10 Yard Fight

The game clock is divided into two fast counting thirty minute halves, which I appreciate since I'd probably still playing the game of Baseball I began if I didn't say to hell with it. The difficulty ...

Mach Rider

In an uncharacteristically dark story for 1985 Nintendo, the setting is a post apocalyptic Earth in the year 2112 after an alien invasion of the evil Quadrunners. Whether the programmers were Rush fan...

Excitebike

Design Mode is exactly what it sounds like. You get your own NES canvas and get to paint it however you like. Starting with a completely bare track, there are 19 ways to litter it with shit that would...

Stack-Up

Enter R.O.B., the greatest Trojan Horse in gaming history. At a time when noone was willing to part with their funds for a video game system, Nintendo unveiled the Robotic Operating Buddy along with t...

Popeye

Popeye is given a weapon the Marios and Kongs didn't have at the time as he can swing his mighty fists at anything that moves with the exception of "Brutus". To take that huge, burly tub of fatfuck do...

NES Baseball

The worst part of this game, and the main reason is gets such a low mark is the goddamned fielding. The controls are just anarchy. Any fielder you control moves about the speed of a mudslide and the g...

Kung Fu

Beat 'em ups seemed to be released every week in the late 80s/early 90s with some legendary titles like Golden Axe, Double Dragon, Streets Of Rage, and Final Fight at the forefront. These and every ga...

Donkey Kong Jr. Math

The game sure looks like DK Jr. from the arcades but that's where the similarity ends. There are 3 modes to "play" but the only difference between A and B are that B uses negative numbers. The gist of...

Hogan’s Alley

Game A is your standard 3 target shooter. This would be one of the rare times I enjoy no kind of musical track because if you're an FBI agent trying to concentrate, the last thing you want is bouncy c...

Clu Clu Land

Onto the meaty part of the burger. You're a fish named Bubbles trying to collect coins while avoiding the Unira, a nasty type of sea urchin. Without the game manual, I wouldn't have clue one that this...

Super Mario Bros

The only negative I can even possibly find with this game is the 2 player. If you are Mario, you have to die in order for it to be Luigi's turn. If the person playing Mario was good, go to the store, ...