The Gamers Guide to Sex

The Gamers Guild to Sex - Gamer Girl

Like with the Interruption, Multitasking can lead to trouble if attempted at the wrong time. Perhaps in the normal world there is no wrong time for sex. This is not the normal world. ~J.A. Laraque

The Gamers Guide to Sex

In the past, the stereotype was that gamers were either 90-pound pale virgins or 500-pound pale virgins. Today the virgin part is a little less true thanks to the wonders of internet communication and desperation. So now, you have a partner, hopefully someone who shares in your gaming habits or at least tolerates them enough to still sleep with you. This isn’t about sex in video games. You need to know how to navigate gaming and sex and understand all the terms, tricks and tips that go along with it.

A.F.K. Sex

The Gamers Guild to Sex - AFK Sex

Most of the time A.F.K Sex is a mistyping where you meant to type either sec. Sometimes it is a played out joke or a cry for attention.  However, there are those who engage in the quickie between games and you can either feel good for them that they are having sex or bad that it is so quick. One pro tip is if you are on Ventrilo make sure to turn off your microphone or it can get really embarrassing.

The A.F.K. Sex really only works if both parties are gamers or your partner really likes a quickie. Lovemaking should be the journey not the destination, but when there are two gamers and a break in-between raids you get the good when you can get it in.

The Interruption

The Gamers Guild to Sex - The Interruption

Surprise sex can be fun when it is wanted and legal. However, with the gamer it can go 50/50. Here are a few examples. You are playing a console game and your girlfriend is frisky and begins pushing your buttons. It is a simple matter to pause the game and have a little non-digital fun. On the flip side, you are a gamer girl in the middle of your StarCraft 2 tournament match and your boyfriend is poking at your boobs. This is a bad time and because of his bad timing he will most likely earn a faction loss which just might result in him getting no sex even once you are doing with your game.

The key here is communication. You want to read the signals and know the game before you make your move. For the most part if you can pause the game you have the green light, but this can depend on various situations as well. With online gaming, unless they are sitting in an inn or some other safe zone its best to ask before just jumping in.


The Gamers Guild to Sex - Gamer Girl Multitasking

If done correctly and at the right time this should award a real life achievement. Multitasking is when you are able to perform a sexual act while gaming. An example would be third base while playing Diablo 3 at your desk. You earn more point’s dependent on the act and the game. I will keep it clean so use your imagination, but if you are playing a game that requires a lot of concentration and split second timing and you can still preform or be preformed on, then you earn a higher score.

Like with the Interruption, Multitasking can lead to trouble if attempted at the wrong time. Perhaps in the normal world there is no wrong time for sex. This is not the normal world.

Victory or Defeat

The Gamers Guild to Sex - Victory

Victory or Defeat is great because it can work if you are a gamer or not. Simply put either way you have sex, but the why it is initiated depends on if you win or lose your game. Say, you just downed a boss in World of Warcraft for the first time. In this case, it could start out with a victory cheer followed by a passionate make-out session.

Take that same boss victory, but say you missed the roll on that one item you have been dying for. Now, the approach is more of condolence and comfort, kind of like hitting on a widow after a funeral, but less sleazy. The key here is not to dwell too much on the loss because you do not want to kill the mood. However, a good roll in the sack can cure most gaming blues.

The Duel

The Gamers Guild to Sex -  The Duel

This is a game two gamers can play, the goal is to get the other to stop playing a game and take you to the bedroom or right there if possible.  I say this is for gamers because you both should know it is ok to try this because either the game can be paused or it is not that important. Nine out of ten times the female will win the duel because they just pwn us in that department, but if you can get her worked up first then you just might earn an achievement of your own. Just make sure to follow through and don’t choke.

Safety First

The Gamers Guild to Sex - PSP Lick

So there are just a few you gamer couples can play around with. You can have a happy sex life and still remain a gamer if you work at it and communication is paramount be it in person or vent or whispers in your favorite MMO. The questions we pose to you is how many of these have you don’t and what others have you created or done yourself?

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J.A. Laraque

J.A. Laraque is a freelance writer and novelist. His passion for writing mixed with a comedic style and intelligent commentary has brought him success in his various endeavors. Whatever the subject, J.A. has an opinion on it and will present it in writing with an insight and flair that is both refreshing and informative.

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