Game Reviews

The bored ramblings of a neurotic heavily pregnant woman – Part two

So after my nan had burned my last brain cell on Monday, I decided tuesday would not be strenuous in any shape or form. After taking an hour to wake up properly and have breakfast I decided a soak in the bath would do me some good. Yes the soak was fab however is there anyone out there who can explain how on earth we women are meant to de-fuzz without causing ourselves ABH?? I can manage my underarms without any problem but the rest is kind of a guessing game, I can’t reach anywhere without falling over or taking a chunk skin from either the bottom of my leg near my ankle or the back of my knee bone. I seriously think I have butchered myself for life and all in the name of being a parent! I’m pretty sure tho I have done much worse for much much less at some point in the life.

After I managed to haul myself out of the bath (another task that leaves me breathless but now with forearms like hulk hogan) I called my best mate Kisrty. Kirsty and I have been mates for just over 20 years and she too is heavily pregnant, so pregnant in fact she is due to be induced today at 4pm. It’s been great going though the pregnancy with a friend, especially as we have always been close and hold each other in a higher regard than our own brother/sister. The only pitfall in this, is kirsty being further on than me. She tells me the horror stories that I really didn’t need to know. Like a step by step dramatisation of what happened when her midwife came out to give her the sweep when she was 5 days over due. Now as my due date is the 20th Dec I have already questioned this with my midwife. No way on gods green earth was I prepared for her to come to my house on Christmas day, viloate me and then toddle off for her turkey dinner. Neither did she thankfully. “Oh I don’t work Christmas Day or Boxing Day it would be the 27th if I needed to come out to see you”. Terriffic. 2 more days of baking my baby ripe!

So after discussing how incredibly fat we were feeling and how anxious kirsty is to get Millie out (confirmed 6 times that her baby is a girl) we said our goodbyes, I’ll be waiting by the phone from 4pm today for her fella to call and confirm that her ordeal is over and my new neice is happy and healthy.

With that out the way thre was only 1 thing to do, start washing James clothes. We have bags and bags and even more bags of stuff all crammed into the old airing cupboard in the spare room that is now the nursery. Now as I didn’t want the day to be strenuous I have no idea why I would make a start on this. Not only did I have to pluck the tags of each and every item, everything had to be turned inside out everything!!! Now those of you who know me, will not be surprised to hear that I started buying clothes from my 12 week scan and will now that I did not take the subject of looking after this child lightly. I know I probably have far to much but I can’t help myself!

I spent almost an hour turn little vests, sleepsuits and outfits inside out and putting into piles, whites, pales and darks then popped the first load into the machine. I then had the task of making the wardrobe and drawers smell nice. We (namely Mick) had only just built the wardrobe and chest of drawers over the past week or so and they still have the new wood smell. I couldn’t possibly put my babies cfreshly cleaned closthes in there to smell of wood when I need to cloth him. I had the idea of scented drawer liners which I was meant to buy from town on Monday before going to my nan’s. As is the case with most things I need to buy lately, they are still in the shop. It was one the one thing i desperatly needed and forgot. I did howevr come home with a whole host of other crap that could have stayed in the shops for a few more weeks, i.e christmas tree decorations. So after refuelling with a coffee and some shortbread I head off for the stairs. Now I need to explain that my stairs are pretty much on an 85 degree angle. I would have more chance of waddling my arse up K2, ok ok, not quite but you get the picture. At the top now, just taking a few moments to catch my breath I spring into action. I’m armed with a cloth and some febreze, if febreze can be used to make your soft furnishings smell nice then why the hell can’t it work on wood. Now obviously it can’t soak in but a wipe round with the stuff should help nuetralize the smell, shouldn’t it? Twice during the afternoon I whizzed round with the febreeze and the cloth and guess what, the new wood smell is fading yeay me!!

I’m still on my first load of washing as half the fooking crap I’ve bought can’t be tumble dryed. So it went on the airers in the front and on the radiator. I’ll get cracking with the rest on Wednesday.

Nearly forgot to mention that the mothercare order I placed on saturday arrived. I was every so excited as I unpacked it. All the bedding and soft furnishings are from mothercare’s Teddy’s wash day range. A friend from wor had taken me over to Teesside park to get most of if but some bits had to be ordered online. Out came the cot mobile, light shade, changing mat, bath towels, ergonomic grooming kit, and yes the one thing I’ve been waiting for, the Gro Egg digital thermometer. One of the things that has been playing on my mind has been the temperature of the rooms. So I rip the box open, pull out the gro egg and plug it in the corner of the front room. Straight away it glows bright red. This aint good it means my room is too hot. Bugger bugger bugger! I need to have the tempertaure just right so that my egg glows yellow. Gues what I’m doing on wednesday in between washings!

Views: 73

J.A. Laraque

J.A. Laraque is a freelance writer and novelist. His passion for writing mixed with a comedic style and intelligent commentary has brought him success in his various endeavors. Whatever the subject, J.A. has an opinion on it and will present it in writing with an insight and flair that is both refreshing and informative.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Time limit is exhausted. Please reload CAPTCHA.