Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Smash-Up

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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Smash-Up

TMNT Smash Up is everything that’s wrong with fighting games in the modern era. It lacks any sense of cohesiveness, more content with slapping characters on-screen to flail around without a sense of pacing or flow.

Trying to discuss motion controls in a fighting game is pointless. They simply shouldn’t exist. That said, even with the classic controller Smash Up is awful. Jumping is floaty, creating a disconnect between the player and the character. The lack of d-pad controls are unforgivable, making the already loose movement nearly impossible in terms of preciseness.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Smash-Up - Nintendo Wii

That creates an additional issue when attempting to complete the mini-games, forced on the player whether or not they simply want to continue in the arcade mode… twice. Asking for any accuracy in a game with so little is absurd, yet that’s what Smash Up’s mini excursions are designed around.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Smash-Up - Nintendo Wii

An atrocious tutorial is a simple video, not one tailored to your chosen control scheme. The mechanics, such as ninja powers, are never explained. It creates a learning curve that forces the player out before they can be drawn in, something that makes a supposedly accessible melee brawler out of the reach of many.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Smash-Up - Nintendo Wii

Mirage artists craft cinematics tailored to mimic the art style of the original comics, but also clashed with the in-game visuals capitalizing on the recent animated cartoon film. The comic drawings also appear rushed, with oddly proportioned characters and limited detail.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Smash-Up - Nintendo Wii

If Turtles fans will gain anything, it is a set of voice actors who instantaneously create familiarity with the Turtles. They fit, even if the rest of the game does not. Smash Up doesn’t even seem to be a case of rushed development. There is not a game here that could have become anything besides a sloppy melee fighter. The end results are nothing short of disappointment.

WarioWare Smooth Moves

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WarioWare Smooth Moves

Good evening, Seamus the Leprechaun here, guest blogger on the Decrepit Gamer, comin atcha from the bowels of Southern Ireland, where the weather is freezing my goolies off.

Well the old fella has let me loose on a review, so in a effort to give new life to the standard yawn inducing reviews we’ll take a little rumage at what ye the players have had to say about the bloody game.
WarioWare Smooth Moves

Well as if there was any doubt, scoring 83% from the readers reviews on Metacritic.com
the games the cat’s pyjamas.

Readers Reviews Summary:
Terribly stupid and shallow gameplay mechanism. At least Wii Sports was free and had bowling but Warioware is just DISGUSTING! Score 1/10
I find no enjoyment whatsoever in this. It’s painful to look at. How can I enjoy a game, regardless of the controls if I can’t stand the graphics? Score 0/10As you can see theres always some eejit willing to make a …(censored -elderly) of themselves in public.

WarioWare Smooth Moves

Gaf Comments: So I took me a trip over to the Wario thread on GAF forums, where spOrsk said
“the game seems over, way before it should be……..it just seems the game is missing the ambition of games like RT and Twisted.” Which frightened the crap out of a number of members till the following emergedPeru..This game is magical. It’s fantastic. It’s the best wario ware game by far
Memles… I think it’s a whole lot of fun, contains some moments of brilliant game design, but there just isn’t enough here.
Alternative Ulster…Wow, this game is beyond amazing.
wasting….Its awesome, finally a reason to turn my wii on again
2D mention…I’m quite impressed
Phife Dawg…I’m having a great time with this. Beating the high scores is fun and multiplayer is a blast.

Warioware_Smooth_Moves

So dere you have it… straight from the horses mouth, not those namby pamby professional reviewers who wouldn’t know a good game if it bit em in the ar…..(censored–elderly).

Right thats me done!. . . . . Oh yeah!!!

. . . . .theres a neat (I suppose) option over on the Nintendo site providing exclusive content. But to access it you’ll have to stick your pin in….. (elderly—-you actually have to enter a pin number contained in the special software insert included with the game)