How to keep your girl off your W.O.W. playing back

angry girlfriend
angry girlfriend

How to keep your girl off your W.O.W. playing back

Believe it or not there are people out there who try desperately to reduce their World of Warcraft playtime. It is not due to the increasing ease of game play or a lull until cataclysm, but because their wives and girlfriends have asked them to. I am here to help you guys out. You don’t have to cut down on the epics and pwning noobs. All you need is a distraction, like throwing White Castle burgers at a charging fat person.


It is possible your girlfriend or wife is already playing this game. In it you control your avatar and manage a virtual farm. To be honest, it’s the type of farm a six year old child would manage, because you can put reindeer next to your Jacuzzi overlooking your watermelon crop.

This game is so addictive there are cases of people (women) getting tickets due to rushing home to harvest their crops before they rot. The good thing is this game is played through facebook which is another time killer. Since you have to level up and make money this game will keep your lady very occupied. The downside is she may become too consumed in the game with the finding the baby black sheep, ugly ducklings and the like. Just a word of advice, make sure she doesn’t use real money to buy stuff in game. I mean who would spend real life money on a game right?


Believe it or not Bejeweled and World of Warcraft have a history. Word was around 2008 a Bejeweled add-on was to be added as an interface download. I don’t know if that happened, anyway. Bejeweled is a great game for the ladies because it combines two things they like, jewels and trying to solve problems you don’t really have too.

The good thing about Bejeweled is you can get it on almost any media platform from PC to the Iphone. The game is simple, yet addictive and never ends. We know several truths, District 9 aliens love the sweeties, bitches love smiley faces and your lady will love Bejeweled.

Nintendo Wii

Known as the Yahoo games console, the Nintendo Wii is perfect for keeping your girl occupied while you grind away. Most gamers would rather gouge their eyes out than play games you could find online for free, but somehow thanks to smart marketing and a ton of accessories the Wii has become the Imac of the twenty-first century, everyone has one in their house, but few use it.

With the Wii you can buy a few game packages, like the sports pack and bask in the glow of your monitor as she swings away playing such riveting nail biting games like Bowling and Tennis. You can also create avatars for that SIM’s feel that you can then have interact with other created avatars, its brainless fun.

Add to that the everybody votes channel where your girl can vote on hot topics such as which New Moon star sparkles brighter in the sunlight. Along with the news, weather channel and access to old Nintendo games, this is perfect to keep your lady off your back.

Finally there is Wii fit. This is a perfect way to please and offend your girl at the same time. With Wii fit your girl can work away the pounds with an assortment of exercises, but beware. It is possible she will get in shape and realize she can do much better than you and dump your sorry ass, but then again it just gives you more World of Warcraft playing time which is all that matters.

If you take this seriously shoot yourself now

So there you have it. With these three things you can toss away your new year’s resolutions like a Christmas fruitcake. I mean you could always cut back, read, workout, have sex, get a job or do a million better things with your time, but that won’t grow your e-peen now will it?

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J.A. Laraque

J.A. Laraque is a freelance writer and novelist. His passion for writing mixed with a comedic style and intelligent commentary has brought him success in his various endeavors. Whatever the subject, J.A. has an opinion on it and will present it in writing with an insight and flair that is both refreshing and informative.

2 thoughts on “How to keep your girl off your W.O.W. playing back

  • Looks like someone goes to the Micheal Scott school of sarcasm.

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