Every week the ObscureInternet Forum ponders a Question of the Week, this week it is what is your embarrassing moment?
It was a dark night. And I was pissed. Very pissed. And I am pretty damn certain somebody had put a little spikyness in my drink. Not that I minded. I just wish they had told me first.
I ended up (for some very unknown reason..) walking (or rather swaying like a dead swan) up to a house I had moved out of a few months previous.
Somehow, I managed to climb through a window, or something similar, and I ran around the house shouting at its new inhabitants to “get the fuck outta my house…arrgghhhh….wheres my bedroom gone…arrgghhhh…piss off get out out out” whilst trying to find “my” bedroom….which of course didnt exist any more. I was very confused, very upset, and ended up screaming and running around until I eventually ran outside and sat in the middle of the road crying my tears into the tarmac.
It wasnt my house anymore. And the new inhabitants were french and did not understand a word I was saying.
I eventually got a phone call from the landlady telling me to get off of her property. She also told me where I actually lived.
And I was embarassed.
One day at college, we were making stuff with play-do for a reason I can’t remember save for it was nothing to do with what we where supposed to be doing. Anyway, someone made a pretty decent looking severed finger with the play-do. So we decide to play a joke on the chip shop we were going to at lunch time while walking from one campus to another with me doing the joke playing.
So I walk into the chip shop and I order a bag of chips, and when the Wifey behind the counter hands them over I pretend to examine them and then pull out the severed finger saying ‘What is this?’ while holding it for all to see just as planned. However unlike the plan the Wifey behind the counter just stares blankly at me and this is point where I realise this was a completely stupid joke that wasn’t remotely funny, what a great gift hindsight is. I very quickly leave the shop without my change feeling a like proper bell end.
I once asked a paint chemist if all solvents are volatile, that was very embarrasing.
When I was 17 I had been out on the sauce for the night i came home managed to strip naked but didn’t quite make it to close the curtains or under the duvet… I woke up th efollowing morning naked ontop of my bed with the cutains open and the window cleaner cleaning my window… I was sprawlled out showing all I had for the window cleaner to see… i was so embarassed I couldn’t let him see I was awake so I just rolled over… letting him see my bum instead (or thinking of it now… as well he’d seen everything else)
A long time ago in a taxi far, far away….. (*STAR WARS THEME*)
Episode 6 and a half – THE FARTOM MENACE
It was a time of great trumoil, whilst on a drunken mission from a nightclub in Wakefield, the young Sith Lord Russbadarse and his entourage were travelling home in a taxicab. The young sith let one go in his trousers, unfortunately, he also followed through, but not letting on that he’d let off, kept quiet. It stunk the whole taxi out, even the poor pilot, eyes stinging, had to wind his window down. Cries of “Fuck me, who’s shit?!” were heard throughout the whole galaxy (Ford Galaxy) and the smell finally dissipated once the young Sith had disembarked from the vehicle, to his abode, where he cleaned himself up….
He must have had a bad pint!
I woke up bursting for a a piss in a BB whilst on the lash with the lads ona a weekend trip to Blackpool. The bog was just down the hall so walked there in just my boxers. When I returned to my room I found i had no key and was locked out. It would probably not have been a good idea to wake the landlord at that time in the morning. So being quite pissed and quite able to sleep anywhere, I decided to just sleep in the hall. I don’t really remeber this bit, but one of the lads in the room next door to me must have done the same thing but remembered his key and dragged me into his room. When I woke up in the morning, I was confused and didn’t even realise i was in a different room. I saw what I thought was my jeans on the floor and stuck my hand in the pocket looking for my nicotine fix. My mate must have just woke up and thought i was trying to rob him, till I explained. Not sure how you could explain that you have your hand in your mates jeans pocket but I managed it somehow and can’t remember to this day what i said. Anyway The embarrassing part was at breakfast when he told the rest of the lads and I really struggled with an explanation.
Pissing one – woke up in a puddle of my own urine in a hotel corridor at roughly 3AM about 4 weeks ago. I’m not proud. I blame the stella, all fourteen pints of it.
Eight of which were absorbed into the carpet.
At the beginning of February I went out for a works leaving do where we went into Yates in Hartlepool. Haven’t been out round town for a while and was surprised to see a couple of poles on the dance floor. Me being me decided it would be fun to dance around one of them. All was going well, I was even swinging round it with one leg until I missed the pole and smacked the top of my thigh into it. Now I wasn’t drunk cos the pain was unreal. I had a small bruise on Sunday morning and a slight ache in my leg but the worst came on Monday when I had to go to work, I woke up with a lump and a bruise the size of a dinner plate at the top of my left thigh and could hardly walk. After lunch I couldn’t take it anymore so I took myself off to A&E to get checked. I was seen by the most gorgeous doctor ever to walk the halls of Hartlepool general and nearly died when I had to take my trousers down to show him my leg, poor guy did all he could not to laugh in my face as i explained what I’d done. Not content with that though after he tells me nothing is broken just pulled 95% of muscles/tendons in my leg I’m hobbling out of and A&E rather embarrassed when he shouts over “Oh miss Lawson, one last thing, next time you decide to try pole dancing please do us both a favour and have some lessons first” I felt like i was 13 again standing in front of the headmaster at school. I think my face was a purple as the bruise on my leg! Albeit I hobbled out of there as fast as my knackered leg could carry me.