’s were missing.
COA’s are those windows stickers with the windows product keys on them. For Alienware those COA’s are the same as having the disc and are needed when we send them to Microsoft. We take the COA’s off of systems that were returned and cancelled.
My job was once I had a large batch of COA’s I was to take them to our returns accountant. Well when the COA’s came up missing I told my boss I gave it to her. Honestly, I thought I had. They asked her for them and she could not find them and so they were written off, but they were upset because it was a lot of money and was a mistake she was not known to make.
After the audit I cleaned my work space and found the COA’s stuck to a stack of papers I had printed just before the audit. Now I could have kept quiet and no one would have known, but the return accountant lady was my friend and damn me for having a conscious.
I took the COA’s to my boss who just gave me the “You screwed up look.” Here I thought they would be happy it wouldn’t be a write off, but I guess they had already sent notice to Microsoft so to undo it kind of looked bad and so the raff came back onto me.
In the end all I got was a write up which really didn’t mean anything considering my good record before and since then, but it still pissed me off to have gotten one. The important thing was the accountant lady did not take the rap and I apologized to her for the mistake and we became great friends even to this day.
Alright, enough of this text stuff, on to the sexy ladies!
Check out the rest of our Cosplay.
Truths about Alienware
There was too much cake:
Alienware is a Miami based company and as such there were a lot of people of Spanish decent. Well, if you don’t know Spanish people like to celebrate events, perhaps more so than others and those celebrations always have food and cake.
Remember the Seinfeld episode where Elaine hates the large number of office parties? Well, at Alienware there was some event at least three times a week. During my time in the Critical Issues department I must have had cake or some kind of pastry every other day. Now granted, it was my fault for eating so much, but damn who can say no to awesome Cuban cake?
Employee Sales were awesome:
I remember some people claiming we sold returned or damaged parts sometimes. Well let me tell you that is completely false. If a product had even a scratch it would either be returned to the manufacture or sold at the employee sale.
The employee sale was great because the leadership was nice enough to price the stuff real low so we all could get some stuff. We were surprised at the great condition of the merchandise and that was because we did not let bad stuff get by us. I was just glad we were so strict, I built several awesome computers for myself thanks to the employee sale.
There was an attack bird:
When we moved into our latest building we had a crazy blackbird that would swoop down and attack us while we walked from our car to the building. At first we thought it was a mother bird with a nest, but there was no nest and this went on for months.
It was weird too because the bird was smart and would only attack us from behind. We use to say it must be a Falcon Northwest bird. In the end they did some bird away service that gets rid of birds without hurting them. After all, we came in peace.
Enough of that
On to the Cosplay.
The times we worked together on the night shift were quite fun at first. You are a very funny guy and the various websites you showed me made the long nights of chatting with mostly spammers manageable. Honestly I looked forward to you being on the night shift with me that was until you started playing that awful song.
It started innocent enough. “Hey, mind if I play some tunes?” You asked. I said sure, why not. After all everything else you had done up to then was cool. As I sat back and relaxed expecting to hear some rock or techno my ears heard the most peculiar sound. I asked; “What is that, turn it up.” That was a big mistake.
The beat was simple and the lyrics mind melting. Only a few moments went by and I knew the sound would haunt me forever. “What the hell kind of song is this, Warner!” I screamed. “Dude!” He responded. “What, you never heard Banana phone before?” Clearly I hadn’t because if I had I would have already gone insane. He just kept playing it over and over and as much as I didn’t wanna hear it I couldn’t get myself up to turn it off.
“I can’t get it out of my brain!” I cried.
“That’s Banana phone” He replied with an evil grin.
The song still rings in my head today. Warner cursed me with that damn song destroying the peaceful calm of the chat support night shift.
I hate you Warner!
So a few people actually liked the little stories before the sexy pictures, I guess it made them a little happier about the Cosplay. This week you get some pictures from Alienware with descriptions, so it’s like something good wrapped within something awesome. You guess which is which.
Blizzcon 2008Clan PMS & H20
My first time going and it was a blast. We were with the Dell guys over in the back with our awesome Semi truck. We had a lot of contests and gave out some cool prizes. We had a beat the pro tournament there where fans could play against Clan PMS and Clan H20 which are pictured above. Those guys and gals were really cool and we had a great time. The final day of the show I filled in as MC for a bit and while it took some getting used to I think I did and okay job.
Blizzcon 2009Blizzcon 2009 Warcraft 3 DOTA contest winners
These are the guys who won our Warcraft 3 DOTA contest. It was a lot of fun working Blizzcon because honestly the people there were so nice and though our section was smaller for this event we still had a great crowd. You may have even seen me testing out one of the laptops on G4TV’s coverage of the event, but for some reason I just can’t find the footage.
We were always allowed to wear some type of costume for Halloween at Alienware with a few exceptions. Last year we had a contest for the best costume and it was voted on by other employees. It was good fun, but there was bias. I mean the warehouse guys stick together and my small team had no chance to win. Then again we didn’t dress up; maybe that was part of it too.
Alright, enough about me and my time at AW on with the pictures!
The best of the best in video game cosplay, find it right here at Obsolete Gamer.
No story this week. I know you guys are crushed. On with the Cosplay
A small posting note, the Fappathon Cosplay can now be found every Friday on Obsolete Gamer so no more random days. End your week with some FAPP!
Shout, shout, let it all out
One of the many jobs during my time at Alienware was taking chats from customers. It was simple, you clicked on the chat box and it opened a java chat window and we would try to answer customer’s questions. For the most part it was a good job, but for some reason people though it would be fun to spam chat agents. There was even a message board event telling their members to go out and spam and prank chat agents at various computer companies.
We had two teams for chat one in the day and one in the evening. I was working the evening shift with one other person and after a long hard day I received one of those spammers. I tried my best to remain professional, but the chat was going on for over an hour. Every time the guy would get rude to where I could cut him off he would turn back to computer stuff because he knew I had to help him.
Well I couldn’t yell at the customer so I yelled out loud to myself. We were the only two people in the entire building or so I thought. In the middle of a yelling rant with some choice words I turned to the other worker to see a look of deathly shock on his face. Sure, I used some curse words, but it wasn’t bad enough to warrant a look like he was giving me. Then I noticed he wasn’t looking directly at me, but behind me.
I turned to see one of the big bosses behind me and a chill of death came over my body as if Sub-zero had touched my spine. The boss just said “come with me” and walked toward his office. I was sure I was fired, but the boss knew about the pranks and my hard day and gave me a break, but warned me other bosses might not have been so forgiving. I was thankful that he was so cool and make sure to only rant and yell in my head while at work.
Alienware Facts: Behind the scenes edition
Instead of a story for this week I will instead present some facts about my time at Alienware.
Fact: We were gamers:
Pretty much 90% of us were gamers of some sort back during my time at Alienware. Some of us were true gaming geeks playing everything from PC to Console games going back to the 80’s. Often we would have LAN parties at the office and would go to various people’s homes to play console games. As long as the work got done reading and talking about gaming was allowed (well for most of us) and this did help us become better sales, customer service and tech support agents.
Fact: We had a mystery bathroom destroyer
9 times out of 10 the bathrooms were clean and pleasant, but at least once a day someone would go in and total destroy the bathroom rendering it useless for at least an hour. You would think it would be easy to figure out who it was, but we had multiple bathrooms and the person changed which one he or she (read: he) destroyed. We even considered pointing the cameras toward the door, but we didn’t.
Fact: The Bosses were pretty cool
What made even the toughest times fun was that most of the upper management were pretty cool people. They did not have the mentality that the workers were nothing more than paid slaves. In addition they were gamers as well and understood what it is like to be a gamer and to work in an environment of gaming. This allowed the workplace to be relatively stress-free. Not feeling the bosses breathing down your neck 24/7 made going to work much more enjoyable and I believe it showed in our productivity.
Fact: The Roach Coach had no Roaches
We called the lunch truck that came around every morning around 10:30 the roach coach, but in fact the food was really good and the truck was nice and clean. The guy who ran the truck was also nice and would even allow us to owe him if we were short. Now surly you could find fatty foods that any gamer would love on the coach, but it also offered some healthy choices such as fresh fruit and 100% juices. It was a nice break in the early part of the day.
Fact: Not everyone was discreet with their desktop wallpaper
Everyone was very professional at Alienware even the younger guys for many of whom this was their first non-fast food job. We knew all the rules about privacy and we understood ourselves that we wouldn’t want our private information being seen or read by others. However, some people forgot that we need to boot the PC before we begin work. We made it clear we would format a customer’s hard drive before returning the system and warned them to insure all items they wished to keep was backed-up.
In most cases this wasn’t an issue and we knew that even if the system was backed up it didn’t mean the original material would not remain on the PC. Since we knew this we made sure not to open folders or files on a customer’s PC, but there was nothing we could do about one’s desktop wallpaper.
One day while I was working in RMA I heard a Depot technician yell out “Holy Shit!” I turned and looked through the chain link fence dividing our departments to see a picture of a woman preforming an oral act on a man. The tech quickly selected a solid color background and went back to work. The PC was fixed and formatted and returned. Weeks later we receive an e-mail thanking us for fixing his machine and he included a picture of him standing next to the PC smiling with his wife.
Funny thing, the guy in the picture matched the guy on the wallpaper, the woman did not.
On with the Show
And now here’s something you’ll really like, Cosplay.
I figure I needed to put something in this space because just posting pictures is just not enough for me, so from now on all Fappathon Cosplay posts will be accompanied by stories of my time at Alienware.
The Big Boss’ Smile:
I had only been at Alienware a few months and was still pretty shy and quiet even though I knew people there from my LAN group Red-Eye. My friends told my bosses about how outgoing and funny I was and when I did not show it on the job it made them wonder. Also, at the time I worked customer service and was known for being direct to the point with no small talk. In addition I was timid on the phone and did not want confrontation.
I got a call from a lady claiming her system was broken. I tried to assist her as I always did but she quickly became angry at me and began to blame me personally for everything. She took every word I said and twisted it. I wasn’t too concerned, but I did my best to get done quickly and keep her anger to a minimum. Unfortunately, it didn’t work and she claimed I was no help and hung up.
Moments later my direct supervisor comes over and asks me about the call. I tell the truth and then a worried look comes over his face.
“That was the boss’s niece.” He said. “She called the boss and said you were rude and hung up on her.”
Now I was panicking. I tried my best to explain it wasn’t true, but my supervisor just directed me to stand up and follow him to the boss’s office. The look on my supervisors face was one I had seen before; it was the same as when he had to fire someone. To say I was shaking in my boots would be a mild statement.
Now the big boss was known for being tough and did not take any lip from anyone. He would fire you on the spot if you screwed up and was never known for playing games. He had a scowl that could frighten the grim reaper and a presence that was stronger than Darth Vader. I knew I was a goner; the question was how bad would it be.
We arrive at his office and he just stares at me with Ghost Rider like eyes, not filled with fire, but a cold darkness that could freeze your soul. I started to plead my case and he just said;
“I don’t want to hear it, you know what you did and you know what happens correct?”
I just lowered my head, there was nothing more to say. I admit, I almost cried.
“Do you know what day this is?” He asked.
I didn’t know what he meant. I just looked up at him puzzled.
“It’s April Fool’s Day”
For the first time that I could remember he smiled and his smile did not make me feel any better. It was the kind of smile a serial killer gives his victim. Then my supervisor came in laughing and said it was all a setup and the lady on the phone was his cousin. I laughed and took it well which in the end helped me earn cool points with the upper staff. The big boss shook my hand and I returned to my seat. I didn’t even know it was April fool’s day, but I never forgot the day after that.
Hope you liked the story and now on to the girls!
Check out the rest of our Fappathons.
Many of you are either in school, at work or unemployed and living it up. Either way it is a good time for a Fapp-A-Thon cosplay session!