Game Reviews

The bored ramblings of a neurotic heavily pregnant woman – House bound

After turning little vests and other clothes inside out there wasn’t much for me to do on Wednesday aside from washing more clothes, so after popping another load into the machine I took myself to the end of the street to catch the 9.15 bus into town. The morning started well, this bus is usually full of old people going into town for their pensions/blue rinses and can get quite full/noisy so I was well prep’d with my head fones to listen to my MP3’s. The bus was actually reasonably quite, I was having fun sitting listening to the chigaco soundtrack whilst James made some funny shapes of my tummy.

Once in town I headed off to primark for a few nightie and some big knickers. Usually I don’t do big knickers and can’t actually remember when I last wore a pair but as I’ll need em after James is born I thought i’d best get used to them Primark was quite busy so I waddled round as fast as my every growing tush could take me.

I should have known my day was going too well as in the next shop I had a to do with an old lady resulting in her crying her eyes out. There I was minding my own business in the pund shop looking at the shampoo’s and shower gels when not only once but twice the crouchy old bint ran her shopping carrier over my foot. Not content with that she even rammed the bloody thing up the back of my leg then turned to her husband and declared “young uns these days have no respect, the won’t move out your way”. As those of you who know me will understand that this is not a good comment to make at any time let alone when I’m 35 weeks pregnant. I saw red!! Turned to the old bag and boldy shouted – and I qoute “If you need to get passed me all you had to do was say excuse me please. And if that bloody thing comes near me again I swear to almighy god I will shove it up your arse!!. No sooner had I finished my sentance she was in tear muttering something to her husband. He was stiffling his giggles, and I was muttering “for f*cks sake” as i put my shopping basket down and walked out the shop. I do beleive I could be on the next episode of crime watch. That was enough for me. I called into savers at the top of the ramp for some loo roll and headed for the bus home, my piss boiling all the way. The next person to bother me would surely end up in A&E. Thanks fully the bus came almost immediatley and was quite. Phew!!! I was saved from a posible police record.

Safely home I put away what little shopping I had bought, unloaded the machine then promptly put on my pj’s and got comfy on the settte. My day was pretty much finished, the rest of it was spent going back and forth from the washing machine whilst mooching online and nattering to my dad via msn.

I decided that Thursday would be best spent at home doing nothing as I’m clearly not fit to be let loose on the public. The most energetic thing I done on thursday was shower. The day was spent watching downloaded tv emailing a few relatives and snoozing on the couch, I even had a bit banter with crag via PM, which was nice.

Not long before typing this the puschair had arrived. I text mick to tell him the good news with full intentions of sitting in the floor trying to assemble it, but sadly he has ordered me to leave it in the box, ordr takeaway for tea and the two of us wil build it tonight. I promise to write todays blog asap tomorrow as I have no doubt building the pushchair will be eventful, nothing is ever straight forward for Mick and I, nothing!!

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J.A. Laraque

J.A. Laraque is a freelance writer and novelist. His passion for writing mixed with a comedic style and intelligent commentary has brought him success in his various endeavors. Whatever the subject, J.A. has an opinion on it and will present it in writing with an insight and flair that is both refreshing and informative.

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